Wow! There's some absolute ignorant stuck up bell ends on this thread ain't there!
Society says you MUST have your own place aye?
Well I moved out when I was 20, with the ex over over 10 year, two kids, we split up two year ago, csa taking nearly half my wage which isn't much above minimum wage, work over 40 hours a week, certainly cant afford living at the moment and I reckon there'll be thousands more in my situation, had to move back in with mummy two year ago, and im 35 today, see my kids nearly everyday, I hope the snobby micky takers don't find themselves in my situation.
OP
Build an [s]Granny[/s] Offspring Flat in your parents garden,sorted 🙂
If you get on well with your parents I don't see why you should rush to move out.
Continue paying £50 a week IF you are on a low wage or are desperately saving for somewhere to live.
Pay ALOT MORE TO THEM if you ride a fancy bike and drive a powerful hatchback.
[b]They shouldn't be subsidising your lifestyle.[/b]
I know someone who was in this situation and milked it. They'll be paying for your council tax (yes they will) as well as your other associated costs that are more than you put in. Feel embarrased?
If my roof over my head, food and bills all came to £200 a month I'd know there was someone paying out of their pocket. You are riding their goodwill.
Pay them £100 a week. They may protest but be a man and insist. Don't be a parasitical child.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasite_single
Shag' just noticed your post above. If you are in straightened circumstances its different to what I posted here. You aren't taking advantage of your mum. Theres a distinction.
I know a few people in shaggmeisters situation, plus others living at home to save a deposit. A friend even managed to save enough to buy a house outright upon moving out, no mortgage at all.
Sticking together as a family makes a lot of sense to me.
Having said all that, my parents make me nuts, and seem to be turning into typical Daily Mail reading UKIP voting idiots.
Very good point shaggmeister,
They shouldn't be subsidising your lifestyle.
Doesn't sound that different to the huge number of people i know in their 30's who've had frankly HUGE sums of money from their folks to pay for weddings and house deposits.
HUGE sums of money from their folks to pay for weddings
The bigger the sum, the earlier the divorce!
Very good point shaggmeister,
Is it? His circumstances are clearly massively different to the OP.
I'd just like to point out that I help mummy out as much as I can, I only pay her £60 a week although she refuses but I feel better knowing I'm giving something even if it's all I can afford, and also the main thing is that she's more than happy I'm there, we actually talk now and says I'm good company! Ha, before I moved out for the first time we didn't see eye to eye... Anyway, it's the main thing on my mind al the time, thinking I need my own place, but if I did I wouldn't be able to afford to see my kids as much as I do. It's shit out there at the moment. 😥
His circumstances are clearly massively different to the OP.
Yes, but he was making a more general point, criticizing how
"Society says you MUST have your own place".
Very good point shaggmeister,
Not really, he's citing completely different circumstances, he's already gone out into the big bad world and faced all the perils. he'll probably not stay longer with his parents than he absolutely has to. The OP is still cowering behind his mothers pinny..
EDIT: already beaten too it.
Your situation is vastly different to that of the op shagg....I don't think anyone would think of you as a sponging manchild.
i moved home after uni (was supposed to be short term) but ended up being there until i was 28. If i hadn't have done this there is no way i would have been able to buy a house.
Rent prices in the SE are high - maybe more than mortgage payments. Most of my friends can't comprehend A; how i saved for a house B; how i lived my rents for 5 years 😉
funnily enough some good friends of mine have just moved home as they have a newborn and have realised that it will be impossible to save a deposit whilst paying the rents down here.
don't listen to people who are a lot older - it was completely different bitd. my parents doubled their money on their first flat in under a year; Never going to happen today.
"Society says you MUST have your own place"
I don't think it does. There is an expectation that by the age of 30 you have made some effort to move on from being tied to your mums apron strings. In Shaggmeisters case he has done than. In the OP's case he has not.
In the OP's case he has not.
Speaking of whom, where is he anyway?
My view summarized - if you are living at home to save to move out of home, then it's fine. If you are living at home as a spounge, then that's not fine.
They'll be paying for your council tax (yes they will)
no they wont there are three adults there so when he moves out the bill wont change.
If my roof over my head, food and bills all came to £200 a month I'd know there was someone paying out of their pocket. You are riding their goodwill.
Depends though if you moved in with me all the extra bills are basically your food and a bit more on utilities. I bet that is close to price neutral for the parents tbh*
Pay them £100 a week. They may protest but be a man and insist. Don't be a parasitical child.
I hope you are jssut trolling
OP it really just depends it is not something I would want to do [ unless you are saving] but nor do I feel the need to suggest you are a parasite
*from your link [ ignoring the fact we dont live in Japan obviously]
The additional expenses for the parents due to the additional household member are usually small, as the fixed costs such as rent must be paid regardless, and the additional cost for food and other consumables is sometimes negligible.
Junkyard from experience of such a situation no it isn't. Older parents don't tend to eat as much/are careful with heating etc. To say 'neutral' is ridiculous if you add a third more to the mix.
I'm 22 and I moved out 6 months ago when I really didn't need to but I think it was great step forward in my life. No one really knows what will happen to the property market so you should probably stop guessing about it. Standing completely on my own two feet is something that I see as major step forward in my life.
I can't afford to buy a house so I rent but there are other options as well if you have any nice co-operative housing nearby that could be an option.
Well I moved back after redundancy, and then stayed through terminal illness, would do the same again. It has set me back in terms of 'life progress' blurgh - but have a new job now and putting together plans for a controlled exit and possibly even house purchase in circa 12 months time. Its not the end of the world.
OP, I'm looking at buyin with a mate, neither of us can tollerate the idea of renting (at all for him, he's worked, and been to uni, and worked, and been to uni again to become a teacher while living with parents, and is a textbook example of how it can be done, with dignity), me because I have before and I'm 32 now, and want something for my money. One of my reasons for buying, I want my own pump track in the garden, all this growing up nonsense is balls! 😛
To say 'neutral' is ridiculous if you add a third more to the mix.
Its not and even your link said it.
There are limited additional costs as most of the costs - mortgage, council tax, having a washing machine, utilities, council tax etc are fixed [exist whether he lives there or not]and only really food and a little extra power for say a shower or tv in his room are incurred for which they receive £50 per week. Hence it will be cost neutral or thereabouts.
I know it will be hard for you to understand despite it being in your link.
Parasitic child was way OTT
Junky you forgot the following link:> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasite_single <
I love my kids to bits - one getting close to Uni now - but I'd want them to be out there exploring life and living on their own/with other people by 25. Otherwise I think they'd be stuck, missing out, pissing away their youth.
Yes in Italy things are a bit different (Google Mammismo). But even there parents are having to buy their sprogs flats to get rid of them.
Move out, Rent, live.
the one I quoted from in my first reply and referred to in my second post?
Why not read what it says on costs - I know I quoted it up there for you but you seem to have missed it - and feedback to the class.
Stay where you are and what's more, stop paying rent. You didn't ask to be born and your parents need to accept their responsibilities.
I was watching a programme on extensions last night and I thought it was great that one couple were having an extension built to house them so they can be next to their family (and the fact that they couldn't afford a house).
Brilliant- look after children/care, family etc but still have your own space too.
Haha, the poor OP, he probably only wanted a bit of friendly advice. He got advice though, some of it is just missing the 'friendly' bit.
Saying that, my advice does mimic a lot of the above. Depending on where you are in the country (I cant be bothered to look), a houseshare wont cost you more than £300-£400 max, bills included, and you'll probably have an absolute blast, and can continue to decide on buying a place at the same time. Plus a lot of the time, there is no real commitment, so if you don't like it, you can try another place.
Go for it, YOLO, Carpe Diem, and all that jazz. Good luck with whatever you do 🙂
One thing I will say OP- what if you meet a lady/want to bring her back etc?
Especially if shes vocal/likes to voice her approval at whatever you are doing?
I wouldn't want my Mother laying there in bed and saying [i][b]'he really is abit of a marathon runner/epic isn't he Cyril? He certainly doesn't get that side from you.[/b][/i]
There are limited additional costs as most of the costs - mortgage, council tax, having a washing machine, utilities, council tax etc are fixed [exist whether he lives there or not]and only really food and a little extra power for say a shower or tv in his room are incurred for which they receive £50 per week. Hence it will be cost neutral or thereabouts.
On the face of it this may be true but things are rarely that simple. What if the parents want to downsize but can't because they still need the bedrooms, what if they want to sell the house and release some equity to help their other children who may have flown and now need help? What if they want to buy a camper van and take off whilst renting their house out to cover their living costs and retire?
My daughters are less than a week old and I am already planning on how I can kick them out!
My daughters are less than a week old and I am already planning on how I can kick them out!
You'll change 😉
Mines only 3 and he can stay forever.
Saying that in a few years time I'll change my mind!
Houseshare. There's loads of places, inexpensive, a great way to meet people..maybe even a girlfriend!!! 😯
Jeez...
what if you meet a lady/want to bring her back etc?
I imagine the minge is queuing round the corner for a 30 year old bloke who lives with his parents!
On the face of it this may be true but things are rarely that simple. What if the parents want to downsize but can't because they still need the bedrooms, what if they want to sell the house and release some equity to help their other children who may have flown and now need help? What if they want to buy a camper van and take off whilst renting their house out to cover their living costs and retire?
Lots of what ifs that dont change the maths for all we know they are still working.
Its seems a bit of a leap to assume they would be living the dream but for the OP's presence
Mines only 3 and he can stay forever.
What you want a parasitic child whose energetic love making you can listen to 😯
your posts are like a stream of consciousness without the consciousness bit.
Mines only 3 and he can stay forever.
What you want a parasitic child whose energetic love making you can listen to
From what I can gather of Hora, he'll be out on the pull with his lad in a few years time, double-teaming mothers and daughters....
Nope - he'll be trying.
I imagine the minge is queuing round the corner for a 30 year old bloke who lives with his parents!
I just laughed out loud then.
your posts are like a stream of consciousness without the consciousness bit
and they always make it to the top [s]10[/s] [s]5[/s] 3 of the STW creepiest/disturbing posts list.
maybe even a girlfriend!!!
Or boyfriend. Let's not be presumptuous. 😉
[quote=cbmotorsport ]Houseshare. There's loads of places, inexpensive, a great way to meet people..maybe even a girlfriend!!!
+1
These posts concentrating on the financial pros and cons are missing the point.
top 3
Hmmm must try harder
I lived in house shares for about 5 years after I left uni, and it was a right laugh. And I met the woman who is now Mrs Ransos...
Lots of what ifs that dont change the maths for all we know they are still working.
Its seems a bit of a leap to assume they would be living the dream but for the OP's presence
If he is 30 they are likely to be in their 50's. Is it such a leap to think that maybe they would be hoping to embark upon, or at least plan for the third phase of their lives?
I am sure his folks are very pleased to be able to help their son. I think it could all work out very nicely as long as the son is prepared to extend the same degree of care and subsidy to his parents as they age and is prepared to have them living under his roof when they become dependent and require caring for.
Otherwise it seems a little unfair.
Having read a lot of the posts, I'm starting to feel sorry for the OP.
On the other hand, all I can say is MTFU Princess. I left home at 18 (uni) where my parents did help a little. I haven't ever been home though (besides holidays) and couldn't.
It's worth being broke with your self-respect!
I rent a flat with my Mrs., I am broke and have no self respect, where does this leave me?
I must admit, I havent lived at home since I left for uni at 18.
I moved into a shared house with a few other freshers, and it didn't take me long to realise that it wasn't going to work. They were living like animals, the kitchen was a complete state, there was a traffic cone in the hallway, used sheaths in the bathroom, and the living room wall was stacked high with empty beer cans. Unfortunately I wasn't sure about how to go about asking them to live like normal people. I think living with my parents for eighteen years had rendered me socially inept. I resorted to writing notes and sticking them on the fridge door - this didn't work.
But thankfully my parents own a second home in Durham, so I moved there, where I stayed for the course of my degree and whilst I worked my first job.
I now live on my own in my house in Spennymoor. My situation sounds similar to yours except I am lonelier, it costs more and I have to do all of the house chores.
So don't go rushing into things OP, house shares are not for the faint hearted. And a house on your own isnt a great place to be. I'd see if you can crash on a friends sofa for a few days over a weekend to see what you make of living/sharing a space and interacting with other people.
ransos - MemberI lived in house shares for about 5 years after I left uni, and it was a right laugh. And I met the woman who is now Mrs Ransos...
...and that's where the fun ended. 😆
I'm lost for words, I really am. Someone else mentioned it earlier about almost looking for an excuse not to move out. Perhaps the most interesting thing about this is the fact that the OP has never mentioned his gender once however everyone has assumed he is male?
Is it such a leap to think that maybe they would be hoping to embark upon, or at least plan for the third phase of their lives?
Its a leap as to how big who knows- granted is not outlandishly implausible.
Perhaps they should do this and rent it to him 😉
the most interesting thing about this is the fact that the OP has never mentioned [b]his gender[/b] once however everyone has assumed he is male?
Given how male dominated this site is that will be correct for about 99.9% of posts I would imagine including yours
I was beginning to doubt this forum, and then a thread like this comes along 🙂
Regarding the OP: does he/she even know how to ride a bike?!
...and that's where the fun ended.
How very dare you!
i don't have the time to read all this now, but my two pence worth
Should I move out of the parents' house?
..at the age of 30
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES!!!
I'm not surprised some people support the OP. After all STW is home to the socially-awkward middle-aged 29'er evangalist.
I would move out if I were you and if you can afford it, living at home is crap when you're used to your independance. I had to move back in after uni as I couldn't afford my own place. Now at 24 I'm only just in a financial position where I could rent if I wanted to, however I'm staying at home and saving for a house deposit rather than "wasting" it on rent. Cant wait to move into my own place! Saying that, its not so bad living at home now as its just me and my dad, and hes always away for work or away at the weekends I have off work, so its almost like having the place to myself anyway.
Also house shares can be crap and I doubt I'd want to move into one just for the sake of it. Depends who you'd be living with though - mates would be fine but after living with randomers for 2 years at uni I doubt I'd want to do it again. Its disgusting how filthy some people are!
I've done it the other way. It's fairly normal in my wife's culture for the grandparents to support the mother when the kids are young, so granny or grandad have been with us in the flat for plenty of the last couple of years. Great in some respects, not so in others.
If I was the OP, I'd want to have plans to do something different after a decade at home as an adult. As plenty have said though, deposit in hand by now?
I'd also say that my family emigrated when I was 23 and I stayed here. Always regret not staying at home for a bit longer, since I'd moved out 3 years previously. Time spent with family is extremely valuable, assuming they're not a shower of bastards 😉
Made me think of this song:
That didn't help the OP, but meh.
How do you hide the cheeky handshandies from your mum OP?
'Oh deary, got a cold again'?
How do you hide the cheeky handshandies from your mum OP?'Oh deary, got a cold again'?
well hopefully hes got his own bed in his own room(with posters on the wall an' evryfink) 8)
As a regular jockey pretty much the only one's I know that have bought in the last 5 years have had financial support from family members. The way I see it going forwards if you haven't got that option you're going to have to rent off somebody who has.
If you can't give your kids a head start don't have 'em cos they'll only slave for the kids who's parents have. How many 30 year old directors are there out there who aren't in the family firm?