[Closed] So who went to a fee paying school here?

I went to a really crap comprehensive but send my kids to a fee paying school. In an ideal world state schools would be just as good, but in the real world they're mostly not even remotely close. I've just worked out that so far it's cost over £150,000 in fees alone however I don't regret it in the slightest!

convert - do you have a decent loop for steep hangers as parents are in West Meon so only a hop away.

Not a loop as such but there is a cheeky traverse along it which you can link up with other bits and bobs - definitely a twilight ride. Email in profile and I'll send you some info.

been thinking about this thread while out and about today and i think that in this world where who you know is just as important as what you know - i can see a great benefit from private schools. . . my dad was happy to give my mates summer jobs working on his building sites . . . but what if id been in school with Bernie Eccleston's kids? fancy a summer job in F1 anyone?. . . but seriously extrapolate that into real job-searches and the benefit of your schoolmates parents being 'high flyers' is obvious.

jonah tonto - yup and research suggests there is still a huge amount of jobs that are either not advertised, or are mainly got through 'networking' etc.

So private schools entrench the rich/poor divide and build unfairness into the system.

State school educated at a large rural comprehensive in Somerset. Went on to graduate from Oxford. Then trained as a nurse (but that's another story...).

No complaints from me. I regard my A-Level Geology tutor as an utter hero.

I did for the first 2 years of my schooling as we lived in the Netherlands and Shell paid for our fees at the British School there. I think it was too early on in my education for it to make any impression though, I can barely remember it. Rest of my education was all state, although I was very lucky that our local comp was consistently one of the best in the area, possibly my dad would have gone with a different option if that had not been the case, especially given our family circumstances – boarding school would have made a lot of sense.

I have had it instilled in me that if I have a degree of intelligence and apply it I will succeed.

What I did find entertaining was all the public school people at my uni (Edinburgh) who looked down on us state school people, and there were quite a few who did. We’d all ended up at the same uni so not quite sure what their problem was really.

grum don't paint every school with the same brush.

So private schools entrench the rich/poor divide and build unfairness into the system.

Ketchup? 😆

grum don't paint every school with the same brush.

Huh?

Ketchup?

Huh?

ooOOoo - Member
If you went to a fee-paying school.....
How did you feel about the fact your education cost a lot more than most people? Proud, superior, ashamed?

Superior :lol:. Seeing as our school got stoned (by which I mean had bricks thrown at it on a regular basis) by the local state school chavs then no shame came into it. We didn't retaliate.

They were obviously jealous besides, my parents were still taxpayers and therefore subsidising the local state schools even though we'd not taken our places up.

not all private schools entrench the rich/poor divide.

some bring them togeather and ensure every one gets the same chance.

i didnt mean my comments to be negative - i was simply thinking that although there are some very good state schools, and the level of education can be as good or better there are extra 'bonus' reasons for sending your kids to private school

Superior :lol:. Seeing as our school got stoned (by which I mean had bricks thrown at it on a regular basis) by the local state school chavs then no shame came into it. We didn't retaliate.

They were obviously jealous besides, my parents were still taxpayers and therefore subsidising the local state schools even though we'd not taken our places up.

Definitely no snobbishness on display there then. 🙄

not all private schools entrench the rich/poor divide.

some bring them togeather and ensure every one gets the same chance.

How, apart from a scholarships for a lucky few?

As a teacher I find fee paying schools a bit of a mystery, I'd love to visit one for a few days and see what they are like. When I used to work at a Uni it was always really easy to spot the fee paying school kids as they were much more confident and would happily give you their views on almost anything even when it was obvious they knew almost nothing about what they were talking about. They were also though no better prepared for university life or university education and did no better (like for like comparing degrees with a level results they did worse on average.)

I would however never consider working at one or sending my kids to one as I dont agree with them on a moral basis, again being a teacher I reckon I'll be able to help my kids achieve anyway. I grew up in a single parent family for most of my schooling, my mum was a nurse, private schools werent an option, even when my lorry driver step dad came on the scene. I have a good degree, MRes and PhD, although I do seem to lack the drive in terms of careeer that many private school educated people seem to have.

My view is that state schools are underachieving - if they raised their game, there'd be very little need for private schools, beyond snob value.

My view is that state schools are underachieving

care to explain why you think that and what could be done about it?

My view is that state schools are underachieving

Maybe if the parents of all the kids who send their kids to private schools instead took an interest in their local comprehensives (joined PTAs - helped with fundraising for trips/events etc) they might do a bit better...

Grum a lucky few? Admittedly it is one of the exceptions.....

Christ's Hospital is unique for a British independent school in that it educates a large proportion of its students free, and most at a reduced rate. This stems from its founding charter as a charitable school. School fees are paid on a means-tested basis (in 2006/7 families with a net assessed income of £7,499 pa or less pay nothing in contributions), with substantial subsidies paid by the school so that students from all walks of life are able to have a high quality, independent school education that would otherwise be beyond the means of their parents. In 2005/6 average parental income assessed was £14,275; over 50% of pupils are from families with a household income of less than £13,000; half are from single parent families; a third would qualify for free school dinners in the state system (compared to the national average of 14.3%).
In 2005/6 18% of parents paid nothing at all and about a third paid less than £250 per year per child. The entrance process uses exams and interviews and prefers to award school places to those who show academic potential, that would benefit from the high quality environment that the school offers, and who would otherwise not be able to afford it. The number of pupils who pay the full fee (£18,400) is limited to 6% of the School population; in 2005/6 the average annual parental contribution was £2,785 and 98% of parents received some form of support.

In 2005/6 82% of children attending CH came from state or grant-maintained schools. In 2006 19% of children accepting places were assessed as being in "very high" need, 64% in "medium to high" need and 17% in "low" need.[1]

care to explain why you think that and what could be done about it?

A large part of a school's performance is its intake - I read a while ago that class was the biggest predictor of educational attainment there was in the UK.

However, my experience of state school (comp) is that as a fairly able pupil, I was bored, and didn't do as well as I could have as a result. In fact, a friend and I were talked out of applying for Oxbridge by our teachers.

Talking with friends who went to grammars and private schools, they had enormous drives to get people into the top unis and so on.

If someone has kids and is ambitious for their futures, that sort of thing will make them run a mile from the comprehensive system, and into the arms of grammars and private schools.

As a result, the issue of intake becomes a vicious circle. The only way to break it is to show that you are serious about raising standards.

I was a boarder from the age of 7. I have mixed emotions based on my time at school, and overall I wouldn't want my children to board, but they'll definitely be going to private secondary school at the least if we can manage it (they're only 1 & 3 at the moment).

my experience of state school

So no evidence to back your opinion then? When did you go to school?

Did any of you posh school people ever have to deal with nipples on your pork?

For me, I think the public school system comes into its own from the age of about 10/11, which would be prep school.
Some of the Faith primary schools I know of are absolutely outstanding, but get shot of their charges at 11.
Then Prep school then boarding school.

Now all I need are some kids!

Fee paying school from 11, mainly because my parents saved and scrimped for it. Local comp wasnt up to much but the rot set in at primary school round our way, boys were just agricultural cannon fodder so no time was invested in teaching us.

Amazing how many people went to private school becasue their parent scrimped and saved, seems like you cannot quite bring yourself to say that the proles are just lazy good for nothings.

For waht its worth I bet my mum scrimped and saved harder just to put me in a school uniform and shoes............... and yes I am bitter before you mention it.

PPS james hook is a great rugby player. see red button

Definitely no snobbishness on display there then

The question got asked, I answered it, put up with it.

I didn't feel the need to go around to someones elses school throwing stones. Was I meant to say embarrassed? No ****ing way! I knew/know many of those from the state secondary as we'd gone to primary school together, and met up again in 6th form. They'd grown up a lot by then, most progressed into university (I didn't), and if we were all to sit down now and compare salaries/jobs etc, I'm sure I'm probably no better off than anyone else i was at primary school with.

I went through the standard system, but luckily I'm old enough that it was when Teaching was still seen as a profession and to be respected by all (esp. parents).

My son has been in private education all the time, starting in nursery and now first year at Senior School. Is it expensive, yes if you haven't got it, but working in Tesco's would pay for it - or not having a flash car...

Was it worth it, probably, as he has my 'could do better' gene - so needs the attention/watching you only get in a small class. I'd also suggest that the teachers seem happier (and more committed) than their public counterparts.

And we were playing cricket on the drive, and one of his friends joined to play - 12 years old and didn't know how to hold a bat! Apparently local school doesn't do cricket, and nor does it have a 'competitive' Sports Day!

My eledest went to what was supposed to be one of the best state schools in our county but to be honest it was pretty poor, we now send our youngest to a convent fee paying school but we only have limited funds so we dont have holidays etc and rely heavily on in-laws for child care as we have to work long hours.............is it worth it well yes she is getting a great education and all that goes with it just means we have to work bloody hard to keep her there.
No privaliges for me when I was her age I was in a council house until I was 25 with no phone and an outside loo!

but working in Tesco's would pay for it

working in Tescos would pay for it... as long as you don't also have to pay a mortgage,
utility bills,
cost of living

working in Tesco's would pay for it

Dont talk shite!!

How much are the fees?

Google suggests:

verage annual boarding charges stand at £24,009 and day fees £10,713

10 grand a year disposable income when working in tesco's sorry but you sound detached from reality

Love the tags:

'plumbs in mouth'

What, so privately schooled types have an array of pipework and valves in our mouths? I'm not sure I understand...

10 grand a year disposable income when working in tesco's sorry but you sound detached from reality

Maybe he's referring to some sort of managerial position?!

[i]10 grand a year disposable income when working in tesco's sorry but you sound detached from reality [/i]

No I'm referring to the fact my wife wasn't working, and therefore her just going back to work paid for the school fees - and its nothing like that when they are younger, and only just now at that level now he's in senior school.

And yes while I/we've always earnt far more than the average (somebody has to, to make it an average), we've not spent/wasted it like many I see.

seems like you cannot quite bring yourself to say that the proles are just lazy good for nothings.

Probably because ****lessness isnt about background and anyone can have it tough.

Probably because ****lessness isnt about background and anyone can have it tough.

You'll have to explain how this is related to my point.

br your wife went out and got a job, thats not scrimping and saving to me thats just normality. Your attitude speaks volumes as far as I can see, private education is a huge privilidge out of the reach of the majority, if you can afford it good luck but if you could lay of the "we scrimped and saved" garbage I would be happier, not that you should care what I think really which is kind of my point.

[i]br your wife went out and got a job, thats not scrimping and saving to me thats just normality. Your attitude speaks volumes as far as I can see, private education is a huge privilidge out of the reach of the majority, if you can afford it good luck but if you could lay of the "we scrimped and saved" garbage I would be happier, not that you should care what I think really which is kind of my point. [/i]

anagallis_arvensis

I didn't say anything about scrimping/saving, just commenting that others spend/waste their money differently...

But since you brought the subject up, I could have just done an easy local job rather than the +70 hour weeks with many nights away all across the globe!

And since I was laid off, its my wife that's been working flat out.

Private Education is not a priviledge, its something that you choose and pay for, along with paying for everyone else.

Private Education is not a priviledge

righto

If private education is not a privelege, then I struggle to understand the following:
Backgrounds of the majority of the attendees not being of the Council variety
Accents of the majority of the attendees being Queens English or something approximating it
That what you've basically described is that your wife went to work for the sole purpose of paying nothing but the fees (therefore indicating you paid for everything else and earnt a pretty penny)
That if it's so damn easy to pay for places in private schools, why every middle class family isn't doing it
Why there is a need for scholarships at all

If all you have in your purse at the end of the month is 2p, you've applied for every job going in the local paper but every job going is 10 posts, so lots of applicants, then where exactly do you suggest someone manages to scrimp and save [i]from[/i] exactly?

As far as I'm concerned, if you're smart enough to get a well paid job which allows you to 'scrimp and save' to send your kids to private school, good on you. But expecting everyone else to be smart enough is a bit um....well, silly.

why every middle class family isn't doing it?

That's pretty obvious isn't it?
There are some serious sacrifices being made across middle England and some parent's clearly aspire for their children to have a better education than the local authority can provide.

This might mean the household has little or no disposable income once the fees have been met, but the parents have ascertained that their children are bright enough, motivated enough (and let's be honest here, not all kids are) & should therefore get the best education that can be afforded. It also suggests that the local schools, in the parent's eyes, simply aren't good enough for Little Jonny.

This is very much a life-style choice and not something many middle England families manage, for a myriad of reasons. Take away the bulk of the families income and see what’s left in the kitty. If after that you decide that Little Jonny can manage in the local Comp, in turn meaning Ma & Pa & the rest of the family do not have to do without, then that is also a life-style choice.

Choices. Pure & simple. If you don't think Little Jonny will reach his potential locally and you can pay, then clearly some decide to dig deep and pay up. It's nice to be in that position I'd say!

I'd agree entirely with that. I was more pointing out that being able to afford to scrimp and save to even hope of saving 10k a year, is a position of privelege that not everyone enjoys. I'm not saying everyone should enjoy it, I'm simply saying that thinking it's an avenue open to everyone if they just try hard enough is silly.

I'm going to be bluntly honest as to my beliefs re private schools...

I pay for my kids education to give them every possible (unfair) advantage ie I pay to have the names of their institutions on their CV's in the future to give them a leg up above all the other induviduals who will come out with the same results (or possibly higher).

If their schools give them unfair advantage then so be it, job done.

I know it's ethically wrong, but the state system is largely sh1te (despite the fact that there are some amazing teachers working in the state system - system failure as opposed to teaching failure) so I choose to work two jobs to put my kids in private schools (and give them advantages that I never had).

There are some other major advantages like brilliant teaching where the kids are encouraged to love learning first and foremost, they are in classes with a max of 16 kids, the sports facilities are fantastic, they learn languages from the age of 5, they can choose music lessons including piano and violin from the age of 6 etc etc plus plus plus. They love going to school and everyday seems full and exciting for them.

Some people spend their money on expensive cars, some on large houses, some on class A drugs; I spend mine on my kids' schooling (and live in a small house and drive an older car).

I pay to have the names of their institutions on their CV's in the future to give them a leg up above all the other induviduals who will come out with the same results

kb, you're right which is why I pay for places at feeder schools that have some of the best Oxbridge/Redbrick entrance volumes in the UK! I didn't mean their current institutions, as they are partly a means to an end, not too bothered about the names of their current schools!

Ohhh, I see...