I'm sat outside a local MOT place waiting for my colleague who is dropping his car here to turn give him a lift to work.
He's just sent me a text message to say he'll be 5 minutes late, well we're already nearly 10 past our arranged time.
I don't even like the bloke that much, I'm tempted to just **** off so I'm not late in. 🤬
First world problems, I know. Weave me tales of your annoying colleagues to improve my temper.
just tell them to get lost and sort their own thin
I should have done when he asked, but that's not really my style. Could have ridden my bike in too today as the weather is lovely, that won't help improve my mood!
Don't get angry.. you know they don't value your time or effort now, so lesson learned.. No more favours for them?
are you giving him a lift back this evening?
Got any errands you could run on the way?
are you giving him a lift back this evening?
He's not asked yet...
oooh...this has potential... 🤣
Drives me mad when people are late. And the type of person who's late is usually ALWAYS late. Its telling you that your time is of no consequence to them
Give him the Bobby Robson quote for when players were late for training (which meant they would be immediately dropped for the next match and fined)....
"To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late and to be late is totally unacceptable!"
Be more German there's; early, on time and late. There is no "only a little late". No you're late.
He's in the MOT place, its taking 5 or so minutes than planned and you're surprised?
You work from home normally?
I've cut several friends loose over this, over the years...
I honestly don't mind at all if someone is late for a decent reason, or even if they tell me they will be late by 30 mins and invent a reason... as long as I know...when you actually intend on arriving.
I find it highly offensive to be stood around like a lemon though.. I absolutley don't and won't tollerate flakiness of that kind.
For me it's a simple matter of a total lack of respect for other peoples time.
Too busy doing your hair or having an existential crisis? no problem... but let me know!
Drives me mad when people are late. And the type of person who's late is usually ALWAYS late. Its telling you that your time is of no consequence to them
Not always. Some people are just not fussed about exact timings and timings are always just estimates.
I hate being late and like the OP it’s really annoying when you make arrangements as a favour and they take a relaxed approach to time. It can also be very annoying if people are very early so I try and moderate my desire to be prompt. I once offered a lift to a guy I didn’t really like who was going to be dropped off by his wife at 7.30 am to take him to work with me. My partner got a fright when she opened the kitchen curtains at 6.50 am to find him peering in at her from the back garden….
I’ve recently gone back to the office and there’s a new guy on the other side of the partition who’s a keen gravelista. He heard about my commute and asked if I could show him the ‘secret’ tunnel under the motorway to get to an area he’s never been to. He said he’d ride into work and do a long (60km) commute home via my route (30km).
I typically ride this stuff at recovery pace on my HT in MTB gear, but he’s in Lycra on a gravel bike so of course it means we’re going 2kmph faster than my normal average.
We’ve done it twice now and Strava tells me I’m pushing way harder than usual. I’m going to have to start making excuses to avoid having to go so fast all the time 🤣
I've cut several friends loose over this, over the years...
I honestly don't mind at all if someone is late for a decent reason, or even if they tell me they will be late by 30 mins and invent a reason... as long as I know...
I find it highly offensive to be stood around like a lemon though.. I absolutley don't and won't tollerate flakiness of that kind.
For me it's a simple matter of a total lack of respect for other peoples time.
Too busy doing your hair or having an existentiall crisis? no problem... but let me know!
Write him an MoT fail complete with advisories
Write him an MoT fail complete with advisories
A fake one, failing him for poor time keeping sounds like an excellent use of AI computing power. 😁
The upside is that you now have a solid gold excuse for not giving him a lift again.
We used to ride with a person who phone up when already late and say they were five minutes away.
This meant that they had just left home.
They would eventually turn up very late.
One day we got the five minutes phone call and just went riding without them.
Anybody can be late given traffic etc but when it’s regular it’s just plain rude.
Some people are just not fussed about exact timings and timings are always just estimates.
Which would make you think they are often early too... bet they're not
Drives me mad when people are late. And the type of person who's late is usually ALWAYS late. Its telling you that your time is of no consequence to them
Not always. Some people are just not fussed about exact timings and timings are always just estimates.
Sure if you agree to meet for a pint at 6, and if you rock up at 6:15 not a problem, I don't care. But if it comes to 7 and you've not bothered to let me know... that's basically friendship over.
Some people are just not fussed about exact timings and timings are always just estimates.
And that's fine if that's your thing, but I'm certainly not going to be committing any of my time to anyone with that mindset. I doubt many other people would do either, at least not more than once
I doubt many other people would do either, at least not more than once
my best mate is someone who tells you he'll be round in 20 minutes and turns up an hour and a half later. It's mildly annoying but he's been a mate since forever, I'm not going to be standing there with a clipboard tapping my watch, I can get on with other stuff
We used to ride with a person who phone up when already late and say they were five minutes away.
This meant that they had just left home.
They would eventually turn up very late.
One day we got the five minutes phone call and just went riding without them.
Anybody can be late given traffic etc but when it’s regular it’s just plain rude.
This is hora.
I doubt many other people would do either, at least not more than once
my best mate is someone who tells you he'll be round in 20 minutes and turns up an hour and a half later. It's mildly annoying but he's been a mate since forever, I'm not going to be standing there with a clipboard tapping my watch, I can get on with other stuff
I have family members like that.
The issue however is that it continues to be a pain the arse.
Things like pick up time when we childmind can extend a couple of hours, right across when we would be preparing or even eating an evening meal. It can mean that when family gatherings happen we have all sat and had breakfast in the agreed cafe at the agreed time, and are all heading out for a walk when they rock up and ask everyone to wait so they can have breakfast. Travel is almost impossible, and when public transport is used it can often end up with a phone call to rescue them as they missed the last bus.
I find it deeply disrespectful and difficult to deal with.
This is hora.
If you were lucky. There's always just as much chance of a complete no-show, with no explanation given.
That'll be the reason I've not seen him for years. You only put up with it for so long before you cut your losses
We've discussed this before, but I have a literal approach to time. You tell me to meet at 7, I'll be there at 6:59. If you want me to be 15 minutes early then don't tell me 7, tell me 6:45 rather than expecting scheduling via crystal ball. I have a reputation for being late but it's unjustified, I cut it fine but I'm never late. If you've got nothing better to do than stand around waiting because you've rocked up quarter of an hour early then that's your own lookout I'm afraid. I have friends who I swear do this deliberately, I arrive exactly on time and then they fanny about for ten minutes knowing full well I'll cop the blame for it at the other end.
My partner is the diametric opposite. Her logic is "well, this will take 15 minutes, so I'll allow half an hour..." at every step of the journey so left to her own devices she could be a day early for a haircut. Going somewhere, she'll be downstairs with her coat on whilst I'm in my underpants thinking I should probably start getting washed in a minute. We probably both make each other worse.
A former girlfriend's dad was ex military (US Army), his favourite mantra was "if you're not ten minutes early, you're late." Well if you're ten minutes early then you're a pain in the ass because I won't be ready for you, and you're going to be standing there like a **** for nine of them.
I think fundamentally I have a pathological hatred for waiting. It's such a monumental waste of time.
Cougar - I love you dearly, but if I was married to you I'd have murdered you by now. That would drive me mad.
One of the reasons myself and Mrs Binners get on so well is that we're both the 15-minutes-early (possibly 30 for important stuff) types you've just described. Its because there's no way either of us can cope with the anxiety-inducing thought of not having at least a 15 minute buffer for potential issues... meteor strikes, plagues of locusts, alien invasions, plane crashes, that kind of thing
My partner is the diametric opposite. Her logic is "well, this will take 15 minutes, so I'll allow half an hour..." at every step of the journey so left to her own devices she could be a day early for a haircut.
My wife is like this. We ride/rode with a guy who is pathologically late for everything, makes it part of his personality and laughs about it. Yet my wife still insisted on being early. I’ve spent countless hours in trailcentre car parks being caught int the middle of these fun personality quirks.
I once didn't get a job because I turned up early - it was pissing down and I was on public transport so just came into the office to keep dry and said to the receptionist I know I'm half an hour early can I just sit in the corner - but she called the guy who was interviewing who started with a speech about how if I worked for them I couldn't be inconsiderate and turn up early, and how important HIS time was.
Since then, I've been much more likely to be late! For anyone who wastes their time posting on here to rant about the value of time is ironic!
Part of my job is meeting people on site, waiting around for them to show up is par for the couse, so I shrug it off, but do it to me twice & that's the end of any give & take on that job, plus I do a very good "being shirty with people"
The upside is that you now have a solid gold excuse for not giving him a lift again.
He already had one - "Sorry I'm riding in" - no-one would ask me for a lift cos they know I ride in. Plus I'm a **** so they know I would say no anyway 🤣
You do know not being on time is very much a trait of someone having ADHD ? My son does it. Be here between 1pm and 2pm. Give him an hour. Nope, arrives at 3pm. The rest of us in the house are usually early, just in case. Son, nope I can get there by X time - leaves at 10 minutes to X, and it's 10 miles away.
Be more German there's; early, on time and late. There is no "only a little late". No you're late.
Be less German, their trains are never punctual!
My wife is like this. We ride/rode with a guy who is pathologically late for everything, makes it part of his personality and laughs about it. Yet my wife still insisted on being early. I’ve spent countless hours in trailcentre car parks being caught int the middle of these fun personality quirks.
The mistake you're making here is pandering to this shit. Clocks exist, don't be one of those knuckles who sets their clocks 8 minutes fast like it makes the blindest bit of difference to anything when you know it's 8 minutes fast. You can't make a towel longer by cutting three inches off the bottom to stitch it back onto the top.
One of the reasons myself and Mrs Binners get on so well is that we're both the 15-minutes-early (possibly 30 for important stuff) types you've just described. Its because there's no way either of us can cope with the anxiety-inducing thought of not having at least a 15 minute buffer for potential issues... meteor strikes, plagues of locusts, alien invasions, plane crashes, that kind of thing
But that's the thing, if there's a likelihood of a zombie uprising then I'll factor that in. I don't naively think "oh it's only 15 minutes away" and then get stuck in traffic. I'm not late, I'm just not standing in a car park for half an hour either.
In Tom's example above, if we're meeting at 7 and Perpetually Late Steve™ arrives at 7:05 then he'll just have to catch us up. If I arrived at 7:05 without any form of communication that there was a delay then I would fully expect the others to have left without me.
And that's fine if that's your thing, but I'm certainly not going to be committing any of my time to anyone with that mindset.
I have a feeling they would get over it.
I have colleagues that are always later. Some of them are late because they are always busy and people forgive them for being late because they do more than their fair share of everything. Others are late because they can’t get their shit together. That annoys people until sometimes they find out what they are dealing with in their lives… which can sometimes be serious stuff that puts being on time/late into perspective.
Some colleagues are always on time… but then sit in meetings and don’t say anything and that annoys others more than the ones that are late but contribute and offer to do stuff.
I try to be on time and mostly am… but it’s not something that comes naturally to me and sometimes stuff happens. Planning complex journeys ( I try not to use a car for work wherever possible) and having lots of work and other commitments means that sometimes I am late.
I used to live and work in the Dominican Republic, a place where there was a different concept of time and being on time or late. I quite liked it.
I used to give a guy a lift to work - he didnt drive. 112 mile round trip, 5 days a week.
He lived pretty close to me, so i would turn up in the morning and he would see the car and come out.
First time he didnt come out. I went to his door and he'd slept in - late for work.
2nd time, i told him if he isnt out with 5 mins of me arriving, Im leaving without him, He thought i was over reacting.
third time, he had to phone in and take a days holiday.
A former girlfriend's dad was ex military (US Army), his favourite mantra was "if you're not ten minutes early, you're late." Well if you're ten minutes early then you're a pain in the ass because I won't be ready for you, and you're going to be standing there like a **** for nine of them.
I would much rather be early for something and spend 10 minutes waiting than running around late and stressing.
I can sit in an airport for 2hrs quite happily. A friend of mine is the opposite; her idea of airport times is arriving as the plane starts taxiing. We do not travel well together at all.
On the subject of timekeeping one of the shitty jobs I did before retirement was for Sainsbury's. Interviewer said " As long as you turn up on time you'll be fine"
I was puzzled, she said I take it you haven't been for an interview in a while , most applicants we see now take the start time just as a guide , 8 am is maybe an aspiration not necessarily fixed , 5 or 10 minutes after is acceptable ( to them) 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Some people are just not fussed about exact timings and timings are always just estimates.
Those people are either children (forgivable) or immature and selfish adults with no concern for others.
Has his car passed it's MOT!?
Yes. I use the same garage, they seem quite reluctant to fail anything!
Have you taken him to pick it up!?
As expected he came to ask 1 minute before he had to leave to pick it up. I don't know who gave him a lift, because it wasn't me! And the fat knacker certainly wouldn't have run round the corner.
I have a feeling they would get over it.
Given their lazy and selfish lack of consideration in keeping other people waiting around for them, I’d imagine they, like… let most things slide…. maaaaan, yeah? ✌️
He's in the MOT place, its taking 5 or so minutes than planned and you're surprised?
You work from home normally?
Having just read the original post, the OP is sat outside the MoT building, waiting for the colleague to arrive, who’s already 10 minutes late, and likely to be a further 5 minutes late, if not more.
Should go to Specsavers…
So not a colleague thing but how about this for a total lack of consideration.
A bit of back ground. Mrs Ampthill use to run a dog walking business. Eventually she bought 20 tags with her name and number so that every dog in her care had her number. Dogs she looked after every week tended to have to tags left on.
Today she got the “Your dogs in my back garden call”. “No, that’s a dog that i use to look after, 3 years ago!” . She phoned the dogs owner to let her know where dog was and reminded her to remove the tag. She politely pointed out that exactly the same thing happened a year ago, but at 3 in the morning!”
Ah... I married into a family who (mostly) don't do "on time". If anyone remembers the mandatory holiday t-shirt thread, it's that lot.
One of my brothers in law was late to his own birthday party by 2 hours. Fair enough, his journey was the longest, but en route he actually passed the homes of three other guests, two of them elderly, all of them travelling the same railway line, and all of whom turned up 10 mins early.
We ate without him 😁
I do think MS Teams means people don't keep an eye on their diary these days. They just wait for the notification to pop up and login. Which makes them late. I WFH now, but a pet hate was people who decide that a meeting cannot be shorter than planned, making them (and everyone else) late.
Whilst foreman at a marquee firm people soon learnt that being late meant they would turn up to a yard with all the vehicles gone and if they wanted paying there was a mountain of carpet to clean.
Was a hard cut off, once wheels were moving they were obsolete and we wouldn't even stop if they drove into the yard as we drove out. Days were long enough without time wasters.
Not totally heartless though, would pick staff up from police cells if they managed to get taken to a station on our route and we could get them out.
I'm always on time.
We had a new person start where I worked and Itold him how easy it was to cycle to the station, put bike on train and cycle at the other end. I said I'd do it with him and arranged a time.
He was late. His former job was sargeant major in the army.
I have never felt so diappointed in anyone.
You do know not being on time is very much a trait of someone having ADHD ? My son does it. Be here between 1pm and 2pm. Give him an hour. Nope, arrives at 3pm. The rest of us in the house are usually early, just in case. Son, nope I can get there by X time - leaves at 10 minutes to X, and it's 10 miles away.
This. Some of us try really, really hard to be on time for stuff but it just never works out
ADHD is something an employer or manager needs to be aware of especially if someone is regularly late. We just ask people to do their hours. Can be an issue with meetings.
I've seen it in colleagues and my own son.
You folk sound like no fun at all.
It’s no fun getting into an airport early to catch a plane. I’ve on occasion sprinted through security and up to the gate five minutes after takeoff time and still made it.
Why should I bother being early?
Why? To post a photo on Instagram of your lukewarm, hideously overpriced departure lounge pint of Stella, obvs!!!
You folk sound like no fun at all.
It’s no fun getting into an airport early to catch a plane. I’ve on occasion sprinted through security and up to the gate five minutes after takeoff time and still made it.
Why should I bother being early?
Reminds me of the time a potential client asked to meet my boss and I to talk about some prospective work (raising a 'red mud' tailings dam). He specified a cafe to meet at. No problemo. Morning of the meeting we looked it up to see where it was. Turned out it was 540km north of our office (he'd assumed we weren't at our head office, we'd assumed he was at his head office).
Some time later we flew up to do a site visit (having won some work with him). Turned up and HE wasn't even working there. Not to worry, his 2IC showed us around. Then we had hours to kill before the flight home in a very boring place. Fortunately at some point in these "hours" we double-checked the departure time and then proceeded to run to security (where of course they made us take off shoes and belts) and just make it to the plane.
Some people are just not fussed about exact timings and timings are always just estimates.
Which would make you think they are often early too... bet they're not
I had this conversation with a perpetually late friend who seemed satisfied that 'about 7' was a time. Well that could mean 6:50 or 7:10, alternatively 6:45 or 7:15. So on average 'about 7' is '7'.
"About 7" is not 7. "7" is 7. If you / your friend (which way round is this, it's not clear?) were to say to me "meet about 7" I would hear "exact timing is unimportant." I'd go to a house party for "about 7," might be nearer 8, what difference does it make to anyone else? It's not like it's going anywhere. Whereas if we were planning to meet to go out or something then "about 7" would be bloody stupid and I'd hate to keep people waiting for me. Unless they turn up half an hour early of course, then that's their own silly fault.
How hard is it to just say what you mean rather than playing euphemistic guessing games? I hear what you actually tell me, I don't know (and to be honest, I don't care) what you thought you might have intended. You want me there at 7 then just say so and I absolutely will be there on time 100% with bells on; you tell me "about 7" and I'm batting for "some time before tomorrow."
I'd much rather be be early.. Airport.. Not the end of the world to drink a pint or two and not have to rush.
And the price of beer these days... The airports are missing a trick.. I think the Manchester blonde is 7 at Manchester Airport... My tipple in my local is 6 quid a pop so it's not really a consideration for me.
And if you get a flat tyre or the shuttle bus has an issue etc etc... I don't need the stress.
Funny story, we used to have a regular poker game.. Just a friendly social thing as one particular person was always late.. Like an hour plus late and would turn up expecting to buy in..
We eventually started telling her the game is starting an hour earlier than planned and she still manages to be late all the time.
It wasn't an open table... We'd all put a fiver or a tenner into the pot depending on whether people were a bit skint or not.. and got the same amount of chips, once you've lost your chips your out. Nice and simple.
Yet they would rock up half way through a game and expect to buy in..
I lost my shit one time, as this happened pretty much every game, so I took my tenner back out of the kitty and put my remaining chips in the middle of the table as a gift to whoever won the next round, basically did a mic drop.
Apparently that was contriversial according to them... Yeah whatever you tardy time waster!
Funny story, we used to have a regular poker game.. Just a friendly social thing as one particular person was always late.. Like an hour plus late and would turn up expecting to buy in..
We eventually started telling her the game is starting an hour earlier than planned and she still manages to be late all the time.
My Mum does this with a friend. They used to go to concerts, the theatre etc every once in a while. Not really the sort of thing you could be late for. My Mum would do all the arranging, book the tickets, sort the travel and say "be at mine for 6pm".
6pm, she'd get a phone call from her friend to say that she was just getting ready - this usually meant a bath, dry her hair, makeup, drive over. After about the third show they either only just made or missed the start of, my Mum started giving ever earlier times to meet and she'd still manage to be late.
It's so disrespectful.
Funny story, we used to have a regular poker game.. Just a friendly social thing as one particular person was always late.. Like an hour plus late and would turn up expecting to buy in..
We eventually started telling her the game is starting an hour earlier than planned and she still manages to be late all the time.My Mum does this with a friend. They used to go to concerts, the theatre etc every once in a while. Not really the sort of thing you could be late for. My Mum would do all the arranging, book the tickets, sort the travel and say "be at mine for 6pm".
6pm, she'd get a phone call from her friend to say that she was just getting ready - this usually meant a bath, dry her hair, makeup, drive over. After about the third show they either only just made or missed the start of, my Mum started giving ever earlier times to meet and she'd still manage to be late.
It's so disrespectful.
That's the most insulting thing.. It's not just them being ****less, I can cope with that, it's really not a problem.. it's that they expect to be accommodated by others because they simply expect special treatment and expect others to put things on hold for them.
Side note.. Apparently **** less is a swear word now, lol
F e c k l e s s
you ****less monster
loving Cougar's work on this thread.
My Mum would do all the arranging, book the tickets, sort the travel and say "be at mine for 6pm".
And that's the mistake. How about instead, "We're leaving at 6pm"? It's 6:05 and everyone has left, well then, are we learning yet? Trains don't see you sprinting down the platform, they piss off without you.
I swear to god people are just making all of this avoidably difficult due to a reluctance to get to the point. Either that or I'm a higher-functioning sociopath and have the opposite problem. 😁
Aside, that Father Ted "... is now a swear word" has been so for a very long time, that harkens back to Fred days.
What's the phrase... fool me once, shame on you, fool me ten times, I'm a massive fool and it's a 'me problem' for putting up with it.
Somewhere inbetween those two points is a pivot point from... "oh they are late again, never mind', to "why am I wasting my time".
Actually,
I appreciate that I'm almost certainly not neurotypical, but I genuinely sincerely do not understand why this is challenging for anyone as a concept. Perhaps this is on me.
But time is absolute. It's numbers. If you say "be at mine for 7" then there's no ambiguity to be had there, it's really clear what is being requested.
If I say "be at mine for 7" and you arrive at 6:30, I'll be in my pants scrabbling for a dressing gown and wondering how I'm going to entertain you for half an hour; if you say "be at mine for 7" and I rock up at 6:30, I'll have brought my Kindle and snacks and I'll probably sit in the car for 28 minutes before ringing the doorbell.
Actually,
I appreciate that I'm almost certainly not neurotypical, but I genuinely sincerely do not understand why this is challenging for anyone as a concept. Perhaps this is on me.
But time is absolute. It's numbers. If you say "be at mine for 7" then there's no ambiguity to be had there, it's really clear what is being requested.
If I say "be at mine for 7" and you arrive at 6:30, I'll be in my pants scrabbling for a dressing gown and wondering how I'm going to entertain you for half an hour; if you say "be at mine for 7" and I rock up at 6:30, I'll have brought my Kindle and snacks and I'll probably sit in the car for 28 minutes before ringing the doorbell.
I agree.. too many people say 'oh I've got ADHD' or oh, 'I'm mildly autistic' and I think that is a real punch in the face for people who genuinley do have such afflictions.
(IMO) 99% of the time It's simply a case of a lack of respect for other peoples time and effort.
As I say.. a few times, let it slide... but if it's consitent, then you're just being taken for a mug, maybe they should like, buy a watch or something.
Just to clarify before I get flamed alive...
If you know you have an appointment at 11, that means you should know that you should be getting ready at 10, or even earlier if you are relying on public transport.
If you only bother to start getting ready at 11, for a meeting at 11, then I'm sorry but you're not disabled, you're just a ****.
Don't get angry.. you know they don't value your time or effort now, so lesson learned.. No more favours for them?
This
Erm well.
Haven’t go time to reply here I’m running late for a meeting I don’t want to chair.
I fall into the same category as Cougar's wife I think, although maybe not soooo much. On-time is good, 5 minutes early (because if you are not five minutes early you are late) is better. Worst case, I can take my time leaving my van, or I can grab a coffee on the way to the meeting.
When it comes to travelling though, I always calculate backwards from the arrival time and pad slightly. More important if it is air travel due to the fsckery that security brings. If I get through with less hassle, fine. I'll have a coffee and read a paper or book for an hour, but I've done my share of having to go through security at the last minute and then sprint the length of the terminal to catch a plane and, quite frankly, no. Missing planes is also a royal PITA and, these days, really expensive.
But time is absolute. It's numbers. If you say "be at mine for 7" then there's no ambiguity to be had there, it's really clear what is being requested.
Perhaps you are conflating precision and accuracy?
if you want people to be precise you may find it helps to actually pick a non round number - be at mine at 6.55 sends a message that is much clearer, similarly if you don’t want people turning up when still in your pants 7.05
im amazed that some of you have repeat offenders in your life and get wound up by it - we literally tell my SIL a different time from everyone else because she works in her own time zone.
I have family that consider the appointed hour as about the time to consider getting ready. But it's family, what do you do other than tell them to meet 30 mins earlier.
What does boil my piss is being lied to. Because i know where they live, I know where we're meeting, and there's this thing called 'Maps' that enables me to look up how long that takes in real actual right now terms. So when they arrive 30 mins late and give it the 'ah the traffic through town was terrible'..... of course, I just swallow the fact that I know what it's like and then quietly seethe to strangers on the internet.
The 'At', 'About', 'Around' thing. Again, I'm not claiming ADHD or Autism but they do have specific meanings to me. Which is why I got into a ridiculous 'row' (relatively good natured but I wasn't backing down) on a work course, where we'd been told to split into break out groups, consider a problem / question and come up with (and I quote because it's really ****ing important) - '6-8 things to take back to the office we can improve to address this'.
So I'm now having a blazing row because we've got 10 ideas and we need to drop two to meet the brief. Eventually trainer comes over to see what the finger jabbing is about and tells us that although they said 6-8, 10 is fine. Red Rag. So why did you say 6-8 which specifically means 6, 7, or 8 are the only acceptable numbers. If 10 was ok why didn't you say 6-10? Or around 8ish? If you told me to recruit 6 people to deliver a project and I turned up with 9 would you just 'meh' it?
Lastly - when it comes to people being late I am careful until I know why having got burnt in the past. As captain of the cricket club, we had a relatively strict arrival time, 45 mins before start, to enable some prep/warmup and ensure people's heads were on right rather than scabbling to put kit on still as the umpires cross the rope. But one day at an away game we are 3 short at the toss, all travelling together, days before mobiles so no means of calling them, and I'm seething because either way, it's 2 of our top 4 batting line up or we're going to be asked to field with 3 big gaps in the field. I'm venting to all and sundry about letting people down and dropping them next game and.... they'd been in a big crash on the M4 and now in the backs of ambulances on the way to Wexham Park. I learned a lesson that day.
I agree.. too many people say 'oh I've got ADHD' or oh, 'I'm mildly autistic' and I think that is a real punch in the face for people who genuinley do have such afflictions.
yup
i have those traits in both adhd and autusm but i do not have the actual condition. its also never an excuse.
The 'At', 'About', 'Around' thing. Again, I'm not claiming ADHD or Autism but they do have specific meanings to me.perhaps though they mean different things to different people - even a dictionary won't really clarify who is right - see "literally" as an example, assuming that your meaning is the one others use is just a route to getting yourself worked up.
Potentially he was trying to de-escalate your conflict, had you calmly presented him with 10, he might well have asked "could you try to prioritise your top 6". But equally I suspect you might struggle with the phrase "rules are made to be broken" and might have become fixated on the specifics of the task rather than the purpose of the task. Having been that facilitator, its also quite likely he was internally going "oh FFS, this session is already over running, and its eating into coffee/lunch".Which is why I got into a ridiculous 'row' (relatively good natured but I wasn't backing down) ... So why did you say 6-8 which specifically means 6, 7, or 8 are the only acceptable numbers.
I'd much rather be be early.. Airport.. Not the end of the world to drink a pint or two and not have to rush.
And the price of beer these days... The airports are missing a trick.. I think the Manchester blonde is 7 at Manchester Airport... My tipple in my local is 6 quid a pop so it's not really a consideration for me.And if you get a flat tyre or the shuttle bus has an issue etc etc... I don't need the stress.
My sister was flying out to Italy with her very autistic son to meet me, so we could visit our severely ill father before a major operation.
Missed her flight. She got an alternative to a different airport. She is completely skint, can't afford a hotel. I drove a 4 hours round trip to pick her up, mainly because I knew how stressed my nephew would be. Barely got a thank you. Extremely defensive when I suggested she had messed up her timings, hadn't set off on time and in future should let her son plan travel timings for her (maybe a shouldn't have said the last bit). This is completely typical behaviour.
To top it off I got a 200 euro speeding ticket a couple of months later as I was driving unfamiliar roads late at night in a foul mood.
I really didn't need that stress.
When it comes to travelling though, I always calculate backwards from the arrival time and pad slightly.
So do I, but the devil here is that I don't do it at every step multiple times over. She'll go "it'll take ten minutes to get into the car (it really won't) so I'll allow 20... the journey is half an hour's drive so I'll allow an hour... I might need a piss so that's another 15 minutes... " and suddenly she's helicoptering an hour before I need to start to even think about getting ready to leave.
I can get washed, dressed and be in the car with the engine running having leisurely made a coffee in passing inside of ten minutes, I don't need to factor in an hour of slack to go to the hairdressers a 15 minute drive away.
If she sorted out her own shit instead of worrying after everyone else's, we'd be even earlier. I think this is part of the issue, the rest of her family are all bloody useless at communicating time. "My sister's coming over today" - "cool, when?" - "I don't know." Oh great, so we'll just sit here for the entire ****ing day just on the offchance that she graces us with her presence at some point then, shall we?
So do I, but the devil here is that I don't do it at every step multiple times over. She'll go "it'll take ten minutes to get into the car (it really won't) so I'll allow 20... the journey is half an hour's drive so I'll allow an hour... I might need a piss so that's another 15 minutes... " and suddenly she's helicoptering an hour before I need to start to even think about getting ready to leave.
I can get washed, dressed and be in the car with the engine running having leisurely made a coffee in passing inside of ten minutes, I don't need to factor in an hour of slack to go to the hairdressers a 15 minute drive away.
If she sorted out her own shit instead of worrying after everyone else's, we'd be even earlier. I think this is part of the issue, the rest of her family are all bloody useless at communicating time. "My sister's coming over today" - "cool, when?" - "I don't know." Oh great, so we'll just sit here for the entire ****ing day just on the offchance that she graces us with her presence at some point then, shall we?
If my wife had a sister I'd be suspicious she was cheating on me with you...
If my wife had a sister I'd be suspicious she was cheating on me with you...
Your bathroom needs regrouting.
The more I think about this - thank you, STW counselling session - the more I think it's a Them problem. She's spent so much time (ho ho!) enabling their bollocks that it's normalised behaviour and now I'm just collateral damage.
But it's a drama because she's spent her whole life rolling over to this insanity. She knows The Boy is always late, she knows his sister isn't much better, she knows that her sister is a flake on a good day, because they're all the bloody same. This is just the natural order of things and she constantly compensates for it, second-guessing everyone else and planning around their erratic hopelessness. It's no wonder she's stressed. Then Literal Man arrives on the scene and I'm seemingly a reckless lunatic for approximating the time that tasks will actually take, acknowledging that sometimes it really just doesn't matter, or suggesting that perhaps it might be courteous to tell people what you're doing.
Not work related but a mate turned up for a ride a few years ago, 40 mins later than arranged before getting his tools out to try and fix the dropper post that had been playing up on a ride the weekend before. The rest of us just left him to get on with it and set off
A group I used to ride with the arrangement was meet at 10 for a 10.30 start. My answer would be ill meet you at 10.28 ready to go