MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Just read this interesting factoid:
"Some 45% of new fathers said they did not take paternity leave, according to a 2009 report by the Equality and Human Rights Commission. Of those, 88% said they would have like to have done so and 49% said they could not afford it."
Blimey!
Is this one of the last great institutionalised gender inequalities or just they way it has to be?
Seems a real shame for those dads that miss out on those first two weeks. They'll never get them back. And you do have to wonder if it makes it harder to bond with the baby if you're back to work the next day like nothing happened.
I thought this was telling tho: [i]"When my daughter Iris was born two-and-a-half years ago, paternity leave was £109 a week. There was no way I could afford take it - that wouldn't cover the mortgage, not without dipping into our savings.[/i]
For me, that is what savings are for, to make sure I can do things like that, but I guess those closer to the breadline may feel differently.
Thoughts?
I got 2 weeks full pay - rode a lot....
I could have missed out though as you're supposed to tell your employer about 3 months before the due date and I hadn't noticed that so was a few weeks late, fortunately they didn't mind.
I took my 3 paid days and then the holiday I'd saved up to make it up to two weeks. No way I was going to miss though first couple of weeks.
They never had it when mine were born, I just took some holiday days like everyone else
I took one week paternity (full paid), and one week holiday after it.
Then have taken the rest of my holiday since, mostly in one week blocks, plus all Fridays in August.
I work for a niceish employer - if you only get statutory, it can be quite a big amount of money to lose, and I can see why people are a bit careful about money when they've just had a baby.
Joe
Surely did- had a month off both times, luckily since both births were c sections.
Don't understand the rush to get back to work- so many fathers talk about their 'greatest achievement' etc, and then can't wait to get back to the office. If money was really that tight, wouldn't taking holiday be a good idea?
that is what savings are for, to make sure I can do things like that
I agree. Granted not everyone has savings they can did into, but I would have thought all but those on the breadline could at least put a bit of money aside during the pregnancy so they could afford time off work. Fewer pints at the weekend, fewer meals out and takeaways. It all adds up
No, the morning after the birth I went on a long ride to think things through.
Told work I was in hospital and told the missus I was at work.....I got rumbled though when I showed up at the hospital with mud on my arm.
I didn't take any for my first - she was born in the summer holiday and I'm a teacher.
The second was born during the term-time, so I took the week that I got on full pay. Couldn't afford to take the second week on statutory pay only and we don't get to take holiday in term time.
Seems like there are at least three camps here:
1) those that took the statutory-paid two weeks and shouldered with the financial shortfall.
2) those that opted to take some time as (presumably fully-paid) annual leave instead.
3) those that couldn't afford to, or for some reason didn't want to, do either and went straight back to work.
I'll be taking mine when our baby is born the end of November. If it's a little late I'll have nearly a month off with xmas holidays too.
I agree OP, that is indeed what savings are for, other than bike bling of course 😉
Took my full two weeks paid, back to work for a week and then two weeks Easter holidays.
Our nipper timed her arrival to perfection.
I have a very understanding employer.
Yep, took the full two weeks I was allowed. Number 2 is due in December and I'll hopefully do the same, although am hoping to change jobs soon so that may well depend on my new employer.
I took a week with Nos 1 and 2 (teacher, so was on holiday for second weeks anyway. Took 2 weeks for No 3, as looking after the other twoo and having a new born ain't easy. Each week cost ~£300 in lost salary, but worth it obviously.
I took 2 weeks, got full pay, got 5 days dependants leave and then 2 weeks holiday
I might add that as the recession was raging I really didn't think it was the best time to take two weeks off.
I imagine quite a few new Dads were/are in this position as well 🙁
Yip, in fact today is my first day back at work after 3 weeks pat leave 🙂
A lot of people (I assume) don't realise it's a right? Does seem a shame to miss out 🙁
Jnr Grips was born 3 days after my contract ended and I didn't have another - took me 2 months to find one which sort of worked out nicely - lived off savings.
I helped out with the baby at first, which I'm told was useful. However me and Meg didn't really start to bond for the next 6-10 months really...
Our little boy is due next week and I'll be taking two weeks pat leave.
Fortunately my boss is paying me full salary and also offering me another two weeks at the same later in the year - but the company do owe me a few bob from outstanding commissions and this is one way of contributing.
Not sure how I would approach it if I was only going to receive statutory because I work from home pretty much 4 days in 5 so I'd be able to shift some of my pattern around the little fella anyway. I must say that knowing I'll get the extra money does make it a no-brainer though.
There does seem to be a certain institutional sexism when it comes to baby leave.
Men get two weeks statutory at £109 a week, and if they are lucky they might get a few days of full pay at the discretion of their employer.
Women get, as statutory, 6 weeks at 90% pay and 33 weeks at £124 a month. It's not unusual for them to get more than that (MrsGrahamS is taking a full year).
Now obviously there are very good reasons that women need that long (recovery and breastfeeding being the most obvious).
I'm not arguing they should get less. But I still can't help feeling that men get a little hard done by in this arrangement.
Took 6 days off as holiday as i couldn't afford the derisory rate that paternity leave pays!
And my bitch manager tried to tell me that she couldn't spare me for 6 days, could i take 3 days and have the rest later?
Told her politely no and then went over her head straight to the MD and told him no too. He was fine about it.
Not much gets me that wound up, but that worked!
I'm not arguing they should get less. But I still can't help feeling that men get a little hard done by in this arrangement.
Conservative, Lib Dem and Labour manifestos all had commitments to allow people to swap some of their maternity leave over to the other parent. I dunno how that is going to work but I imagine it might happen in the end.
Joe
I'm not arguing they should get less. But I still can't help feeling that men get a little hard done by in this arrangement.
There was talk of making the leave transferable between parents.
Yep they should decide on an amount of time and make it available to either so both can take 4.5month or 6/3 or whatever. You might end up making it easier for women of child bearing age to get a decent job too - i think there's still a lot of "nope not having her she'll be wanting kids soon, think of all the maternity" goes on.There was talk of making the leave transferable between parents.
Told work I was in hospital and told the missus I was at work.
Hora you sneaky get, I'd have gotten a major ass kicking of the Mrs if I tried that. Could be classed as pretty major deception, considering the circumstances.
Coming in April 2011 unless the new government got rid of it:
Good news indeed joe.
I'll be taking mine, and then possibly a week or 2 unpaid - I'm a teacher, and the school will have to pay for supply cover, so I guess that's reasonable. It does seem incredibly skewed towards maternity rather than paternity. I can entirely see that my partner will need the time off, but the new rules (assuming that they actually take place) sound a fairer idea.
It does seem incredibly skewed towards maternity rather than paternity. I can entirely see that my partner will need the time off, but the new rules (assuming that they actually take place) sound a fairer idea.
To be fair though, assuming breastfeeding, looking after a baby is massively skewed towards the mother also, for at least the first few months. Especially if you have a somewhat unpredictable and 'very alert'* baby like we have.
Joe
* for 'very alert' read 'basically awake all the night and day for the first few weeks'
Just back from 2 weeks paternity leave - fortunately on full pay. Those 2 weeks were a total crazy sleep deprived blur, but I wouldn't have wanted to miss them for anything. It is a shame that some people are unable to take them.
I'm on paternity leave now. My son was born 2 days ago and I plan to take 2 or 3 weeks hopefully. Can't afford the statutory pay though. Mum and Baby are doing great.
No.
Although 2 week shutdown at Xmas meant I was off for 4 weeks (all holidays) I was in and out of work the first 2 weeks.
Day after birth I was sat at home drumming my fingers on the table and too knackered to go for a ride so I did some work.
I'm not some workaholic monster but there wasn't much to do as the house was tidy and food ready and baby asleep.
It all depends on the baby if your going to be useful or not. Most sleep during the day for the first few weeks as that's what they did in the womb.
Those 2 weeks were a
total crazy sleep deprived blur,
Another good reason new dads shouldn't go straight back to work: rush hour traffic is dangerous enough for those who have had more than one hours sleep and they'll be **** all use once they get to the office anyway.
We had a rough time with our little angel in the first months. I fell asleep at my desk several times and managed to scrape my car along a pillar in the car park.
Me and mrsmidlife both self employed by time first arrived.
two weeks taken this time round. First time round, only took one week, and spent most of that looking at our baby not sure what to do with it, second time spent most of the time out playing with bikes with the first one.
Paternity Leave - did you take yours?
Too bloody right I did. The full two weeks immediately followed by two weeks holiday, fantastic to be able to spend that time with my family!
About 3 weeks into the leave my then gaffer & another colleague visited to see our newborn and proudly exclaimed he'd done **** all (while I'd been off)and had left me loads to do on my return!
Oh, by the way he really had too and moved my office 17 miles 😯
stuck it out another couple of months then returned to my old job.
Didn't take paternity leave as I'd just changed employers and didn't think I was entitled (in retrospect I should've taken the first week, but wouldn't have been able to afford the second week). Anyway I took 2 weeks of my annual leave so didn't miss out.
I did...took the full 2 weeks then was back at work for 2 and off again for another 2 as a pre-agreed summer holiday...worked a treat for me...
orena45 - you might not have been allowed it:
To qualify for Statutory Paternity Leave, you must have been with your employer for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the start of the week when the baby is due.
You must give your employer notice in, or before, the 15th week before the week the child is due.
With my first I just never bothered going back to work.
Tigerroach - I work in local government and had just changed from one council to another and like you say I thought those rules would apply hence I wouldn't be eligible. However afterwards I think continuous service might have meant I was actually eligible so could've taken at least the week, d'oh!
I was made redundant two weeks after my wife gave birth to twins. I think they were still in hospital actually. I was going to take paternity leave but if someone gave me the option of two weeks paternity or being made redundant I'll take redundancy any day of the week.
t took 2 weeks at the goverments lovely sum of £103 odd sum a week
Hora you sneaky get, I'd have gotten a major ass kicking of the Mrs if I tried that. Could be classed as pretty major deception, considering the circumstances.
I'd been super-chilled the whole way through from before the labour to during to after. I told her to WTFU and it was only a cat-lick and over in a shortwhile whereas I'd been traumatised, stressed and tired from telling her to push for soo long.
(Some of the above may be patently untrue or a blatant lie)
no cos when my kids were born, it was not a problem , as it seems to be now, son was born 3 days later was back in N.I , what is the point i ask my self often.
I didn't. Wanted to but the loss of the two weeks' money comes out in one month - had I been able to spread it over the tax year it wouldn't have been a problem.
It was a bit tricky as our lad was three months early and the missus still needed looking after for a while after the birth, so you kind of need paternity leave twice - once to look after mum and get used to what's going on, and another more normal one once you get the baby home - but I ended up having to go back to work and let her down somewhat, just so I'd have enough holiday for when he came home from hospital and for the rest of the year. I managed to bag a few days' emergency leave during the 'excitement' but not the paternity leave.
So I think the scheme is fine, bar the cost hit being all in one go. If you're living to your means, it would mean the mortgage not getting paid one month.
Bloody scroungers!
In my day any time off meant we either lost pay or it came out of our holiday allowance.
Not taken any 😥 Trying to arrange locum cover in August is tricky at best of times. When it could have been anytime in a 6 week period even trickier to organise.
Off for birth and day after but back to work after that. Such is life, the pay level means I have just stored up holiday and will use that instead but when he is about 3.5 weeks old ie week after next.
Sleep deprivation is similar to being on call but both together is a bit of a killer!
Still worth it as he is cool.
Has anyone taken any unpaid leave i.e. the 13 weeks unpaid leave that you are entitled to take before the child is 5?
My son is 5 next year and both myself and the wife have taken 2 weeks unpaid leave each this year, the reduced pay has just filtered through to our paypackets this month, so keep an eye on the classifieds for all the stuff I will be selling.
I was made redundant two weeks after my wife gave birth to twins.
Now you see if in that sentence you simply dropped words 'my wife' and replaced them with 'I', there's no way that would ever have happened. Daffy, did you think about bringing a case for discrimination?
I was made redundant a month before my son was born and at the time there were two pregnant women in the offce, niether of whom were even 'put at risk'. This caused a lot of upset to other people who were at risk, myself included, because it seemed grossly unfair that their pregnancy meant they were being treated differently.
As it turned out, being around full time for his first six months of life was the best opportunity I could have ever had, but I sure as hell would not have volunteered for it. I would have taken paternity leave though.
When my first child was born I was unemployed so spent loads of time with her for the first two months before I found a job. When she was about 5 months old she developed some sort of hatred for me and wouldn't come near me for anout 3 months without screaming like a lunatic, which was pretty upsetting.
The second was born three years later and due to financial pressures (only earning £82 a week as an apprentice) I only took the 1 week off allowed by my employer. As such I missed out on the "essential bonding" time afforded to my first child. And yet experienced no such hatred issues.
I just think you should make time for your children wherever and whenever you can, if you can afford to take the time off, great, if you can't then don't beat yourself up about it. In the long run, as long as you put family before work then eventually you'll reap the rewards (even if you can't afford the bike you really want and have to make do with buying second hand 3 year old machines!!)
No-one died wishing they'd spent more time in the office.......