A weird thought about buying a headstone…

  • This topic has 17 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by  headstoneshandmade-spam.
Viewing 18 posts - 1 through 18 (of 18 total)
  • A weird thought about buying a headstone…
  • I was just thinking today about headstones and was wondering whether anyone would actually purchase themselves one before they died? I saw the Simpsons episode last night where Patty and Selma had bought one for Homer and were using it as a makeshift coffee table until he died and for some reason started thinking about whether anyone would actually do this?

    I can’t really imagine that having a headstone in your living room would be much fun (or would make your guests feel welcome), but I can see why people would do it – you get to have whatever you want written on the plaque, you don’t feel like you’re being a burden to others, etc etc.

    What do you think?


    I think that’s a very morbid thought indeed for a Tuesday morning.

    I also think my corpse will be burned so will never have to consider anything so morbid in my life.

    Premier Icon wwaswas

    Read A Prayer for Owen Meany for (un)real gravestone spookiness.


    I know monumental mason and yes people do pick headstones before they die apparently, in fact go to any graveyard and you’ll see stones with space for additional names (usually husbands/wives). nowt wrong with being prepared I suppose….

    Premier Icon matt_outandabout

    I am not sure I need one. Scatter my ashes and plant a tree. But don’t put up a plaque or headstone or daft memorial bench

    Premier Icon kilo

    With regard to storage of your headstone, I was told you have to leave a long period of time, iirc a year before sticking the headstone in to allow the grave to collapse


    Ashes, matt?
    You ecological vandal you!!!

    Dig a hole and push me in. Feed the beetles with my gooey bits. Heavy metals and all 🙂

    Premier Icon bedmaker

    I’m already working on a large statue of myself. I’m putting it on top of Sgurr Fhuaran. I probably won’t even wait till I’m dead tbh as it’s gonna be so ace 🙂


    Dig a hole and push me in. Feed the beetles with my gooey bits. Heavy metals and all

    Hole? Just chuck my body on the mountainside, let the vultures, crows and foxes feast on my flesh.

    Premier Icon epicyclo

    bedmaker – Member
    I’m already working on a large statue of myself. I’m putting it on top of Sgurr Fhuaran…

    Hope it’s going to be bigger than the Duke’s…

    Premier Icon slackalice

    Spike Milligan had it right and requested that his headstone to bear the inscription: “See, I told you I was ill”


    Unfortunately, his remaining family don’t share his sense of humour and last I heard, they had not allowed the headstone to be put up.


    A freind of mine asked me to make her a coffin, in front of her kids, they just looked shocked,she said she was going to keep it in the attic till required and use it to store stuff in.

    Makes perfect sence, they also make good bookcases, so absolutely nothing wrong with a headstone, justy dont enter a date for the death though.

    Premier Icon Caher

    Just bought the book mentioned in the thread, A Prayer For Owen Meany, cheaper than a headstone methinks.


    My mum’s had an ecologically friendly recycled cardboard coffin in the attic since we were kids

    My gran had two cousins in Germany. We went to see them once (about 20 years ago) and for some reason we were shown where they were going to be buried. The headstone already had their names on it 😕


    Spend the money on a bike.

    When you’re dead you’re not going to be able to read your headstone anyway.


    A friend (who I have sadly fell out of touch with), and I agreed that should the other die first, the remaining individual would have to get drunk, go to the graveyard and carve, ‘better to burn out than to fade away’ into whatever headstone was erected.

    The stuff you think of when you’re teenagers.

    Obviously now I’m a grown up my feelings are far more mature.

    (You’ll have already read this if you get the outcast)

    If I die, I would like to be stuffed full of sweets and hung from a tree while a group of children are given large sticks with barbed wire wrapped round the end. Pinata!!!

    “Look mummy, I hit him right up the crack!”

    Once my skin has been split and I have dispensed my final load I’d recommend my rotting body is either thrown in a skip or dried out and used to provide fuel to old people who can’t afford to heat their homes.


    I remember one lad on the internet came up with a much better idea than me. When he died he wanted a large robot to be inserted in his body so he could walk down the road to his own grave. He would wave at people while he was doing so. Once he got to the grave he would climb into the box, pull the lid on and shout to the grave diggers to ‘lower me in guys’.

    If they banged the box while it was being lowered the robot would shout ‘hey, watch it! Where did you go to grave diggers school?’

    I wish I’d had that idea.

Viewing 18 posts - 1 through 18 (of 18 total)

The topic ‘A weird thought about buying a headstone…’ is closed to new replies.