Am I too strict?
No need to go bonkers. Explain to the boy that he’s effectively taken out a pay day loan at approx 5000%, interest is calculated daily of course. Then offset the pringles loan against his pocket money. Let him choose how much he wants to pay back, He’ll probably take the minimum amount of say 5p per week. Then when christmas comes around you can withhold all his presents as payment for the now outstanding loan which has grown to a couple of hundred quid.
There you go punishment and economics lesson in one.Posted 3 years agoTheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTRSubscriber
That’s 13yr olds for you.
My daughter generally asks, but it’s not unknown for her to treat herself.
Certainly wouldn’t have gone down the bonkers/thieving route.
If he’s scoffed them before his meal, then a stern word – then maybe suggest he earns the couple of quid over and above fetching a loaf.
I’m pretty lenient with our daughter though and she possibly gets away with too muchPosted 3 years agofr0sty125Member
I’m 23 so again I remember being that age quite well. I think you are right to be angry at the behaviour and to explain to him in strong terms that what he has done is unacceptable. I also think that it is the same as fraud or stealing, he spent money that was not his on something he didn’t have permission for. He has to realise at his age he has to start taking responsibility for actions.Posted 3 years agothegreatapeMember
It’s naughty, but not stealing. Different if he’s tried to conceal it from you, big trouble then for dishonesty. If it was the first time, I’d just be telling him its not on and keeping the Pringles, and give him an opportunity not to repeat. If he did it again having been told it’s not on, then there’d be a punishment of some sort. That would be mu take on it, but of course you know your lad and how obedient he usually is!
My lass helps herself to food, but she doesn’t go for junk food so we let her crack on with it. The boys, conversely, are not allowed to help themselves to the crisps and cakes.Posted 3 years agothestabiliserMember
Did you see the pringles, did he smell a bit ‘cidery’? Just thinking back to my teens.
Sounds like you went off on one a bit but the principles pretty basic and you know that he knows better so a stren word would be the appropriate response.
To the payment for getting the loaf of bread brigade – going to get a loaf of bread is pretty fair for having a roof over your head for 13 years.Posted 3 years ago
I think my issue is taking without asking. He is well rewarded for doing chores and had he asked beforehand I’d have most likely said yes. It’s the sense of entitlement and rudeness that gets me cross. It’s like a bloke who looks after the whip and regards the change as his, not major but really it is.Posted 3 years agorocketmanMember
The actual circumstances are not that important but it pays to show your offspring that you mean business once or twice in their life before they become too mature.
You’ve probably cared for them all their life like most parents do but I think it’s good for them to realise that there’s another side to youPosted 3 years ago
Sent my 13 year old son to the shop last night to buy a loaf of bread and gave him a tenner. He came back with the bread and said I bought some Pringles, he didn’t ask just helped himself. I went a bit bonkers and asked him when he’d be stealing from me next but the wife says I’m being overly strict. Personally I believe taking money without asking is a shitty thing to do and I’m sticking to my guns. I know it’s only a couple of quid but….My mum would have gone bananas if I’d just spent the change. Thoughts?/Advice, is this nothing and I’m just old fashioned??Posted 3 years agosingletrackmindMember
Did he buy the Pringles for you , and / or the family?
Or were they a treat for himself as a reward for going to the shop?
How far away is the shop 1/4 mile?? 1 mile?
So , Im not a Dad , but I would speak to him about it , explain why its wrong then leave it.Posted 3 years agodoogeMember
When I was a kid (Im in my late 20’s, just starting to forget!) I didnt do the same thing as we always had an au pair who would be with us. a bit posh maybe, but looking back I would have given anything to have my mum or dad tell me off and have the interaction.
At the same time I always had the utmost respect for my parents. These days, everything has slackened off, even from 15-20 years ago. You now need to sit him down and talk it out as he may not really know why. They dont just know why despite maybe telling him a thousand times. At the same time, kids will be kids.
and scientifically, they have proven that as teenagers brains develop they do not think about why, they just do. All down to the chemical mix.Posted 3 years agobinnersSubscriber
went a bit bonkers and asked him when he’d be stealing from me
I hope you pointed out that he’ll probably end up in prison, as someones bitch, and struggle with substance addiction, to numb the pain, as he sits in the corner of his cell, rocking back and too, weeping as he self-harms? For thats all his life is now likely to amount too
These things don’t grow on bloody trees. They’re 60p a bloody tube. I think its entirely proportionate that you went AWOL at him. Cheeky little sod is taking liberties thinking a packet of crisps might be a fair price to ensure you don’t have to get off your arse and go to the shop. He needs to be taught the error of his ways
I presume you’ve grounded him this weekend too?Posted 3 years agoavdave2Member
Too strict no, but the minute you got angry you lost all chance of changing the way he thinks. He’ll now just be piseed of and annoyed with you. How do you respond when someone calmly explains why they don’t like what you’ve done compared to when someone gets angry with you over it, which do you respond best to.Posted 3 years agodazhSubscriber
To the payment for getting the loaf of bread brigade – going to get a loaf of bread is pretty fair for having a roof over your head for 13 years.
I think if you’re going to require your kids to repay their upbringing, you should give them the choice as to whether they should be born first.Posted 3 years ago
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