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#Author advocates tying the door so said toddler cannot escape - never had to go that far, myself.
Yep, and our daughter was a raging, non-sleeping mess until we left the door open.
We put books in our kid's bed when she was quite young. After all, if it's you that just can't sleep, what would you do? Would you like someone to force you to lie in bed with your eyes closed?
It worked quite well and still does - the rule is that she has to stay in bed and be quiet. Nowadays (at 5) she practises reading to herself for up to half an hour or so then turns her light off when she's ready to sleep.
A key point was that she didn't sleep during the day, even when she was small. So she was always genuinely tired at bedtime. One of our friends was complaining bitterly about her 2yo not wanting to go to bed at 7, but he was having a three hour nap at 2pm!
Since we're all on mumsnet now, here's how it meant for us:
7 weeks old, gets over colic
8 weeks old, sleeps through
2 years old, needs lots of stories and hugs and then playing on her bed. Falls asleep on her own
3.5 years old, starts waking most nights and appears on our room like a ninja
No, controlled crying has never worked at any of these stages.
She turned 4 in August and started school n September. With a normal bedtime of 8pm, she's started sleeping through again
My lad sleeps right through the night in fact he can be a arse to wake up, especially if he has had a skinfull the night before.
She's well read in psychology and kids' literature. Constantly quotes stats and evidence at me as if it's the **** bible
not read Super Nanny has she? 😉
This is going to be my last foray on to this thread (like anyone cares). Thanks to all and especially Mr Blobby or whoever it was that posted the video with Michael Mackintyre. I needed that earlier today. Sadly, the circular argument continues. The child cannot be left to cry for even a minute, unless the situation demands it (sitting in his car seat or whatever). Not sure where we'll go from here tbh. If we can't agree to a compromise or experimentation, well, that's not good.
User removed - having had oab_no1 who would not sleep for more that 20 mins for the first three+ years of life, I feel your pain. Awful. We resolved by a week of just letting him scream - first night was from 7pm until he lost his voice at 4am. It worked though, and he is no worse for it. In fact our whole family benefitted.
I don't know how to advise you re your wife and her viewpoint. I hope you resolve it.
I've been watching this with interest, I had the same thing, you have my sympathy and empathy. In the end I capitulated and I do not regret it. I regretted it at the time, and had to swallow my pride big time. My kids are now awesome and my wonderful wife has proven herself right. If I hadn't capitulated, I fear that we would not still be together.
Women go through incredibly powerful emotions that they cannot control. My advice, trite as it sounds, is to man up and love her through thick and thin. In the end it will be the right thing. I'm not saying you are wrong, morally or whatever, but sometimes for the sake of the situation, there are things you have to accept. (that is my own experience, I won't judge whatever you do, it worked for me)
Women go through incredibly powerful emotions that they cannot control
I meant this to mean during and after pregnancy. Oxytocin is a starting point here..
My little lad is two and slept 12 hrs a night up until a few months ago. Since turning two he has learnt to fling himself out of his cot like he's doing a tough mudder. He then stands at the gate first shouting 'daddy daddy' like Alan partridge, then switching to 'Andy Andy amdy' before cracking himself up. This is at about 4.30 and he gets scooped up and put into our bed and we have a chat for 30 mins before I'm up for work and he sleeps with his mum till 7.30. Could be stricter but we quite like it to be honest and all seem to sleep enough