[Closed] Scared of flying

Valium and whisky.

Crashes in Europe are rare ,focus on the positive.

HTH 🙂

I have both. The whiskey is an expensive birthday gift and is in the hold.

BA do a course. My daughter has taken it. I wouldn't say she is cured but it has helped. She has also had some 1-1 counselling which also helped. Probably not on the recommended list but she takes advantage of the free beverage.

I would say respect to your for taking that many flights per month.

I hate the procedure at the airports. I love the experience of flying. Being an aviation nut has been in me since I can remember and my little brain is on overdrive when I'm flying. I don't see it as a means of transport really, hard to explain.

Maybe Fred could help?

If only you had his email address 😉

I used to fly to Europe every month and had far too many bumpy flights.
I hate flying now but the one thing thatt helps is knowing that nobody wants to arrive safely more than the highly trained professional pilot, who probably has a family or partner waiting for them.

Lay off the booze and try deep breathing and stretches during the flight. If its all short hops then the queuing and dealing with moronic passengers is probably more hazardous

Try the Paul McKenna Total Flying Confidence cd.
I've never used it myself but my mother has and she's gone from being a complete wreck when she's flying to being pretty happy and comfortable with it.

I'd recommend Xanax (or similar) over valium if it's for more regular flying. Valium has a super long half life, so if you're taking it more than once every couple of weeks you're never fully getting rid of it. Tolerance and dependency are an issue (as with any benzo).

Xanax is much shorter acting and has barely any hypnotic (sleepy) effect compared to valium, so you're arriving at your destination less like a zombie. You can get it on a private prescription in the UK (it's cheaper than a regular one too)

If you can avoid the drug route then do so, keep benzos for when you REALLY need them. But for some, in the short/immediate term that's just not an option, especially if you have no choice but to travel.

I've got 15 years of dealing with this I can regurgitate. Currently mobile I'll add some stuff later when back on a keyboard....

1. Tell the airline before you fly, so they can tell the cabin crew, who are generally pretty good at helping with this. They might move you to somewhere where you can see them (and vice versa).

2. Try the fear of flying courses - BA and EasyJet as mentioned both do them.

3. Pick a seat at the front. On the stretch variants of short-haul aircraft the bumps are significantly more pronounced at the back. In the cockpit the tea might ripple, in the back someone's knocked off their feet.

4. Don't go for valium/whiskey options. You might (a) make yourself sick, (b) make a complete tit of yourself, and/or (c) be incapable of escaping the aeroplane if something does go wrong.

5. Pilots have a vested interest in getting home safely with the minimum of paperwork. That works in your favour.

6. The most dangerous part of any flight is the drive to the airport.

everything Flaperon said is NAIL on head!

Might sound counter productive but why not tackle the problem head on, rather than just try to mask the symptoms? Maybe book an hours trial flight in a small twin seater at your local flying school where they let you handle the controls a little bit.

It worked completely for a work colleague (although she did take some convincing) and having spent an hour flying in a fabric winged microlight with an instructor, commercial flights in a big jet are now no longer a problem.

A little understanding and flight experience go a long way it would seem and in a small plane the sensations of flying are much greater. You feel every single little bit of turbulence and realise that air movement is just part of normal flying and rarely dangerous.

I hate it too lately

Which is strange as I've been to australia before

My main thing is claustrophobia

I went on the Virgin fear of flying course last year, and went up for 40 mins

Having been involved in the design and testing of the majority of aircraft systems over the years I can tell you there is nothing to worry about. Just don't fly 787. 😀

I'm quite suprised that the "get a new job that doesn't involve flying" comment hasn't been made yet in the usual caring sharing STW way 😉

Can you isolate what it is about commercial flying you are now struggling to tolerate?

Years ago was with a party of fellow students flying to the States, one of whom (a good mate called Josh) was very, very nervous having never flown before. A mate of mine in the party had forgotten to send a letter to the bank that had to go before he flew and was in the process of writing the address on the envelope when Josh (who nad never flown) asked him what he was doing. "Just sending off my will" said Paul, "Have you done yours?" He went white, but then laughed so much that he pretty much forgot that he was afraid in the first place.

Totally irrelevant I guess, and in bad taste, but bottom line is that statistically flying is by far and away the safest form of mass transport. You're far more likely to be hurt driving a car, or even crossing a road, than you are flying in a plane. If you really want to up the stakes of course, you could take up a highly dangerous extreme sport like mountain biking... 😉

Now there's real danger lurking...

crashes in europe are rare and statistically are two things which make for comedy gold

i can tell you some right stories about very very expensive subassemblies for aircrafT, and enginE components that as they neared the end of their process and got more and more valuable in terms of "holy shit we can't scrap this value" you know stuff that gets bodged before it gets to the inspectors so it doesn't fail

would i get on a plane with certain engines on it would i ****

and to be honest neither would you if you knew

SCARED OF FLYING YOUVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE SOMETHING CATHES UP WITH THE BODGED PARTS

terrorism isn't even a dot on the landscape compared to whats hidden mechanically waiting to go wrong

poof here one minute dropping out of the sky the next

holy **** dont even get me started with carbon jets...jeeeeeeesus

To cut my contribution short, it was everything Flaperon said - especially coffee & alchohol, don't drink those as they heighten anxiety and can reduce the effect of some meds. Which brings me to those - I'm in such a state that I've no other option than Diazepam for short haul, and Tamazipam to knock me out long haul. Trust me, I'm that bad that if I am woken up I'm perfectly capable of escaping.

I started with a trip to New Zealand, then Malaysia for business - no issue. However I did several years back an forth to Shetland & the Western Isles. The resulting tubulence, missed runways, urgent "between storm" takeoff's and sideways landings have left me quivering in-flight. No issues with Planes in general, noises, mechanics, take off or landing.

I've done the Fear of Flying courses, Hypnosis, reading, CBT, TFT and taking control to no avail. At the end of the day, I get on a Gatwick and wake up 1/2 hour before we land in Barbados and that's how I like it.

The resulting tubulence, missed runways, urgent "between storm" takeoff's and sideways landings have left me quivering in-flight.

But these are all part of normal flying:

[b]Missed Runways - [/b]probably the result of a go-around due to the pilots deciding not to progress with the landing for a whole variety of reasons. Standard operating procedure and practiced over and over again.

[b]Turbulence - [/b] air movement, could be likened to how waves or current affect a boat? Feels strange but almost certainly nothing to worry about. The bigger the aircraft the less you will feel this. You should see the turbulence tests they conduct on aircraft before getting certified. Saw the wing of a 777 being bent in such a test so that the wingtip was almost vertical before it finally failed.

[b]Urgent Takeoffs -[/b] Can't comment on individual situations but commercial pilots are in constant contact with ATC regarding weather conditions, factor this into a pre-flight plan and no pilot would be taking off unless 100% happy things were safe.

[b]Sideways Landings -[/b] Simply a correction for a crosswind, (or in smaller aircraft a sideslip can be induced to loose height quickly) - again completely normal procedure and nothing to worry about?

This is not meant to sound patronising in any way, just to help put things into perspective.

I found a hypnotherapy session worked to a degree before a flight to HK. I still dislike it and find every minute in the air lasts 3 times longer than a minute on a turbo trainer.

People can spout as much as they like about how safe it is but that makes no difference, its an irrational fear.

Same boat for me. I've grown increasingly nervous about flying. I fly regularly for work and holidays, including plenty of long haul trips.

My anxiety peaked with a meltdown pre-flight on a trip to Germany that resulted in me walking off the plane just as they were about to close the doors! I've flown since, within UK and felt very panicky but managed both ways. Have a couple of long haul trips coming up which I am dreading but have booked the EasyJet 'Fearless Flyer' course to try and get back to my old self.

agent007 - Member
The resulting tubulence, missed runways, urgent "between storm" takeoff's and sideways landings have left me quivering in-flight.
But these are all part of normal flying:

Missed Runways - probably the result of a go-around due to the pilots deciding not to progress with the landing in a Gales force wind - 3 times in Aberdeen, once in Shetland and 1 approach x 4 in Glasgow. Plus an incident on a 15 seater proper where the oncoming gust almost killed the props on approach. That last one had everyone screaming.

Turbulence - air movement, could be likened to how waves or current affect a boat? Feels strange but almost certainly nothing to worry about. The bigger the aircraft the less you will feel this. You should see the turbulence tests they conduct on aircraft before getting certified. Saw the wing of a 777 being bent in such a test so that the wingtip was almost vertical before it finally failed. Sure, but if your are irrationally scared of falling, Turbulence becomes a much bigger issue.

Urgent Takeoffs - Snowing heavily in Shetland / Gales in Western Isles - both urgent dashes to a plane to fly, max power takeoffs through lesser weather systems on the basis that any delay would force an in flight issue. Neither helped my confidence.

Sideways Landings - Simply a correction for a crosswind, (or in smaller aircraft a sideslip can be induced to loose height quickly) - again completely normal procedure and nothing to worry about? Ever landed in Shetland? Its a 45 degree bank over the bay - aka the plane isn't level and to a non pilot in its optimum flying position - in a gale, coming onto the landing strip at a severe angle, banging onto the tarmac then having the tale violently whipped round

I've edited that to reflect the reality of my situation ^^ Add it all up then add an irrational fear of falling (so my hypnotherapist told me, perhaps backed up by the fact I have a fear of bridges) and you'll see where I'm at.

I forgot to add flying through a violent thunderstorm in KL, finding an abandoned bag in an airplane toilet, and a 1000ft (so the pilot said) drop into an air pocket back from the caribbean once.

It would seem I've run my fair share of unlucky incidents.

Yeah I had one of those down-drafts after leaving Turin in the thunder storm. You could hear all the plastic in the plane's cabin straining as the fuselage distorted at the bottom of the drop. Gave me the buzz! Amazing things modern planes.

@ Kryton57

If you park the irrationality, can you find any comfort in the fact you've been through all that and [i]still[/i] walked safely from every single flight?

I can't offer any advice as to how to deal with your anxieties, but hopefully you can take some comfort in the knowledge that even if you defy the astronomical odds of being involved in an air accident, the statistics say you are overwhelmingly likely to survive. In the recent Asiana B777 crash at San Francisco everyone survived the crash. Unfortunately 2 people died afterwards when, I believe, they were hit by one of the emergency vehicles rushing to their aid.

As for the mechanical robustness of modern aircraft, again it is a fact that the overwhelmingly majority (i.e. 99.something %) of air accidents are not due to a failure of the aircraft. The aircraft themselves are very robust and have multiple redundancy built in, so if a component or system fails then there are back-ups. Often the passengers will have no knowledge of a component or system failure and the flight more often than not continues to the destination leaving the passengers to enjoy the in-flight entertainment sipping their G&T’s in blissful ignorance.

I'm a frequent flyer but have been on a number of hairy flights where I’ve been glad to get on the ground even though I know that i'll be OK, I was scared. It’s an unjustified fear, but we’re only human afterall. Sorry I can’t offer any advice on how to deal with the fear.

I am a frequent flyer like yourself and also an ex aircraft engineer.

I went through a phase of the same fears creeping in too at the beginning of the year.

I just found I was overthinking the whole thing. We put our faith in muppets behind the wheel of a car every day whether we are cycling or in our cars, but we don't get the same fears.

My conclusion was that there are many checks and failsafes in the aircraft industry that I shouldn't be worrying about it.

I hate flying ,its not the height thing as I climb and abseil its the fear of it crashing and I cant think how anything could change that .I just try and read the whole flight to distract my mind from thoughts of crashing

iolo - I used to be a bit like you, started flying 2-3 times a week and for some reason got it into my head I was 100 times more likely to have a crash than the guy going once a year on his holidays which seemed to freak me out for quite a while.

I then had an opportunity (pre 9/11 of course) to fly in the cockpit on the jumpseat as the plane was full. Really, if I could, I'd recommend it to anyone (alas, that ain't gonna happen these days). Much of my fear was just not being in control (I'm a bad car passenger too!) but watching those guys working the plane (and chatting to them) really put much of the fears to bed.

I hate take-off, once I'm up it's not a problem, even flying through the wake of another jet (that was fun) and a couple of aborted landings.

They know what they're doing. Just remember that.

Tallpaul - Member
@ Kryton57

If you park the irrationality, can you find any comfort in the fact you've been through all that and still walked safely from every single flight?

Yup, loads - as I sit here now I'm fine. But as soon as I'm off to an airport the irrationallity kicks in, current dulled by the drugs. Its not helps that I have a highly anxious personality.

If you happen upon an Irrationality Remover....

I used to be scared of flying in my teen ...

Always imaged the plane was splitting apart half way through the journey or the engine drop off ...

Not sure about these backup systems. On a Thomson flight to Majorca a couple of years ago we made an emergency landing in Bordeaux. Smoke was emanating from the cockpit and they had to fly in on oxygen. The pilots came out on to the concourse in the airport to explain the situation and said the plane could have lost all power and fallen out of the sky at any second. We nearly got the train home. But we figured we'd had our once in a lifetime near miss and carried on with the journey.

I'm not sure this thread is helping the op 🙂

I'm scared of flying too. Though I think it's to to with loss of control and claustrophobia. I sometimes joke that I'd be quite happy sat on the wing, or even sat in the cockpit. I don't actually mind taking off and landing, it's just the whole check-in thing and being stuck in a sealed tube packed with people at 30,000 ft with no way out.
I'm the same with the tube/buses etc, though one can always get off. This simple fact seems to make it go fine. Although I have had a meltdown on a rammed commuter train that just stopped for about an hour with no explanation.
Strangely, I love fairground rides and roller-coasters.

jools182 - Member

I'm not sure this thread is helping the op

😆

As a kid I was on Fokker Friendship and I was looked at the propellers on both sides of the plane to make sure they did not fall off ... not really sure what I would do if the propellers came off.

Then while landing I used to make sure the landing gears were down properly ...

When the plane hit air pocket I thought the plane was going down ...

Then I would image what crash victims would look like ...

All the above throughout my flight.

Before going to fly my friend used to show me movies of plane crashing to "help" me get out of it ... good friends them ... 🙄

Nowadays, I tend to notice pilot leveling the plane (cut power) just after they gain altitude / take off and even my father (very experience aircraft engineer) noticed that. He thought that was bad practice.

Try to take note after the plane take off and you will see them leveling the plane rather quickly to safe fuel whatever. I notice BA does not do that which is good but other airlines have the tendency to do so. Watch out ...

I dont have a fear of flying....im fine with that, its the crashing part I worry about!

Nowadays, I tend to notice pilot leveling the plane (cut power) just after they gain altitude / take off and even my father (very experience aircraft engineer) noticed that. He thought that was bad practice.

Try to take note after the plane take off and you will see them leveling the plane rather quickly to safe fuel whatever. I notice BA does not do that which is good but other airlines have the tendency to do so. Watch out ...

Nothing to do with safety - usually done around 1000 to 1500 feet above ground level to comply with noise abatement procedures of some particular airports located around populated city area.

So many myths that need busting! 🙂

Have a look here for some more useful info:

[url= http://www.askcaptainlim.com/ ]Ask The Captian[/url]

The pilots came out on to the concourse in the airport to explain the situation and said the plane could have lost all power and fallen out of the sky at any second

realy ? so what was so wrong that it would lose all power and or drop out of the sky.

Nowadays, I tend to notice pilot leveling the plane (cut power) just after they gain altitude / take off and even my father (very experience aircraft engineer) noticed that. He thought that was bad practice.

Are you sure about that ? what area is your fathers experience in and on on what aircraft types?.

Once an aircraft has reached the required altitude and speed the engines will be throttled back. Just after take off (depending on each airport) the autopilot is engaged which with the FMS(flight management system)controls how and to where the aircraft is flying not the pilots. They monitor where they are fuel burn etc.

And as for Compositepros comments about cocks up being hidden and how he wouldnt fly with certain engines if any of it is fact he should go and speak to the CAA .

Flying is safe compared to riding your bike to work

How the power reduction is handled by the pilot has a significant impact on how it feels in the cabin. With no visual reference it can feel like an abrupt level-off or even descent. Grabbing the thrust levers and yanking them back to the climb setting tends to do this, particularly after take-off from a short runway. Subtlety is key here...

Probably less obvious with BA (and other operators from long runways) because the power used for take-off is close or equal to climb power, so no actual thrust reduction takes place, just an acceleration. This matches the lower nose attitude so again, without visual reference you're not aware that anything has taken place

Plop pants, I think the pilots would have no more of a clue as to what was the cause of the smoke in the cockpit was as any of the passengers. I seriously doubt the aircraft was in immediate risk -I.e about to 'fall out of the sky', but clearly smoke in the cockpit is a situation that would cause an aircraft to divert to the nearest airport, more due to the health risk of the passengers rather than any immediate risk of a crash. In that situation the pilots would have followed standard procedures, put the engines into a configuration to eliminate or minimise the smoke coming into the cabin and diverted the aircraft for a safe and controlled landing. Clearly as a passenger this is a disconcerting situation as you don't know what the problem is or if it's going to get worse, but in nearly all these cases these are pre-determined scenarios with standard procedures that the pilots follow to deal with the issue and compete the flight safely.

Smoke in the cabin is usually due to an oil leak in the engine, the odour or smoke from which gets into the cabin air supply. Engines can continue to operate in this condition for some time, unfortunately the fumes are not great for people!

The pilots explained that they had a fire in the cockpit. Very surprised with their candid prognosis of imminent danger but that is what they said. That was more than enough detail for me and so I went for a sit down at that point. 🙁
That said, I have tried to find reports of the incident but found nowt.

agent007 - Member

Nothing to do with safety - usually done around 1000 to 1500 feet above ground level to comply with noise abatement procedures of some particular airports located around populated city area.

So many myths that need busting!

Have a look here for some more useful info:

Ask The Captian

I trust my father more than any others. He was on the plane with me on many occasions when that happened. This practice started to appear in the last 10 - 15 or 20 years.

My father used to work for a major airline until he retired.

I think he used to take charge of all, normal prop, turbo prop, jet engine (737 & early Airbus but not 747 as the airport was too short for that in those day) planes to occasional F1-11 (the only person allowed to check them at that time).

No word of a lie. Everytime I fly I make my peace with everyone and religiously check every passenger, any drunks near exits. Anyone who looks trouble, I ask stewardesses if a noise should happen etc etc etc.

On tiny prop planes Im like a kid at Christmas.

Weird.

Just let the fear feeling be there, don't try and stop it, just accept its there and divert to something present -reading a paper say. The feeling will die down by itself over several exposures, that is unless you consciously try and rid the feeling. Any anxious thoughts that accompany the fear mean nothing, its just your mind trying to explain the feeling.

Are you an analytical type of person? Trust the numbers, you're about 10 times as likely to be killed per mile on a pushbike as you are on a commercial plane.

Either that, or stop cycling 😉

I'm scared of flying but it's more about the claustrophobia and lack of control that does it for me. Maybe this story will help. I swear it's true.

At Malta airport I was waiting on the return flight to gatwick after a particularly drunk couple if days with a mate. In the terminal I spotted an English lad wearing full motorbike leathers including boots and gloves. I thought it was weird but thought no more of it until he sat across the aisle from me on the plane. By this point his jacket was zipped up to the top and his boots were done up as well. As we started taxiing out to the runway he clasped his hands together and started rocking back and forward like a Muslim at prayer. As we got airborne this continued until we eventually leveled off at the cruise. At this point he started relaxing, unzipped the jacket and took his gloves and boots off. Up until this point I assumed it was a weight/luggage issue why he was wearing this but alas, no. The old lady next to him asked him if that was why he was wearing the gear. His reply was, "if the plane crashes on take off or landing my bike leathers will protect me from the fire ball so I can get out the door". It was then that I forgot all about my fears as I was concentrating so hard on not collapsing with laughter and falling out my chair. True to form, when the pilot announced ten minutes, the gloves and boots were back on and the jacket was zipped back up. I don't know if the lad was a genius or nutter.

Anyways, buy yersel some bike leathers. It helped him.

Well statistics tells us that the majority of air crashes happen within a 6 mile radius of either the departing or arrival airport, so there might have been method in his madness.