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Whoever loads the drums of paper into the office loo roll dispensers has decided to thread them up the opposite way round. After at least 11 years they have spun clockwise. Today they are anti clockwise.
It is chaos!
The air is filled with the noisy and desperate rumbling and clattering of the occupants with their arms jammed into the drums trying to find the “tail”.
Imagine Rod Hull fighting a hard plastic Emu whilst his pants are round his ankles.
Imagine Rod Hull fighting a hard plastic Emu whilst his pants are round his ankles.
I've heard about films like that, you animal
Imagine Rod Hull fighting a hard plastic Emu whilst his pants are round his ankles.
*puts down sandwich mid bite*
I didn't move my motorbike when the HIAB came to pick up a container from the yard.
I wasn't actually told it was coming, and my bike wasn't in the way.
Imagine Rod Hull fighting a hard plastic Emu whilst his pants are round his ankles.
That's it, switch off the servers, the forum is done for today.
Before everything went digital at work it used to wind me up when I'd print something only to find the paper trays were empty. As such, my small act of rebellion was to carefully slide the paper out of the packaging and then pop the empty "ghost ream" back in the cupboard for the next person. I never really knew if it annoyed anyone or not until one day I'd filled 4 A4 trays in 3 big Xerox printers, so 12 empty reams were waiting in the cupboard, then towards the end of the day when the printers were running low I heard a guy crumple up about 5 or 6 empties before he shouted "FOR F__KS SAKE!" and kicked a printer. It took a while but other people slowly started to realise what going on and the paper trays always appeared to be mostly topped up. A passage aggressive sign on the printers would have probably served the same purpose, but I think my method was a bit more creative.
Someone at my previous place did that. Tony Pope would spell check to Tiny Pipe.
Imagine Rod Hull fighting a hard plastic Emu whilst his pants are round his ankles.
I'm never going to look at an office loo roll dispenser the same way ever again.
carefully slide the paper out of the packaging and then pop the empty "ghost ream" back in the cupboard for the next person.
Surely this only annoys the person who actually fills the paper trays though?
Also, who apart form the first person to hit print and realize the trays are empty, is going to fill them up? Are there people out there who print a few pages, take the corresponding number of sheets out of a fresh reem of paper and put them in the drawer? Am I actually the bad guy in the office?
carefully slide the paper out of the packaging and then pop the empty "ghost ream" back in the cupboard for the next person.
Surely this only annoys the person who actually fills the paper trays though?
Also, who apart form the first person to hit print and realize the trays are empty, is going to fill them up? Are there people out there who print a few pages, take the corresponding number of sheets out of a fresh reem of paper and put them in the drawer? Am I actually the bad guy in the office?
It wasn't a specific person's job to fill them, and the people who would happily abandon their print jobs until someone else dealt with the paper would get a ghost ream eventually if no one else needed anything printing before they had to get their drawings or reports signed off. If I had to fill them I'd also clear the print queue so half finished jobs wouldn't auto resume.
In old autodesk product pre ribbon user interface. You could open all the toolbars and arrange them all around the edge of the workspace. If you did thhat with All of them you could reduce the workspace to something the size of a postage stamp.
Then if you saved that to a custom user interface and set that to the default in the startup promt.
Now... If you could do that and you knew someone else didn't know how... You could jump on in their lunch and set it so everytime they reopened AutoCAD they had to shut hundreds of toolbars by hitting the little X's. Every morning having arrived at exactly 1minute past night 9 there would come the standard "aw for **** sake why does my computer keep doing this".
To date one of my proudest achievement. Not bad for a 16yearold apprentice who had been sent out for god knows how many attempts to get big weights etc.
@joshvegas: brilliant! I just love the pettiness. Haha
Used to work with a grumpy older guy (who I have now become). A couple of the youngster (who I once was) would phone him up in the manner of a Monty Python Gumby and try and place orders for sea food and shell fish with him. We were in an Engineering Sales Office.
"'ello, I'd like to order some crab."
"we don't sell crab"
"how about lobster?"
and so on. Every other day for months.
Swapping keyboard letters, they pop off really easily.
Masking tape on the little red light thingummy under a mouse.
Swapping mouse connectors with the neighbouring docking station.
It was pre internet aswell. Like ot existed but you had to use the 'office internet computer' and before google too so the chances of finding an anwer were minimal.
Other highlights... Removing mouse balls.
Sellotape placed over optical mouse lenses after the adhesive has been slightly used. Then take a scalpol (drawing office) and cutting it right into the recess so its
A. Very difficult ata glance to see the issue and
B. A right **** to take off
Swapping keys on a keyboard is good... Changing the keyboard country is better.
Changing the mouse setting to left handed. Calibrating the mouse so the the cursor goes flying off in the wrong direction.
Dicking with the monitors.
1. Flip the computer display. Its surprising difficult to undo that.
2. Flipping the actual monitor on the stand so they think its upside down. So they think its the display settings until the go to switch it off.
All great if you have a technophobe.
Supergluing all the pencils together in the desktidy.
Shutting the phone that won't be put on silent im the drawer and locking it. Putting the key out on the ledge next to the angry seagull witha stick.
Take a screenshot of the desktop. Delete all the icons. Set the screenshot (with icons) as the default wallpaper.
We had a hundred of these in the 1990s. Fax bombs: fax someone you don't like, as the paper comes out the bottom grab it and sellotape it back to the top forming a loop so it feeds back in again.
I worked in an engineering office once that had a phone system with automatic redail if the extension you rang was engaged.
One of the engineers worked out that if you took all the phones off the hook then dialed every extension from all the phones....
Excused himself from a department meeting to set it set it up and when everyone returned and found their phone off the hook caused absolute carnage for about 5 minutes. Glorious.
Supergluing all the pencils together in the desktidy.
A classic from the graphic arts studio, back in the days of using Cow Gum to stick things down - very carefully slice down the seam of the label on the tin, and stick it back on on upside down, then take the lid off, very quickly turn the tin upside down and place the lid on the bottom, which is now at the top.
Then wait. 😏🤣
Pretty sure Jasper Carrot did a joke about toilet paper dispensers back in the 80s. The struggle continues!
Every time I get to use a coworkers computer, I set it to autocorrect "Simon" to "simian".
We did much worse things than that to fellow students' essays at uni if they left a computer unattended. A well-placed "bollocks" mid essay could really add to their argument.
We did also turn every computer and montor in the Halls computer room upside down one night... but that meant the room was closed for a few days because of "the damage" (or was it punishment?)
Used to work with a grumpy older guy (who I have now become). A couple of the youngster (who I once was) would phone him up in the manner of a Monty Python Gumby and try and place orders for sea food and shell fish with him. We were in an Engineering Sales Office.
In a student house we would kind of do the opposite. Whenever people called the house phone one of my housemates would always answer in a curt middle eastern voice "Star Pizza and Kebab - what do you want please?"
Whenever people called the house phone one of my housemates would always answer in a curt middle eastern voice "Star Pizza and Kebab - what do you want please?"
Straight outta Simpsons, and we did it too...
Dad's last role in the police was an admin job. Long summer hols and I'd sit in the office all day, joining up all his paperclips.
He'd come back from court, find what I'd done, and swap his for his colleagues. Once I managed to join 3 people's paperclips together as well.
Oh, and "honk if you think I'm horny" posters on the sales manager's car bumper when he was being a twonk.
Most of these are classic office pranks, not acts of rebellion. I suppose I can claim the voicemail telling my boss to stick his job up his arris, but I was very drunk so not sure it counts.
Other highlights... Removing mouse balls.We had the great mouseball theft of 1994 at uni. Some enterprising folks managed to get *every* mouseball in *every* computer lab and open office in the entire main campus. Apparently there were well over 1500 of them. It's a big campus, must have taken hours.
They then tipped them down the massive staircase in the main atrium at 9 am on monday morning about 3 weeks later.
Utter chaos, twice. Most computers unusable for a week or so while someone ordered new mouses. Some poor bugger had to clear up the many many mouseballs.
All the coverplates were then melted into place to prevent further removals.
No one was ever caught.
I rarely pay for carrier bags at the self service checkouts, or if I need two I'll only pay for one.
All the coverplates were then melted into place to prevent further removals.
Then you're replacing them all again when they're all gummed up and you cant get at the rollers to clean them.
There was a young lady in our project team one time who was always on the phone to friends and relatives, but would leave her phone on the desk when she went for a wee. It rang one time too many when she wasn't there, so she came back to find it drowned in a large glass of water. That cured the problem.
Most of these are classic office pranks, not acts of rebellion.
At my school, there was a tradition of a huge whole school assembly at the end of the academic year to celebrate the leavers who're going on to run the world - It was that sort of school. It comes to our turn, my friend Mark reaches down to his bag, and pulls out a huge black dildo, he looks at me, turns it on, and sets it on the floor, stands, nods at us all, and walks out of the school.
The best bit of this, wasn't the fact that he's seated at the very front as part of the school's celebration - Mark is still one of the cleverest people I know- he's now a lawyer working in international financial crime, so has to walk past the entire school. It's the fact that the dildo is making it's way to the stage across a parquet floor in a massive -echoing, ancient hall, and when it gets to the foot of the stage, it rests there, gently, urgently ramming against the stage, buzzing away until one of the teachers has to scramble down from his seat and fumble with it to turn it off...
I rarely pay for carrier bags at the self service checkouts, or if I need two I'll only pay for one.
Surely that's just shoplifting?
I rarely pay for carrier bags at the self service checkouts, or if I need two I'll only pay for one.
Surely that's just shoplifting?
At my school, there was a tradition of a huge whole school assembly at the end of the academic year to celebrate the leavers who're going on to run the world
My school had similar, and of course, it was an ongoing battle between staff and the final year students to see what sabotage could be done. Things I remember included:
Fluorescein dye in the water tank, which fed the toilets - Water was bright yellow for days!
Cassette tape wound around the chairs of the hall overnight - took the staff hours to unthread it all so the parents could enter!
Washing up liquid into the toilet cisterns - foam everywhere.
Forgot to mention, the assembly was for parents and 'friends' of the school.
Swapping keys on a keyboard is good... Changing the keyboard country is better.
Yeah. Most people who use computers regularly almost never look at the keys and probably wouldn't even notice if you swapped the physical keys. Changing the keyboard layout is much harder to deal with.
I don’t put the next customer spacer on the checkout belt when doing my supermarket shopping. Some people get quite huffy about that.
Swapping keys on a keyboard is good... Changing the keyboard country is better.
Yeah. Most people who use computers regularly almost never look at the keys and probably wouldn't even notice if you swapped the physical keys. Changing the keyboard layout is much harder to deal with.
Or change auto-correct library - always correct "the" to "the ****ing".
Many years ago I changed the language on a mate's Nokia brick phone to Turkish.
That was a bugger to switch back.
I don’t put the next customer spacer on the checkout belt when doing my supermarket shopping. Some people get quite huffy about that.
Ooooh, now thats just low....