MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
I'll leave it to you to decide where the "mundane" boundary lies.
For me, it would be a toss-up between the following:
1. The ability to induce my 4-year-old to enthusiastically eat any foodstuff placed in front of her.
2. Produce multiple independent copies of myself. Not to take over the world or anything, just to help out with housework, DIY jobs'n'stuff.
3. Tele-farting - The ability to have every fart I produce disappear into a mini-wormhole and emerge immediately beneath the nose of the person of my choosing, anywhere in the world.
Ability to fix bike creaks instantly using the power of my mind.
Being able to manual
The ability to figure out the weight of luggage to within the nearest 1kg by simply carrying it.
All gears on the bike I'm riding are indexed perfectly (including front mechs) so there's no rubbing/jumping/clicking etc.
The ability to do ricochet shots into the bin. The ability to unlock alkward locks that you have to fiddle with first time everytime.
1. The ability to go to sleep instantly.
2. The ability to void my bowels at my chosen time not when they decide.
When I wake up in the morning, overnight my internal organs have created the perfect conditions so that I can do a continuously toned, rasping fart that can last up to ten seconds.
Think of the sound of someone slowly tearing a heavy velvet curtain. Its like that.
To have all the clothes in the house ,washed,ironed and put away by themselves in a Mary Poppins style.
[roadie]pass me too close and you wet yourself[/roadie]
I already have it; I am Volumeman. With a single glance, I can identify the perfect size of plastic container to hold and freeze the leftover portion of whatever has been cooked for tonight's dinner. Pasta, pasta sauce, curry, risotto, casserole, anything.
Cower before me, mortals.
1. I'd like to have the ability to sense accurate delivery information, knowing the exact time the delivery will arrive within its 7am to 9pm window.
Would also be good to sense it when considering ordering, so I could order something knowing if it would arrive in time!
2. Other option is "The Teflon MTBer", mud/dirt doesn't stick to me or the bike, no cleaning required!
The ability to do tedious, menial tasks and not notice - like put your body and mind into autohelm mode and have a little living room with a sofa and TV screen inside your head you can retreat into whilst the work gets done and a little alarm goes off to tell you when its safe to come back out. The amount of time I spend procrastinating to avoid tedious, menial tasks is stupendous - I'd be the most productive bloke ever!
I can guess the weight of a banana (+/- 5%) just by looking at it.
The ability to instantly commute to work (and back). I'd save loads on car running costs & would have loads more time to do proper stuff.
Ability to have an instant genuinely witty response at all times.
Preferably with a choice of cutting or supportive of which I would make the right choice.
It's not going to happen.
The ability to put children on Pause, Mute or Standby. Just like the telly.
The ability to phone some-one and have them a) be at the end of the phone and b) speak to me...
OOOoooWWWWwww!
OMG I eat too much and don't move about enough!.....
Why didn't I see this before?
To be able to know the location of any item I have lost.
(I recently lost my ipod nano and new headphones so just had to shell out to buy the whole lot again.)
A super bladder so that I can go through the night without having to get up for a pee.
Neutralise farts, or silence midnight parties/barkingdogs/hums/noisyexhausts.
To be able to start and complete each job I begin without being distracted by forum posts, facebook, twitter, texts, phone calls and a leaf falling from the tree outside!!
I'd like telepathic anti-pedantry powers. As soon as someone descends in to full pedantic mode, I could control their mind and stop them.
If that didn't work I'd use my telekinetic power like in Scanners
The ability to always be able to take the correct change out of my pocket. Need money for the meter? No problem. Dartford Bridge toll? Easy.
To make aggressive and/or dishonest people speak as if they are in a helium tank. Simply by glancing at them. This includes those I view live via any screen.
The ability to listen to Free Bird on a loop for hours
I'd like to have a the power of minor mechanical retribution. So that if somebody pisses me off on the road I could make a small breakdown occur that will make their journey intolerable:
Seat heater to maximum on hottest day
SatNav shuts down or
SatNav won't shut up and volume is turned up to maximum
Radio keeps switching channel, and random volume changes
One windscreen wiper stick half way
Windscreen wash bottle turns stagnant
... and such like... 👿
Based on the last few days, the ability to remove tiles from my kitchen wall without a pile of plaster coming off with them.
For me it's a toss up between: -
Workplace Politician Nullifier - makes every place of employment free from the kind of politics only the truly incompetent enjoy and employ. They keep trying though and are trapped in an enendless hell when their scheming has no impact or effect on anyone.
Crash Bubble. Puts me in a totally safe and invisible, sphere where I cannot be harmed from any crash.
To have a Sonic Blast that will frighten the bloody foxes off when they're digging up our lawn without waking Mrs Pondo.
I would be lengtho or maybe measuroman. and I would be able to accurately tell the dimensions of an object by looking at it.
The power to know what my wife means, regardless of what she actually says.