[Closed] Stress, does it all get too much for you sometimes?

Stress can cause serious health problems and shouldn't be taken lightly (seriously!) Make some time for yourself, do something enjoyable at least once a week, ride your bike, walk the dog etc.

Also don't take things to seriously, stress is only stressful if you perceive it that way.

The answer to your question is no! But I think you already know the answer to half your questions by the look of the thread!

Acknowledge it.

Find your triggers.

Find a coping mechanism.

Attempt to deescalate your triggers.

Do not allow it to lessen you from the person that you are.

(so much easier to sort a strangers shit out via my mobile than it is to start dealing with mine)

Sensible stuff from qwerty

Make time for you. Ride your bike. Just do it.

don't be afraid to get pro help- i am a big fan of counselling - for this sort of issue usually not much is needed as its not deep rooted issues more than likely - a sense of perspective and some coping mechanisms are what you need

Oh - and its always in your control - say no / tell em to farck off / relax / go screw the bank manager ( or whatever you need to do)

You take control - its your life

Knowing you are getting stressed is half the battle so you can take some positive action. I can spot the signs now when getting seriously stressed with work (not sleeping/shortness of breath/IBS) - I use it as a signal to take a step back, slow down and think about things for a little while.

I make time to leave work on time, cycle via my local woods and sit on my favourite tree stump and just spend 30mins on my own thinking things through.

Everytime I see an ambulance pass by or hear tragic news on the radio/tv I use that to get some perspective on my own circumstances. It could be so so much worse.

Chinup

Once.

Don't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have no control over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over, because you have control over them.

Take those dogs out tomorrow, first thing, for as long as you need.

MTFU

Stress gets people in many ways some become workaholics, some get with drawn and agitated, some cope, some dont.

Find the triggers as somebody above said, and try to fire them, or just redirect them, chat to strnagers about them, it does help,and people do care on here.

As you say you want to get it off your chest, so do either in public if its not to personal or in private, quite a few of us have emails in our profiles and all have different personalities, that may well be sutable for you.

As project says - feel free to email me if I can be of help

Once again all the petty squabbling gets put aside to help one of our own

Going through a pretty stressful time at work at the moment. My colleague just took time off through stress and got alapecia (spelling?), another is complaining of chest pains, another is loosing weight. Fortunately I have a great wife who is keeping home running while juggling a 9-5 while I concentrate full on at work to try and stabilize things. Stress is not good but although I can't offer any advice I can say you are not alone.

I've worked and lived through huge stress. It ud not to bother me, but when it did it became inescapable.

There are many ways to deal with it. Not all wrong, not all right. For me, talking to a (professional) stranger really helped. Not because she gave me some great insight, but because it was the catalyst for my own insight.

But, you know, start by venting here. It's remarkably soothing, I find.

MTFU

Once again all the petty squabbling gets put aside to help one of our own

**** you TJ 😉

all the petty squabbling gets put aside to help one of our own

Speak for yourself I just do it to come across all samaritan-like. 😉

I've felt same over last month due to work. Chest pain, short of breath, extremely irritable with friends/ family and not wanting to exercise.

I realised I was suffering with stress- which I now know is the first step to dealing with it.

Forced my self back into the routine of commuting to work, been out on MTB a few times and made sure I took my little man out for longer walks:

[img] [/img]

Got through last week without any chest pain.

I'd say get out with your dog, get on your bike and make sure you have some 'you' time.

Hope it all works out for you though!

No, not really. Not these days anyway. Sorry. Maybe it's 'cause I generally don't give a monkeys - dunno. Try riding your bike - that should help. Or not giving a monkeys. HTH. Let me know.

Don't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have no control over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over, because you have control over them.

The smartatian speaketh sense (for once).

What qwerty said.

I often get panic attacks. I seem to run between exhilerating, giddy highs and crushing lows with little middle ground. I have occasionally considered the docs but can't be bothered.

However as qwerty details above, I can recognise the symptoms and *usually* deal with them.

One thing that does help is exercise. Even when you would rather chew through your own wrists rather than do anything, go for a walk. Try a run. It works. Trust me.

Oh, and as others have said email is always open.

Yes mate time out on the bike helps, as does just being left the **** alone at work!

I became very ill because of stress and ended up an alcoholic as a result of trying to self medicate for 20 yrs . Cut out the booze 2 yrs ago and practice meditation daily for 20 minutes or more. Hard to discipline yourself at first but don't underestimate what it can do for you in relation to boosting inner peace and ability to relax. not an overnight fix though but can and does change people's lives for the better. I was constantly irritable before but now remain fairly stress free regardless of the situation and feel pretty chilled the majority of the time.

Thanks all, I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

TJ, one day I might actually drop you an email 🙂

Feel for you mate... had some very serious stuff to deal with 4 odd years ago , thought it was never going to end... keep riding that bike and walking the dog tho' best un-stressing medicine you can have.... the other thing i learnt was who my mates were and who I could trust to unload my problems to... it does get better in the end.

You don't say why you haven't been on the bike for a while... Makes a MASSIVE difference to me.
There was an article in MBR a few months back, by Andy Waterman. I think it was the October issue. Article was about the way mountain biking makes you completely focus your mind. Gets rid of all the crap thougts, even if it is just for a short while. I reckon that is one of the reasons why its such great stress relief; refreshes the brain.
Found it a very inspiring article (makes a damn change for MBR!!) and I 'm making sure i get out as much as possible from now on. ( hell of a lot of shit going on at the moment, too).
Anyway, so if its possible, get out for a serious ride!

pwning folk online is good stress relief. 😉

Being pwned isn't 🙁

Seriously the advice above sounds good - it seems like you have lost perspective and need to lose yourself in whatever.

Si - feel free -or project or anyone else who might help

Not because she gave me some great insight, but because it was the catalyst for my own insight.

.....don't underestimate what it can do for you in relation to boosting inner peace

This very true, although the way I achieve inner peace is to finish all the things I've started. For example, today I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished... So far I have finished one bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Scotch, some Valium, a small box of chocolates and 9 beers. You have no idea how good I feel.

Yes, in increasing frequency. It gets me by total intolerance of people around me followed by increasingly extreme panic attacks. I suspect most people go through the same in some version - as above, we find ways to deal with it. For me - and this may not apply to you - professionals can just stay right away.

Coyote puts it perfectly - manic, crazy highs and lows which swing around so quickly. That's the point to try to find a few minutes for a run, anything. Exercise brings it all back from the precipice of extreme violence!

Kaiser, how/what is this meditation you speak of?

This very true - the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started. For example, today I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished... So far I have finished one bottle of vodka, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Scotch, some Valium, a small box of chocolates and 9 beers. You have no idea how good I feel.

They say that laughter is good medicine.

You just made me LOL

Si if youre not riding your bike can i have it then, cant take the dog it would most probably kill my cat.

lol.

Ernie Lynch. funny quote nice one!

Got to me once - frustration with work.
Went to the doc, he looked me straight in the eye and said 'it's only a job'. Wise words.
As said above, coming on here to acknowledge is first and most important action to take. And not easy to do...
Now find a way to deal and ways to reduce it.
I used therapy - long-needed and hugely beneficial.
Mountain-biking and the fact it requires 100% attention (unlike road biking, running and loads of other sports) is a great releaser. But IME you need to find what's causing it and sort that, not just ways to cope.
Also recommend yoga - great for core strength, great for finding inner calm.
Drink sensibly if at all, eat well, sleep well, exercise plenty.
And good luck. This kind of thing tends to happen to the good people.
IMO there's a lot of it about at the moment so you're not alone

OK joking apart, TSY's suggestion is imo by far the best : [i]Don't worry about things that you have no control over, because you have no control over them. Don't worry about things that you have control over, because you have control over them.[/i]

Or not giving a monkeys as I like to say. Not easily done when you're feeling down, I know, but work on it. You can only do, what you can do. And ride your bike. And walk your dog.

I suffer with stress..

If I don't manage it with regular riding (amongst other things) it quickly gets on top.. so I will force myself regardless of whether I want to or not.. it turns out for the best 99.9% of the time anyway..

get on your bike Simon.. (thanks for the wheels BTW.. they're ace)

I know how you feel Si, been suffering myself recently. Lots of good info above.

Kaiser, how/what is this meditation you speak of?

only time i really got stressed was working for a $hit of a boss, try to tuff it out but in the end i just walked and the relief was immense. I had no job but the stress just evaporated.

Sometimes you just have to do what you think you should but are afraid to do.

best to wiki the word as it covers many practices but my method ( buddhist "mindfulness of breathing" )simplified, is generally sitting quietly following the flow of my breath (and various aspects of it) whilst trying to observe the coming and going of thoughts through the mind but not getting distracted or too involved with them. the effect with practice is that the incessant chatter in your head starts to quieten down and not bother you too much ..which is great! many other benefits too .

Nice one, will have a read and try that out mate.

Chronic stress at work seemed to be the trigger for my Bi-polar disorder, which has pretty much ****ed up my life for the last 6 years.

Although I have been pretty good for the last 12 months looking back I have lost 5 years of my life, and I will no doubt need to remain on medication for the rest of my life, or the very least the next 5 years, and the risks of a serious relapse make me think I will choose to stay with the drugs.

I have no doubt I am an outlier and my body/brain reacted very badly to it, but stress is something to take very seriously

Chronic stress at work seemed to be the trigger for my Bi-polar disorder, which has pretty much **** up my life for the last 6 years.

Although I have been pretty good for the last 12 months looking back I have lost 5 years of my life, and I will no doubt need to remain on medication for the rest of my life, or the very least the next 5 years, and the risks of a serious relapse make me think I will choose to stay with the drugs.

I have no doubt I am an outlier and my body/brain reacted very badly to it, but stress is something to take very seriously

Stress is apparently what caused my CFS. Its only been 8 months so far, so nothing like your 5 years, but in that time it has reduced me to doing very little compared to what I used to do.

I ache all over like I have the flu, can't sleep for shit (although its improving) and life is generally sucking hard at the moment. The worst thing being is I don't know when/if its going to end.

Sorry to put an extra downer on things.

totally sympathise, suffering from metal stress levels at the moment, ridiculous work conditions, massive financial strain, no where near enough time to be able to get any exercise to re-set my brain, can't sleep properly etc..

it'll get better or it'll kill me, no other option really, but such is life.

best of luck

Yup, suffer on and off with terrible anxiety/panic attacks. Triggered by stress initially but lots of underlying trauma that's the real root. Meditation not medication for me. Within my belief system we have one force within us and it's strong so the idea is to use the tools to keep it flowing positively, not latching it onto anxieties, as when that freight train gets going takes a while to stop. Ride, healthy habits, do some things for others and try to have a good laugh now and again. In this day and age it seems more and more to be a skill, not a given.

I've not read many of the posts on this thread so apologies if I'm repeating anything

I suffer quite badly when stress and anxiety collide

I can somehow always convince myself that I'll come out the other side but worry that the day will come when I don't

OP - stay as strong as you can and when you can't be strong, sit it out till you can again

EDIT: sorry that sounds stupid telling you to sit down
I just hang on till it goes away - like everyone else I guess

Yes it does get too much sometimes, and its hard to see it coming

Things just seem to keep piling on top of the problems you already have

Been through plenty of anxiety related crap over the years

My advice would be to do some exercise, and if you don't feel like, or can't, go out on the bike, do something else, running or the gym or something like that

Exercise releases happy hormones (Seratonin), so don't underestimate the benefit of getting out on your bike or going for a walk. Depends on where your head is at, going for a walk gives you "thinking" time where getting on your bike and doing something you have to concentrate on doesn't, so depends on what you need at the time.

Started running 3 mornings a week before work a while ago, and found the days much more bearable having started off that way.

A few years ago I went through a bad time and I was recommended to write things down in a journal each day, the good, the bad and the ugly... really hard to do, but what it did was get it off my chest and recognise the problems. I never re-read what I wrote as it was too difficult at the time, but it did help, and within a couple of weeks I could see what the underlying trigger was.

Friends are worth a lot, but they can't help if they don't know....

[url= http://www.moodscope.com/ ]Moodscope[/url]

Is really helpful. Making you think about how you feel and leaving a quick diary really helps spot the trigger points and how you are, to a large degree, creating your own stress by the way you react to those points...

@ oxnop
Where do I get one of those stress relieving flying dogs?

I am a worrier and I have a high stress job which doesn't help things.

Like jota180 I tell myself I will get through it but worry one day I'm going to get floored and not be able to get back up from it.

Cycling, running, weights and the "mindfulness" technique keeps me going.

Where do I get one of those stress relieving flying dogs?

You can have mine, he is taking up too much room on the sofa ATM!

Hi Si

I live in south east Sheffield near rother valley - if you fancy a bike run and some company some time I have a local bike run that's nearly all off road and a good little run. Takes about 1.5 hours.

I don't work regular hours in a 9-5 job so I go cycling pretty much when I fancy it. Sometimes see a couple of buzzards while out on this run and plenty of nice scenery to keep you focused on the cycling. I'm no speed demon either ?

Drop me an email if you fancy a ride sometime and I hope things get better soon
Paul

+1 for meditation - I also do Tai Chi.
Not work related stress for me though - single parenthood and a bitch of an ex 🙂

I also have the attitude that " every day you wake up breathing is a bonus" - gives it all perspective 😛

I was going through all sorts in my personal and work life and wasnt really sure where it was going to end with things just getting worse. For the last few months I have been going to counseling and it has helped loads, I am still going but it looks like my next session will be the last. I think people sometimes see seeking help as a weakness (I did) but its not and can make a huge difference just being able to speak to someone who wont judge and will listen. You have already had offers but if I can help in any way or you would like to know about what I have gone through in my counseling sessions please feel free to drop me an email.

Check out Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's Flow Theory

you need to come up here for a holiday and we can go riding and eating and hydrating.

I can get a bit stressed out if I've got too much on the go and I seem to feel like I'm chasing my arse and the amount I need to do is getting longer.
Try to prioritise things make a list and cross off things as they get done, it also helps me to finish jobs rather than starting loads of things and not getting any finished then they all jumble around in my mind. I also set time aside at weekends to get jobs done and finished around the home, have some weekends where you 'book' any thing in and keep to it.