MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Following on from the 'do they know how much your bike cost' thread, I'm curious as to how people split their living costs with their better halfs. I'd say its now common for most couples to both work, yet its also probably common for there to be a significant imbalance between the two people's earnings.
So - do you split costs 50:50? Split ratio based on your earnings and everything else is yours? share everything 50:50?
H
All in one pot. Then she spends it. 🙁
My wife currently earns roughly double what I do, and in the furture will earn 3 to 4 times what I do.
If either of us wants some thing we just check with each other and get it if theres enough money in the bank. Surely if your together then its a joint income ??
Our earnings are pretty similar (she earns a bit more).. We split everything 50:50.
We pay the same amount into a joint account each month to cover standard costs (morgage, bills, food, household stuff) and the rest is ours to spend how we choose.
She earns more than me on basic salary but i tend to make a bit more in commission.
Joint account to pay for all the household stuff (and often meals/cinema etc...). I pay in about a third more because I earn about a third more.
If we had done 50:50 I would have had lots of spare cash and she would have had very little which I think would have caused issues long run.
I spend all of my money on pints down the club with the lads. Then she can have whatever is left, which is nothing.
Both salaries into the joint account and then each month we have the same amount transferred to our individual accounts.
50:50 - it's the only way for a married couple.
"oh and don't forget, you owe me £30 for that shopping...." nah
Simple. I pay for everything!
We pay the same amount into a joint account and split all necessary spending 50:50. Keep the rest separate to do what we want with.
Manage our own savings, investments, spending on luxuries etc.
Not married but live together. At the minute we both pay the same amount into a joint account for rent/bills/food etc. However, in future I think we'll adopt Clubbers way:
Both salaries into the joint account and then each month we have the same amount transferred to our individual accounts.
Sounds fair that you both get the same amount to spend how you wish.
Both salaries into the joint account and then each month we have the same amount transferred to our individual accounts.
Yup, works for us. We pay for all of the "joint" stuff (food, bills, fuel, days out where we are both going etc) from the joint account. We take £XXX each per month from the joint account and put it in our own separate accounts. I spend my £XXX on bikes, occasional pints etc, don't know what she spends hers on. Mrs PixelMix was quite insistent on this, as she wants her own wee pot of money so we don't just buy each other birthday presents from the joint account. 🙂
Edit:- And before we were married we did what Doosuk said - equal amounts per month into the joint account.
We used to pay the same(ish depending on salaries over the years) amount into the joint account but changed to the other way once Mrs Clubber was on maternity leave and then not working full time when she went back to work.
Both earn decent wages, and have a Joint account.
If you want something- you buy it.
set amount to cover rent and bills goes into joint account, equal for each.
we earn the same pretty much, and i drive to work 15 miles each way every day (she cycles) but she never has any money.
I blame CoOp Cheese Twists.
they are like catnip for some people.
Still, made christmas shopping easier.
Gf earns nearly double what I earn...it all goes into one account, we don't keep track...whats the point!? It was the same when we met except I earned more than her...she has overtaken me 🙂
We are lucky in that we are both relatively sensible spenders, if one of us was a big spender we would just do what some others do, either the same amount out of the joint account into personal accounts for spending money, or a proportion of income i.e. 20% of own income for spending.
I'm with CLubber - everything gets paid into joint account and we get same amount of pocket money each month. I don't ask how much her haircut was, she doesn't ask how much that chainset was. Simples.
Now and then the missus occasionally gets some clothes or whatever paid for our of the joint account funds, I get some geeky bits like new monitor or she looks the other way when I desperately need new chain/cassette.
We do earn kinda the same but I'm in positive brownie points for covering a lot of stuff when she did maternity leave.
I get paid monthly on the last day of the month, I pay the rent, all the bills, the gym memberships, and we spend the rest on some treat things for both of us. By the 2nd of any given month I have no money left.
Mrs g gets paid every friday so she always has money, she pays for the childcare, train tickets, food, going out, and we put the rest in savings.
If one of us wants to buy something we dont "need" then the other one gets that money made available to spend too, and from time to time as the savings add up we take a load out and split it 3 ways between us two and things for baby g. Savings pay for holidays etc
It's a ratio of earnings split into the joint account now that I earn more than her, with all my remaining cash spent on [s]fast cars, loose women and pickled onions[/s] things she asks for. Oddly, when she was the breadwinner, it was a 50/50 split. Both of these things makes me feel better when I buy a secret new toy for myself.
Oh to have any spare cash to spend...dreams of the good ol days before wife and kids...ours is split down the middle for all the living costs (still not enought though!) guaranteed no spare left over. I am slightly ashamed to admit that I occasionally stash a little undeclared cash from various private jobs to keep the old treadly going...priorities and all that.
All goes into the same pot, and we have a set [equal] amount we transfer into our personal accounts for buying things (bike stuff for me, make-up for her, etc).
At the mo, I'm the only one earning - but the time will come when I might want to take a year off to study, and she'll be the one earning.
Before we were married, we had a joint account for rent/bills/food/etc, which we paid money into each month, although my contribution was considerably more than hers, as she was a student - didn't bother me though.
Both salaries into one account. We take a monthly personal allowance of £600 each and transfer that into our own account. The rest is for bills, food and savings
Joint account. I earn the lion's share, It's money for the household. Neither does silly things with it.
Set amount into joint acc then what's left is hers/ mine. Considering I'm left with £25 after the bills etc are covered, and she earns a fair bit more than me I do get subsidised a fair bit.
Wish I could have £600 'allowance'. that's nearly my post-tax monthly wage.....
piedi di formaggio - MemberSimple. I pay for everything!
Same here
MrOvershoot - Memberpiedi di formaggio - Member
Simple. I pay for everything!
Same here
Same here too although my wife doesn't work so I give her pocket money for spending. She looks after the 5 year old when not at school.
No joint account
One account, both salaries are paid in (I earn about 5x as much as her - she's part time and I have a decent income).
The money is there for the family - we don't do the your money, my money thing. We're a partnership: What's mine is hers and what's hers is hers too.
Oh.
[i]joke[/i]
I get paid monthly on the last day of the month, I pay the rent, all the bills, [s]the gym memberships[/s], and we spend the rest on some treat things for both of us. By the 2nd of any given month I have no money left.
Just saved you £60, no need to thank me...
3 accounts. We each transfer half what it costs us to live into a joint account - anything left in your account is yours to do with as we each see fit.
We never fight about money. we earn similar amounts
You don't save anything TJ?
clubber - MemberYou don't save anything TJ?
Nope - Mrs TJ does tho out of her account.
I earn over twice as much as my wife if she's having a good month (works a couple of jobs part time on demand, plus some supply teaching) We split bills into one account 50:50. We have separate ISA's and savings accounts as well as current accounts. That said we know what goes in and out of each others accounts and the savings are for a mutual purpose anyway. For the most part I pay for things like meals out trips petrol etc. as I know she'll struggle otherwise.
If she doesn't have a busy work month then she pays what she can afford towards bills and if she struggles because she's paid too much then she has it back. Whichever way it happens we don't argue about it.
Apart from everytime I say I'm going to buy a new bike 😀 (Probably about 4 times a week to wind her up 😛 )
50:50 - it's the only way for a married couple.
So if you earn say, 4x what your partner does, you'd still make her cough up for 50% of the bills, even if that leaves her with nothing and leaves you with lots of disposible income?
I pay the mortgage and the bills, she pays for the food. It's the only way for us, and we're married.
I presume what he means by 50:50 is everyting goes into one pot and you share it equally ?
You need a different set of rules if there is a big discrepancy between incomes. I think its important tho that both have money that they don't have to account for.
we go for everything into one pot then equal amounts to each of us and the same to savings. everything else is left to cover bills etc. If the bills account builds up spare cash, it goes into savings. Both of us have fairly unpredictable salaries (me being self employed and my wife working on commission) so the savings pot is the most important!!
TandemJeremy - Member
You need a different set of rules if there is a big discrepancy between incomes. I think its important tho that both have money that they don't have to account for.
No rules here and it's worked for the last 18 years. I've consistently earned a lot more than Mrs STR, but all the money goes into one pot.
I suppose I'm lucky in the fact that even if she wants to spend a tenner on a new top, she'll ask - not that she has to. I spend whatever I want, which she has no issue with, as long as the family as a whole has everything they need/want.
Just saved you £60, no need to thank me...
I wish, she goes to the Reebok gym, £100 a month
We do 50:50, since marriage both of us have been fairly matched with regards to salary, when one has earned a promotion the other has usually followed within a year of so, so the pay gap between us has never been much more that £1000 per year or so.
Salaries payed into joint account, used for all hosuehold stuff, shared savings account, individual current accounts for personal spending - we both have similar amounts of personal monthly spend put into those.
Simple. I pay for everything!
Same here. Ironically if I buy something expensive, like a new bike, I have to buy her something expensive, like a new car.
Paid into personal accounts.
Standing Order for a fixed sum into joint account (before maternity leave it was roughly 65:35 to her, but for now it is all me)
All household bills, mortgage etc come off joint account, anything left gets pushed to savings.
Personal accounts used for our own money plus the odd transfer to savings as well.
Before the bin lids arrived we worked out our total costs, added some savings on top and set up a joint account to pay all of these costs while keeping the difference in out personal accounts. Worked really well.
Is anybody doing a correlation between this thread and the "does your wife know how much your bike costs" or any of the "do you have to ask to spend money on bikes" threads? I suspect there may be a correlation between those who have only a joint account, those who have to ask about buying bits and those who try to hide the cost.
We do the paying the same amount each into the joint account - we both earn roughly the same amount. Disappointed we didn't think to pay all of our income in and take pocket money out, as that would have been fairer when mrs aracer was off on maternity*. Don't think that would work too well now without lots of other painful calcs, given I have all sorts of salary sacrifice stuff going out which means my net income is rather lower despite similar gross.
*she got made redundant whilst on maternity - her payout being significantly more than the money she lost due to maternity. Came straight off maternity into a new job.
Here's a questions for those that have re-married/new relationship after a divorce - are you more careful with your money, in regards to what the other half has access too?
Know a handful of couples who have re-married, and they have all gone down the road of salaries into personal account (not joint, as was before), one pays for this, the other for that, etc.
Just curious....
We have our own bank accounts and I don't care what she spends her money on, although she makes comments if I spend a lot of money on bike stuff or camera equipment.
We have a joint bank account that we both stick a £500 in when it's running low, that gets spent on shopping and other joint purchases.
That stops her asking for money for food, but doesn't stop her whinging about me spending money on stuff.
Women....can't live with em....um, that's about it.
what she earns, she keeps. what i earn, she keeps.
As an old mate of mine used to say "I'm in charge of incomings, she's in charge of outgoings" 😉
My salary gets paid into my account, a wodge is transferred to joint account where mortgage, pensions, all that stuff comes out. What's left pays for everything else.
I'm sure there is some more financial trickery in there, but I'm not really very good with money. Apart from spending it. My view is we both have jobs, she just doesn't get paid for hers!
I earn more than my partner so once a year I ask him how much he gets in his hand each month and then I ratio it based upon that. I pay for all bills and we have a joint credit card. If his job changes and he gets more then I'll modify the spreadsheet of outgoings appropriately.
Of course my function has just been outsourced to HP so he may be paying for a lot more soon... 🙁
we have salaries into our own accounts and a joint (which is fuelled 50/50) for mortgage, bills and food. it works and the person who earns more contributes more to the big stuff and does the saving
I have enough bikes but don't go silly - mrs Ed has a relatively fancy car (well anything is compared to my ageing focus but I don't spend a lot on motors, never will) neither of us have debts so it works ok
[i]Here's a questions for those that have re-married/new relationship after a divorce - are you more careful with your money, in regards to what the other half has access too?
Know a handful of couples who have re-married, and they have all gone down the road of salaries into personal account (not joint, as was before), one pays for this, the other for that, etc.[/i]
Yes, in our case. Both married before with joint account and reckless spending partners.
How does all of this 50:50 stuff work when you have kids??
Mrs Druidh keeps all her wages, but tends to buy all of the weekly shopping etc, plus some other regular outgoings.
I keep all my wages/pension but pay all of the other regular bills (used to include the mortgage too) and am responsible for savings.
Neither asks the other "how much did that cost" as neither of us would spend more than we could, as a family, afford.
Clubber's way here too, ie we both get £200 pcm 'pocket money' and the rest is bills or saved for house stuff or holidays.
Interestingly (for me!) I have dropped my hours every so slightly and mtrs julian is incresing hers; I still work more hours than her (both on exactly the same hourly wage) but I have the children while she is at work and vice versa. She also rides and races mountain bikes so we spend similar amounts on bikes and events, and she is well aware of what i spend on bikes!
druidh - MemberHow does all of this 50:50 stuff work when you have kids??
It only works with similar incomes.
You have to make a deal that works and clearly 50 /50 don't if one of you earns multiples of the other and / or one does most of the childcare. I think its important for both partners to have their own money tho
I'd like to just have all money go into one account, and all bills/toys/etc come back out. I earn more than the Missus (as she's now part time since baby came along), but even if I earnt 5x what she does, I'd still want her to have as 'much of the pot' as I do. Essentially, it's all 'our' money, whoever earns it.
In reality, because I can't be bothered to change bank details/standing orders etc, we both pay into a joint account for the mortgage/bills, then we each pay for random (joint) stuff out of our own accounts as that's easiest...
She's probably fleecing me for GHDs or something, but I'm happy...
DrP
When I was a kid my dad's wages would go into the joint account and mum's wages would go into her account. If he needed money he would ask - different times...
How does all of this 50:50 stuff work when you have kids??
Just fine - we both work part time and earn similar amounts.
I wish, she goes to the Reebok gym, £100 a month
Can I check I've got this straight, steve - her expensive gym membership counts as "joint" expenditure, but your biking purchases come from the leftovers when it's split 3 ways?
Separate accounts here and each just spend what we need/want to. If one of us is unintentionally building up funds and the other reducing, then we just make a concious effort to pay for a few more things from the greater pot, eg "you can pay the house insurance for this year"
Whilst I earn more, I'm also definitely less inclined to part with money without comparing prices etc first, so it suits me fine that by default I manage the larger part of the spend. Where she'd likely renew her insurance out of convenience, I'd want to see a big chunk of Quidco and would always pay it on a card that pays me cashback.
Since we moved in together about 16 years ago what's mine is hers and what's her's is mine, all monies in lumped together, all outgoings agreed on before big ones, or evened out over time on more spontaneous/selfish stuff.
Her sister was in a relationship where they paid equal amounts in for all their outgoings, always seemed a bit clinical and souless to me, if you're one family you should have one pool of money, I don't see how it wouldn't cause friction otherwise, even before kids.
how do you work it if you have kids from a previous relationship living with you though?
i ask because my ex never wanted to contribute towards the bills, rent etc , saying why should he pay for my kids. he lived here with us as a family but i had to pay everything. he would occasionally buy a bit of food but never anything substantial. i didn't expect him to pay for my kids, but i did expect him to pay his share of bills etc. it caused a lot of arguments. (hence he is now an ex!)
how would others do this ?
Her sister was in a relationship where they paid equal amounts in for all their outgoings, always seemed a bit clinical and souless to me, if you're one family you should have one pool of money, I don't see how it wouldn't cause friction otherwise, even before kids.
Clinical and soulless is good - it's just boring household expenditure stuff after all. Why on earth do you think such a situation would cause friction when you're quite clearly paying your way? Also plenty of examples on here where it's not a problem - in my case it's a complete non-issue as we have plenty enough money in the joint pot that all the bills get paid and there's still usually something left over to contribute to holidays.
On the contrary, I can see that having a single pot of money and hence having to agree the purchase of anything you want to get is far more likely to cause friction. Do you never get into an argument over something you want to buy, or get told you can't buy something you want? Neither of those situations occur to me, because I simply spend the money which is mine to do what I want with - at the worst I get some comment about me spending money on silly things.
AdamW - MemberOf course my function has just been outsourced to HP
Outsaucing, surely?
TAXI!
😉
how do you work it if you have kids from a previous relationship living with you though?
Maybe it's just me, but if they were living with me I'd like to think I'd treat them as if they were my kids (even if they didn't see it that way), hence it's no different to any other family finances. Your ex sounds horrible (as they say on mumsnet 😉 ).