Any memorable jokes that come to mind ? Please post the punch line only !
Death. By Mao Mao.
The headline on the local newspaper read; “Tzar chasm is the Maoist form of wit”
"Hitler, the fascist Hun in the vest"
I would like you all to welcome.. erm... oh yes... Diana Clunt!
"Don't fry for me Sergeant Ina"
Then a roadie came in, and he gave her one two
Gotcha, gotcha and now I'm going to eat ya
I put a little candle under the tin.
"I think it's a bad case of mixin' ma toasties"
It was an iron bar
Know it love, I freakin wrote it.
shit in her ****
Pigface - Member
Know it love, I freakin wrote it.
Hahaha that's the one I had in mind when I noticed this thread... Lol
He said, well don't go to those places.
Or
I saw the other man collecting pineapples!! (Kids favourite that one)
You're not here for the shooting are you?
it was mixing my toasties
Because they are fungi's.
From all the lads at the Fire Station, we'll never forget you...x
Beer tricks potter.
Well make something up then..
Oojanikabolokov?
Tunes help you breath more easily
Minjeeta..
A plinky plonky, honky tonky, winky ****y, wonky donkey...
You can't come in here without a Thai.
"....well you're certainly getting screwed; this is the Birkenhead ferry!"
The aristocrats!
Awful!
No tomatoes!
650b wheels bring the trails alive.
'Only if you get your thumbs caught.'
"Well you're ****ed now love the tides coming in."
I`ll follow you on me moped
I'm only 6!
Arch your back Morag and keep that gentleman's balls off the cold floor!
I am not sure who the other 2 are but is that Jeremy Beadle in the middle ?
getting the blood out of your clown suit
....and that's the last time I show my cock to a priest.
Fatima Whitbread
"We are all in it together"
ha! you think you're scared..!? I'm the one that's got to walk home on my own...
"I said 12 inch pianist"
then I wiped my cock on the curtains and she hit the roof !
(I definitely need to hear the Morag joke)
A stick
I heard you the first time—I'm putting on my shoes
and one for the road..
am not sure who the other 2 are but is that Jeremy Beadle in the middle ?
...but on the other hand it's tiny.
(I definitely need to hear the Morag joke)
[url= http://boards.fool.co.uk/highland-hospitality-11915081.aspx ]Slightly different but you'll get the gist[/url]
Not your lucky day is it ?
Do you understand now 2 dogs f*****g
Lemon entry, my dear Watson!
Smee again, goan **** yourself. 😀
Think yourself lucky, I've got to walk back by myself!!
I just wanted a big orange head...
"'Rectum', miss? More like killed 'em"
"If I'm going to have to gargle the holy water I want to do it before Sister Assumpta sticks her arse in it"
"Fatima Whitbread" ..... That reminds me of this one....
"You'd have a go at eating a cricket ball"
A friend nearly choked to death when I told him that joke many years ago
Gang rape
Only for a choccy bicky
I can't marmalade my c*ck up a girls bottom
Your poster of beyonce
Which goes to show that Hans that does dishes is as soft as Gervase with a vile green hairy lip squid
Sexy kids!
Right where`s this old woman ive got to kill ?
'I'm a prawn again Christian!'
And, of course:
'What? With these feet?'
They both went down after trying to take a little Phillipino in the ring!
"'Rectum', miss? More like killed 'em"
*applauds taste in jokes*
That is a classic biology teachers joke.
Presumptuous? Moi?
... her head was missing.
you can't cut cliff richard in half, fill him with warmed-up chopped liver and use him as a sex-aid
(thanks for the morag link, spin)
'And chucked out the Mexican!'
Brian Glover, sadly missed...
"...teeth like the holy commandments - ten of 'em, every one broke!"
Mike Harding
I know, and that's not my finger.
'It's OK, The hamster's a ventriloquist'
You can come in so long as you don't start anything
A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar.
That's from the man who shat in my pants.
You shouldn't stand for that- you go and sort him out, i'll look after your monkey.