MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
The hymn thread got me thinking about some of my old school teachers. Not the kind, caring and influential ones, the others, the ones who really shouldn’t have been teachers at all.
A couple spring to mind.
Mr Adi - Best described as a man possessed by a religious fever and an obsession with pockets. Can’t recall if it was primary or secondary school that he taught. He would belt out hymns as if his very life depend on it. Face turning purple and eagle eyes watching us. Knowing that when we were singing the lyrics to thank you we were actually saying **** you, but unable to prove it.
He also had a serious dislike of young men utilising pockets as a place to rest ones hands. He’d literally point and yell POCKETS! I was also once the recipient of the best verbal abuse I’ve ever heard courtesy of him. Think I was fighting and heard “You boy! Stop it! You beast of the field” absolute mad man.
We also had Mr Woodcock (affectionately known as balsa balls) in high school. Bear in mind that this was the 90’s. He had everyone sat at individual old time desks, the ones where the top flipped up. Oddly he was the only teacher to have these in the whole school. He also only referred to pupils by their surnames. Genuinely seemed to detest kids too. Ironically he was a history teacher and clearly stuck in the 70’s.
There were others such as Mr “it has to be aesthetically pleasing” Peagram. A man who only cared how your work looked, content be damned. He should have worked in quality control. I was clearly blessed with the B and C grade teachers.
Mine were mostly just sad and pitiful, but our metalwork shop teacher was just a *. Scottish ex-military bald headed sadistic *.
We had loads. Some right sadistic nasty twunts.
Not one of the violent ones but we had a science teacher who was weird one, he wouldn't let anyone use the yellow flame on bunsen burners as it created soot on the ceiling, so we ignored H&S and left then on with almost invisible blue flames.
our metalwork shop teacher was just a *. Scottish ex-military bald headed sadistic *.
I think there was a scheme at one point to draft people from other careers into teaching - particular technical and trade stuff. Probably around the time of the 'Raising of the School Leaving Age' as it would have meant schools needed and extra year-group worth of teachers. (We had a block called the RSLA because it was built for that purpose)
We had two metal work teachers, they were brothers and had both come from engineering straight into teaching seemingly without the inconvenience of being taught to teach. They both looked a bit like werewolves from a 50s movie - the sort that would wear a tweed suit- in fact they looked like two frames from a transformation sequence.
The first project you'd do would be making a coat hook - the idea being that it would take you through a range of basic principles - a square backplate with a bent lollypop shaped bar riveted to it. So you got to file the sides of the plate straight and square, mark out some holes, drill them, counter sink them, round the ends of some flat bar drill it - bend it, and hammer in a couple of rivets.
Simple.
However they exerted such a degree of quality control - scrupulously checking the straightness and squareness of side one of the square before you moved on to side two that after 4 years there was only me and one other who succeeded in completing it. Not in my class - across the whole year. Some people never got beyond side four of their square.
We had another guy who taught technical drawing - he was the school board-rubber thrower. Not because he was any sort of disciplinarian he just seemed to like throwing them.
He ran a 'film club' during school lunch breaks - very few people would go to it as we'd rather be playing outside. We'd all joke that the only reason people would go to it was because he was showing 8mm porn films. It turned out the truth was he was showing 16mm porn films.
However they exerted such a degree of quality control – scrupulously checking the straightness and squareness of side one of the square before you moved on to side two that after 4 years there was only me and one other who succeeded in completing it. Not in my class – across the whole year. Some people never got beyond side four of their square.
Actually laughed out loud at that!
Sounds like something from Ripping Yarns!
Mrs Valins, she detested kids, she was horrible, why she was a teacher I'll never know.
Mr Day, he was a supply teacher, he never bothered with the curriculum and taught whatever he felt like, consequently he was a favourite teacher. He was also an ex officer and everybody behaved and he never had to raise his voice. Merely "the look" would silence the class.
If anyone lives in Moseley / Balsall Heath I think I left my prized coathook screwed to a door in an old shop I used to live in when I was a student there.
I might ask you to knock on a door in Ladypool Road and see if I can have it back 🙂
Mrs McQueen, my Primary 6 teacher once lifted me clean off the ground by my ears.
She was possessed of unnatural strength and cruelty and got into a bit of trouble for throwing a metal desk at Jim Fisher who was the year below me.
This was my maths teacher.
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/shelley-college-andrew-green-banned-9153546
No names but a primary school teacher who used to give us dead legs and barbers knock. Chemistry teacher who threw wooden black board rubbers at kids on back row who weren’t paying attention. Secondary school music teacher who lent me his car on a regular basis whilst I was 17 - no favours were given in response I hasten to add!
Different world back then as I know from a teacher mate recently who got suspended for ages for the most trivial divergence from the management’s let’s back the little shits over the teachers “disciplinary policy”
My kids head teacher
What's a Barbers Knock? Not heard that one.
When I was 13 my history teacher was a big fan of Spain so he got all of us little boys to dress up in Spanish school smocks and took pictures. I never heard of him doing anything else but looking back it was a little bit weird.
My chemistry teacher used to smoke his pipe in class. He once threw a pebble-sized bit of sodium out of the window into a bowl of water 2 floors down*. I spent my GCSE years thinking 'wow, chemistry is really hard' - it's because he was teaching us the A-level syllabus. It was only after moving to college for my A-levels that I realised I actually liked the subject - so much so that I'm now a chemistry teacher. I often think of him as whatever the opposite of a role model is.
*this sounds cool and fun. In reality it was less good than a smaller demo up close and it was really stupid and dangerous.
I doubt that getting called a spastic and a pratt all in one sentence would go down very well these days.
I had a teacher call me a bastard once. I don’t blame him though, I was a bit of a dick as a teenager.
My friends in a neighbouring school had a teacher who, with the assistance of a pupil he was having an affair with, murdered his wife.
I had a Mr Gascoine science teacher, what an arsehole he was. I also had an English teacher who was an arse as well.
The problem with having 2 older brothers go through some of the same teachers meant I was automatically at a disadvantage. Must have been hell for my younger sister 🙂
Sodium in a plastic coke bottle with a drop of water in the bottom is fun 🙂
I was at secondary school in the '60s. We had one teacher, a polio victim, with calipers on both legs. Known to pupils and teachers alike as Clank.
An art teacher, in the days when women's foundation garments took on a different profile, was similarly referred to as Torpedo Tits. Like car batteries in those days, nocturnal discharges were common.
Had lots but the worst was a sports teacher Mr Wilson.
He had played for Glasgow Rangers in their youth teams but injury meant he never made it and somehow ended up teaching in a shit school in Maidstone.
He clearly liked a drink and had a filthy temper. Whenever I heard him bollocking kids in the coridors he would always end with "my office 9 o clock tomorrow" as he walked away "There'll be trouble in the mornin"
If you walked past his office at 9 you would hear him screaming at whoever he had in there.
He would bite himself really hard, I watched him once really gnawing away at his fingers to the point where it looked like he would draw blood and another time tucking in to his wrist.
In my 4th year we had a football match against another school in the evening. They used to keep all the decent equipment in the office of the gym/changing room building. I was the first one changed and thought I'd grab the match ball. Opened the office door to see him with his tracky bottoms round his ankles taping a bin liner around his waist.
I grabbed the ball & bolted for the pitch. we were having a warm up and he joined in whilst the other school got ready and I saw there was a massive wet patch on his tracky bottoms. At the time I thought he must have pissed himself but looking back I think maybe he was trying to sweat off weight.
Not long after I left he got pissed on a school trip to Chessington and fell asleep on the coach back. some of the kids threw paper in his mouth. He woke up and apparently assualted more than one. It was close to the end of the school year and the following september he was promoted to Head of year.
I've Mr Sanderson and Mr Rodgers to thank for being inspiring outdoor people, who took us to the hills, ran a sailing club and generally 'got' me.
Mr King the chain smoking CDT teacher not only got his tie in the planet one day in front of the class, he also was seen collecting a jerry can of petrol for his VW T2 one lunchtime - while puffing on a woodbine...
There was also Miss Rogers who everyone fancied, and drove the school minibus like Stirling Moss. We took to putting on the climbing helmets of ever she drove...
Finally there was the PE teacher who swore at me and basically didn't speak to me for two years after I gave up county level rugby to sail competitively. It was nice to pop back into school the year after I left to pass my (loaner) bronze trophy for Tempest world champs back to a school friend, who could return it to the club. I met said PE teacher that day, who still wasn't impressed. It transpires he was also being sacked for getting one of the sixth formers pregnant...
Too old to remember my teachers. Would be interesting to know what the kids thought about me during my teacher training this year though.
My Latin teacher was Mr Lavelle. Always wore the black teachers robe if you remember them. First year we had to learn 10 words each night. You got the belt for every word you got wrong. It certainly focused the mind.
I had a maths teacher wore a manky suit all year and in the winter still had his paisley pattern jammies on underneath , you could see at the cuffs and ankles, his stained tie could have been a substitute for a stock cube and to top it all his rotten teeth breath almost killed you.
A fellow 6th former was on a night out in a local town when he had to use the dodgy back street bogs, the sort they now close down without second thought. He became aware of someone looking through a hole in the the cubical wall making jerky movements and a beckoning motion. Finishing as hastily as possible and exiting past the cubical, the door was open and he saw none other than one of our 6th form tutors. I will not name him here for obvious reasons.
Other than that, I was a good and quiet boy so never attracted much negative attention.
I was pinned to the wall by my throat by one of the teachers. He spat through gritted teeth "Have you ever had your nose broken???". I said "Yes" (I had). The head used to get a semi when he gave me the cane. I got 24 lashes because I told other kids about it. I collared him after I'd left school. I had a green mohawk & all that went along with it. The little turd shrank like a salted slug. The metal work teacher was a raging alcoholic who refused to pronounce my surname correctly. I got suspended for throwing a chisel at that idiot. He was knocking off one of the pupils a few years later 🙄
Seamanship teacher who told us stories about his time at sea in the old days 😬
Wouldn't notice us having a smoke when we were walking to harbour to go to the boats.
Let us watch 'mutiny on the bounty' on rainy days, but always asked us to shut our eyes when the natives had their tits out.
Also taught us sex education 😂😂😂
Most of my teachers were ok. Some better than others, some clearly nice people but clueless. The worst was a deputy head teacher who bullied kids. It was a nice school with very few problems in comparison with other schools. But this maggot used to scream and shout at kids for the most minor misdemeanours. He lived in the small town. I still don’t know how he didn’t get a beating from former pupils when went to the shops.
On the flip side was a brilliant teacher in 6th form. He spoke to us like adults, explained how the content of his lessons applied to the real world and would have a laugh. Best of all was him teaching us about betting odds and horse racing form. It was the early days of internet betting, we were 16 or 17 years old and had online accounts. He thought it was a game and not for real money. With his help me and a couple of mates ended up with a tidy profit from our online betting.
We had a PE teacher who used to join us in the showers (naked, of course).
The run back from the games fields to the changing rooms was faster than any running we did during the lesson (stick head under shower and get fully dressed before the teacher got there).
JP
Here's hoping teachers are screened a bit better nowadays but was it not maybe a job for life, turn a blind eye etc. When it came to the tawse there were the occasional sadistic bar stewards
On the positive side there was "Knogger" Knight, hard as nails woodwork teacher. He'd spent WW2 driving armoured cars around North Africa shooting up targets of opportunity. His nickname was from Nocker i.e. hitting people with thrown offcuts but I never met anyone who had seen him do it. The reputation was enough. He was a lovely man.
There was also Jimmy Clinch, my chemistry teacher. He did throw the board rubber at people in a rage but only in the first couple of lessons and always narrowly missed. We then behaved.
Not in any way a bad teacher but we had a very overly thoughtful chemistry teacher - almost strangled by his own academia. Struggled to get information across to kids because he was constantly side-tracked by over explanations. He was also all about the theory - practical demonstration were a bit slapstick at best.
He was tasked with heading the school assembly on one rare occasion and decided to use the platform to address the looming terror of AIDS. (this was around the time of the dark, brooding 'Don't die of Ignorance' campaign). Very noble - but he just rambled incoherently for ages, long into lesson time, and the only take-away was his repeated cautionary warnings about 'fluids'
Seamanship teacher
Is nobody else going to pick up on this? What kind of school did you go to? Why didn’t I have nautically themed lessons?
Our R.E teacher, Mr Taylor was one of those that spent their school holidays bumbling around the third world laying hands on people to heal them, proper loon.. Once he made the mistake of asking the class what we thought of religion. Made the mistake of asking me first, my answer of "its all witch craft and bull shit" didn't go down too well. For years he would cross the road if he saw me coming, that was back in 1991 and to this day cant look me in the eye
We had a PE teacher that was an absolute legend. Former professional footballer until his career was ended by a car crash.
Famous for taking an under-15 criket team on tour and stopping off at a pub on the way back to buy everyone a pint. The outpouring of gratitude on his death, from kids that he'd turned around and given a direction to, was quite incredible.
Other than that the head was a crazed gorilla who terrified everyone and sacrificed the whole school to send one kid a year to Oxford.
Is nobody else going to pick up on this? What kind of school did you go to? Why didn’t I have nautically themed lessons?
It was originally set up to prepare people for a career as a Merchant Navy Officer.
Not sure if there any others?
funkmasterp
Subscriber
Seamanship teacherIs nobody else going to pick up on this? What kind of school did you go to? Why didn’t I have nautically themed lessons?
Normal high school, but in 3rd/4th year we had option of doing navigation or seamanship. School had 2 big wooden rowing boats and a small dory with outboard engine.
Did morse code, lights, flags and shapes, and just generally mucked about
The English teacher who'd arrive for the first lesson after lunch in an absolutely foul mood. Ten minutes in he'd disappear into the stationary cupboard for 5 minutes. Then reappear in a brilliant mood but absolutely reeking of whiskey.
The music teacher (who was also the head) of my comprehensive school. Who'd wear a teacher's gown in the early 80's and so acquired the nickname Batman. When he'd take us for music, he'd stand at the front with a baton and conduct the symphony we'd be listening to on the record player. The whole class had to follow the printed score with our fingers (we had absolutely no idea how what we were hearing corresponded to the notes on the page). He'd get very carried away with his baton at times and the kid I sat next to was an inveterate giggler. I'd be trying my hardest not to start laughing as this often meant the teacher smacking whoever was around the head with his baton.
Can’t remember any really awful teachers, there were a couple who used either blackboard erasers or pieces of chalk on pupils who were mucking about, and one PE teacher who had an old plimsole with no insole which he used to chastise any misbehaving pupils, didn’t half sting, too!
There were some really excellent ones as well, Mr Freeman who took Tech Drawing, which I really enjoyed, and which helped immensely when I started working in print and publishing; Mr Wanless, who took us for music, and who played pop and rock records as well as classical for us to analyse, and Mr Smith, a maths teacher, who I became good friends with, (and who’s wife’s sister later married one of my best mates from my class), and who really encouraged my interest in science fiction, lending me books from his own collection.
There was a geography teacher, whose name now escapes me, who taught me loads about physical geography, a subject that still fascinates me to this day, and who later bought the old school house where my dad was taught when he was a kid!
All good people and teachers.
Mrs m, secondary school teacher,looked like Margret Rutherford we where bored one day in her boring lesson, so she said i think ill get more sence talking to these bricks in the wall, one lad muttered go on then, so she did for 5 minutes, 4 minutes of which the head master stood at the back of the class.
Mr B a teacher fond of well developed lads, they always got good marks and got invited to his house for extra lessons, he was also a close freind of Mr Bar, they both did the photography club and school disco at lunch times, strange the doors would be locked and the lights fail in a brand new building, quite often, mr b then transfered to another school and drove the minibus taking kids to school, via a very circuitous route, but only boys carried.
Mr G having an affair Miss P, who got pregnant.
Mr Thomas headmaster, now deceased,we turned up 20 mins late one day because the bus had broke down,where marched into hall for assembly and told to stand at side of hall, one lad leaned agaist pillar, and was screamed at dont lean on pillar, which he ignored, Mr Thomas flew off the stage and punched this lad who fell sideways against the next lad and brought us all down, in a slow domino fall, this seemed to inflame Mr Thomas even more he ranted and raved, before a teacher at the back burst out laughing , never to appear in school again.
Another teacher, wild and anger management problems,teaching maths badly,hated kids and would teach from back of class with sums on the board,which he would talk us through,i just asked my mate what he was going on about for him to hit me across the head and launched me over the desk,found out later he didnt stand in front of class because he dint like us kids looking at him.
Another teacher of maths,lad in front taking not much notice of him so he swings a 4 foot board ruler made of plastic in front of his face, hitting the lad on top of head and down his nose,cutting it all open, lots of blood,another teacher not seen again.
Then us chess club lads, mad chemistry teacher left bottle of acid out,which spilt on a chess set and melted it,chess club ended.
I left school well balanced and happy, along with being eccentric.
Actually, too dull 😀
Anyone looking fir a book that resonates with this thread, particularly if you're a scot, a tale etched in blood and hard black pencil by Christopher Brooklmyre is an absolute joy.
Perchy, you'd love it.
Our PE teacher used to do his lesson debrief in the changing rooms. He was always fond of the swimming classes - used to hang around for ages talking about technique.
His downfall was something far more mundane when a lot of the equipment for the new school gym was mysteriously duplicated on the invoice and, at exacly the same time, he got a new rowing machine, exercise bike and some free weights. Very strange coincidence.
my applied maths a level teacher, ok in the morning, but the afternoon lessons were something else after quite a few lunch time whiskies his scotish drawl was completely uncomprehensible, think slurring rab c nesbit !
gobuchul
It was originally set up to prepare people for a career as a Merchant Navy Officer.
Not sure if there any others?
It's hazy now, but I think there was one on the west coast of Scotland. I wanted to go to it but my father refused to sign the papers.
He was a ex First Mate and 2 of his ships were sunk in WW2. Virtually none of his MN friends survived the war.
Had a primary school teacher who'd throw the window open, put her legs up on her desk and smoke.
Senior school has quite a list:
Blatantly racist PE teacher.
Music teacher would walk out of the classroom if we were too loud. Guess what.... we were loud.
A RE teacher who'd just come in and write at warp speed on the rolling blackboard with his back to us and not teach. I gave up trying to keep up and would just sit there as others threw things at him.
A geography teacher who would beast pupils in a military fashion. I always remember a kid being made to hold his arms out horizontally, if they dipped, the teacher went mental, the kid ended up a crying mess. He was the blackboard eraser thrower.
A DT teacher who in hindsight was clearly in the full throws of a nervous breakdown.
PE teachers would slipper you with your own shoes, the head would cane us.
Plus some weird & wacky characters.
Funnily enough I didn't enjoy education and it didn't take me long to figure out to just pop in for registration & then go home.
Mr Burt, physics teacher who was fond of plimsolling...well, anyone really. just as long as he could wallop someones arse, he was happy...took a run up at one of my mates, he had to stand in for the Chemistry teacher who was ill for a term and like qwerty's teacher would dictate at high speed and you''d spend all lesson with hand cramp from all the writing. More racist games teachers. A mad Irish groundsman, who'd come out at break with a tractor and gang mower to keep the fields mowed, he take aim at kids (I'm not joking, he was sacked for it eventually).
Some really good ones though. My head of year took great care of me through a bit of family crisis, thanks Mr Taylor, you were a rock.
I had an RE teacher who was an absolute legend. I don't recall him ever teaching me anything about the subject. Lessons instead seemed to revolve around him recounting amusing incidents from a long and varied life, usually illustrated in some way with a complicated diagram on the whiteboard and always with a practical point behind them.
Also another teacher who treated everyone as an adult and had this way of getting the best from anyone he taught. A simply wonderful man. Retired now but we still catch up for a drink from time to time.
Honorable mention for my A-Level physics teacher who joined us for a celebratory night out after the exams and got so plastered we had to carry him home, where he promptly threw up on the mat when his wife opened the door.
Memorable teachers
http://www.hullgeolsoc.co.uk/gobbett.htm
Mike "moon rocks" O'Hara, for that "****, I can do this" moment.
Mr Hughes, French and his lesson on the EU when Britain joined
Mrs Hunt, French for opening so many doors
Mr Haggit, Physics, thanks for the "o"level lessons in your own time in a secondary modern that only did CSEs
Mr Slater, English. Well how do you folks think he did?
Mr Griffin for the ability to machine, weld, solder and turn bits of metal into useful
objects
Mr Shaw Maths, sorry I've forgotten nearly all of it but it was useful when I needed it.
The music teachers, the kids were utter arses with you, but thanks, I'm still using what I learned every day.
As for most of my class mates, threw the chances away didn't you, idiots.
This has reminded me of my GCSE maths teacher. She had students who she'd never let you ask a question, regardless of how long you had your hand up patiently waiting. I was off ill for the first week of the two week coursework, didn't get an extension and she didn't even give me the coursework info, another student had to tell me. One of her favourites had one day off and got an extension
Told mine and multiple other student's parents we'd never pass maths, even though this was set 1 of 9. I got a B overall and just missed an A after pretty much teaching myself for two years.
Conversely my geography teachers throughout school were all amazing and gave me my passion for environmentalism and sustainability which is now my career
gobuchul
It was originally set up to prepare people for a career as a Merchant Navy Officer.
Not sure if there any others?
My dad went to one on Anglesey called HMS Conwy. It's now a national trust site called Plas Newydd
Looks like this is another way I was fortunate in my education back in the 70s. We did have a totally incompetent history teacher who in hindsight was having a breakdown which we did not help but some of my teachers became friends ( one i am still in contact with ) and some of them had real life long influence on me. Tricky Dicky ( Mr Dixon) the english teacher used to occasionally give me a lift to and from school in his lotus and fed my appetite for reading especially SF. Mr Connolly and Mr McGinley - they took the hillwalking club out every weekend and McGinley also ran the music club which had a library of albums to borrow - rock music and he also ran the lunchtime discos.
my last year at school we hired a pub and got a late licence a couple of times ( the bon accord in Glasgow) even tho we were only 17 ( we claimed to be doing it for 18th birthdays) and invited a few of the teachers who did join in.
Well I suppose there was this guy: Man charged over paedophile death. Not the man charged, the one who got murdered and dismembered.
Strange (or is it?) thing is that he was actually quite a good teacher... you know... otherwise...
Turns out my geography teacher was a bit of wrong 'un.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/572989.stm
I always thought he was a bit of prick after he threatened to throw me down the stairs for not doing my homework but turns out he was a serial sex offender as well.
We also had Mr Woodcock (affectionately known as balsa balls) in high school.
Not a teacher, but I used to know a lad called Woodcock. An ex-girlfriend of his once kindly suggested that a more appropriate moniker might be "Knob of Butter."
Probably around the time of the ‘Raising of the School Leaving Age’ as it would have meant schools needed and extra year-group worth of teachers. (We had a block called the RSLA because it was built for that purpose)
Holy shit. We too had a Rosla building, up until now I had absolutely no idea why.
Mr King the chain smoking CDT teacher
Our chain-smoking CDT teacher is who I was going to post about, only his name wasn't King, it was Nutter. Our year had the dubious honour of being the first ever to sit GCSEs and they'd given all the practical classes pretentious names, eg metalwork was now "CDT: Engineering." Mr Nutter took CDT: Technology - pneumatics and moments and all that shizzle.
Mr Nutter's idea of teaching CDT was to take the register, occasionally give us something to do if we were lucky, then piss off to the staff room to chain smoke until 5 minutes before the end of lesson whereupon he'd reappear and tell us to tidy up. I remember one time he produced some Lego Technic and gave us some half-baked direction to build something before disappearing for an hour; I made Airwolf.
Two weeks before the GCSE exams were due, I realised I was going to fail the subject. I'd learned nothing the entire time I was there and my project was non-existent beyond some scribbled notes and a frame made out of Meccano or something similar. That lunchtime I broke into the CDT lab (shimmed the door lock), picked the lock on the cabinet holding the textbooks and stole one of each title (I think there were about half a dozen in total). I spent the next fortnight teaching myself two years' worth of CDT lessons, it was the only subject I revised for.
After the exams I went back up to the school to collect my exam results like the girlie swot I was. The receptionist read them out one by one, got to CDT, I winced and then said "go on...?" She said, "B," I went "bloody hell!" and she burst out laughing.
Anyone looking fir a book that resonates with this thread, particularly if you’re a scot, a tale etched in blood and hard black pencil by Christopher Brooklmyre is an absolute joy.
Anything written by Chris Brookmyre is an absolute joy.
We had Miss Housego. Not nasty, just absolutely as mad as a box of frogs, most likely drunk most of the time...
In one English class, I watched her draw around her hand in chalk on the front of my homework book then call me out and gave me detention for drawing on it.
She eventually got fired after someone caught her giving a 6th former a BJ in a store cupboard.
Other notable high school (1983-88) mentions.
Mr Cross, maths teacher. One of my favouritest ever teachers. Younger than most and therefore "cool," relaxed, good at his job, and told painfully bad jokes. A few weeks ago I was looking at the staff list at my high school and noticed that there's a Mr Cross there now who is head of maths of something similar, I was vaguely toying with rocking up to the school to see if it's the same guy and tell him how influential he'd been to me, guess that's not going to happen any time soon now if ever. )-:
[EDIT: deleted this one, it's not really fair]
Woodwork teacher, Wilkinson I think? He had a habit of giving practical demonstrations on the importance of stout footwear by throwing hammers at pupils' feet.
Mr Haydock, French. Absolute crack shot with chalk, I swear he could knock wasps out of the air with the stuff. Dunno as he ever threw it at kids directly, but a sudden explosion of chalk dust on your desk was pretty effective at focusing the mind.
Ms Whiteside, English. Mad as a box of frogs but ace with it. Had an affectation of going "right, my little..." and then inserting the first noun that came into her head. Right my little wombats / hatstands / whatever, I don't recall her ever repeating herself in the 2 or 3 years she taught us.
Mr Hagar, electronics. Fun game with him was to get him tangented off on a pet subject. He had an Audi Quattro and I vaguely remember was locked in one-upmanship with one of the other teachers, get him talking about cars and you could cheerfully say goodbye to half the lesson. He had an incredible way of drawing dotted lines with chalk, holding it in an odd way so that it bounced like a sewing machine needle, I never did quite work out how he did it. Funny what sticks in your mind, isn't it.
Mr Hagar
He sounds horrible
Hah!
I might've got his name slightly wrong, it was a long time ago.
Not really any *really* bad ones -- PE teachers on the whole were hard to please (if you're rubbish at PE). One dodgy English teacher, accusations made but not sure if followed through (ooer). One drama teacher renowned for being very friendly with younger female pupils. Married one later, subsequently divorced again. Still see his name around.
Some lovely teachers as well, especially maths department (one of whom still keep in touch with as my career choice was influenced by him). Physics as well, some good and quirky teachers there. English and history less so.
get him talking about cars and you could cheerfully say goodbye to half the lesson.
We had a lovely Physics teacher - comically any practical demonstration he gave would, without exception, fail. Never the less he was great at explaining stuff and really good at nurturing enthusiasm. But - if anyone just interrupted him at any moment, while he was talking on any subject and said "So, err - what exactly is a Quark?" he'd devote the rest of the lesson to trying to answer that question - the fact that we were paying no attention and talking amongst ourselves didn't seem to deter him.
We also had a very fat, scruffy, gravy-stained, heavy breathing, sweaty heart attack magnet maths teacher who wrote everything on the blackboard in illegible rainbow arcs because his gut was so big and his arms were so short
holding it in an odd way so that it bounced like a sewing machine needle,
But he could do that.
at the time thought they were all wierd not so much looking at these.
1 Batpig always wore black academic cape had a small snout like nose..
2.DCM dont come mondays mr maund Metalwork/woodwork always good fun didnt mind a bit of 'laddishness'hiding in inspection pit, clamping kids in vices cuffs in 2 bottom of trousers in opp corners
3. sid dickinson Tech drawing woodwork always had a rollup going woodwork room former army hut very dry dusty ideal for smoking in! would send a boy out to get cheese sandwich from out of bounds cafe across main road. 4 foot dowel kept order in class !!
4 .nutty kate. constantly off with stress related stuff french teacher
5.CJJ. chemistry distilled his home made wine into spirits!! proper old school lab hardwood benches
6 DR Preston maffham loved spider collecting at breaks wrote books about them apparently also big into cacti He also used to collect dead things to skin and preserve in big bottles of formaldehyde, room would stink also took sex ed/human biology apparently vaseline with condoms was ok and we learned of his fave positions too!
7 pe collection of psychos one pushed his way through group of kids on stairs they went down like 9 pins. Mr cowell great bloke only recently retired good runner hated bullies alledgedley had'words' with lad called smithy behind cricket pavillion once Never had any trouble with him after. We never saw a thing that day
only one or two board rubber/chalk chuckers
I look at my 15 yrs of teaching as a sort of penance for being a tool back then! dont miss it at all
NUNS, lots of Evil Nuns 😖
Oh, one of my exes went to a nun-filled Catholic school. Her entire sex education - in the mid 80s at the height of the AIDS scare - was "don't do it, but if you do do it then don't use a condom because it offends god." 🙄
Madame went to a nun-filled Catholic school and now teaches in a Catholic school run by nuns. Like most good Catholics following the rules in the good book is a mix of random and selective, besides there's confession, and we're an easy bike ride from Lourdes if she's really naughty and a 35 day walk from Compostelle to completely wipe the slate clean.
Metalwork teacher who apparently "knew" quite a few sixth form girls over the years (before it was an offence). His wife was a bitter and angry English teacher at the same school
Geography teacher did some practical biology with a female sixth form friend of mine - she seemed Ok with it. He also took us all to the pub on the A level field trip and ended up making us all toast at 1am when we got back to the accomodation
Head of Lower School did actually have to leave after an affair with a sixth former
Design teacher with a terrible squint - he'd look at you and shout to tell you off but would be pointing to a kid 6 desks away
History teacher kept order by hitting us with a range of drumsticks, but let you eat sweets in class if you shared them round
French teacher who complained about going decimal as the old money had been great for confusing the foreigners
Another French teacher lived on my Saturday milk round and only paid half her milk bill as the other half was down to her cheating husband
Maths teacher - also my form tutor - who would eat Mars bars with a knife and fork in lessons