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We have quite a large number of teenagers in our street including our own and two close neighbours. There is one who lives about 10 miles away and whose parents actually drop him in the street every afternoon; he hangs around all evening attracting a group of 6 to 10, who also hang around and play loud music. Our own son doesn't go out because he's a bit older. Then at about 11 pm the visitor gets picked up by a taxi, which is rather sad really because we wouldn't want our son to do that every day. There is shouting and squealing almost every evening and it really winds me up. Our local beat officer knows about it and knows the visitor but short of coming down for a word when he's on duty there isn't much that he can do, especially as they aren't breaking any laws.
The crazy thing is that my pals and I used to do exactly the same thing when we were teenagers except that we couldn't call more out by texting them.
So why does it wind me up so much and has anybody any suggestions for dealing with the stress?
They're just bored. And as long as they aren't doing any harm is it a major problem? Maybe get then digging local trails
Go and hang out with them. They'll soon get fed up and move on.
Rent them some bikes take them to the trails, convert them to MTB gang 😀
Give them music requests...classical stuff.
Is there a local Macdonalds? The TV advert suggests peace and tranquillity for all in there.
Call this lot?
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Is this you OP?
They're kids, & sometimes hanging around is just what kids do, & want to do..
Unless they are actually hurting, damaging, abusing etc,..
Modern teens are under a lot more pressure these days.
Driven by aspirational parents, equally aspirational Schools, the constant fear of ridicule on social media, rampant consumerism driving the need for the latest must-have brands, never ending pressure to fit in etc.
They put up with a lot of crap sometimes.
You've no need to feel threatened by them. Why would you ? The vast majority are bored & letting off steam.
The media love you to think that every time a group of teens get together, they are looking to hurt someone.
Sadly, budget cuts have put paid to any local authority provision, & anyone who tries to start any kind of social provision for teens is immediately seen as a pervert.
I have teen age helpers at my Beaver Scout group, & to the younger Beavers they are the epitome of cool; swaggering in with tales of daring do. They are capable of some pretty incredible stuff given the opportunity.
Gangs of children are a damn nuisance. Get one of them high pitch noise emitters to drive them away.
If you really want to drive them away the mosquito tone should do the trick.
You're stressed because of the old King of the Herd mentality. Your the senior Lion protecting your close ones, they are the young pretenders threatening your space but you know you can't win against the pack.
All caveman-esque psychology isn't it.
Sounds like this alpha personality is winding up your alpha personality.
Only one alpha can prevail.
Modern teens are under a lot more pressure these days.
Driven by aspirational parents, equally aspirational Schools, the constant fear of ridicule on social media, rampant consumerism driving the need for the latest must-have brands, never ending pressure to fit in etc.
Sounds no different to when I was a teenager except for the ridicule wasn't on social media.
You're being a grump that's why.
Boris has a few of these spare no he's been told he can't use them..
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I had a guy come round to my house telling me to move my kids from outside his house (his friends live next door) cause he couldn't get his son to sleep. This was 7pm, my son is 11 and they were on their bikes. I laughed at him and told him to go away after I reminded him that his garden parties and fireworks kept the 11 year old awake when he was a baby.
So long as they are not doing anything illegal then whats the issue?
I have sympathy for the OP. As teenagers we hung out in parks, not residential streets, the noise must be irritating after awhile.
Blame the adults - they're the ones that have voted in governements that have systematically closed down spaces for young people to go to.
Young people need infomal spaces to hang out, chat, discover, make friends and break friends etc...except they have very little of that now and have to hang out on the streets...and then get blamed for being a nuisance.
Clubs like football only work for so long because they're still structured spaces that are 'owned' by adults...
Adults have spaces like pubs to do this...imagine if the governemnt closed down pubs...be an uproar...
You get stressed because it's a reminder that you're getting old, that you've lost the freedom of being a teenager, and you now have responsibilities and stuff to worry about.
Springtime - the hormones are rampant out there......
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The word 'group' may be more appropriate than gang?
Where should these kids go?!
If they aren't young and its not late late I don't see what they are doing wrong.
You could always engage them in daily cheery friendly questions/conversation. That'll annoy them back 😀
What places did the evil politicians close down where every teenager would go? I certainly can't recall any or a time kids didn't hang out in groups.
Fields full of wild grass, woods and streets to roam looking for adventure.
We used to climb along rooftops, old complex's you name it
The OP wanted us to stay in our bedrooms or living room.
@Drac...youth clubs, skate parks, green spaces turned into housing development...there are many places young people used to be able to go to..Im not saying they have never hung out on streets but young people used to have more spaces to go to...
Why do you think the politicians are evil? That's a bit harsh...
Where you never a teenager, or just morphed from baby to grumpy adulthood, totally missing puberty.
How many actually bothered with these youth clubs a handful maybe of them maybe, skate parks seem to be making a come back many closed as they weren't being used, it was BMX parks when I was young but that trend died so they closed. The it was skateboards back again so we used those but that died to. Kids hang out all sorts of places it's what they do.
I feel sorry for them as if they indoors they classed as the Call of Duty types that never play out, they play out and they're hanging around causing a nuisance.
edenvalleyboy - Member
Adults have spaces like pubs to do this...imagine if the governemnt closed down pubs...be an uproar...
The traditional pub for blokes to just hang out in are getting thin on the ground. It's all trendy gastro pubs for couples and families or loud music pubs for the kids. The rest are turning into blocks of flats.
OP already said he used to do the same. If they're not causing any bother, let the kids enjoy themselves. They won't be there forever.
@Drac...youth clubs, skate parks, green spaces turned into housing development...there are many places young people used to be able to go to..
Rose tinted?
Making cars too hard to nick is probably the biggest change in youth leisure.
@5thElephant...you may have nicked cars as a young person but I certainly didn't..and the vast majority of young people I work with wouldn't either...don't judge people by your own standards....
OP is asking why he's stressed, and how to cope with HIS stress, not how to deal with the teenagers.
So, one a week, transport all your street's teems to the vistor's street, purely to save him travelling, collect them at ten thirty.
For stress relief you could give yourself something to concentrate on by filming them with the camera on your phone.. Study their behaviour Attenborough style..
Hang out on the periphery with a warm smile..
The main hurdle here will be blending in.. Don't try to emulate the kids fashions, pick neutral attire such as a long raincoat (I wouldn't wear too much underneath given that the evenings will be getting warmer)
You could also try to gain their trust by offering sweets, cigarettes and cider
Oi....clean shirt.
Study their behaviour Attenborough style..
"Here, we observe, the female kills the male, following coitus."
The OP is stressed because this alpha-teenager is encroaching his territory. As much as people on here are saying he is overreacting, it is a primal, biological response common to us alphas, which the beta posters on here fail to understand 8)
There is wayyyyy more stuff for kids to do now than there was when I was a teenager, none of the green spaces 'shut down' like some people believe. The sheer number of activities that my 9 year old can go to is incredible - all within 200 yards - taekwondo, dancing, free 4G football park, gymnastics.... You get the idea.
When I was her age, I had the scouts or the boys brigade.
Don't be silly of course there's not as kids now stay indoors all they're the playstaition generation remember.
@NoBeer, where do you live, out of interest?
I live in Hertfordshire (rapidly becoming part of Greater London) and 2 of the 3 parks I used as a teenager have been turned into housing. The other one is up for redevelopment in the nxt five years.
Prestwick, Ayrshire. We don't have anything like the lack of housing pressure that exists in the south.
I sometimes catch myself thinking along the same lines as the OP. Then I remind myself that they're basically just doing what I did when I was a kid and are most likely no more of a threat to anyone than me and my mates were.
Good example of the kind of insidious effect of the media when it's constantly reinforced though. Even if you objectively know better, it's easy to sometimes find yourself thinking of them gangs rather than groups and much more badly behaved than kids in your day were etc etc.
globalti - Member
So why does it wind me up so much and has anybody any suggestions for dealing with the stress?
For me it's their uncontrolled behaviour to damage my property i.e. a hand, bottle, rock, football etc through my window. My landlord then has to repair them.
If they keep to themselves I don't even care if they shoot themselves dead all day so long as they leave me alone.
I got stress at times because if I go out to confront them the law would be on their side as they are all minor under 18. If I have to call the police then I might as well get the police to baby sit them for their parents.
Normally I just let them be in the hope that they got bored and move on.
In Asia we deal with them directly and too are their parents. As a teen we mess around but we do not cause stress to others. i.e. no property damage or taking drugs etc
For me it's their uncontrolled behaviour to damage my property i.e. a hand, bottle, rock, football etc through my window. My landlord then has to repair them.
How often does this actually happen though?
MrSalmon - Member
How often does this actually happen though?
Every summer or when the weather is fine or when they are fighting each other.
They would get drunk in the nearby park but would have to walk pass my flat ...
Currently getting this at work premises,I run a business on an inner city trading estate and we"re inundated with kids every evening,I'm usually the last one working late and they're a real nuisance.
Often its only the youngsters harmlessly kicking a ball around,but when the older kids turn up its chaotic.
I've tried reasoning/threatening/laughing and joking etc and they're just normal cheeky little blighters,same as we all were at that age I suppose.Spoke to the community police with no real response ,its a busy estate with many skips and 2x glass based businesses and associated waste ,its only a matter of time until one of them gets hurt I guess