[Closed] So, after 6 months..

good luck love, keep smiling.. 8)

Great news Clare!!!! 😀

Hope all goes well...do expect some down days...that's normal...but the good thing is if you are actually aware of the "down" days, as opposed to them all merging into one.

You know where I am if you need me... 8)

Best of luck, Mrs F!

May everything work out for you as you wish it to.

all the best!

Good luck

Good luck. I see my shrink just before Xmas and hopefully he will consider letting me come off mine which I have been on since Easter and as a result I am now very fat and ride up hill even slower than before.

I have been through this before a couple of years ago. Then, I didn't then have any problems with bad withdrawal effects but like you did it nice and slowly over about 6 weeks.

Thanks all. I was quite amused to read that low mood and irritability were two of the withdrawal effects - not very helpful! So far though, am feeling great 🙂

Good luck x

cbt cock and ball torture?

i can see how that might relieve some tension in you but surely not fair on the bloke?!

He knows it's for his own good in the long run Kimbers.

I was just gonna say kimbers, this is Gingerflash we are talking about here... so he'd probably like it... but it looks like MrsF got there first!

Good luck Clare

Good luck.

I hope gf's getting some support too. Not easy.

Good luck Mrs F. 6 months, that must have been just after the stw rivi ride. I blame Lowey!

Best wishes Mrs. Flash.
I really hope you get where you wanna be.
May I offer one tip? Avoid binge-boozing. It doesnae help.

Oh, as was suggested to me, try to get some time in the wider outdoors on a regular basis over the winter.

Good advice MikeT-23, I learned a long time ago that binge drinking really is not worth it, I get such a down the next day or two. Now I just keep up a nice regular intake of G&T to maintain the right levels 😉

good luck Clare, and all the best.

Hey mrsflash, didn't realise you were on the happy pills. Personally, I'm quite anti-medication, however... each to their own situation and I'm glad they've had a positive effect, given you breathing space and allowed to you pick yourself up.

I found CBT to be [b]awesome[/b] and has really made a massive difference to my overall moods and quality of life. I sincerely hope it works for you too. Being active, and having real loving support will also ensure you beat the blues!

All the best!

Good for you, mrsflash. 😀

Mrs North has been off her pills for nigh on 11 months, but really did benefit from her period on them. The withdrawal sympstoms can vary, so be aware that feeling down is more likely to be withdrawal than a relapse (Which is what seems to give happy pills the reputation for being "addictive").

Sadly, it looks like doom is the way I'm going 🙁 , though I'm desperately trying to avoid going to see the GP and heading straight to a CBT counsellor. Well, I will when I can pluck up the courage....

All the best Mrs F.

Best wishes Mrs. Flash.
😛

😀

Good on yer gal! I think there's many a time a doc would have put me on tablets but you can actually cope without them, you really can!

Hey Mrsflash (Clare)

Excellent to hear you're coming off of the 'ol happy tablets.

It's an excellent feeling when you know you don't need them anymore! All the best!!

jt 😉

🙂

that is all

Enjoy - once you get to the end you will feel a real sense of achievement and something to be rather pleased about. Don't expect everything to be perfect but do expect to adapt so you can work around issues. I'm sure you will manage brilliantly, just need to keep the positive attitude up and you can do it.

Everything will go well, and after a wee while you'll be able to look back at the next few weeks and see them as a real achievement.

Bon Courage MrsF

SB 🙂

Cap doffed - hope it goes well for you.
Regards
Mr & Mrs MM

you'll be reet!

Good luck and keep up!

Best of luck Clare... got everything crossed that it works out for you.

Good luck person I don't know - Been there myself, mind out for the fridge it was my best friend for a while afterwards!

Good Luck Mrs Flash!

I had a 'Bi-Polar Incident' a couple of years ago but resisted going on medication as I thought it was a one off triggered by the lifestyle choices I had been making for the previous 15 years. I think I was right as had nothing since.

Learnt so much about myself through it and have had to alter my life drastically to make sure it doesn't happen again. The only tip I could give is to have something to look forward to every week. Mine is riding every weekend...

Great news 🙂

Good luck Mrs F.

Good luck MrsF 🙂

I think it's beyond time i went to see my own doc actually. The point has been reached where i'm idly thinking about suicide on a daily basis.
Not a particularly helpful outlook when you are supposed to be looking fo employment..

been there, done that and its well pants

you don't need good luck, you need cheese, but good luck anyway

Clare - good news. 🙂

I very reluctantly started taking ADs a few years ago when there was all sorts of horribleness going on - the doc really did have to convince me they would help - and they did. Took the edge off and gave me the strength to deal with the stuff I could deal with and ride out the bits I couldn't.

I found a really good CBT book too - I have recommended it to various friends who have also said they found it useful, so if you you don't mind me making a recommendation you could take a look at Overcoming Depression by Paul Gilbert. There's a fair bit of (to me) 'hippy crap' in there but much more usefulness.

And Muddydwarf - please go see/talk to someone about what's going on. Please. (And I sincerely hope you feel better soon.)

Great news Clare.
Come riding with us soon. We'll get Martyn S to organise something.

muddydwarf - please go and see the doc ( as tn says above). You cannot suffer like this.

I was on AD's earlier in the year, i came off them because of the side-effects and i was relatively ok over the summer. I was made redundant in July and since then it's been creeping back up on me. I live alone now and have a mortgage looming over me with no work on the horizon.
Must admit i'm starting to find it hard to get out of bed in a morning.

Muddydwarf, you sound lonely and at the end of your wits. It shouldn't carry on like this.
You need to look after yourself. start by taking things step by step adn have small goals.
you're just going through a bad patch, just need to work out steps to start going up and up. in the long run you'll be stronger.
If you have such dark thoughts and feel powerless, seek help.
Seeking help is a very positive and very strong thing to do, it means that you're giving yourself the means to be better adn to sort out your 'problems'.
this post sounds a bit random, but I can't read what you've said and do nothing. you sound like you're trying to reach out for help adn I feel quite powerless.
chin up and help yourself. start looking for little positive things and don't dwell on teh negatives things. these don't do anything for you.
remember it's just a bad patch adn you'll come out of it better and stronger.

Good luck MrsF and everyone else.

There's been some of that around here too, and I have found some of these posts helpful. Being unemployed for just over a year and trying to help someone else to cope with depression for the last couple of months whilst teetering on the brink myself has not made for a happy year.

It's hard to try to get someone else to get out of the house for some fresh air and a change of scene when all you want to do is close the curtains and open a beer (assuming you have found a reason to get out of bed in the first place.

Here's to a better year next year all round!

Hmm, not just me then?

This last yr has been a strange one. My fiancee walked out this time last year, my good friend was diagnosed with breast cancer in the summer and i was made redundant in July.
In the great scheme of things being depressed isn't exactly on a par with a cancer diagnosis and i feel guilty for wallowing in it whilst she is facing up to her illness with such courage and directness.
I'm seeing a new lady and i feel guilty that i can't quite give her the emotion she requires because i'm all wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself.
I went through my phone contacts and realised i had absolutely no-one i could really talk to - well, i do but they all have their own shite to deal with and don't need mine on top.
Trying to find work when the skills you had from 23yrs in the same job are now completely irrelevant is somewhat daunting, and my desired 'career' in cycle instructing doesn't look like i'll be able to make a living from it.

What a load of bollox eh?

Hey muddydwarf - not just you by a long chalk (although I know it can seem like it).

In my (very limited) experience, people suffering from depression feel bad that they are not well when other people have to cope with worse stuff - but they aren't well. Just because people can't see your symptoms doesn't make it any less real.

Getting out of my depth here as my experience is limited, as I said, but it IS real.

The person I'm looking out for went to the doctor for her regular appointment and also mentioned my situation: too much booze + too many cigars + physical symptoms = worry about something worse = feeling even worse. VERY vicious circle, but I felt better when the doc said it sounds like a classic case of depression (strange but true).

Trying to be strong for someone else helps in an odd way (but makes the 'downs' even worse for me).

Open up to others (I'm a fine one to talk, admittedly: although this post is cathartic for me) - it helps, and good friends may be there already and find it helps them too...

OK, I'm wibbling now and should hand over to people with more experience!

I wonder if my homebrew is ready and whether my local has any more cigars? The Leffe is nearly gone...

i had absolutely no-one i could really talk to - well, i do but they all have their own shite to deal with and don't need mine on top.

You know what, you might be surprised. Helping people out, even if it's just providing a sympathetic ear, gives most folk a nice warm glow. You're doing them a favour 🙂 They are your friends, and that's what friends are for in times of need. I hope you can find something to help you feel better. I know it's tough, but there are always things to remind you why life is worth living. Sometimes they just aren't easy to see.

And well done to MrsF!

Thanks everyone, once againg you are all lovely 🙂

Muddydwarf, please go and seek help. It's not a competition about who has things worse, it doesn't matter what the cause is, if you are not coping you need to work something out.

You've had a hell of a lot to deal with over the last year, of course it's affected you.

And acutally, when I finally realised that I needed to sort it out, there was not acutally anything going wrong in my life - happy marriage, good job, friends etc etc. On the surface, I had no problems at all. But I just wasn't functioning at all.

Please make an appointment with your doctor tomorrow. It doesn't have to be pills, all though they do provide a great starting point for you to sort other things out. They also referred me to the mental health team for a review and that's how I got the CBT course.

Please let us know how you get on.

Hmm, not just me then?

blah blah blah.

What a load of bollox eh?

Damn right. First step for you has been to recognise that. Second step is to do something about it!

The bit I've perhaps petulantly quoted "blah blah blah" is, I think, very typical of people (like you and me) who suffer from low self esteem. The negative thoughts such as "why would my friends want to hear about my problems" and "my illness is insignificant compared with theirs" and "I can't get the job I want" and "I'm not good enough for my girlfriend" etc etc etc are dragging you down, and it is your attitude that is causing it. That means YOU can change it by thinking about the positive side of things instead of the negative. 🙂

e.g.
Problem: "why would my friends want to hear about my problems"
A Solution: Because if they are your friends, or family, then it is because they care. Don't assume that they are so wrapped up in their own problems that they have zero time for a chat. For example, your friend with breast cancer - do you have time for her? Of course you do! So why wouldn't your friends have time for you? And for them, talking about someone else' problems would perhaps take their mind off what they are going through, so in a way you're helping each other. Put it this way - what harm will it do to give them a call?

P: "my illness is insignificant compared with theirs"
A: Theirs is life-threatening. So is yours. How the illnesses differ is a moot point. Part of mental illness is the perception we have as sufferers of what other people think. Mental illness is stigmatised whereas cancer (for example) isn't. There's no depression screening program or such like. But that doesn't mean that its not significant! A lot of people don't realise how significant it is - tell people you've been thinking of suicide and you'll see how quickly people take your "insignificant" illness seriously (but don't use it as an emotional blackmail tool!)

P: "I can't get the job I want"
A: Well, see your unemployment as the key to opening a new door in your life. You have skills, whether you currently recognise them or not, which will be applicable to whatever you want to put your mind to. If you are struggling, then consider further education or retraining. Can't afford it? Then sell your house - who needs the weight of debt that that entails! As for turning something down you'd love to do because its not going to earn you megabucks, then you need to look at what your priorities are - do you want to be happy going to work everyday, pouring your soul into the best job you ever had OR do you want to slave away doing something a bit shit to pay the mortgage (do you need it, see above) and forever live out your life regretting not taking this golden opportunity?

P: "I'm not good enough for my girlfriend"
A: A common thought and reaction, to hide yourself away and deal with it on your own terms. Firstly, you don't have to get her involved. If you want to deal with it yourself, then why not? And she should be able to respect that. But that only works if you ARE doing something about it instead of wallowing in self pity and misery because you're [i]not doing anything about it[/i]! Or you can talk to her, explain how you feel, be open to any suggestions. In my experience, its difficult to relate how you feel and it can be difficult for them to understand what you are going through. And just because you are with her now, does not necessarily mean she is the right person for you...

All a bit rambling, and I hope I don't come across as arrogant or anything! I eventually sought help for my depression and I have been in the same shoes as you, for sure. The above 'advice' I could not have dreamed of giving to anyone a few years ago. Email is in my profile if you want to drop me an email - would be glad to help!

Oh, and the offer of help/advice goes out to anyone on here who wants it 🙂

Good luck Mrs F and all who are finding things tough.

There are a number of options out there for dealing with things like this and not all will work for everyone, it depends on the sort of person you are.

My wife has recently trained as a psycho-dynamic counsellor and has been working at a GP practice where they are recommending counselling as an alternative to medication for those diagnosed with depression. the take up for counselling has been high and the results have been good too.

Kit talks the sense.

Mangoridebike, it's great that your wife is doing that. My view about medication is that it should be seen as a stepping stone to get you out of the deep pit and in a state that's receptive to other help.

Thanks for the insight everyone.

One of the things that is getting to me is the isolation. I've been living alone since my former fiancee left, when i was working it wasn't a problem as i was still mixing/interacting with people on a daily basis. Now i can go days without really having spent time with a real person (as opposed to a phone call etc).
I think counselling would be of more use than the drugs, they didn't work much for me last time.
The sense of isolation and worthlessness is what's getting me down - plus reading idiots like captain F pontificating about dole dossers.
TBH i feel like wandering down to wherever he lives and putting several arrows in his arse!

I can see how soul destroying it must be, but don't confuse loneliness with worthlessness. And ignore people spouting about dole scroungers, there are a lot of people on the dole just now through no fault of their own. You've paid your taxes for years to cover this eventuality, and you will find another job in the end.

Mrs F - I agree that medication can play a very important role in recovery. as with all the options sometimes they work on their own sometimes they work as part of a suite of treatments.

The line my wife got from tutors was that medication can deal with the symptoms of the issue and that counselling can help to sort out the root cause of the problem. They are hardly unbiased though.

Muddydwarf - counselling offers the opportunity to talk issues through and you can discuss issues when you're ready to. The counsellor will aim to ask you questions that challenge you to address issues that you've maybe been avoiding and will allow you to understand the things that are affecting you. It can be very hard though, my wife went through 2.5 yrs of it as part of her course and found parts of it really hard to get through as the counsellor challenged her to address stuff about herself that were really entrenched. ONce dealt with though it lead to far greater self awareness and a more balanced approach to life.

muddydwarf - assuming you ride, are there any other people in your area that you can meet up with for some riding company during the week? How often is your girlfriend willing to come round - would she take a day or two off to help you through a week and give you a wee lift?

Part of combating depression, as a few of us are subtly hinting at 😉 is to challenge negative thoughts which end in a downward spiral. You have to look rationally and logically at situations and once you can step back and look at things like that you realise things aren't as bad as you have made yourself believe.

I gave an example above about your job. Instead of seeing it as a bad situation where you are [b]forced[/b] to stay inside and you are [b]worthless[/b] ad nauseum, you are actually now in a position where you are [b]liberated[/b] from your old job and have the time to persue anything you [b]truly want to[/b].

Its all about positive thinking, although of course, this approach isn't for everyone and drugs may help you out instead or before you are ready for this stage.

TBH i feel like wandering down to wherever he lives and putting several arrows in his arse!

Do it Do it Do it, can I come. I'll steal his beers, while you fire arrows at him. 😈

Just finished 6 months of CBT for heavy OCD problems. I've just upped my meds to soften the blow of not seeing anyone regularly, as i have previously stopped taking them and relapsed before. Keep doing the stuff you learned at CBT if possible and get a friend/family member to act as your mentor if that helps.
If you need them, don't be shy of keeping on the pills. If it was a physical problem you'd take them without question. It's taken me 7 years to get my head around that one, that it's the same for a mental issue as for a physical one. If your meds allow you to keep active and busy, then that's got to be better than sitting inside struggling without them.

It may be different depending on paricular illness, but that's my experience anyway. Good luck

Mrs Flash - well done and good luck for the future!

Muddydwarf - I experienced a very similar situation to you many years ago after being made redundant, fiancee leaving, father having stroke, money problems, negative equity, lots (and I mean lots) of rejections from job applications / interviews across the country etc. Didn't do the GP thing or take happy pills but started doing some volunteering with a well-known international development charity in their regional office. I did things I never believed I was capable of, got meetings with senior politicians, and had my biggest ever career achievement (and possibly also my second biggest achievement) during my time volunteering. The new skills, experience and confidence of that experience opened up a number of new opportunities and led me away from wanting to work in the private sector. I ended up being a director of one of the UK's leading environmental organisations - something I would never have considered or had the opportunity to do were it not for the volunteering. So it might be worth a trip to your local Volunteer Bureau - see http://www.volunteering.org.uk/ or http://www.do-it.org.uk/ for opportunities. If nothing else it will give you something to do each day and will give you the chance to chat to other people during the day. Email me if you want any more information or help. Good luck!