[Closed] So who went to a fee paying school here?

state funded grammar, still one of the top schools in Norn Irn.

Hence I'm expecting a call from Cameron about a position in the cabinet, behind the icecream maker, next to the foreman grill

I did, Father was a pretty unpopular teacher at local high school so my life would've been hell there. Plus, they thought it would give me a broader and deeper education.

I enjoyed bits of it, didnt leave with a huge number of qualifications. I did lose touch with a lot of friends that I'd been to primary school with but did make friends that are now scattered around the globe.

Would I pay to put my kid to the same or similar school? To be honest I don't know. I'm not convinced that it did me much better than the other school would have. I did learn to play rugby, got free golf lessons and can fence though. All valuable education lessons I'm sure you'll agree.

And i don't think that the public school system affected me too badly. So toodles for now, One must go and beat the domestic staff....

G

"so who on here is prepared to MTFU to having had their education paid for?"

Very odd sentence/question that...

Does MTFU now = admit ?

I think you meant to say "So, who here went to a fee paying school?"

You'd have thought an expensive education would have taught you decent grammar.

I went to a fee paying school but it wasn't here, it was there.

I went to a fee paying school - Government paid for me which was nice....

And then to man up by playing it as a really hard fought childhood?... wft. Your parents made the choice to pay for you to go to a school rather than spend money on other things.. What is the big deal?

I am sure there ar elots of people who could not afford to go down the paid education route and still had to buy stuff by having a paper round etc.

As long as all the toil and hardship was worthwhile it doesn't really matter though does it? Did you end up getting better grades/job out of it?

No, but a family friend did and (as you) they scrimped and saved to do it with 3 kids.

I find it hilarious that a few of the people I've met up here in Scotland have assumed that a very large percentage of people from England are from fee-paying schools etc, a somewhat distorted view if ever there was one.

I am sure there ar elots of people who could not afford to go down the paid education route and still had to buy stuff by having a paper round etc.

Indeed I know plenty of people who's parents did without meals AND had kids in state schools, but who's kids did fine and are in well paid jobs working hard. I'm not sure where the question is heading really.

[url= http://www.pocklingtonschool.com/P500/P500_home.htm ]HERE[/url]
[img] [/img][url= http://www.pocklingtonschool.com/P500/P500_home.htm ]HERE[/url]
[url= http://www.army.mod.uk/training_education/training/17057.aspx ]THEN HERE[/url]

Anyway, I went to a fee paying boys school. This was back in South Africa in the '80s. Was and still is considered one of the best schools in the country. Not that the academics was brilliant, but our sport teams were amazing. Grey College is still one of the biggest Springbok rugby player producing schools in SA.

And I enjoyed being there. If I still lived back in SA I would have sent my boy there.

I did (private day school) from 13 to 18 with comp education before that.

Top 10 academically in the country and not cheap but not one of the mega expensive ones either. Paid for by my Dad's company as part of the package for a period of expat work. My parents are well off but not rich compared to many of the kids who were also at the school but also probably better off than many too whose families lived in very small houses, etc in order to pay the school bills (around £2k a term IIRC - early to mid 90s).

It was great. I still think it's crap that there's a need for them though.

me! I'm middle-class*, always have been! 🙂
Went to Stockport Grammar School, then the local high school, then another grammar school - the differences in my grades suggested that the private schools were far better at achieving good grades; the state school was perhaps better at getting me to actually stop coasting and apply myself.

Still think the Conservative Eton crew are toffs though! 😉

*-interesting point; apparently middle class in the UK is not quite a correct description, as it broadly means BC1 in terms of social grade, while strictly it would be applied to C1C2 types.

iDave sounds in the same position as me, Northern Ireland being a small place good chance it was the same school.

Made absolutely no difference to my life though, just a better educated slacker with unused old boy connections.

😆

Raising it because the noisy voices on here seem to assume private education = priveldge, which it doesn't have to.

Fair enough, Maxie, I didn't have a hard fought childhood, and I'm not trying to make a big deal out of my childhood, just interested to see who else out there didn't go through a state system and why. I think that bigG's reasons for attending a fee paying school are possibly more common than people think, and that there maybe a lot of lurkers out there who were educated privately but due to the general opposition to anything perceived as "upper class" on STW they might not admit/own up to it, hence my use of the phrase MTFU.

Did I get better grades/job - I'm a nurse specialist, so pretty much 1 grade up from where my father finished his nursing career. Higher ed was a part-time nursing degree done while working full time, I guess one thing the school did instill in me was a bit of a work ethic - if you didn't work & achieve decent grade they reserved the right to ask your parents to remove you.

I went to an independant day school from 11-18 (fee paying but not 'that' posh)

really glad my parents made the effort to get me in. When i first considered going i was pretty low in my class acedemically and got tutored specifically for the entrance exam to get me in because i probly wouldnt have made it otherwise. 'mostly' enjoyed my time there and came out with AAA and a love of sport and the outdoors and a place at a redbrick uni.

I think education is the most important thing in the world for your kids, if local state education offers the best then thats great but if local state is not as good as local private then I would pay the money

Same as Tiger - Maggie T paid for me 🙂

I went to a state comprehensive school in Sheffield. 30 kids per class, 12 classes per year. When the league tables were first published in the 80's it ranked 5th from bottom (out of about 50 Comps in the City).

I wouldn't want to send my kids to a similar school nowadays, so I would be prepared to pay for their education if it meant avoiding the type of school I went to.

In fairness, the school (and the teachers) weren't that bad. But the sheer number of pupils (and the social skills/upbringing/attitude of many) meant there were a lot of distractions which weren't always conducive to getting the most out of learning.

I went to Prep school and Public school - no shame here. Boarded from age 8 to 18. Thats all I knew, and had a brilliant time playing huge amounts of sport, cadet force etc etc.

My dad was sent to a boarding school in Edinburgh in his mid-teen's. He barely spoke English and his parents back home in HK scrimped and saved every penny to send him and his siblings. He benefited hugely, went to Edinburgh University with good grades (apart from English, which he failed) and became a doctor. He now earns a ridiculous amount of money and paid for his children to go to the same school.

Not the best or most prestigious fee-paying school but feel I received a very well-rounded education (good balance of sports, arts, and academic subjects).
I do however, feel my cousin (who went to local school in East Kilbride) has had to work far harder for her education. She was in the local paper for getting six A's at Higher, which is a huge achievement as she and her mum had to properly hound the school to let her do all three sciences, and she would often stay late at school and go in at weekends to do all her subjects, as there wasn't enough space in the normal timetable. If she had gone to my school there would have been no bother at all!

Wealth and class is a fair source of stigma for me, but I can't help my upbringing. I'm grateful for the experiences my parents have allowed me and hope to make the most of the opportunities I get.. which is all I can do surely.

If you went to a fee-paying school.....
How did you feel about the fact your education cost a lot more than most people? Proud, superior, ashamed?
I only ask because I've always admired the self-confidence of my friends who went to private school.

me.

I went to the local comprehensive school in glasgow in a farily tough area on the southside ( Hillpark if anyone nows it - catchemnet mainly Darnly Arden and carnwadric)

Great education ( in the broadest sense), great facilities. While I was there it was a true comprehensive system - no choice you went to the local school. The school has now been ruined as nearby there is another "comprehensive" ( if you have choice its not comprehensive) that is called shawlands academy. Despite it having much worse facilities the middleclass parents fight to send their kids there so leaving hillpark with only the unmotivated kids.

Ten classes in each year. 1st year taught in mixed ability classes, 2nd year streamed for maths and English, 3rd year onwards streamed for all subjects.

Hillpark was the last School to be refurbished before the economic troubles of the early 70s. When I was there in the mid 70s it had 2 gyms, large sports hall, climbing wall, hi tech language labs, swimming pool, 3 sports pitches and was the best equipped school in Glasgow including the private ones.

comprehensive education at its best.

I went to a fee paying school, but only 8% of the pupils paid the full fees, and a third of them, including me paid 0. They gave me pocket money and paid for my travel home in the holidays. Without my school, i would't of achieved he grades I did, and I wouldn't of gone to University.

Saying that my sister went to the same school, and she is a lazy, ugly, controlling, self centred, bitchy theif.

So I guess it's not only the school.

How did you feel about the fact your education cost a lot more than most people? Proud, superior, ashamed?

As the tax payer paid for mine (thanks everyone) I am very grateful.... I feel something but not sure what - something to do with the history and tradition of the schools that I wouldn't have from a comprehensive I imagine.

The thing is my family have got poorer over recent generations, my Grandfather was the 1st to go to Harrow instead of Eaton (advised as he was an unwell child apparently) and my Dad went to Dover College for some odd reason as was nowhere near home. I was the 1st day boy though I went to schools with boarders though they don't have boarders these days nor Saturday school and even accept girls - crazy days...!

ianpinder - Member
I went to a fee paying school, but only 8% of the pupils paid the full fees, and a third of them, including me paid 0. They gave me pocket money and paid for my travel home in the holidays. Without my school, [b]I[/b] would'[b]n[/b]t [b]have[/b] achieved [b]t[/b]he grades I did, and I wouldn't [b]have[/b] gone to University.

Why wouldn't you have gone to University?

I never like telling people I went to a fee-paying school - it is a source of embarrassment for me purely associated with money.
I do think my education has left me very sure of myself and my abilities - I have had it instilled in me that if I have a degree of intelligence and apply it I will succeed. Nothing in life has ever shown me otherwise. So I might be getting a rather nasty shock when I go out into the real world..

miaowing_kat - Member

I do think my education has left me very sure of myself and my abilities - I have had it instilled in me that if I have a degree of intelligence and apply it I will succeed.

What's specific about a fee-paying education which create that mind-set? Surely that same level of confidence can be instilled in all children?

Problem is it's almost impossible to say you wouldn't have had the same grades/uni etc that you got at private school. It's nice to think you wouldn't as then the cash wasn't wasted, but ultimately if you bother to try you can achieve exactly the same ends from either start point. Fees paid or not, I see very little difference between people as a whole from either system, other than self-confidence. But often that self confidence is only skin-deep.

Age 11-14 - RGS Guildford (fee paying Grammar) in Slurrey.

Then moved to Cornwall and went to a Comp - highly UNrecommended at that age but all worked out fine in the end.

Similar "debate" here for our little one too.

My wife did the opposite - Comp (yep the same as me!) and got all "A" and "A*" for GCSE then a posh boarding school and didn't get on with it so A levels grades dipped (still got ABC though).

TBH I think it's great to see both sides.

I have never felt embarrased, proud or superior - its just a school at the end of the day. I have friends from all social spectrums and likewise if they can't take you for who you are and vice versa then not worth knowing them.

Has it given me a drive to explore the world and push myself - who knows the answer to that, I hope that I would be roughly the same had I gone to my local comprehensive.

But then I woud also say that I am probably not the norm in respects to the average product of an expensive Public school.

How did you feel about the fact your education cost a lot more than most people?

Lucky/priviledged I guess. It's the kids whose parents teach them that somehow it makes them superior that give the rest of us a bad name...

waderider, was it royal, and in a town called dungannon?

druidh - I'm sure it can. I'm only commenting on my experience. I have always been in a fee-paying school since I was 7 so I don't know any different. I obviously can't say how I would have 'turned out' if I'd not gone to those schools. All I know is that I had access to excellent facilities, I always had teachers who encouraged me and pushed me to do what I wanted, and that most classes were good working environments

The only difference I really see day to day is that people often comment that I'm very 'well spoken'. Though whether this is because I went to a fee-paying school or simply because I don't have a Scottish accent, I don't know 😕

I did.

http://www.royalhospitalschool.org/

It was hard. Although i remember it was called 'character building' when i was there. All soft now though - they let non Navy kids in.

Went to a boarding school as father was in the RAF, alternative would be changing schools every couple of years which doesn't really work when you're doing GCSE or A-Level curriculums (as they vary from school to school). That meant although we were middle class I was one of the poorer kids there (I remember when the parents bought an old Skoda as a second car, back in the day when Skodas were actually shite, I used to get them to park around the corner outside the school 😛 ).

Got a good education there (although school on Saturday wasn't fun) but as there were enforced study periods in the evenings I never really learnt self-discipline so when I went to Uni I ended up spending most of my time in pubs and dropped out after a year...

From my school a lot of folk went to university including ones who you wouldn't expect to. Partly because they had the aspirational kids at the school that provided a role model.

I got 3 A and 2B at higher. I would probably have done 6 highers in a private school and might well have got a couple more As. However it was plenty to get me into uni. some of my friends from school would never have got into a selective school at 11 - but as late developers flourished and went on to uni.

My dad who was one of the top educationalists in scotland was convinced that [u]across the whole population[/u] a true comprehensive system gave the best results. top kids like me still get high enough grades to go to university and get a more rounded education. Kids in the middle do better in a comp as they are not either struggling to keep up with only academic kids or haven't been stuck in a sink school.

Kids at the bottom fail anywhere - but just a few of them get motivated to work hard by the example of the top kids. If those top kids are not there then there is no role model for these kids to follow.

The other aspect is if you split the academic kids apart then the best teachers tend to go with them - so the kids who don't get into the top school get the worst teachers as well.

When the bullying I got was at its worst I was given the choice of going to a fee paying school but I didn't want to.

Edit

Got a good education there (although school on Saturday wasn't fun) but as there were enforced study periods in the evenings I never really learnt self-discipline so when I went to Uni I ended up spending most of my time in pubs and dropped out after a year...

A common issue with private school kids that is less comon with state school kids

No iDave, Royal Belfast Academical Institution. Worth a punt anyhow.

Lots of toffs on here. 😉

State comprehensive (formerly a grammar school) all the way. It was great. Did pretty well academically as did most of my peers.

The main advantage of public school that I have noticed amongst people I know is the self-confidence thing - being confident of succeeding in life is to some extent a self-fulfilling prophecy imo.

There is of course a downside to that self-confidence when it goes too far...

as there were enforced study periods in the evenings I never really learnt self-discipline so when I went to Uni I ended up spending most of my time in pubs and dropped out after a year...

I know people who really struggled with that too.

A common issue with private school kids that is less comon with state school kids

Evidence please TJ?

Not in my experience of that same situation. Every minute of your life is organised for you at a boarding school and this helps (i think) in instilling a work ethic in people that is hard to shake.

It worked with our school anyway. When we got to Uni we were noticabely more disciplined about all aspects of the experience from study through to drinking/recreation etc.

It may have helped that we had a school bar in upper 6th that showed us the value and responsibility needed to drink sensibly and apportion time properly.

Are there any studies out there about this?

My folks worked hard, saved & were able to so they did.
Given the same, wouldn't you?

It never crosses my mind that I went to a boarding school (in Yorkshire) where 1/3 of my fellow inmates were padbrats (Armed Forces kids), as at that time the Armed Forces gave an £ allowance to those who wanted their kids schooled in the UK rather than moving them from school to school every 2-3 years around the globe.

It was 1982, I was 18, collectively we as a nation were drip-fed the Falklands Conflict, so I abandoned my plans after A levels to read Geography at Plymouth (?) and enroled into the Army instead. Fun times!

A common issue with private school kids that is less comon with state school kids

My experience suggests it's more to do with kids whose parents were very controlling then running wild once they get the freedom of uni... Maybe kids at public schools have more controlling parents?

My folks worked hard and saved. They sent me to the school where they knew I would get the best education not the best exam results. It helps that they were both in Education thus knew what was real and what was bullshine

You send your kids to boarding school you have no control!

Having parents in Education might have been something of a hindrance. Would they have seen such a move as almost unacceptable, even hypocritical in sending little Jonny to a State School if they could have afforded a private education but were they themselves in the States school system?

Druidh

I would not of applied myself at my local school. I probably wouldn't have got the support, plus with my mother being ill I wouldn't of concentrated on my studies.

Obviously non of this can be proved without going and living the other path, but I look at some of the righter kids I was with a primary school and look at where they are today and I'm pleased with my decision to go.

Ti29er

I chose to go to my school, my reasons may of been wrong but my mother still left it up to me.

How did you feel about the fact your education cost a lot more than most people? Proud, superior, ashamed?

Certainly none of those feelings. I went to boarding school from the age of 8 because my Dad was in the Forces (discount!). It's not something I had any control over.

I think that self-confidence you refer to comes from the attitude of those doing the educating, rather than the fees being paid. It was impressed upon us that nothing was impossible if you put your mind to it - most of the teachers were passionate about pushing us, physically (cross-country runs at 6am - yay!) and mentally. I still remember teachers who changed the course of my life.

I was state educated from 16-18 and the difference was palpable. Most of the teachers really couldn't be bothered: I was actively discouraged from applying for Oxbridge because nobody did had done that sort of thing before. So I had to apply by myself.

Given the same, wouldn't you?

No.

I would not of applied myself at my local school.

my reasons may of been wrong

Would you [b]have[/b] learned correct English though?

Ian.
Did you not select your school based on other criteria other than what was best for you in the long run?
Maybe your pals were going to school A, so you naturally chose school A perhaps?

I'd like to believe that aged 13 I was in no way mature enough to select which school was best for my own education else I'd have selected one with girls in the dorm and beer on tap!

My folks worked hard, saved and were able to so they did.
Given the same, wouldn't you?

Having been one of few that's done BOTH I'd say there is no right or wrong and it depends on your local area schools.

One thing I would NEVER do is send our little one to boarding school - almost everyone I know who has been to one from an early age is messed up in some way.

I think it private or state school choice depends on the child - some will thrive anywhere.

One thing private schools can do (having been to one and got a Bro in law that teaches at Milfield) is make kids completely lose any sense of perspective. They need to realise that while their parent(s) are well off, they still rely on them. To me having rich parents does not entitle anyone to think they are superior - sadly this happens all too often. I know because I nearly went down that route and am ashamed I got so close to being a complete ar5e. My school (RGS Guildford) was fee paying AND selective -you can imagine the sort of kid that you can become with that double hit of elitism?!

+1 TJ.
Both parents work in education, my preference would be for a society where money can't buy privilege in such a necessary commodity.

It's not all about education though.

I've ended up living 5 miles from my old Prep school and it really is a fantastic place - an old Manor House with incredible grounds and sporting facilities. Not sure it's worth the cost but still.

The interesting thing about teachers in private schools is that they need not be qualified teachers where as in state schools they must. In the now increasing unlikely event that I have any kids a private education would not be something that I would choose for them. All the independent research that I've read points to the fact that state schools provide a better education and the experience from within my extended family certainly bears this out.

Such small minded views.

NEITHER is right or wrong. To call private schools a "waste of money" is just daft but to try and use a private school education as a form of oneupmanship is also wrong.

Life is about balance - try and bear that in mind when slating something you haven't experienced.

The main advantage of public school that I have noticed amongst people I know is the self-confidence thing - being confident of succeeding in life is to some extent a self-fulfilling prophecy imo.

That's exactly what I was getting at. Good point about it being self-fulfilling.

I was offered a part-scholarship to a private school at 11 - didn't go for it as we'd only just moved in, and I'd just had to make new friends. So I went to relatively quiet rural comprehensive (relatively good apparently) I do sometimes wonder how differently I'd have turned out. I was quite quiet, but academic, so did OK got 8As at GCSE. But would I have been more self-confident? Hmmmm

Me - prep school, public school (the latter FOC as I was on a scholarship). I'm bright, but lazy, so have always coasted. Played lots of sport at school, drank lots of beer, chased the girls in the 6th form, could have had a, ahem, "class A" education if I'd wanted.

Mrs North - state primary, state comprehensive secondary, state 6th form college. She is hard working, also bright, and is one of 6 (I think) from her year (of only 60ish) at secondary school to have a PhD.

We met at university (one of the decent ones).

What does all that tell us, people? Precisely f*** all, I think.

😀

This follows on partly from a previous thread that asked something along the lines of "if you had the funds, would you send your kids into private education?".

The overwhelming majority came out in favour of just that, given the funds they'd send their kids to private school, and hang the self-styled socialism and ideal-world clap-trap.

This thread also pre-supposes those who did go to private schools were bright enough to have passed 11 Plus or Common Entrance.

A common issue with private school kids that is less comon with state school kids

anything to back this up?

anyway.

i went private, to a good school in york. i loved the school, it operated in a way which suited the way i work, made me feel valued and gave me some (but not a huge amount) of confidence - something i had a lot less of before i went.

i got good grades, and got into a very good university.

i very much appreciate the money my parents invested in my education. even if academically i could have done as well at the local state school, the facilities, opportunities and environment i was in was such a valuable and interesting experience.

if i have enough money, i'd send my kids to a private school, and if i ended up in york, i'd send them to the same one. however, i'd not send them to boarding school.

I [i]have[/i] enough money and my daughter goes to state school.

Hungry monkey - only that it was my dads view - and he is a real expert on education

My mum wanted me to apply for a scholarship at Queens in Taunton in Somerset but she asked my opinion and I didn't want to so I didn't. Agree with ooOOoo - got 8 GCSE's too, wanted to know everything about everything so that helped. In my 30's now and glad I didn't go, self confidence is not something I'm known for, but it's come in its own time. What you'd call a late starter, probably. Temped for years. Only recently worked out that if I work hard enough & try hard enough, anything might actually be possible.
Private school might have taught me that at 16, but I doubt it, I'd have been too busy fretting about everyone else having more of everything than I did.

I think it depends, for me at least, how good the local comprehensive is. I took the route of moving house to a much more expensive area to be in the catchment of a very good school. The additional mortgage was still less than private fees, so the fact that my daughter received a 1st class education and contact with kids from widely differing backgrounds was very positive.

I passed the entrance exam to go to a private school (Robert Gordons in Aberdeen) but for some reason, which escapes me I decided to go to a new comprehensive in Cults. No regrets really and I still received an excellent education.......I think!

I went to Bolton School (in Bolton suprisingly enough). Fee paying.

I'd send my kids to private school if I thought it would give them more oportunity. It's not always the case though, depends on what the local shools are like. I'm proud of my school and I think it had a major positive impact on my life. Not sure how the local comp. would have faired might have been ok but you can't live both to compare.

Talk of toffs says more about the person talking than the subject of the conversation. IME most people are fine once you know them, they may appear to be different because of the way they behave but its not better or worse, just different. I know plenty who went to prestigious bording schools and they are all good people. To call someone a Toff is no better than calling someone "common" who went to a comprehensive. It's an opionion formed on prejudice rather than fact.

The big difference between state and private education is the attitudes of pupils I reckon.

I spent the first 2 years of high school at a particularly poor state school - think chairs being thrown at teachers during lessons, that sort of thing. To do well at that school meant persecution from fellow students - basically if you were doing well you were bullied.

Which didn't bother me that much as I was a sort of middle-acheiver anyway.

My parents got pissed off with my serial under-acheiving and sent me to private school for 3rd-5th year. The attitude was totally different there - almost everyone wanted to do well and was driven to do so. This has nothing to do with the teaching (though class sizes were smaller) and everything to do with the sort of people who were sent there.

Most people who went to my state school would have been lucky to bag a couple of highers, I got 5. Probably worth it.

jonb - it was a joke - bit sensitive aren't we?

I do think though, that I find it easier to get on with people from all sorts of different backgrounds than some others I know - lots of very unpleasant judgemental snobbishness about (and fear of) 'chavs' on here for instance. Whether that is a result of going to a state school I don't know.

I think it very much depends on which school, not state/private, my mum got me into a comp that wasn't fed from my primary school which was very good (the local one was the chair throwing kind mentioned above). i left with 11 gcse's while friends of mine who went to the 'rougher' school failed entirely despite being as intelligent/motivated. there is a private school locally where one of my friends went and he is now an estate agent - cant say that was worth the money! It would be easy to say that was me, not the school but i insisted on leaving to do my a' levels elsewhere and failed completely at college

Ti29er - Member
Ian.
Did you not select your school based on other criteria other than what was best for you in the long run?
Maybe your pals were going to school A, so you naturally chose school A perhaps?

I'd like to believe that aged 13 I was in no way mature enough to select which school was best for my own education else I'd have selected one with girls in the dorm and beer on tap!

I was 10 at the time, my friends went to the local school, I chose the boarding school 250miles away from home.

I understood several reasons why I wanted to go. In my eyes the school was better (not educationally) but it hads its own professional theater, marching band, sports centre, its buildings were massive etc, in my eyes theses things were cool, plus it was different.

However I also understood the importence of learning and thought that i would get a good education here, but I didn't compare it to the education I would get here.

The biggest reason I went there was because my mum was I'll and constantly in and out of hospital and I wanted stability rather then in and out of foster care.

In the end, I failed the English entrance exam and had to choose between going to school home, or having an hours private tutoring after school in english everyday for 4 months which I hated and redoing the exam.

In the end I got in and I've turned out ok.

 

I think it very much depends on which school, not state/private

Yeah I reckon so - mine was a good comp - I know people who went to a local fee paying school which was renowned for being pretty rubbish and has now closed down. They didn't do very well academically.

One more here for a prep and public school education, boarding from 10. The educational alternatives in Nigeria and Egypt (where my dad was working in IT) weren't too appealing... I loved it both academically and in sport.

When they did come back to work in the UK my parents gave me the option to go to the local state school but, unsurprisingly, all my mates were at Marlborough so being a selfish mid-teen why would I have opted out to make my parents' lives easier?

Interesting comments above about public school being very organised and subsequently people struggling with life at university. My experience was the opposite, as it was very autonomous at school in how you structured your work so long as you delivered it on time (bit like my current workplace). Having taken a year out and worked on building sites and the like, to me many of the freshers seemed very lost to be out on their own and in some cases (understandably) homesick, while others really didn't seem to understand that being at university really doesn't entitle you to anything other than what you earn.

Our daughter now goes to a small, independent, non-selective school as a day pupil and it has had a dramatic effect on her confidence since, as others have commented, she's surrounded by peers with similar attitudes to being academically successful i.e. being clever doesn't mean you're a geek. She is still trying to shake off that perception from her previous (state primary) schools and she's getting there, it's great to see it happening. She researched all the various schools that she wanted to have a look at and opted for this one, as she was clearly not happy about moving up to the large secondary school in our area which had been high profile in the news about violence.

My in-laws were both teachers in the state system so my wife has taken some flak from her dad for our decision, but neither of us are prepared to sacrifice our daughter's future opportunities on some ideological altar. It's up to us to give her the best set of options we can and (in our opinion) it's what we're doing. We know we're privileged to have that choice open to us.

There does seem to be a bit of an assumption from some people that academic success and a financially rewarding career are the be-all and end-all - being a well-rounded person is just as important surely?

Ah I remember the days playing the kids from boarding school at rugby and hurling. They had the silky skills, but we beat seven colours of shit out of them all the same...I used to love doing it when their parents were watching. We'd tease mummy and daddy about how awful it was that the one weekend this month they'd come to see their lad, they had to watch him get his arse kicked sideways. A right bunch of noncey softies.

There does seem to be a bit of an assumption from some people that academic success and a financially rewarding career are the be-all and end-all - being a well-rounded person is just as important surely? /quote]

Sort of where I was going. I'm happy. Maybe really not being means you value it more, but happiness is my top indicator when deciding jobs, houses, friendships, relationships. But if I don't dread Monday morning come Sunday night, I've won. And sod the pay packet.

 

I did: went through 2-3 of them and three different curricula, in fact. In every respect apart from exam results, it was a complete ripoff and I certainly would never send my own kids there. A quarter of the teachers were great, a quarter were just about OK and half of them were hopeless - alcoholics, lazy, no formal pedagogical education at all. Oh, and a genuine child sex abuser, too.

Kids with what in retrospect were very obvious learning disabilities and emotional difficulties were not diagnosed or given extra support, were allowed to get buried. There was a huge amount of bullying (physical certainly but mental was much worse - honestly, the ****ing trauma that these children went through at other kids' hands and with no escape to family or parents).

There was zero interest in dietary or mental health, and there was vast amounts of time wasted doing pointless, Victorian nonsense. There was no interest in creating useful or rounded people, and there were no academic/intellectual extra-curricular trips or activities (apart from the occasional play). But if you wanted to play rugby or hockey fifteen hours a day, you'd be bussed all over Western Europe for it.

All of this particularly ironic considering the kids' parents were mostly focaccia-eating lawyers, management consultants, architects etc that would never have treated their employees like this or run a business in the same way.

Problem is it's almost impossible to say you wouldn't have had the same grades/uni etc that you got at private school. It's nice to think you wouldn't as then the cash wasn't wasted, but ultimately if you bother to try you can achieve exactly the same ends from either start point.

But that ignores the differences in style and purpose of education, pupil:teacher ratios, materials availability etc etc which in every way private schools achieve better on, with a knock-on impact for exam/uni achievement. There's nothing special about the kids that are going through the system, it's mostly the system that makes the difference - and that much is demonstrated by the kids who get scholariships to private schools, who all get the same results as their paying peers. Throw the same resources at any average kid and they'll do as well.

Look at this way: the results that I got leaving school were relatively uncommon and when they occur, the vast majority of kids that get them are at private schools, despite those kids making up a small minority of total schoolkids. So the reason I got those results is either that I'm a natural-born smartypants or because I had more resources ploughed into my education than the average kid. I'd love to think it's the first - but really it's the second.

Interested subject I think.

Persoannly I went to a good state school in North East Nottingham, ability wise i'd say i'm slightly above average, got good GCSE's (12 A-C)
Did my A-Levels at the same school and got ok grades (BB...D)
Went to Sheffield Hallam uni.

In contrast my friend at University went to Stowe private school: http://www.stowe.co.uk/
Boarded from around 8 till 18 @ £10k a term, with 3 terms a year...
Thats right...he's was studying with me at Sheffield Hallam!

I had a good upbringing, however I think that a state school is just the best option, not only will you get good grades if you apply yourself, you also experience a great social spectrum, and don;t just meet rich folk. Now I know now all private schools ate £10k a term, but even so. I also know that my State school was not a inner city hole. If it was I suspect I may have a very different view.

Sort of yes and no: http://www.doyrms.com/index.html

At the time I was there it was a MoD funded selective boarding school for kids of soldiers. The main entry requirement was that one of your parents had been in the army for more than three years. The parental contribution was very low, £500 a term or so. As for posh, army brats in general are not known for being too well bred 😉 Let's say there was a range of characters there.

After reading this thread I looked at the wiki article to find out what the current situation is ('cos wiki is always right!) only to find that civvy kids are allowed in now for fees of £10,500 a year! Gobsmacked. Yes, I was lucky to go there and not just because of the education, which was reasonable, but more for the great facilities and range of activities which we had on offer.

The thought of Sunday morning cross-country still terrifies me though!

I was state school educated myself, but in a boys grammar school so not exactly mainstream. Well educated staff but a very competitive environment - you sank or swam under your own steam with little help offered. Surrounded by the brightest youfs of the area was very motivating - it simply was not cool amongst your peers to fail so you worked hard to keep up. Strangely we got called "snobs" by kids from one of the local fee paying schools - maybe we were, but from an academic perspective rather than fiscal superiority.

I taught for 8yrs in the state sector before moving to run a department in one of the UK's most expensive (£28K pa), but highly alternative schools based in Hampshire. Those who know their schools can probably work out where. Whilst I had colleagues in my previous schools that were on the top of their game, the ability, commitment and sheer professionalism of my current colleagues taken as a whole is beyond compare. Staff are well provided for and don't tend to burn out through some of the excess and conflict experienced in the state sector so the staff has a great mix of long standing experienced colleagues and new, highly qualified, blood. Combine that with great facilities, reduced class sizes and a cohort of generally motivated peers and a child has everything available to them to have the best start in life. What they bring to the experience in terms of attitude, values and parental support will make as big a difference as anything the school could provide however.

If I had had kids would I have sent them here? Before I came here probably not, but now I'm not so sure. It would depend on the quality of the state provided alternatives available.

convert - does it begin with a B... 😉

might do....

thought so. so do the kids address you by your first name?