My Dad’s on his own now my Mum has passed away, and over the last 12 months has understandably aged a wee bit. His confidence is diminishing and he’s slightly worrying about things. He’s very focused on falling over and not having anyone to help, specifically getting out of the shower! So he wants to call me before his shower, have the phone on whilst he showers, so he can yell to me if he falls. I live 200miles away!

I’d be keen for him to get a personal safety alarm / buzzer thing, but don’t want to knock his confidence further by saying ‘you’re old and incapable’. But reality is, it would make sense for him to have one on him all day, as he works in his garden, keen on projects in the shed, goes for strolls.

Any good recommendations of what to look for, esp if it doesn’t focus on being old and decrepit.

Thanks

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Sorry no advice but in same boat so following…

Apple watch does this.
My BIL fell over the other day and his watch asked if he needed help.

Just a thought – may not be suitable though.

Apple Watch? Not sure if it can call you rather than emergency services.

https://support.apple.com/en-gb/HT208944

Mine needs daily charging if that is important.

My wife’s grandmother had a system that connected to the phone line and there was a pendant she could wear. It went to a control room who would call family numbers or by emergency services.

Sorry but I cannot remember what it was called.

I’ve had the same issue with my dad, although mum still lives with him. I contacted the local authority and charities and he now has a panic button system with a pendant that he puts round his neck. He’s not happy about it but after a close call a few weeks ago he’s accepted he needs it.

If he’s good with modern technology how about a smart phone/speaker that he can command to call you/whoever if he does got into difficulty? Obviously if he falls and knocks himself out it won’t be useful but then neither will an alarm button. It would still give him that sense of independence but he’ll know that help is easily called for if needed.

EDIT: seems others have had the same Smart Tech thoughts too.

200 miles away – Time to sell up and move nearer to you

Alongside that it’s also worth considering a bath mat in the shower, a stool/seat in the shower, all shiny flooring covered, little auto lights that flick on with movement (Aldi?), bannisters everywhere.

We got my mum a Buddi band. http://www.buddi.co.uk It works well enough, we had a few false alarms when she first got it, since we got the sensitivity right it works well. It detects falls automatically and she can press it herself if she needs to raise the alarm.

It alerts, me,my wife, both my brothers and a couple of her grandchildren if anything happens.

I got my mum a pendant, it’s on subscription and works in the garden too. There’s a key safe so if she triggers it, the operator calls, if no response tney call the police who are told the location and key safe code.

Q reassuring for us, her mate fell in the shower and was stuck for 3 days. She was sort of wedged in the cubicle.

I think it was say 100 quid to get set up and about 30 per month, may be less I can’t remember.

We thought about cameras and passive security but have no WiFi.

Age UK worth a look?

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/products/mobility-and-independence-at-home/personal-alarms/

I am looking seriously at that buddi tag. The combination of auto and amnual alerts, plus linking to their mobiles, plus a GPS to track if they wander off would be ideal. Costs aren’t too bad either at £100 plus £2 a week. Oh and its waterproof and apparently lasts 4 weeks between charges.

Worth trying to get social services involved in my experience and Age UK too. They will have loads of good ideas to help, including some moderate adaptations of the house. My mum had one round her neck and it became a life saver as she got older.

My mum agreed to get one when she fell over one evening and was stuck under the dining table until 9am the following morning when the postie heard her and called police to break in. After that happened she had no complaints about getting one!

MIL had a pendant and needed it a few times. Have a word with social services as he should get some care assistance.

I know Millbrook Healthcare provide the sort of things you’re after, no idea how they compare to other providers thought.

It could be worth contacting the local authority social care team, there might be assistive technology available. They should be able to help as it is in their best interests to keep your dad safe in his own home for as long as possible.

Pendant and pull cord, like a light cord set up in rooms. You pay a monthly fee. Have a Google round. I work on shower/disability adaptions and occasionally pull them by mistake and get a very fast response. Non slip flooring. If he has a normal shower get rid of it and get a shower room with non slip flooring and a fold down chair cost about £5/6K on our prices. Realistically he would be best off moving closer to you or looking at sheltered/ managed accommodation though I appreciate that people can find this hard to accept it’s best to make choices/changes before they’re forced on you. Best of luck.

As mentioned above, don’t forget the key safe so emergency services can get in (without the wait for someone with the big red key)

200 miles away – Time to sell up and move nearer to you

Not for someone who has been in the same place for many years. It can have a bad effect on lifespan as the upheaval removes them from all they know and the stress this brings on.

Mum had a paid for monitoring service that would call me if dad wasn’t about in her latter years. Pendant for her to wear and pull chords dotted around the house too if required.

All good recommendations about making the shower safe, my mother fell in hers , wet rooms are best. She demanded a bath when she moved in to her new house , which she has never used, the shower cubicle has a lip which she tripped over soon after my sister said she should have a wet room !! long story short we have got the pendant/ phone alert which has range into the garden from these people…..www.ppptakingcare.co.uk Good Luck

There are whole varieties of different types of security system. You can have pull cords in rooms, pendant alarms, smart watches etc etc All have advantages and disadvantages. The pedant you have to remember to wear. Watches have to be charged. Pull cords ( down to ground level) you still have to get to and be able to pull

My advice is a good long think about what type would be most practical. There will be a nursing / medical equipment suppliers somewhere near yo that will be able to advise. Other sources of advice are Occupational therapists if you can get an NHS referral for him for a assessment. speak to his GP

i would make sure he is on Social Services radar anyway

A social services OT assessment with you there would be a good call – so you can be involved in working out the best solution as any solution will affect your life too. Have come across families who inventively have put in a remote camera to keep an eye on a vulnerable relative. The dubious privacy bit aside they’ve also ended up compelled to keep checking it and even doing shifts to watch it ‘just in case’ – it’s had a massive detrimental impact on their lives.

We’ve a doro watch for the FIL. We use it mainly for tracking as he could easily wander off. It is however a fully fledged emergency communicator and mobile phone, if you want it to be. With one touch the wearer can either summon help via a central monitoring agency or call a pre-saved number, such as yours.

It uses a Bluetooth beacon while at home which will need connecting to Wi-fi. That means it only needs charging every 5-7 days. When it goes out of range of the beacon the built-in sim takes over and full GPS fires up.

They’re expensive and there’s a monthly fee, but they’re very good indeed. We particularly liked the fact it looks like a slightly chunky watch (I reckon they’re smaller than a Fenix).

<edit: I’m not sure it needs Wi-fi, I think it might report its position while at home via GPRS>

Just an update on this thread as it may help others. We tried the Buddi tag wristbands mentioned above but despite lots of positives and very good customer service had to return them. They were a pain to charge (and we had 2 with a dodgy na=battery that only lasted a day or so not the week advertised) and as they have to connect via phone didnt really work for my dad who would continually let the phone run flat – the tag then has to be manually reconnected.

Now trying the Suresafe Go plus wristband – much shorter battery life and over twice the cost but seems better suited for us so far – uses its own sim card so no need to connect to a phone, and as it talks it suits my dad better (he is nearly blind). Time will tell if this works better.

We decided agains the various pendant ones as my dad would take it off and forget to put it bac on again, which he doesnt with a watch (my mum can charge it every 2 days or so).

I’ve been through all this with my Mum and now my Dad. Once your Dad is on the radar of the various agencies then it gets easier. With my Mum it was the ambulance service that were the greatest help after months of us trying. An assessment by Occupational Health, usually through your doctor, of your Dad will help get all the right equipment in place, raised toilet seat, shower and bath aids and handles in the right places. A keysafe is a good idea and the ambulance service will keep the number on their system, the fire service will too. A pendant button is a good idea, when pressed the call centre talks back and if there’s no response then calls out the emergency services, these usually cost a few pounds to rent. Hope this helps, if you need more detail then direct message me.

+1 for getting local authorities involved. My FiL has all that gubbins including pendant/phone system and some minor home adaptations through the local council. He was resistant at first but once he found out it was free…..

My Mum has a fall and emergency monitor through local authority social care team. She had it following a stroke.

It’s got the speaker phone module that will be heard throughout her bungalow, it will also pick up her voice over the same distance. She’s also got a pedant and a watch monitor.

It’s about £12 per month from memory.