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All things I was good at last summer, and helped, but have completely failed to do this summer
It's a bit unfair to beat yourself up about this, when summer only started four days ago.
Personally I'm not burntout, just fed up with the covid restrictions and want life to get back to normal. Maybe with WFH 2-3 days a week. I miss going in to the office, being able to go shopping without a bloody mask on, being able to go out for a meal without having to reserve a table (due to reduced tablespace), etc. It's also been a long time since I last had a full week off - Christmas if I'm not mistaken. Anyway I'm off work the week after next, and I'm very much looking forward to that!
The whole situation has definitely taken its toll and it's almost irrelevant what your personal situation is as to how broken you now feel. I'm really toiling on motivation and productivity when WFH now, it was a proper joy at the beginning after a job where i was away 4 days a week and really tired. 18 months later and it's hateful. I work in the office 2-3 days a week and its been revelationary for my mental health - just having brief conversations or a cup of tea with someone creates a proper lift. I've probably got >10% of my staff off with mental health problems - thats a LOT of people and i really worry about them all. As an employer I've done everything I think i can within my power to make things better - yes we're busy but it's so hard to manage people remotely en masse. We've tried blocking out calandars, headspace subs for everyone, extra time off paid, paid family caring time all through the pandemic, full pay all the way through, extra pay this year. This was all to remove one sense of stress around job security and income. None of it really seems to have made much of an impression which is not defeatist just reality. I've fielded a lot of flack in the last couple of months on things i simply cant do anything about and our attrition is now high, but equally hiring in the market is easy as well as everybody seems to 'want a change'. I think we will reflect on this period of time and really look at the long term impact its had. For me, i'm really mentally broken. I'm propping up loads of people and doing what i can to manage myself but it's not easy. What i have learned is to not beat myself up about stuff and have some time, i get up every morning at 5:45 and either sit with a cuppa and just enjoy the birds or ride my bike if i feel like it. That has properly set me up for very day.
Some great advice and tips on here.
The main thing to take away is that a huge number of people are feeling like this. It's not "you" and "your problem. "You" are not failing.
Add me to the list of people getting ground down by my job and life in general, although as others have said I'm still in a much more fortunate position than many so just getting on with it really.
I should probably look to make a big change like moving jobs but there's the old "better the devil you know", the company I work for along with colleagues and managers are all pretty decent and on paper my role is mostly what I'd want to be doing if I switched job so probably a high chance I could end up in a worse situation.
It's a tough one, when you've been sat in your kitchen for the last 14 months trying to work I'm pretty sure any other job will appear appealing - i did 7 exit interviews in the last 2 weeks, all said basically that. 2 had what I would describe as solid job changes, the other 5 were just fed up and changing job seemed like a way to promote change. What was interesting was all were quite negative about their experience which I was genuinely interested to understand and in amongst it were a couple of proper nuggets about things perhaps we could have done better, some of it was pure situation stuff - i've had no team interactions, there's been no socials (!), i didn't feel like i was being connected with enough stuff like that. What was also blinking interesting was absolutely none had any positive feedback on us stating last March that we'd not lay anyone off or reduce pay (or indeed furlough or take any government money), they just assumed that was how it was. I've been properly fascinated by all the feedback and have tried to make sense of it but failed on a few points for sure. One said it would have been nice for me to have rung him every couple of days - I've got 450 staff FFS - all his immediate chain of command did, but he wanted me to. That made me a bit sad actually as it was utterly impossible to do.
Anyway this has turned into me moaning as I don;t have many people to moan to !
If you're burned out you can't just keep going, you need to make a change.
But also this vvv
The main thing to take away is that a huge number of people are feeling like this. It’s not “you” and “your problem. “You” are not failing.
Sometimes stuff does just suck, and it's often not your fault.
The main thing to take away is that a huge number of people are feeling like this. It’s not “you” and “your problem. “You” are not failing.
+1
I have to make an effort to remind myself that this shitty situation isn't directed at me personally, and that we're all affected by it. So definitely don't fall into the trap of thinking this.
If it helps anyone, today has become a complete "**** it it's Friday" day for me. (Not just work, further bad news on my FiL's health)
Doing the minimum, finishing early, might test my dodgy back with an easy 5 mile ride. And determined not to feel guilty for it.
This thread has come at a good time for me as well. Properly struggling balancing work with any semblance of life at the moment. And getting pretty damned chubby as well annoyingly!
Industry is absolutely flat out right now so looks like other jobs might be available but also concerned it might be same shit different logo and what I really want to do is just totally change direction.
Meh, its the weekend so should get out on the bike. Massive correlation between the amount of riding and my mood these days. Never really ridden much with other people but think that might be something I would like to try as well. How the hell do you find grownups to go play in the woods with????
How the hell do you find grownups to go play in the woods with????
If only there were some sort of internet forum you could post on to identify willing MTBers local to you.
😉
You need a change of role. A friend was in a similar situation last year. Left for another company to do a similar role and is back feeling the same (and worse). Time away might be another option - paid leave/sabbatical/sickness.
I liken this to training. You cannot train at 90-100% all the time. You need to train at 50-70% with plenty of reserve to call on for events. At work those events are the pinnacle, when your best input and most efficient delivery are needed. Companies, and I work for a big one, would quite like that sustained event-level performance permanently. It simply is not possible.
Staff retention figures will be a leading indicator. They aren't normally shared for a reason.
I liken this to training. You cannot train at 90-100% all the time. You need to train at 50-70% with plenty of reserve to call on for events
Ben Cathro's new series on PB touches on this. Actually, the guy he rides with mentions it. Basically he practices something to the point were is isn't going to get frustrated. He leaves plenty in the tank for the next session. Makes sense actually.
Have to say going part time was the best move I've ever made work wise. I have Wednesdays off and go on a local group road ride. Highlight of my week and I get all my 'social fill' in those 5 hours which makes up for WFH on my own the other four days.
What was also blinking interesting was absolutely none had any positive feedback on us stating last March that we’d not lay anyone off or reduce pay (or indeed furlough or take any government money), they just assumed that was how it was.
It sounds like you’re doing a good job. As a contractor I’m often taken aback by how much staff people take for granted.
As a contractor I’m often taken aback by how much staff people take for granted.
As a former freelancer of 10 years, I felt exactly the same when I took a staff role 2.5 years ago.
Exacerbated by my sharing an office with a load of entitled 20 and 30-something manchild software developers.
But I'm now very grateful for the extent to which I can take the piss with work, if I need to.
Reading this and thinking "me too" to a lot of it.
Thanks to OP and everyone who's replied, good to know the feelings are pretty common eh.
Today I stopped work at 4pm, out the door 4:15 on my bike. Did a skid pulling up to my mates house at 4:20 and shouted to his wife if he could come out to play. We were in the woods 10 minutes later, hit Swinley red 5 mins after that. Rode red and blue, then home for tea and beer. Just opened another, life is good.
Make time for fun stuff!
Nature. Be in nature, take part in making nature happen, be in a place with trees, plant things, have a veg patch, plant a hedge or a tree and watch them grow. Start feeding the birds, start observing nature.
It's going back to the very basics but it gives rewards.
Build a pond, watch what happens when creatures seem to come from nowhere and make it their habitat. Marvel that every spring frogs will spawn, tadpoles will grown and turn into frogs, these will keep your garden pest free.
Sit, listen and look at nature.
If you haven't got a garden, ask a friend if they would like a pond. It's mesmerising.
I'm sounding like a tree hugger but in all seriousness being observant to your natural surroundings will really help.
we’ve got 2 kids and so stuck to their holiday schedules, but still managed to go away (abroad) 4 times last year and once this year so far.
As a teacher, I'd like to thank you for taking your kids abroad during a global pandemic and contributing to the spread of Covid in schools. Thank you, you clearly are a more important person than everyone else.
Came here for the burnout posts, stayed for the judgemental attitudes.
Came here for the burnout posts, stayed for the
judgemental attitudes.sarcastic response to incredible lack of empathy and self awareness
As a teacher, I’d like to thank you for taking your kids abroad during a global pandemic and contributing to the spread of Covid in schools. Thank you, you clearly are a more important person than everyone else.
Just out of curiosity why are foreign holidays more risky than staycations?
Just out of curiosity why are foreign holidays more risky than staycations?
At the moment, they're probably not as we've got a higher disease rate than most countries, although whether it's fair on those countries to travel to them from a higher rate country is a different question.
When we had low rates, mixing with people from higher rate countries increased the chance of getting it.
At the moment, they’re probably not as we’ve got a higher disease rate than most countries, although whether it’s fair on those countries to travel to them from a higher rate country is a different question.
When we had low rates, mixing with people from higher rate countries increased the chance of getting it.
that’s why I don’t see why he is getting so much hate. Last summer we had two holidays booked before the pandemic hit. One foreign in an area of low covid outbreak and one domestic visiting family in an area of high covid outbreak. Guess which one we were legally allowed to go on. I will give a clue it’s not the one the would generate negative comments on this thread.
If he was sensible I don’t understand why he is being persecuted just because the holidays were to a foreign country. Many foreign countries have been better at managing the outbreak than ours Especially last year. That along with all the additional quarantine requirements of a foreign holiday they were probably safer than a domestic one.
Foreign doesn’t mean high risk. No more than domestic means low risk.
Thought this thread was supposed to be about support
Yeah I also could live without all the sniping, whichever direction it’s going in to be honest.
Haven’t been abroad myself but I’m not here to judge other people. Presumably the poster in question was allowed to go on holiday, when he went.
Shall we just drop the unpleasantness and get back to being nice?
Hope everyone's having a good weekend.
Just out of curiosity why are foreign holidays more risky than staycations?
Different variants of the virus could be brought to schools where social distancing is not in place. (What you see at the gate is very different to what happens in the classrooms and canteen).
The recent Sky news report brought to light new statistics stating the vast majority of current cases are in younger people. They are mostly asymptomatic too and there has been outbreaks in schools recently.
In another news report this morning there were cases abroad that have affected people who have recieved both vaccines, proving the new variants are more resistant to the current vaccine.
Regardless of the allowablity. I'm not sure waltzing into a thread where someone has reasons for not doing so but is overall struggling. And then bragging about your going on holiday was a fair opener.
And then bragging about your going on holiday was a fair opener.
Exactly. I think there would be more sympathy if it wasn't for that.
Not sure if this belongs here- I didn’t want to start another (more negative) thread.
I’m struggling at the moment, and trying to keep it all in perspective (as a household we are financially better off than 18 months ago, no job uncertainty etc) but can’t help feeling really down recently.
This morning typifies life at the moment- the in-laws (and sister in law) are staying with us for the weekend. They are ok, but way to loud (mostly drunk) and messy for my liking. Pane of stained glass in the front door already cracked on Friday due to their clumsiness. I decided to go for a run for some space, 30 mins in and feeling ok, I half turned to stop a gate from slamming shut behind me on a footpath. Lower back (which has been giving me sciatic pain for weeks and was feeling much better) goes POP. Now have pain in both legs, and a 5+km walk home.
Spent most of it stressing about next week at work, lots of driving with back pain, and a day on my feet at an expo I don’t want to be at. The only ‘bright’ spot coming up this week was visiting my grandma on Tuesday between my work appointments. She’s just had a mastectomy after being diagnosed with cancer at 87.
Got home pretty much ready to quit my job and kick the in-laws out of my house. Instead I’ve just retreated to lying on the floor and moaning on the internet.
And then bragging about your going on holiday was a fair opener.
I didn’t read his post as bragging i read it as encouraging that taking a break and going on holiday is possible. He then gave his own examples of what he had done to prove it was possible.
Different variants of the virus could be brought to schools where social distancing is not in place.
Well aware that what goes on in schools I assume that is why they have introduced mass biweekly testing and targeted home schooling.
Variants have also originated in this country in September last year it was safer to visit Iceland than Kent for example. It is not an exclusively foreign thing.
A few things that work for me (that may or not work for others), feel free to disregard.
Write a list the night before of tomorrow's jobs - whether work, house related etc - even if they're small (cut your hair/shower/send an e-mail). Feels good to cross them off, and will result in less procrastination. Loads of jobs crossed off at the end of the day will make you feel you've achieved something.
Exercise if you have the time - walk/run/ride/swim/gym/whatever. It'll take your mind off things and make you feel great. You won't ever regret a workout.
Cold showers - end your shower with a minute on cold (then progress to longer). It feels good after a few seconds, and makes you feel amazing afterwards.
Get rid of the junk food in the house, and batch cook - you'll eat healthier, feel so much better and will have more time to exercise/ride/read/whatever.
Also, social media can obviously bring you down, so try quitting that for a bit. It's not good for you to constantly see everyone else's highlights.
The above list is absolutely spot on for me (apart from the cold showers- must try!)
Massively fallen off the exercise wagon since workload has increased back to pre Covid levels. I have to bear the brunt of the work as it's my business and we had to lay off 2 employees (delivery drivers) due to Covid.
It's still a few months before we can look to re employ a couple of drivers, so myself and my wife will have to carry on filling in whilst the workload keeps piling up. Great to be a success after a long year of uncertainty, but now find myself in the position of burnout.
14 hour days and 6 day weeks are proving harder now than when I started the business and was quite a few years younger!
Managed to get out for a 15 mile ride this weekend and a 6 mile walk with the dog this morning.
I look back with fondness last year when my business was forced to shut for 2 months and I was riding 80-100 off road miles a week. Dog walks every day, time with family. Encouraging the kids to get involved with the cooking and some DIY. Had no money, but after a while, that anxiety faded and I lived a great life.
Now back in the rat race.
One thing I should have added (sounds stupid but works) is if you do start writing a list of tomorrow's jobs, then if you end up fixing / doing something not originally on the list, then write it on and then immediately cross it off. Otherwise you may have a very productive day, but your original list will look untouched and you'll feel you haven't achieved much.
Also, work out all the stuff you hate doing (weekly/daily shop, washing up etc) and see if there's an inexpensive way of cutting that out. i.e. Home delivery - doesn't cost any extra really, saves time and means less impulse buys. (Second hand if money's tight?) Dishwasher saves you 20 mins a day. Streamline all the jobs you hate, and it gives you more time to do the stuff you love.
A little ray of sunshine has appeared on my horizon.
Since last April when this started my routine for working on the ship has gone from 4 weeks on/off to 6 on/off. But losing 2 weeks of the off cycle to a hotel isolation before departure. And a very basic hotel too, limited food options, no booze, no gym etc.
So it has been effectively 8 on 4 off. However, those of us who get fully vaccinated go down to 6 days isolation. Making it 7 on 5 off.
My lot, TBH, hadn't been as much of a struggle as some have had. Job has been secure, extra pay due to lost leave. It's just been very tedious and tiring
In my industry, the work on the ship is none stop for 6 weeks, no time in port, every single day is a 12 hour shift.
Time off is a precious chance to recharge, regain fitness both mentally and physically, losing big chunks of it has been rotten.
6 day isolations will be a massive difference.
.
That's bang out of order that you have to isolate on your own time seadog.
Now back in the rat race.
I nearly came to virtual blows on a Teams meeting yesterday. I managed to keep a calm exterior but….
I’ve just had one of the hardest Sales quarters I’ve ever had. Crucial deadlines, big tenders, tier 1 clients, late nights, early mornings…. Now this has result in being - spoiler alert- 97% to my annual target already having closed one of many vital deals at 10:30pm on the 30th.
Now, I prefer to work smarter than harder. Don’t get me wrong I do work hard - about 60hrs a week, but I don’t volunteer my weekends or openly work long days/answer emails on days off unless there’s a very good reason. And if I do I don’t advertise it so that it doesn’t become an expectation. So today we find ourselves having “Global Recharge Day” - the company has shutdown so we all have a free day to relax. Strict orders not to work, look at emails etc.
Yesterdays call then, was one of me finding a short term Tender which needs to be in on the 13th - right in our sweet spot and high value. This means it’s a lot of hard word for a bid team at short notice, but we democratically agreed as a consortium and as is the process to go ahead. At which point one of my colleagues asked “Will you be working at the weekend Steve?” I responded because of my stance above “No comment”. His retort was (He’s a project manager) “Well, despite the fact everyone else is having the day off I’ll be working becuase customers still need their projects. Typical of Sales to throw work around then enjoy themselves while we all miss our family time”.
I mean wow, that’s his choice, if the CEO says “down tools” and he doesn’t, why should I be to blame? And as I already knew, he doesn’t “get” sales, he just sees suits, watches and swanning around the country (pre Covid) having lunches.
Anyway sorry for the Demi rant, but I’m glad today I have a day to do bugger all other than change the tyres on my bike and drink coffee, I really needed it before I committed a virtual crime on someone in the manner of the famous Homer/Bart scene.
Raising a coffee to you all, take the time out and don’t entertain idiots.
From the beginning of the year, my boss has slowly transformed from being a good manager to micromanaging the hell out of me. He told me today that I can't switch off my computer until he has confirmed he has all the information he needs, including weekends. I only receive feedback after he has finished meetings, so that means staying by the computer until 7ish if/when he calls. I'm close to burnout.
Luckily, I've been offered an interview at another company. Fingers crossed.
Luckily, I’ve been offered an interview at another company. Fingers crossed.
Good luck!
He told me today that I can’t switch off my computer until he has confirmed he has all the information he needs, including weekends. I only receive feedback after he has finished meetings, so that means staying by the computer until 7ish if/when he calls.
WTF!?
I'd just be leaving it on with a screen saver...
I’d just be leaving it on with a screen saver…
Ah see now my toddler spilt milk on it due to it being out during family time.
I’d just be leaving it on with a screen saver…
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