The STW commandment...
 

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[Closed] The STW commandments..

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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:42 am
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INRATC


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:44 am
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I am in the process of selling lots of my possessions and plan on downsizing my life into a van, mostly for reasons like the above. And to see the world. On my terms. Who want's to buy a bike riders camper van?! 😉


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:45 am
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I WILL CONTINUE TO IGNORE CAPS LOCK AND LINE SPACING


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:50 am
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Is that comic sans upper case?? How dare he (edit: "OR SHE!" "Yes, thank you Stan"), I'm not reading that either.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:50 am
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I will write properly and if the text is actually important think about taking a pic of the text rather than trying to make a trying to hard artsy comment on the world with little substance. Points off it it's taken with an iPhone


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:55 am
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I hope the person who wrote that isn't spending their entire trustfund on spray paint


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:56 am
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If you think your bike looks good, it does.

If you like the way your bike rides, it’s an awesome bike.

You don’t need to spend a million dollars to have a great bike, but if you do spend a million dollars and know what you want you’ll probably also have a great bike.

Yes, you can tour on your bike – whatever it is.

Yes, you can race on your bike – whatever it is.

Yes, you can commute on your bike – whatever it is.

26” wheels or 29” or 650b or 700c or 24” or 20” or whatever – yes, that wheel size is rad and you’ll probably get where you’re going.

Disc brakes, cantis, v-brakes, and road calipers all do a great job of stopping a bike when they’re working and adjusted.

No paint job makes everyone happy.

Yes, you can put a rack on that. Get some p-clamps if there are no mounts.

Steel is a great material for making bike frames - so is aluminum, carbon fiber, and titanium.

You can have your saddle at whatever angle makes you happy.

Your handlebars can be lower than your saddle, even with your saddle, or higher than your saddle. Whichever way you like it is right.

Being shuttled up a downhill run does not make you a weak person, nor does choosing not to fly off of a 10 foot drop.

Bike frames made overseas can be super cool. Bike frames made in the UK can be super cool.

Hey, tattooed and pierced long shorts wearin flat brim hat red bull drinkin white Oakley sportin rad person on your full suspension big hit bike – nice work out there.

Hey, little round glasses pocket protector collared shirt skid lid rear view mirror sandal wearing schwalbe marathon running pletscher two-leg kickstand tourist – good job.

Hey, shaved leg skinny as hell super duper tan line hear rate monitor checking power tap train in the basement all winter super loud lycra kit million dollar wheels racer – keep it up.

The more you ride your bike, the less your ass will hurt.

The following short answers are good answers, but not the only ones for the question asked – 29”, Brooks, lugged, disc brake, steel, Campagnolo, helmet, custom, Rohloff, NJS, carbon, 31.8, clipless, porteur.

No bike does everything perfectly. In fact, no bike does anything until someone gets on it to ride.

Sometimes, recumbent bikes are ok.

Your bikeshop is not always trying to screw you. They’re trying to stay open.

Buying things off of the internet is great, except when it sucks.

Some people know more about bikes than you do. Other people know less.

Maybe the person you waved at while you were out riding didn’t see you wave at them.

It sucks to be harassed by assholes in cars while you’re on a bike. It also sucks to drive behind assholes on bikes.

Did you build that yourself? Awesome. Did you buy that? Cool.

Wheelies are the best trick ever invented. That’s just a fact.

Which is better, riding long miles, or hanging out under a bridge doing tricks? Yes.

Yes, you can break your collar bone riding a bike like that.

Stopping at stop signs is probably a good idea.

Driving with your bikes on top of your car to get to a dirt trail isn’t ideal, but for most people it’s necessary.

If your bike has couplers, or if you have a spendy bike case, or if you pay a shop to pack your bike, or if you have a folding bike, shipping a bike is still a pain in the ass for everyone involved.

That dent in your frame is probably ok, but maybe it’s not. You should get it looked at.

Touch up paint always looks like shit. Often it looks worse than the scratch.

A pristine bike free of dirt, scratches, and wear marks makes me sort of sad.

A bike that’s been chained to the same tree for three years caked with rust and missing parts makes me sad too.

Bikes purchased at Wal-mart, Target, Costco, or K-mart are generally not the best bang for your buck.

Toe overlap is not the end of the world, unless you crash and die – then it is.

Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.

Yes, you can buy a bike without riding it first. It would be nice to ride it first, but it’s not a deal breaker not to.

Ownership of a truing stand does not a wheel builder make.

32 spokes, 48 spokes, 24 spokes, three spokes? Sure.

Single speed bikes are rad. Bikes with derailleurs and cassettes are sexy. Belt drive internal gear bikes work great too.

Columbus, TruTemper, Reynolds, Ishiwata, or no brand? I’d ride it.

Tubeless tires are pretty cool. So are tubes.

The moral of RAGBRAI is that families and drunken boobs can have fun on the same route, just maybe at different times of day.

Riding by yourself kicks ass. You might also try riding with a group.

Really fast people are frustrating, but they make you faster. When you get faster, you might frustrate someone else.

Stopping can be as much fun as riding.

Lots of people worked their asses off to build whatever trail or road or alley you’re riding on. You should thank them.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:56 am
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[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:58 am
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Rorsash demonstrates the true first commandment of STW:

1. Never read the original post, all the info you will need will be in the thread title. 😀


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:01 am
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Rorschach

Spot on all of those sir!

You have clearly spent waaaaaaaaay tooo much time on here, I see.

😉


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:04 am
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3. Never follow numerical points in order.

KnowI'ddear....copyright to SURLY.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:04 am
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I will 'obide' even though I'm not sure it's actually a thing


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:13 am
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OBIDE?


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:13 am
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I see the lunchtime crowd are in....


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:24 am
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I will 'obide' even though I'm not sure it's actually a thing

I will focus on minor errors and flap around trying to look clever rather than look at and consider the message as a whole, because the message might actually apply to me and I'm probably just too afraid to admit it, let alone do anything about it.

OBIDE?

Ditto.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:27 am
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Thanks Rorschach, please accept your STW PHD.
[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:35 am
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I now know what jive bunnies handwriting looks like, makes note.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:42 am
 Del
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the message might actually apply to me and I'm probably just too afraid to admit it, let alone do anything about it.

while in the meantime you're adopting baby robins?


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 11:51 am
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Brendan Leonard/semi-rad, anyone?


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 1:15 pm
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1) Thou shalt not follow any commandments.
2) Thou art wrong


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 6:08 pm
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There are only 2 rules in this prison
1 you don't write on the walls
2 you obey all the rules

RIP Ronnie Barker


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 6:15 pm
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What does it mean if you try to tell someone to think for themselves?


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 6:37 pm
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That is some savage irony right there.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 6:42 pm
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While reading Rorschach's post, I had it accompanied in my head by Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobious Pip; all it needs is "and thou shalt always, always kill" at the end!
And I heartily concur with everything there, too. 😀


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 8:00 pm
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Rorschach has killed stw and won the internet.chapeau.;-)


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 8:08 pm
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IT WAS'NT ME!!! IT WOS SURLY WOT WRITTED IT!!!! I KANT SPEEL THAT WEL.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 8:10 pm
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IT WAS'NT ME!!! IT WOS SURLY WOT WRITTED IT!!!! I KANT SPEEL THAT WEL.

Good that you are not guilty of forgetting...The stw rules

1 - no actual riding
2 - I don't want to see anyone driving a car that is not an S line Audi with Thule roofrack unless its a Mondeo or Octavia estate and you comment at length that you really don't need anything else
3 - no actual riding
4 - your bike should resemble a filing cabinet
5 - no actual riding
6 - there is noooo rule 6
7 - no actual riding

Imaginary mars bar or healthy alternative if you can name the original sketch 😀


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 8:58 pm
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Thou shall heat thy home with a log burning stove.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 9:10 pm
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@garage-dweller

Monty Python Bruce sketch?


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 9:20 pm
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[i]I am in the process of selling lots of my possessions and plan on downsizing my life into a van, mostly for reasons like the above. And to see the world. On my terms. Who want's to buy a bike riders camper van?![/i]

lol I'm looking to buy a biker camper van 🙂


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 9:21 pm
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@garage-dweller
Monty Python Bruce sketch?

Spot on sir. You may now indulge in said imaginary snack/treat. I am afraid that I have neither of them available in real form.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 9:26 pm
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1 - no actual riding
2 - I don't want to see anyone driving a car that is not an S line Audi with Thule roofrack unless its a Mondeo or Octavia estate and you comment at length that you really don't need anything else
3 - no actual riding
4 - your bike should resemble a filing cabinet
5 - no actual riding
6 - there is noooo rule 6
7 - no actual riding

Australian philosophy faculty.
Can I have an imaginary KitKat please?


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:04 pm
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The best rules
1 to thy'n own self be true.
2 do right fear no one.


 
Posted : 24/07/2015 10:14 pm
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Being the capitalist I am I might get the original post printed on t shirts and flog 'em!


 
Posted : 25/07/2015 6:55 am
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Thou shalt not maketh a machine in the image of mans mind.


 
Posted : 25/07/2015 9:42 am