1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one, like how 21 is pronounced twenty one?

12. ‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?

14. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?

16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

17. No one ever says, ‘It’s only a game’ when their team is winning.

18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two dollars on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:

19. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

20. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

I’m not on facebook to avoid this sort of stuff.

Edit: Actually, now I feel like a dick. OP probably just posted this for a bit of fun, and now is taking pelters. Sorry, OP. For future reference these copy and pasta lists are a bit low powered/chainy. I sometimes forget now everyone is online 24/7, so this sort of thing may be new to them.

^^

Smoking section in a restaurant? 1985 is on the phone, it wants its chain jokes back.

As my Grandad used to say : Its an early bath for you my Lad !

*hide post*

Click on this link to see 20 incredible things that will make you cry angrily while you fap bloody tears of ecstatic incredulity.

Just had it sent by email but if you lot have your grumpy heads on I can easily remove it

Well, some of those are pretty old, but I enjoyed that.

I’m not on facebook to avoid this sort of stuff.

What are you on Facebook for, then?

U OK HUN? XxxXXx

What are you on Facebook for, then?

Dank memes.

Like this one:

U OK HUN? XxxXXx

Well, at least you don’t write “poetry”!

What’s wrong with the number 15?

memes are cool. Imgur front page rules.

Well, at least you don’t write “poetry”!

+1

What’s wrong with the number 15?

What was put for #15 will amaze you!

4 – ungruntled surely

Jamie – Member
…future reference these copy and pasta lists

Please post a list of pastas. I love pasta, wouldnt mind trying a new dish. What social media are associated with which lists pasta dishes, can you invite me?

Try Faceboccoli or Instagramigna.

4 – ungruntled surely

Moreover, why can you be disgruntled but never gruntled?

Please post a list of pastas. I love pasta, wouldnt mind trying a new dish. What social media are associated with which lists pasta dishes, can you invite me?

The penne is mightier than the sword?

I remember the first time I saw this list . . . It was a nice break from working on the Y2K stuff.

Try Faceboccoli or Instagramigna.

….where you can tagliatelle people you know in photographs

You would never want to be gruntled in public unless you are some kind of pervert

Very good pasta quips. I nearly Spatzle’d out a mouthful of mince pie.

You can be ‘gruntled’ – it means to grunt. But ‘dis-’ doesn’t always mean ‘un-’ in english. We’ve mixed and matched our language from lots of sources and in this case the ‘dis’ comes from a language tradition where it’s an intensifier – ‘particularly grunty’ rather ungrunty.

Very good pasta quips

Help me pick my next carbonara.

Now i have to say i prefer the term particularly grunty than disgruntled

Help me pick my next carbonara.

Vauxhall Cavatelli?

Help me pick my next carbonara.

Toyota Ravioli 4?

Toyota pillus?

Macaroni ghibli

Toyota pillus

Fiat bruschetta.

Were kidding ourselves here.

We know he really wants the Audi Quattro Formaggio

As long as it has a good radiatorii

Well, some of those are pretty old, but I enjoyed that.

The old ones are always the oldest…

I have a car made from spaghetti.
My wife didn’t believe me until I drove pasta.