MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Because if I wasn't socially distant at the moment I would be ripping the throat out of the Sales Director.
"Can you send me the link to the online edition?"
"No. we haven't put it online yet."
"But we need the link to go in the print edition."
"But I can't upload the online edition until the print edition has been cleared and sent to the printer."
"How can it go in the paper then?"
"It can't, put a note in there to say 'check the website for details'"
"oooh that's a good idea...."
Jesus ****ing Christ on a bike (for his one a day exercise.)
Sales Directors = “I’ve asked you for it and despite your answer I’ve told the Global Sales Director it’s a yes. I trust you to make it happen before the end of the quarter” <dial tone>
Surely you can publish a link address before uploading content?
Maybe I'm missing something but why couldn't you just send him the text for the link? That's all he needs for print and it doesn't have to be live yet.
Not using the free host that we use.
Not using the free host that we use.
even if you upload a holding document and replace later?
Will the printed link be clickable? If not, can you make it clickable please?
(I can do this all day). 🙂
No different to BDM’s in insurance when they speak to the underwriter.
I need you to do me a quote for XYZ for under £1k
I can’t I’m afraid. It’s edge of appetite and will be a minimum £5k and possibly more.
But I’ve already told the client you can do it...
even if you upload a holding document and replace later?
Having just had this shit dumped on me at the last minute and having to find a free host I'm not going to try something that may or may not work.
Its easiest to send them to the website they probably already have a link to on their tablet/pc/phone rather than make them type a longish random looking sequence. One click when they get there and they are sorted. Quicker and safer all round.
Will the printed link be clickable? If not, can you make it clickable please?
Oh yes. See also "Can you please stop copying text and links with all the hyperlink info as we have to strip it all out you lazy ****muffin."
But I’ve already told the client you can do it…
"And this affects me how?"
I can't read these without twitching 🙁
We need figures for loss of sales for next quarter. They need to be accurate its for the board.
We need figures for loss of sales for next quarter. They need to be accurate its for the board.
That reminds me of the time a manager asked me to compile him a list of all the things I hadn't thought of.
I did. It was quite short.
Some of my contacts cant plan for tomoz so how we are supposed to forecast 3m beats me.
It’s edge of appetite
Known unknowns, obvs.
We need figures for loss of sales for next quarter. They need to be accurate its for the board
that was last week - What do we need to remove from forecast.
"well if it involves operations or equipment installation remove it" "if its maintenance of existing equipment leave it - but expect request for discount"
https://dilbert.com/search_results?page=100&terms=Dilbert
I'm sure a lot of you will be familiar already, but for those of you who aren't, ladies and gentlemen I give you Dilbert. Thirty odd years of documenting this kind of sh#t. And often very funny with it
Our head of customer experience (which to be fair, the experience for customers was poor but somehow that was my fault [internal IT manager, but occasionally did content updates on the website]) used to get annoyed at me for not doing stuff she hadn't actually asked for. "I've been waiting 7 months for the website contact form to go to email address x instead of y" (My manager copied in). My reply, 5 mins later: "Hello, I have updated that for you. Apologies for the delay but I wasn't aware of the request - I have checked Zendesk requests and my emails and didn't see it there. Could you let me know when you requested this change so I can make sure we don't miss anything like this again? Thanks". Her reply "I'm too busy to keep on top of my emails".
She had the last laugh though - she got me fired.
Customer experience is still rubbish. And they also forgot to remove my global admin account for O365 (I was the only admin so no-one left there really understands the system), so if I was malicious I could really mess things up for them - maybe just institute a login policy with unmeetable requirements for the whole organisation or something. That would be rubbish since everyone works remotely now. I guess my suggestions about adding an IT element to the leavers policy fell on deaf ears.
And they also ignored me when I suggested that someone they fired (in a not particularly well-done manner) shouldn't be the only person with the login for the super-secret, OMG it's a disaster break-glass account that could fix things like, I dunno, a rogue ex-employee with admin rights sabotaging their IT system.
There is a world of SMH here, thank God I don't work in that environment: