[Closed] Women and house rules?

rag week?

Your wife needs to get out more is she thinks shoes in a wardrobe are a good idea.

Purposely made the shelves in our shed wide enough and chunky enough to sleep on just in case

Obviously she's mental - we all are apparently 😉

(shoe rack in porch for trainer type shoes, smart shoes & boots in wardrobe)

Kill her.

Wee in her shoes? Then she won't put them in the wardrobe! 😆

It's a 'wardROBE', not a 'wardSHOES'.

Good luck.

I converted the attic in my garage for this kind of situation - not too many shoes in the porch you understand, somewhere to sleep when she changes the locks.

Snigle
:o)

Sounds like my home WCA, I end up leaving my shoes outside, by the front door.

Now that, miffs her off no end 😉

shoe rack by door .. blame the kids for any shoes that are out as they play with them

I bet you leave the toilet seat up too, don't you? You selfish inconsiderate bastard!!!!!!

🙂

My other half has a similar rule but ends up leaving them lined up the side of the stairs so i fall over and twist my ankle every bl00dy time i come down the stairs, i swear she is trying to kill me 😕

My advice would be to start leaving your bike stuff all around the lounge and dining room (and if your brave enough the kitchen as well) that way you have something to bargain with when she complains about bike stuff every where 😉

If it wasn't for the whole shagging blokes thing I think being gay would be much more popular.

So what weird rules do your partners come up with?

In defence of Mrs WCA, their house is immaculate, and the garage looks like a disaster zone. I suspect, without Mrs WCA to tidy up after him, the house would be just as bad.

Mind you, she did 'tidy away' my unfinished beer, once. That is indefensible...

WorldClassAccident - Member

So what weird rules do your partners come up with?

She gets all wound up when I spend her money, apparently is hers 🙄

Mine insists on me putting the kettle back on the cradle, and also on putting that ridiculous throw on the bed that falls off the second you go under the duvet 'because it looks nice'.

She's been good generally though, I can make a pretty big mess before I get the back of her hand across my pearly whites.

MrsAber moves the stuff I've left lying around - normally about a foot from where I left it - and that's tidy. If I move it a foot left before she comes in, she 'tidys' it back to where I left it.

Still, she lets me spend my money on whatever I want, as long as she gets some to play with, so that's OK.

- Rules for eating toast at a communal breakfast -

1. One knife is denoted the butter knife and is used for transferring a portion of butter to your plate
2. For each jar of jam there is a spoon, which is used for transferring a portion of jam to your plate.
2a. Jam spoons may not be used for more than one jar.
3. Each diner has a knife, denoted a personal knife
4. The personal knife is used for spreading butter and jam upon your toast. AT NO POINT must the personal knife be used to retrieve butter or jam from their respective receptacles.
4a. The exception to rule 4 is that Marmite may be both removed from the jar and spread with your personal knife.

WHY THE EXCEPTION FOR MARMITE?!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND ! ! ! !

when mrswors puts things away, she shoves it into one cupboard, when i find out where she's put it and open said cupboard it bloody attacks me there that much shite in it!!

[i]Mind you, she did 'tidy away' my unfinished beer, once. That is indefensible...[/i]

RudyBoy - that was to stop you from becoming intoxicated 😆

Mrs WCA is lovely - WCA, you're just a man.......and an untidy one at that 😉

Shoes on stairs? She's trying to kill you.

Do her first.

[i]poppa - Member
- Rules for eating toast at a communal breakfast -

1. One knife is denoted the butter knife and is used for transferring a portion of butter to your plate
2. For each jar of jam there is a spoon, which is used for transferring a portion of jam to your plate.
2a. Jam spoons may not be used for more than one jar.
3. Each diner has a knife, denoted a personal knife
4. The personal knife is used for spreading butter and jam upon your toast. AT NO POINT must the personal knife be used to retrieve butter or jam from their respective receptacles.
4a. The exception to rule 4 is that Marmite may be both removed from the jar and spread with your personal knife.

WHY THE EXCEPTION FOR MARMITE?!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND ! ! ! !
[/i]

You need to remove the poker from her backside and start enjoying breakfasts a bit more! ;o) All this butter and jam nonsense. I bet a jar of jam doesn't hang around long enough in your home for the contaminated butter in it to go bad!

mysterymurdoch - Member

Mine insists on me putting the kettle back on the cradle, and also on putting that ridiculous throw on the bed that falls off the second you go under the duvet 'because it looks nice'.

We've got cushions that go on the bed that then have to come off the bed when we get in!
Why ffs??

There are some interesting wives out there it seems.
Mine hardly ever tidys anything up.

And her bike is in the dining room.

glenh - Member
There are some interesting wives out there it seems.
Mine hardly ever tidys anything up.

And her bike is in the dining room.

I think my partner has a log in that I don't know about, cos that's me that is... except that my bike is in the kitchen.

RudyBoy - that was to stop you from becoming intoxicated

That's all well and good, but it was a bottle of Itchen Valley beer.

Which makes it a far, far more serious crime.

PS; Mrs WCA is, as Aleigh quite rightly says, lovely!

There is a rumour, apparently called scientific fact that a womans brain works differently.
Personaly I always try to put things in the same place, that way I know where they are. Women are supposed to be more visual so putting things down in random places were there is an empty space doesnt stress them out.

Odd really .... IT DOES MY HEAD IN!!!!

Rules for eating toast at a communal breakfast -

1. One knife is denoted the butter knife and is used for transferring a portion of butter to your plate
2. For each jar of jam there is a spoon, which is used for transferring a portion of jam to your plate.
2a. Jam spoons may not be used for more than one jar.
3. Each diner has a knife, denoted a personal knife
4. The personal knife is used for spreading butter and jam upon your toast. AT NO POINT must the personal knife be used to retrieve butter or jam from their respective receptacles.
4a. The exception to rule 4 is that Marmite may be both removed from the jar and spread with your personal knife.

WHY THE EXCEPTION FOR MARMITE?!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND ! ! ! !

OCD

I would like to add that MrsWCA is indeed lovely.

She keeps me in order, the house is always well kept without a neurotic twist to it, she is friendly to my friends and very understanding when I invited 40 random STWers round for a party without telling her.

Still mad as a box of frogs though

😉

Heh! She must be- she married you!

Mrs Dummy can only be induced to tidy up after herself at all when we have visitors, and she then "tidies up" by taking all traces of my presence in the house and hiding them in random cupboards. Washing clothes is something that only I have the privilege of doing, although she retains complaint and criticism rights.

🙂

[i]There is a rumour, apparently called scientific fact that a womans brain works differently[/i]

Yes - our brains are normal unlike mens 😉

😯

WCA - Rookie Error.

You should have slipped on the shoes, broke something then used that as emotional blackmail fr the rest of your life.

Amateur.

Poppa, if that's real, why on earth do you put up with that kind of shite? Life's too short for all that.

It must get worse as they get older. My mum has our little 'un one day a week. This involves her being in Binners Towers, unhindered, for a number of hours.

Sometimes, when I get in from work, I think I've walked into someone elses house. Not just obsessive tidying, but re-arranging kitchen cupboards, moving furniture, that kind of thing.

It gets very confusing

Many women, in my experience, [i]want[/i] to use MrsPoppa's system for butter and jam handling. I suspect she is "correct" in a finishing school sense.

How come women get to choose the 'Right' place for things?

Where are my cycling shorts?
In the third drawer down
Why aren't they in with all my other cycling gear?
Because the 3rd drawer down is the right place for them?

Also and possibly related

How do they find things that I have been searching for hours for?

... because they have help from the voices in their heads!

I have to agree to nodding along to the whole butter knife, personal knife, jam spoons things...

I hate crumbs of toast or remnants of Jam/Pate/Vegemite left in the butter – but I found a much easier way to deal with it….. I just don't eat butter any more

🙂

Have an affair with someone younger and more attractive.

jojoA1 - Member

glenh - Member
There are some interesting wives out there it seems.
Mine hardly ever tidys anything up.

And her bike is in the dining room.

I think my partner has a log in that I don't know about, cos that's me that is... except that my bike is in the kitchen.

And I thought papadirt had logged in as glenh.

WorldClassAccident - Member

How come women get to choose the 'Right' place for things?

Dunno about that one, but I reckon if I'm in charge of tidying then I can make as much mess as I like, where I like. This week I shall mostly be building a new BMX in the kitchen 😀

Oh nuts, I've gone off tinker-belle slightly.

😉

LOL @ BigDummy

I've got to have at least one "odd thing" otherwise I apparently don't count as female 😉

The truth is that they all possess strange magical powers, designed deliberately to humiliate us.

A typical conversation usually goes:

"Where are my gloves dear?"
"They're in the second drawer down"
"No they're not. I've looked in there"
"Are we talking a 'proper' look, or a 'Man-look'?"
"it was definately a 'proper' look,. They're not there"

She will then open the drawer and produce them. ITS WITCHCRAFT!!!!!!! WITCHCRAFT I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!

My wife is an expert when it comes down to whether it's cold or not
& she is always right & won't hear it any other way - she even claims that the thermometer on the thermostat is incorrect if it dares to differ from her findings

Don;t start on the temperature - It is December so it is freezing and we will have the heating on 300c.

But darling, there is sunshine and butterflies in tha garden

So what? It is December so it is freezing, now stop walking around in your underpants and put a sweater on

How do they find things that I have been searching for hours for?

because you do a mans look.

My missus insists on having the back door open to 'air' the house, then asks me what i'm doing when i turn the heating off at the boiler!

Actually I'm very good at finding things, much to my wife’s annoyance. She will curse me for telling her exactly where something is without me even looking!
I think I must have some form of photographic memory for useless stuff like this.

She also claims I'm much better at tidying up than her! But I suspect this is just a ruse to get me to do it :/

Ok so it seems that most women can find items that we have lost within seconds of starting to look for them but i can get my own back by repeating word for word what she has just said to me even if i haven't been listening to her,,,,

Drives her up the ****ing wall 😀 😀

So gents what are you able to do that the other half finds annoying, keep it clean 😉

bigsi - i do that too. sends her loopy.

I regularly receive calls at work from Mrs North asking me if I know where her shoes/make-up/coatthe car is. No, I don't. Are they where she put them? She doesn't know, because nothing is ever put in the same place twice!

She's fundamentally incapable of being tidy. Nowhere has a place, everyhting gradually becomes stren across floors.

Now, I'm also untidy, but I'm untidy in the same way in the same places, but she's untidy entirely randomly.

Mind you, by her own admission, when it comes to stuff like this I've got a duff model.

Just stare really lovingling into her eyes when she is trying to talk to you.

She : Right, we need some shopping
You : Uhuh (loving stare)
She : Let's go to Tesco then
You : Uhuh, sigh!
She : Wipe that dopey look off your face or your not getting it for the rest of the week!

This week I shall mostly be building a new BMX in the kitchen

I think I'm in love with Mamadirt! 😳 🙂

She : Wipe that dopey look off your face or your not getting it for the rest of the week!

You mean your married & get It more than once a week, now I know your bending the truth 😉

Mrs Down thinks that just cos she wants to do all 'her' chores in the morning that we all have to get up at 6am, despite us all leaving for work/school at 8.20 - 8.25, I have learned to take the dogs for hour long morning walks...

...now I like to do 'my' chores in the evening, but any noise or movement (or stressing around in Mrs down speak)after 8pm is simply unacceptable. I used to live in innocent ignorance that life 20 minutes before leaving the house in the morning existed, ahh happy days.

shh dont tell anyone especially Mrs Down, but I couldn't live without my morning walks anymore...

"Manlook"

MrsFlash it is so true......soooo true. I'm not pretending to be tidy, but I can find stuff, cus I'm a woman :-D.

kinda666 - Member
My missus insists on having the back door open to 'air' the house, then asks me what i'm doing when i turn the heating off at the boiler!

tick here on that one is mrs antigee airing elsewhere i ask

I thought I was alone...
All these comments above have shown me that I have a normal wife, and is not doing the stoopid things she does just to annoy me. 😯

Rudeboy! Oooooh, young maaaan 😉

Our shoes are kept underneath the stairs on a rack.
I know where everything is in the house. if mr. B had his way then they would be all piled up in the centre of the lounge.

He puts all his cycling gear on the stairs. I t drives me mad.

clareymorris - Member

"Manlook"

MrsFlash it is so true......soooo true. I'm not pretending to be tidy, but I can find stuff, cus I'm a woman :-D.

LOL. Not met a woman yet that's particularly good at finding things. I on the other hand may inhabit a mess, but it's an organised mess, and I pretty much know where everything is and can find it very quickly! 😉

The one that gets to me everytime is when I ask for her car keys & the answer "they are in my handbag"

How does that help? Her handbag can be anywhere.

"Manlook". I like that one - I do it all the time.
"Where's..." "Over there" before I've even finished the sentence!

I knew I was manlooking for something in the bathroom this morning, no-one around to ask, so I must've rotated around that bathroom 4 times before I saw it, right there, next to the sink, where I had started my mansearch.

WCA, get a dog. Then she'll give up on the tidiness. Combined with a man and a child, it's just become a losing battle. Ha!

my mrs to be fair to her is not bad, rides a bike... understands that new bike bits are more important than food etc however she has a nice R32 that she leaves unlocked all of the time anywhere allnight allday allweek when we are away. this it has to be said does my napper in.
she returns home from work...
me: have you locked your car?
her: ill do it later
me: 🙄