[Closed] What is your Super Power?

I can completely forget anyone's name within microseconds of being told it.

I can get a superking-sized duvet into its cover in a move that only takes a second or two and ends with the bed perfectly made and me already tucked up in it.

I can sniff a condom through my nose, the back of my throat and then pull it out of my mouth.

I can also heal the sick, but the condom trick is more useful.

I can also heal the sick

Yeah - but you're a bit too choosey

I can sniff a condom through my nose, the back of my throat and then pull it out of my mouth

That must be quite a treat for whoever's wearing it

I can put used condoms back on the shelf so they appear unused.

I can remove any jar lid with my bare hands. As demonstrated this morning with a half used jar of Marmite which hasn't been opened for months.

I can eat any spicey food of any heat however ferocious and not suffer from ring sting.

I can also drive drawing pins into any wall with just my thumb.

I have the ability to wake up, needeing a pee precisely an hour before my alarm goes off. Not so useful when its set for 0445!!!

Impeccably bad timing....

No matter what I do its the wrong thing. Kinda of an anti-power really...

Sleep at will.....

Procrastination

I cabb ttoe wjregdn ,kkking at trhe keyboart

I seem to have lost my super power of typing without looking at the keyboard... just as well i cans still make babies cry

I know pi to 65 decimal places, and can name every element on the periodic table. #GeekBoy.

Delusional exactitude

@ Euro, Phew, thought your power was some for of self titillation while typing for a sec, glad you clarified.

I can eat my own weight in pistachios I reckon. Should the need arise for good that is, not for evil.

I can get muddy anywhere.

Short walk round Roughlee yesterday?
To the knees.

It's probably Freudian.

I seem to be uncannily accurate at guessing my speed on a road bike (when riding without a computer but with people that have them). Commuted with a mate drafting and he shouts something to the effect of "we're cracking along!", I reply "yeah I reckon we're doing X" (redacted so as not to derail into a what's-you-average-road-speed epic) and I was bang on. Which obviously meant I started guessing at various points during our next few rides and I was always seemed to be within +/- 0.2mph.

That, and always waking up before my alarm clock. Me n inverjoe are orphans from the same planet.

I used to be able to guess bike weights to within half a pound, with a quick heft.

Everyone I know seems to have stopped weighing their bikes now though, so I dunno if I still possess this freakish power.

To always be in the way. Where ever I stand in a pub or public place, you can gaurentee within 5 minutes theres a line of people pushing past me even if it's not particularly busy. I'm yet to find a pratical application for this talent

I can resist eating cake and other non food items.
I can melt belly fat by staring at it.

I'm [url= http://superuseless.blogspot.co.uk/2008/06/13th-bullet-bulletproof.html ]13th bullet bulletproof[/url].

What powers you ask? I dunno how 'bout the power of flight?
That do anything for ya? That's levitation, holmes.

How 'bout the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away...
with mind bullets! That's telekinesis, Kyle.

How 'bout the power to move you?

I'm yet to find a pratical application for this talent

rent yourself out to struggling venues? Nightclub losing custom to the more hip competition? Stick Sofaboy outside and boom, queue of people jostling to get past.

Restaurants, cafes, theatres, even amusement parks would sign up for that.

Do they have to shine a big "DFS" logo into the sky or would you have an email address?

Do I get 10%?

Sleeping.

I have a strange ability to find stuff that's been lost / misplaced.

I can slow time down when falling off a bike.

I can slow time down when falling off a bike.

I can hit the ground already in the recovery position

Ah well if it's falling off bikes, I have he uncanny ability, rather like a cat landing on its paws, to always land on my head.

I can get comfy on any type of sofa, particularly if there is a telly in front of it. What i'm really good at is emptying bottles of beer whilst on said sofa's.

Supernatural brake squeal.

Ability to lose the thing I just had in my hand without actually having moved- half a bike build time is spent looking for the tool I just had in my hand.

The power of supreme mediocrity

I Was thinking about saying procrastination....

but was beaten to it.

I know where everything is.

I have the uncanny ability to make children desperately need the toilet. All i have to do is drop my breeks and settle myself on the pan like a goose on a nest. Within seconds a child will begin furiously hammering on the door demanding entry.
It's a gift and a curse in equal measure. I'm like the Pied Shiter of Hamelin.

Tangling any electrical flex I touch into an impossible to undo mess of knots. Even when I take time to carefully store them or wrap them around a spindle they end up the same. I could could win medals if it was a sport in the Olympics.

I can make farting noises just using my hands. My Dad taught me.

I can make farting noises just using my hands

I can do this on my eye.

I can gain weight by just looking at food 😳

I am bigDave's nemesis; I can untangle wires and coil them like a technology giotto

I can fix anything with a hammer
I can convince others to fix things for me before I wield the hammer

I once had written - with no apparent attempt at humour or irony - on an appraisal both 'Alex has a singular ability to fire intellectual arrows at the heart of the periphery' and 'Alex sometimes wears his clock of knowledge rather too tightly'.

No idea what either of those meant, but they [i]sound[/i] like superpowers 😉

I can tell a persons animal equivalent with uncanny accuracy. I can also spot strangers who look like older versions of people we know to a very high standard.

I can pick the wrong queue in any supermarket. Also, I can spell queue without looking it up.

Women find me irresistible, its actually a curse.

Alex has a singular ability to fire intellectual arrows at the heart of the periphery

Actual LOL. Are you chatty in work meetings maybe?

No idea on the other one.

I had a waterproof hands for a bit. It was an actual superpower...

I can grow body hair faster than a Yeti. Shave at 7am and by 10am it's all back.....literally on my back.....legs.....chest.....face

Maybe i was snuggled by a radioactive sheep

Most humans have 32 teeth, 8 in each quarter of their respective mouths.

My mutant superpower was to have "nines", an extra pre-molar in my right mandible.

I say past tense because it was cruelly removed by my arch nemesis, a villainous NHS dental surgeon. I shall be avenged.

Awesome at cooking curries.

I can buy bikes and bits for bikes. Although I don't think this super power is rare amongst this forum, but it is everywhere else.

I can make farting noises just using my hands
I can do this on my eye.

Go on then.

I bet you can't make Calgary win a game either. 😉

'Good' in bed doesn't quite cut it. Nor does 'very good'. I am, quite simply, exceptional in bed.

(I can sleep for hours and hours and hours and hours...)

I am exactly 1000x more annoying than the voice of Joe Pasquale.

I have the power of being able to remove the peel of an orange in one piece! I scoff at mere mortals who struggle, hacking away removing small pieces and generally getting covered in orange juice>
Now if I could just work out how to do this silently without the dog hearing me and giving me the saddest of looks that would be great.

I can drop toast butter side up.

Only done it the once mind, not going to spend took much time practicing. Prefer eating it.

I can make a nice cup of tea.

Many people have told me so.

Axe throwing.
Always a very satisfying thunk,but a useless skill unless the zombie apocalypse does happen.
Finding something with the STW search engine,yes I have done this.

I am Low Self Opinionman & I can always get parked in central London !!!

I know pi to 65 decimal places,

I can remember pie to Greggs.

I used to work in fine art transport - in the days before sat nav I used to be able to drive into any provincial town I hadn't visited before and guess where the art gallery would be without looking at the map or the address on the delivery note.

Alex - Member
'Alex has a singular ability to fire intellectual arrows at the heart of the periphery'

I love that this sounds like praise right up until the last word 😀

Meh, apathy.

Based on today's trip from worcester to FOD and back, my super power appears to be using my indicators! Nobody else can manage it so it must be a rare gift, I shall wield it responsibly.....

procrastination

It's by no means a superpower, but the most useless skill I have is being able to do 88 3-ball juggling tricks.

[quote=steveoath ]Procrastination

[quote=tonto ]I Was thinking about saying procrastination....
but was beaten to it.

[quote=yunki ]procrastination

You lot are rank amateurs

Comic Timing!

Self-deprecation.

I can burp on demand and have taught one of my daughter's to do the same.

I peel soft boiled eggs straight out the pan.
[i]I know,I should just do poached eggs,but I is rubbish at them[/i] 🙄

I can maintain a chosen cadence and/or heartrate to with 1% for a given time. My coach tells me it's quite unique, very intriguing, but ultimately useless.

And disco dancing. Super hero disco dancing.

150 rpm, at 190bpm, for 3 hours.

Go!!

150 rpm, at 190bpm, for 3 hours.

Haha, I wish... OK, let's just say within the usual parameters of a mediocre club level cyclist!

I can spontaneously injure myself and not just on mountain bikes

There is video evidence somewhere of me diving from a springboard into the swimming pool and surfacing with a long bleeding cut on my forearm. Clearly not bleeding when I left the board. No contact with the sides or bottom of the swimming pool. Nothing anyone could find in the pool other than water. Freaked out the swimming teacher.