I’m running 8,9 and 10 speed (across 3 bikes) all mostly XT (but a few bits of XTR and SLX). I never found much difference between 8 and 9 speed, if anything I always found the quality of the 8 speed kit was better than 9 speed (more aluminium less plastic!).
However I’m finding 10 speed to be noticeably better than the other two. I think it suits my riding style more. I rarely stand on my peddles to push up a hill, much preferring to spin up the hills. So the extra gears really help with keeping a steady cadence.
Also I do find myself using the front ring more, as in the granny ring you can shift much further up the rear cassette without the kind of problems I had with 8/9 speed doing the same. So on the really steep stuff again it suits my riding style.
So for me personally a 3×10 set up is a good step forward. With a traditional 3×8 being my runner up.
For what it is worth we have 10 fingers so 10 gears kinda makes sense 🙂