[Closed] Why do teenage gangs stress me so much?

They're just bored. And as long as they aren't doing any harm is it a major problem? Maybe get then digging local trails

Go and hang out with them. They'll soon get fed up and move on.

Rent them some bikes take them to the trails, convert them to MTB gang 😀

Give them music requests...classical stuff.

Is there a local Macdonalds? The TV advert suggests peace and tranquillity for all in there.

Call this lot?

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Is this you OP?

They're kids, & sometimes hanging around is just what kids do, & want to do..
Unless they are actually hurting, damaging, abusing etc,..

Modern teens are under a lot more pressure these days.
Driven by aspirational parents, equally aspirational Schools, the constant fear of ridicule on social media, rampant consumerism driving the need for the latest must-have brands, never ending pressure to fit in etc.
They put up with a lot of crap sometimes.

You've no need to feel threatened by them. Why would you ? The vast majority are bored & letting off steam.
The media love you to think that every time a group of teens get together, they are looking to hurt someone.
Sadly, budget cuts have put paid to any local authority provision, & anyone who tries to start any kind of social provision for teens is immediately seen as a pervert.
I have teen age helpers at my Beaver Scout group, & to the younger Beavers they are the epitome of cool; swaggering in with tales of daring do. They are capable of some pretty incredible stuff given the opportunity.

Gangs of children are a damn nuisance. Get one of them high pitch noise emitters to drive them away.

If you really want to drive them away the mosquito tone should do the trick.

You're stressed because of the old King of the Herd mentality. Your the senior Lion protecting your close ones, they are the young pretenders threatening your space but you know you can't win against the pack.

All caveman-esque psychology isn't it.

Sounds like this alpha personality is winding up your alpha personality.
Only one alpha can prevail.

Modern teens are under a lot more pressure these days.
Driven by aspirational parents, equally aspirational Schools, the constant fear of ridicule on social media, rampant consumerism driving the need for the latest must-have brands, never ending pressure to fit in etc.

Sounds no different to when I was a teenager except for the ridicule wasn't on social media.

You're being a grump that's why.

Boris has a few of these spare no he's been told he can't use them..
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I had a guy come round to my house telling me to move my kids from outside his house (his friends live next door) cause he couldn't get his son to sleep. This was 7pm, my son is 11 and they were on their bikes. I laughed at him and told him to go away after I reminded him that his garden parties and fireworks kept the 11 year old awake when he was a baby.

So long as they are not doing anything illegal then whats the issue?

I have sympathy for the OP. As teenagers we hung out in parks, not residential streets, the noise must be irritating after awhile.

Blame the adults - they're the ones that have voted in governements that have systematically closed down spaces for young people to go to.

Young people need infomal spaces to hang out, chat, discover, make friends and break friends etc...except they have very little of that now and have to hang out on the streets...and then get blamed for being a nuisance.

Clubs like football only work for so long because they're still structured spaces that are 'owned' by adults...

Adults have spaces like pubs to do this...imagine if the governemnt closed down pubs...be an uproar...

You get stressed because it's a reminder that you're getting old, that you've lost the freedom of being a teenager, and you now have responsibilities and stuff to worry about.

Springtime - the hormones are rampant out there......

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The word 'group' may be more appropriate than gang?

Where should these kids go?!

If they aren't young and its not late late I don't see what they are doing wrong.

You could always engage them in daily cheery friendly questions/conversation. That'll annoy them back 😀

What places did the evil politicians close down where every teenager would go? I certainly can't recall any or a time kids didn't hang out in groups.

Fields full of wild grass, woods and streets to roam looking for adventure.

We used to climb along rooftops, old complex's you name it

The OP wanted us to stay in our bedrooms or living room.

@Drac...youth clubs, skate parks, green spaces turned into housing development...there are many places young people used to be able to go to..Im not saying they have never hung out on streets but young people used to have more spaces to go to...

Why do you think the politicians are evil? That's a bit harsh...

Where you never a teenager, or just morphed from baby to grumpy adulthood, totally missing puberty.

How many actually bothered with these youth clubs a handful maybe of them maybe, skate parks seem to be making a come back many closed as they weren't being used, it was BMX parks when I was young but that trend died so they closed. The it was skateboards back again so we used those but that died to. Kids hang out all sorts of places it's what they do.

I feel sorry for them as if they indoors they classed as the Call of Duty types that never play out, they play out and they're hanging around causing a nuisance.

edenvalleyboy - Member
Adults have spaces like pubs to do this...imagine if the governemnt closed down pubs...be an uproar...

The traditional pub for blokes to just hang out in are getting thin on the ground. It's all trendy gastro pubs for couples and families or loud music pubs for the kids. The rest are turning into blocks of flats.

OP already said he used to do the same. If they're not causing any bother, let the kids enjoy themselves. They won't be there forever.

@Drac...youth clubs, skate parks, green spaces turned into housing development...there are many places young people used to be able to go to..

Making cars too hard to nick is probably the biggest change in youth leisure.

@5thElephant...you may have nicked cars as a young person but I certainly didn't..and the vast majority of young people I work with wouldn't either...don't judge people by your own standards....

OP is asking why he's stressed, and how to cope with HIS stress, not how to deal with the teenagers.

So, one a week, transport all your street's teems to the vistor's street, purely to save him travelling, collect them at ten thirty.

For stress relief you could give yourself something to concentrate on by filming them with the camera on your phone.. Study their behaviour Attenborough style..
Hang out on the periphery with a warm smile..

The main hurdle here will be blending in.. Don't try to emulate the kids fashions, pick neutral attire such as a long raincoat (I wouldn't wear too much underneath given that the evenings will be getting warmer)

You could also try to gain their trust by offering sweets, cigarettes and cider

Oi....clean shirt.

Study their behaviour Attenborough style..

"Here, we observe, the female kills the male, following coitus."

The OP is stressed because this alpha-teenager is encroaching his territory. As much as people on here are saying he is overreacting, it is a primal, biological response common to us alphas, which the beta posters on here fail to understand 8)

There is wayyyyy more stuff for kids to do now than there was when I was a teenager, none of the green spaces 'shut down' like some people believe. The sheer number of activities that my 9 year old can go to is incredible - all within 200 yards - taekwondo, dancing, free 4G football park, gymnastics.... You get the idea.

When I was her age, I had the scouts or the boys brigade.

Don't be silly of course there's not as kids now stay indoors all they're the playstaition generation remember.

@NoBeer, where do you live, out of interest?
I live in Hertfordshire (rapidly becoming part of Greater London) and 2 of the 3 parks I used as a teenager have been turned into housing. The other one is up for redevelopment in the nxt five years.

Prestwick, Ayrshire. We don't have anything like the lack of housing pressure that exists in the south.

I sometimes catch myself thinking along the same lines as the OP. Then I remind myself that they're basically just doing what I did when I was a kid and are most likely no more of a threat to anyone than me and my mates were.

Good example of the kind of insidious effect of the media when it's constantly reinforced though. Even if you objectively know better, it's easy to sometimes find yourself thinking of them gangs rather than groups and much more badly behaved than kids in your day were etc etc.

globalti - Member
So why does it wind me up so much and has anybody any suggestions for dealing with the stress?

For me it's their uncontrolled behaviour to damage my property i.e. a hand, bottle, rock, football etc through my window. My landlord then has to repair them.

If they keep to themselves I don't even care if they shoot themselves dead all day so long as they leave me alone.

I got stress at times because if I go out to confront them the law would be on their side as they are all minor under 18. If I have to call the police then I might as well get the police to baby sit them for their parents.

Normally I just let them be in the hope that they got bored and move on.

In Asia we deal with them directly and too are their parents. As a teen we mess around but we do not cause stress to others. i.e. no property damage or taking drugs etc

For me it's their uncontrolled behaviour to damage my property i.e. a hand, bottle, rock, football etc through my window. My landlord then has to repair them.

How often does this actually happen though?

MrSalmon - Member
How often does this actually happen though?

Every summer or when the weather is fine or when they are fighting each other.

They would get drunk in the nearby park but would have to walk pass my flat ...

Currently getting this at work premises,I run a business on an inner city trading estate and we"re inundated with kids every evening,I'm usually the last one working late and they're a real nuisance.
Often its only the youngsters harmlessly kicking a ball around,but when the older kids turn up its chaotic.
I've tried reasoning/threatening/laughing and joking etc and they're just normal cheeky little blighters,same as we all were at that age I suppose.Spoke to the community police with no real response ,its a busy estate with many skips and 2x glass based businesses and associated waste ,its only a matter of time until one of them gets hurt I guess

Could you not go and hang around outside the visitors parents house?

Because they are destroying Britain, them, boy racers and pot holes isn't it.

Any party that prioritises these deeply important issues will win the next election.

In Asia we deal with them directly and too are their parents. As a teen we mess around but we do not cause stress to others. i.e. no property damage or taking drugs etc

Are you Jet Li in Lethal Weapon 4?

Start selling them drugs

If you get them all hooked on crack.... Ker-ching!

when i was a kid we tied old peoples door knockers together with string then knocked on one door and watched as both neighbours tried to pull their doors open, we picked and sold blackberries door to door, we collected fire wood and chopped trees down for a stock of firewood in the winter, we sat on our wall and chatted about anything and everything, we got shouted at by the resident grumpy meldrew, and we moved somewhere else,we shopped for the old people at the local shop, we built and raced go carts, we climbed trees, and played outside,we saved up and went to the cinema,we delivered leaflets for the local shop, we had paper rounds,we looked forward to haloween , bonfire night, and the local fete on the playing fields, planning for weeks, we didnt have a sports centre, skate park or boys club or even scouts, although the scout masters where involved in child abuse we found out as adults when they went to prison.

We enjoyed ourselves, we acted as kids,but we respected others property and their cars, but most of all we had fun. and almost every night we where outside wind rain or cold, we survived.

Hell i just sound like one of those nice old people we used to listen to when we where kids, their stories and memories.

Well, thanks to the handful of posters who recognised that I'm asking how to deal with MY problem! Most others wrote exactly what I already know about teenagers and nobody has suggested a mental strategy for dealing with my own self-imposed, irrational stress. I can't help it; as soon as I hear a shout or a scream my stress level rockets.

Drac - Moderator

In Asia we deal with them directly and too are their parents. As a teen we mess around but we do not cause stress to others. i.e. no property damage or taking drugs etc

Are you Jet Li in Lethal Weapon 4?

It's in Borneo so what do you think?

Send in community officers? Have counseling? 😆

We ARE the community officers! 😆

We ARE all Jet Li minus the glamour and his Kung Fu skill ...

In remote area if the village head decides to punish the culprits then they have two choices: Comply or move away ... otherwise the consequences will be dire.

edit: in certain part of the remote area if you run down their animal like chicken, goat or cat/dog ... you either drive the long way home never use the same road home or if you need to use the same route again to go home you better stop to pay heavy compensation. Otherwise the entire village will be up in arms to beat you senseless ... that is the law! Politicians keep a blind eye because they want their votes! 😛

My motorbike broke down (well- chain broke, my fault) in a dodgy area a few years back... Called for reinforcements, got a lift home, grabbed some tools, drove back, still there! phew! Started work, after a few minutes Youths started gathering. Ensured biggest hammer was to hand, carried on. The swarm grew, and grew, I'm thinking I should have brought a bigger hammer then finally the biggest one comes over and goes

"Should have oiled that chain mate, it's a ****ing disgrace, no wonder it broke. Could have gone through the cases! Or had your leg off"

Then they all wandered off. Not at all the sort of hard time I was expecting! I still wanted to hit him with the bloody hammer though.

Most others wrote exactly what I already know about teenagers and nobody has suggested a mental strategy for dealing with my own self-imposed, irrational stress. I can't help it; as soon as I hear a shout or a scream my stress level rockets.

I'd take a guess here and say there's many other things going on in your life and this is just the tipping point.

Try camomile tea.

Stop reading the Daily Mail.

Go for a walk past where the "gang" hangout.

Go for a walk through some "dodgy" areas locally.

Get home, think about how bad things aren't compared to what the media would have you believe.

Relax.

Some unbelievable attitudes on this thread !
Kids are told they are hopeless if they stay in on the Xbox , iPad etc and then told they are a nuisance if they go out !
It's the saddest thing ever people have no time for them

The sheer number of activities that my 9 year old can go to is incredible - all within 200 yards - taekwondo, dancing, free 4G football park, gymnastics.... You get the idea.

All these things cost money and adult supervision man, bar the football. But then if all these kids just hung out at the football park there would be complaints about that too.

I remember when i was a nipper, we would just hang out whereever and just do whatever. Eventually we got old enough to get BMXs and went to the skatepark. Without that park, god knows what we would of done.

As teenagers we hung out in parks, not residential streets, the noise must be irritating after awhile.

My residential street is next to a park. My project for this year is to see if I can relax, accept and fall asleep to the dulcit tones of the local yoot's late night socialising.