Why do Scots people...
 

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[Closed] Why do Scots people go sick at Xmas?

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Cos theyr'e no well.

IGMC.

Merry Xmas everyone!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 12:33 pm
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IGMC.

It was hardly worth taking it off 🙂


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 12:40 pm
 Drac
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Not because they had to part with some cash?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 12:51 pm
 igm
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Is this the casual racism thread?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 12:58 pm
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^ Well that didn't take long !


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:00 pm
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Is this the casual racism thread?

See above.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:00 pm
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igm- anti-Scots racism is the only type still ignored by the STW Mods (even when it's reported). I'm sure it's all just a laaaarf


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:01 pm
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A sheep, drum and snake fall off a cliff...

...Baa Dum Tssss


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:03 pm
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Posted : 24/12/2016 1:09 pm
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Is this the casual racism thread?

Only if someone decides to turn it into one.

No well No well, No well No well, born is the king of Isreal.....

Ah well, 5 of my Scottish work colleagues had a laugh & a groan at it. 😆


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:10 pm
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Is this thread anti-me? Should I be offended? I know some folk here have their offended switch defaulted to On, but I'm not there yet


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:11 pm
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No well No well, No well No well, born is the king of Isreal.....

That was only offensive because it was a shit joke 🙂


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:12 pm
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Sorry Col, I must try harder!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:13 pm
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Is this the casual racism thread?

Yorkshireman takes his cat to the vet after inadvertently kicking it while chasing a stray whippet.

Yorkshireman - "Ayup lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat"
Vet - "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman - "Nay, I've browt it with me"


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:16 pm
 Drac
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Well we act on any reported if they over step the mark as we do with any about Welsh, Irish, English, Liverpudlians, Geordies or anything else that is overly offensive.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:17 pm
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There's an easy way to tell if a joke is racist or not.

The joker looks over their shoulder first or, 'I'm not racist, but...'

Well OP, clearly you didn't do the latter, what about the former?

Remember kids, playing on words isn't racist, being racist is racist.

Why does a frenchman have a single boiled egg for breakfast? Because, in France, un œuf is enough.

What's e-business?
Commerce in Yorkshire


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:19 pm
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Drac - Moderator
Well we act on any reported if they over step the mark as we do with any about Welsh, Irish, English, Liverpudlians, Geordies or anything else that is overly offensive
I guess your "mark" is just set differently then. Funny that....


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:19 pm
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or maybe they aren't being reported by anyone?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:20 pm
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legend - Member
or maybe they aren't being reported by anyone?
I know differently


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:21 pm
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ooohhh Mods are racist!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:24 pm
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Well as I said, *merry* Xmas.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:26 pm
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Well we act on any reported if they over step the mark as we do with any about Welsh, Irish, English, Liverpudlians, Geordies or anything else that is overly offensive

Yeah but you don't mind if it's aimed at Southerners.

I'm appalled by the constant abuse Southerners receive on here from clog dancing Northerners.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:27 pm
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Modist.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:27 pm
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[quote=legend ]ooohhh Mods are racist!

These ones definitely are!!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:27 pm
 Drac
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Ha! I don't wear clogs.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:28 pm
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ooohhh Mods are racist!

Bloody rockers, coming over 'ere, listening to their music, slagging off Weller and scooters....

Beaten by 44 seconds...


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:28 pm
 Drac
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I guess your "mark" is just set differently then. Funny that....

I guess so.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:29 pm
 igm
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'Twasn't the OPs post that I was referring to.

The OP's joke didn't work for me, for I wouldn't say "no well" to mean "not well" - doesn't sound right. It would be "nae weel" or something like that. Or even "not well"

However I have to read Irvine Welsh out loud to understand it, so maybe I'm not a good judge.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:30 pm
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[quote=igm ]'Twasn't the OPs post that I was referring to. +1


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:30 pm
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[quote=Drac ]

I guess your "mark" is just set differently then. Funny that....
I guess so.Which begs the question - who Mods the Mods?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:33 pm
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Urgh, fine, to redress the balance, a bit, an ode to Yorkshire..

'Ear all, see all, say nowt;
Eat all, sup all, pay nowt;
And if ivver tha does owt fer nowt -
Allus do it fer thissen.

Yorkshire folk are tight too, all of them.

Tomhoward, born in 'uddersfield, live in Leeds, having just moved from 'arroget.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:35 pm
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:46 pm
 Drac
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Which begs the question - who Mods the Mods?

Well lots of things are done as a collective but if need be over all Mark and Chipps soon speak up they think we're wrong.

I guessed it wasn't the OP post rather mine refering to Scots being a bit tight.

Yorkshire folk are tight too, all of them.

Racist.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:49 pm
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Did you hear about the Spanish fire fighting brothers?

Josè and....

Diego.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:49 pm
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scotroutes: are you genuinely getting upset about a bad pun in a Scottish accent? 😕

I'm a sweaty sock too and nothing about that joke seems even remotely racist to me.

Edit:

I guessed it wasn't the OP post rather mine refering to Scots being a bit tight.

'sake. No issue from me Drac. If we can't laugh at ourselves then who can we laugh at?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:50 pm
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[quote=GrahamS ]scotroutes: are you genuinely getting upset about a bad pun in a Scottish accent? No


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:53 pm
 Drac
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'sake. No issue from me Drac. If we can't laugh at ourselves then who can we laugh at?

Southerners with their funny pearly outfits?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:54 pm
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Racist

[img] [/img]

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:56 pm
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For Sale:

Dead Budgie,

It's not going cheep!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 1:58 pm
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Posted : 24/12/2016 1:58 pm
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Drac - Moderator

Ha! I don't wear clogs.

Sorry.......I hope you weren't offended.

I seriously thought, obviously, that all Northerners enjoyed clog dancing.

EDIT : All Scots are tight-fisted, right? Please don't tell me they're not otherwise I'll never know what to believe again.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:01 pm
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Many moons ago I was having a light-hearted argument with a fellow apprentice, a lad from Doncaster;

Him: "Do you want to have a fête about it?"

Me: "A fête... you mean like a village garden party?"

It was funny at the time.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:06 pm
 poah
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GrahamS - Member

scotroutes: are you genuinely getting upset about a bad pun in a Scottish accent?

I am, it was a pish joke.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:08 pm
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Over twenty years old and still makes me chuckle:


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:11 pm
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[quote=ernie_lynch ]EDIT : All Scots are tight-fisted, right? Please don't tell me they're not otherwise I'll never know what to believe again.Just like all Irish are thick, all Welsh shag sheep and all English are fascist ****s. Who else can we have a go at, Germans, Italians, Jews, Arabs, Negroes?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:14 pm
 DezB
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was this the racist bit?

theyr'e


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:15 pm
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The Welsh don't shag sheep? WTF?!?!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:18 pm
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Nothing like an argument over nothing with strangers on the internet to put you in a festive mood eh? 😯


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:19 pm
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Which begs the question - who Mods the Mods?

Indeed, the hammer hit me for much less than Dracs comments on cash and Graham shows that it (perspiration) isnt even racist anyway!! Such is the inconsistency of isms and ists!!

Any way, nae bother just go and peel some more parsnips and tatties - my next job!!

In the spirit of the thread - what does the Italian war flag look like

(white cross on a white background - I will pick up essels' coat and get on with the veg)


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:20 pm
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I'm offended by the people being offended by the bad jokes. What does that me? Can I report myself? I'm from West Yorkshire originally if that helps.

Story - worked with a Liverpudlian who used to get really offended by all the stereotypes. He got sacked for stealing. Now that was funny.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:20 pm
 Drac
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Well you've certainly hit on the English thank God I'm Northumbrian.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:22 pm
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A Scotsman, Englishman and Welshman walked in a pub. The landlord looked up and said, "is this some kind of joke?"


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:23 pm
 Drac
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Indeed, the hammer hit me for much less than Dracs comments on cash and Graham shows that it (perspiration) isnt even racist anyway!! Such is the inconsistency of isms and ists!!

I've just checked. You were banned for you consistent trolling.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:23 pm
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Thats not what the email said - but never mind, carry on its Xmas!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:26 pm
 Drac
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I read the email.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:29 pm
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Q: What do you call an Irishman in a room full of books?

A: A librarian you ****ing racist


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:31 pm
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Just like all Irish are thick, all Welsh shag sheep and all English are fascist ****. Who else can we have a go at, Germans, Italians, Jews, Arabs, Negroes

Jimmy Carr, on one of his dvds, gets asked what the worst/most offensive joke he knows is (calm down, I'm not going to type it here) which he tells and a race and a terrible event in history is mentioned but the joke is a play on a phrase, and the race is not the butt of the joke, and then goes on to say that it is very much the intent of the joke, rather than the words themselves that are the offensive bit. Reg hunter has a similar view, saying there are 2 types of racism, only one of which is offensive. There's the jokes/ribbing about stereotypes, accents etc, then there's people missing out on jobs or benefits, getting shot by police etc. Which do you think he sites as the one to pay attention to?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:34 pm
 Drac
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Which do you think he sites as the one to pay attention to?

Oooh oooh! Do we ask Securty Officers about this?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:40 pm
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Reg hunter has a similar view, saying there are 2 types of racism, only one of which is offensive.

The person who really popularised in British culture the comedy stereotype that Irishmen are a bit daft/simple was Dave Allen. Who was of course himself 100% Irish.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:49 pm
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Tom B - Member
Nothing like an argument over nothing with strangers on the internet to put you in a festive mood eh?

There's an arguement? I thought it was just the terminally offended being terminally offended?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 2:55 pm
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THM

Sure it's not the French war flag? What with them being 'cheese eating surrender monkeys'* an' all?

*according to grounds keeper Willy. He wasn't French, was he?


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:00 pm
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teamhurtmore - Member

Indeed, the hammer hit me for much less than Dracs comments on cash and Graham shows that it (perspiration) isnt even racist anyway!!

There is a difference between a comment which obviously intended to be a joke, and shouldn't be taken seriously, and repeatedly, and incessantly, using the term "sweaty sock" when arguing with someone in a deliberate attempt to taunt and ridicule them.

I HTH, although I doubt it will.......for someone who claims to have reached high levels of academic achievement you appear to struggle when it comes to understanding the simplest of concepts.

Or at least you use the schoolboy tactic of feigning "what did I say wrong?" because you think everyone else is stupid. Which TBF makes [i]you[/i] look rather daft.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:21 pm
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A crap prison joke about Scottish people, especially for esselgruntfuttock

Did you hear about the lonely , Scottish prisoner?

He was in his cell.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:29 pm
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I HTH, although I doubt it will.......for someone who claims to have reached high levels of academic achievement you appear to struggle when it comes to understanding the simplest of concepts.

Immensely, we are blessed to have you helping out on simple concepts. Thank you Ernie. Merry Christmas too.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:41 pm
 km79
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Anti-Scottish jibes and names are allowed on this forum, even when reported. Call a fanny a fanny though and you get a ban.

Suck my sweaty scotch balls ya bunch of fannies!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:41 pm
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What did Adam day tomorrow?
It's Christmas, Eve.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:43 pm
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'sake. No issue from me Drac. If we can't laugh at ourselves then who can we laugh at?

I know the answer to this one... It's the......


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:43 pm
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Is this the official STW Christmas arguing thread? Almost looks like the mods hung it out like flypaper to gather all the usual suspects into a single place during the festivities.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:44 pm
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we are blessed to have you helping out on simple concepts

I don't know if you were using the "royal we" but I think it's probably just you who needs help with simple concepts.

Most people with average intelligence would have no problem at all understanding the intent behind the repeated, and incessant, use of the term "sweaty sock" when arguing on a thread about Scottish independence.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 3:54 pm
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It must be Christmas, you are being too generous Ernie. Enough, save some for tomorrow please. No spuds to peel?

on exit and in the spirit of the thread

[b]Nollaig Chridheil agus Bliadhna Mhath Ùr[/b]


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 4:01 pm
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ooohhh Mods are racist!

And...the Pope is Catholic!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 4:12 pm
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It must be Christmas, you are being too generous Ernie.

You think I'm only generous at Christmas ?

The christian spirit of love and generosity runs through my veins throughout the year.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 4:19 pm
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Presented with a field full of highland cows, which one is going on holiday?

The one with the wee calf.

Yon's no jist a chip some o ye huv oan yer shooders but the fu haggis supper wie a glass cheque in yer pokit.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 5:45 pm
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My thread has never had so much attention since I got the M62 lanes mixed up.

Anyway, as you've obviously realised it was a shit joke which was a play on words with the hope of getting a groan & a smile.

For the record, I wish I was Scottish & lived in Scotland. 🙂

Lol @ Squirrel!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 5:57 pm
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Essel You're ruining any chances you had on the thread killer thread


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 6:07 pm
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That's a different thread though.

*goes to check*


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 6:14 pm
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Presented with a field full of highland cows, which one is going on holiday?

Which one's an Arab?

Coo Eight.


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 6:46 pm
 igm
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esselgruntfuttock - sorry about this. It was a lighthearted but honest comment on someone else's throw away Scots are mean comment - which needed a gentle challenge. I thought it was a bit of a careful now type comment, but it seems to have been a little heavier handed than I thought.

I didn't mean it to detract from your thread.

Your joke was still rubbish though (but not racist).


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 7:19 pm
 murf
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I'm Scottish and really want to be offended but I'm tight as **** so it seems a bit hypocritical!


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 7:52 pm
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esselgruntfuttock - sorry about this. It was a lighthearted but honest comment on someone else's throw away Scots are mean comment - which needed a gentle challenge. I thought it was a bit of a careful now type comment, but it seems to have been a little heavier handed than I thought.

I didn't mean it to detract from your thread.

Your joke was still rubbish though (but not racist).

Lol! No worries igm.
I 'invented' the joke (?) after hearing a Scots colleague at work say about a prisoner, 'he's no goan te work cos he's no well tha day'. The 'no well' stuck in my mind. 😆


 
Posted : 24/12/2016 7:59 pm
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