B****** has just wolfed down half a Lidl’s Tiger loaf that was sat on the Kitchen worktop waiting to be turned into my lunch. I thought he was quiet !!

Labrador?

Alsatian ?
Was at a mates and he had a kebab, massive it was, just about everything on it. He went to get a cuppa from the kitchen and stupidly left his meal on a dining chair. The dog,Alsatian, got the lot down in one gulp before I could move.
Mate arrives back and blames me for not being quick to stop his dog. 😆

Nah, he lives in Ottawa.

Mate arrives back and blames me for not being quick to stop his dog. 😆

That figures 😁

Nah, he lives in Ottawa.

🤗

Cockerpoo.

There is a rubber mat on the worktop , bread was sat at the back of said mat.
Using the little un’s foot stool, it got him high enough to spot the bread and allowed him to pull the mat towards him to get it. Got to admire his ingenuity really

My Grandads old Alsatian once opened the oven (on timer so hadn’t came on yet) and pulled out the huge beef roast. Carefully, without tearing a bit she unwrapped the tinfoil and scoffed the lot.

Our 70lb labxshep would regularly jump up onto the kitchen counter while we were out to get a snack. We assumed she was just pulling stuff off until we found the telltale pawprints!

A mates boxer ate a whole wheel of cheddar cheese they had in for Christmas.

Apparently it spent all Christmas under the table with the cheese sweats and whimpering 🙂

Sprocker #1 one managed to get a full tiger loaf down while we were out of the house. Ate the full thing. She was pretty sluggish for the rest of that day.

Sprocker #2 wolfed down the mesh netting left over from a roasting joint. Down in one piece – came out the other end neatly wrapped around her business. Also has a penchant for eating the toes off worn socks (fishes them out of the laundry basket). Again, they come out the other end intact. Pretty sure her digestive system is just an straight tube from one end to the other.

Friend’s GSD/rottie cross ate a luxury Christmas chocolate log and 12 deep filled mince pies (and the individual tinfoil cases)

It wasn’t pretty……

A mates boxer ate a whole wheel of cheddar cheese they had in for Christmas.

Apparently it spent all Christmas under the table with the cheese sweats and whimpering

Adam’s a friend of ours. Fitz is now sadly departed, but made a habit of helping himself to human food. But Sir David’s – surely that’s treason?

https://www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/1534693.dog-that-wolfed-sir-davids-cheese/

Many years ago, my childhood dog stole and then ate a medium-sized bar of Dairy Milk. We only realised when we found dog diarrhea with purple foil in it…

We now have a cat who will steal bacon or sausages…

Ex colleague of mine’s dog jumped up onto the cooker hob to get at a box of crisps that was sitting on there and managed to turn the gas on – burnt the house down!

Top tip – don’t leave combustible stuff on the hob, even if it is off!!!

Sprocker #2 wolfed down the mesh netting left over from a roasting joint. Down in one piece – came out the other end neatly wrapped around her business.

You were more fortunate than you realise. I lost a dog due to said joint wrapping catching internally and cutting open his intestine. He must have suffered for months prior to us discovering the problem, having him operated on and then put down as he couldn’t recover from the infection.

A mongrel terrier type dog we used to have, once chewed through the power lead for the freezer, tripping the electrics for all the plug sockets.
He was pretty subdued for the rest of the day.
**** brilliant dog though.
Easy to train, and great with other dogs/people/kids.

Labrador?

They do have form for sniffing out the 6 week old chicken carcass and wolfing the whole thing down in a matter of seconds.
Like a leftovers piranha.

We now have a cat who will steal bacon or sausages…

We had a cat that went through a chicken. Bit by bit as it defrosted.

Collies….

Left them unattended in the kitchen, they made cheese and tuna toasties.
First i knew about it was when they came thru to the living room with the toasties, jumped up On the sofa and changed the tv over to countryfile .

Top tip – don’t leave combustible stuff on the hob, even if it is off!!!

I found that out too, but not via a dog. Wired up a cooker for my son and his GF, left the instruction book on the hob. Toddler wandered into the kitchen and found a new thing with knobs on the front, turned the knobs, nothing happened that he was tall enough to see, wandered off again and 5 minutes later the book was on fire.

Our male greyhound once a whole loaf of seeded bread whilst I drive my wife to meet a friend. I was gone for 45 minutes. He was not a happy bunny when I got home! Bloated and grumbling for the evening. Lovely, seeded poo for a coyote of days!

However, that is nothing compared to Cookie. A female grey that we fostered. She, and our adopted female grey Sally, between them ate a decent amount of cable from a laptop charger! Cookie was definitely the instigator. She was a bit lively to say the least. Little bits of copper wire in both their poo for a couple of days. To stop Cookie eating unexpected things (we try to leave nothing seemingly edible out) we put a muzzle on her whilst we were out. We got in to find Cookie unmuzzled. Our first thought was that she’d slipped it off. Then we saw the two little straps. She had slipped it off. Then *****ng ate most of it! Luckily, after a trip to the vets who said it would probably be fine, she threw a bit of it up, and the rest passed through over three days. Cookie was mental! But gorgeous.

Bonnie – my labXshepherd, currently snoring beside me on the sofa – has done all the clichés. Side of salmon from the mother in law’s kitchen counter (lifetime ban hammer from her for that one), whole roast chicken from parents’ kitchen, various boxes of biscuits, loaves of bread, packets of pasta, chocolate bars from our kitchen. Excelled herself with a bowl of raw pizza dough (much panic because it can expand apparently) and recently a whole M&S caterpillar choccie cake (which strained the usually excellent relationship between her and my five year old). And she scarfed half a baguette sarnie whilst I was holding it!

Despite this litany of crime – and the fact that she is not at all sorry really (though she pretends to be at the time) and would do it all again  in a heartbeat given half the chance – she is an amazing dog. Clever, intuitive, affectionate, memory like an elephant. Wouldn’t change a thing about her. And other than something happening to my kids, the thing that scares me most is the inevitable day (she’s nearly nine now) when I return home to a joint of meat still sat on the counter, and no dog hiding at the top of the stairs, ears pinned to the side of her head, hoping the carpet will swallow her up..

The ultimate robber dogs are Beagles. We had one when I was very young and tales of his consumption are legendary. He would empty dustbins or anything he could access and vomit up the contents at your feet with great pride.
Our current neighbours have had three! The are bonkers. Each one has resulted in a step up in security. Child locks on the kitchen units, then when they mastered getting on the work surfaces the wall cupboards had to be secured. Tins would be punctured, bags destroyed and consumed. The current dog isn’t left alone in the house! They are lovely dogs with a great temperament apart from FOOD!!!!