but I’ve always thought it was ‘an act’ rather than a way of life.
Sad that you think that.
For me, I never felt anything but at one with this approach.
YMMV.
That’s good then.
I guess my Dad is the reason why I think that – he was always a massive hothead over things that don’t ever register on my horizon. Some slight in work, or some job title he didn’t like – not the job, but the name of it – if he’s not a director of something he’s not happy, which lead down some self-destructive paths in the past.
He works on his EI constantly and it’s made him a lot calmer, but I can tell when he’s under stress, but he rationalises it away, but I wonder if it’s really gone or he’s just not acting on it and if he’s externally calm but in a rage internally – is his inner monolog just a stream of obscenities and desires to kill everyone in his path, what’s that doing to his mental state.
Maybe I should just look at the evidence, he rarely seems happy, but he rarely seems unhappy, whilst I’ve spent the last couple of months never more than a badly worded text from my Wife from another full-blown panic attack, but I’m trying to work through it by facing my fears rather than ‘pretending’ they’re not real.