[Closed] Parental priority over booking holiday at work

Parents should not get priority over school holidays. Great if everyone can be flexible and work it out between them, but that doesn't always happen. Your reason for specific dates is just as valid as any other.

TGA (parent of three schoolchildren)

Phone in sick for the week, it's as much as the parents will ha e taken to look after their sprogs. Just have to remember that they are better than you.

I do my best to allow parents to take time off in school holidays but that's because I'm nice, not because it would be discrimination if I didn't. They chose to have the kids, it's not my fault holidays are more expensive then. A bit of give and take works wonders for keeping everyone happy.

FFS this forum is insane... there's some selfish sods in here.

That's stupid, just because you have kids doesn't give you any right over someone who doesn't.

That's well out of order IMO. If people choose to have kids the accompanying inconveniences are for them to put up with, not you.

First come first served.

Just a general observation there weeksy?

If people choose to have a hobby the accompanying inconveniences are for them to put up with, not you

It's not the parents fault he wants to go away that week.

Milk and sugar ?

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[i]First come first served[/i]

This.

mikewsmith - Member

Just a general observation there weeksy?

Not really mate, you may have seen in several posts I comment on how sanctimonious/opinionated STW is, it's beyond ridiculous at times how bitter, selfish and twisted peoples grasp on reality actually is.

From the Fat bike love/hate, to the wood burners, then onto speeding, people with kids and people who do or don't go on 'cheeky' trails. It seems on here if you have an axe to grind with the world, you're far from alone, especially if it's a bit middle class/daily mail, then all the better for it.

I sometimes sit here and think "what a bunch of arrogant idiots..." but then, some on here (as seen earlier today by me) are really helpful, nice and lovely people.

Bemuses me how people make it through days at a time without bbeing battered senseless... I can only assume they're not as arrogant in real life.

I do my best to allow parents to take time off in school holidays but that's because I'm nice, not because it would be discrimination if I didn't. They chose to have the kids, it's not my fault holidays are more expensive then. A bit of give and take works wonders for keeping everyone happy.

This.

Stop trolling weeksy. 🙂

Did you get the holiday?

First come first served.

(parent myself)

With whom did you have the argument? Has someone actually booked the same week off?

I normally allow parents (with the agreement of the other workers) to have first dibbs at the holiday calender, but once it's gone, it's gone.

MrNice - Member

I do my best to allow parents to take time off in school holidays but that's because I'm nice, not because it would be discrimination if I didn't. They chose to have the kids, it's not my fault holidays are more expensive then. A bit of give and take works wonders for keeping everyone happy.

What I was going to say, only I was going to use way more words.

If people choose to have a hobby the accompanying inconveniences are for them to put up with, not you
It's not the parents fault he wants to go away that week.

EDIT: What MrNice says basically.

there are many choices..
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I comment on how sanctimonious/opinionated STW is, it's beyond ridiculous at times how bitter, selfish and twisted peoples grasp on reality actually is.

As parents it's not really a 'choice' apart from the fact of course you've chosen to have children. But you're then tied into 1 of you taking inset days off, or days when your child is sick and of course school holidays... believe me, I'd LOVE to take time off at more appropriate times, cheaper times too etc... but it's not actually possible...we can't as parents 'move' holidays about in the same way non-parents can.

It does sound a bit odd - I suppose normally most folk without kids avoid the school holidays like the plague so it just sorts itself out. However, it's a bit of a dangerous game for your management to start deciding who's holiday is more worthy.

we can't as parents 'move' holidays about in the same way non-parents can.

apart from the fact of course you've chosen to have children.

Bingo!

Other people will generally try and be accommodating, but that should be appreciated rather than expected.

As a wise man* once said, "we're here to make babies and look after the place".

As someone has already said, as a non-parent I was happy to give priority to the parents, partly because holidays are cheaper and places quieter outside those times. However, if there was a reason it had to be then, then hard lines.

*ok. It was Billy Connelly

what if there is something a non parent needs to do in school holidays is that not allowed?

Of course, and when compromises are possible then of course people can and will do that. But it's a small world and people need to TRY and understand eachothers needs.... and sometimes accept that things just are not viable on occasions.

First come first served.

As parents it's not really a 'choice' apart from the fact of course you've chosen to have children. But you're then tied into 1 of you taking inset days off, or days when your child is sick and of course school holidays... believe me, I'd LOVE to take time off at more appropriate times, cheaper times too etc... but it's not actually possible...we can't as parents 'move' holidays about in the same way non-parents can.

(not) sorry but you know the rules when you join Parent Club. One of those rules is that children of school age are only [i]supposed[/i] to go on holidays when the schools are actually closed.

One of the rules of supply & demand is that when there's more demand & the supply (of hotel rooms) is fixed, the price will go up.

If you don't like the combination of these two rules, well you can always keep your toffees wrapped. or tie a knot in it, or something.

work holiday plans should always be "first come first served", nothing else is fair.

I always volunteered to cover the christmas call out period though. That's the kids time. I wonder if anyone will be as thoughtful now I have a littleun?

Funny enough, I have a child who's 6 and due to lack of family nearby won't be out drinking over Xmas. So have taken on call for both Xmas and New Years so people who can go out and get drunk actually now have the time off.

You're aware guys, if your parents had not made the sacrifice to have you, instead choosing to keep it wrapped up, you wouldn't even bloody be here to post this stuff ? The fact your parents made sacrifices, financially, emotionally and physically is the only reason you even exist today !

Is the equation:

Parents get priority over 14 weeks a year
Non-parents get priority over the rest of the year

If this is the case the OP's gripe is that the three/four spring classics clash. This will not always be the case with Easter moving around so is it just this year's classics being an issue?

How many parent's in your company take those weeks off?

There are a lot of variables here so your company may be saying the right thing in the wrong way, but it is a bit harsh considering the first bit of the equation above.

sacrifice? [i][b]sacrifice?[/b][/i] doing what comes naturally?

IHN - Member
First come first served
This.

No priority for parents IMO (speaking as one), but those who just block out the calendar more than a year ahead are being just as selfish

Maybe you could agree that all employees get a deadline by which requests for a big "holiday" have to be in, and then review them as a whole including criteria like how often you ask for leave during peak times. If somebody expects to book every easter, christmas and summer holiday then they're a self-centred arse, parent or not

You're aware guys, if your parents had not made the sacrifice to have you, instead choosing to keep it wrapped up, you wouldn't even bloody be here to post this stuff ? The fact your parents made sacrifices, financially, emotionally and physically is the only reason you even exist today !

Right, but part of working in a diverse workplace is navigating these questions...without anyone throwing the toys out the pram. You can't go treating people without kids worse than with.

wood burners

Funny enough, I have a child who's 6 and due to lack of family nearby won't be out drinking over Xmas.

Now I'm a parent, and I don't see it as a sacrifice. It's a pleasure.

No priority for parents IMO (speaking as one), but those who just block out the calendar more than a year ahead are being just as selfish

Maybe you could agree that all employees get a deadline by which requests for a big "holiday" have to be in, and then review them as a whole including criteria like how often you ask for leave during peak times. If somebody expects to book every easter, christmas and summer holiday then they're a self-centred arse, parent or not

Agreed- for me it's about accommodating people where you can and basically not being a d!ck, and I'd expect everyone I work with to do the same. But the impression given by in the OP is that the management think that having kids is some sort of trump card.

FCFS policy in everywhere i've worked.

Generally it's staff with the kids kicking off they can't have the holiday when THEY want it. Yes, the 'its unfair you haven't got kids' card has been rolled out on a regular basis too.

I try and compromise where necessary when it comes to people with kids.
But some parents really do like to ram it down your throat that they are parents and seem to expect some kind of extra special treatment as a result.

As someone with two kids of school age, I say to the OP:

"Enjoy the classics, mate!"

Childless people... if us parents didn't have kids there'd be no-one to fund your pensions, care packages and wipe your back-sides when you are pensioners!! 😀

As a general rule if "traditional holidays" need to be covered then it should be on a rota for everyone. For a lot of people christmas holidays are a time to catch up with family (parents etc). booking the year out on day 1 before anyone else gets a shot at the calendar is out of order too. Sob stories should also be reserved for real emergencies.

the-muffin-man - Member

Childless people... if us parents didn't have kids

Perhaps some of the 'childless people' are not childless through choice.....and would love to be in your shoes.

you should try booking holiday at half term etc where i work, everyone else has kids, I don't, but my OH is a teacher so we have to go away when the kids are off

Perhaps some of the 'childless people' are not childless through choice.....and would love to be in your shoes.

FFS - It was a comedy statement - if we're throwing baby stories around I can put in 3 miscarriages, and 4 operations to our only child within a year.

Whilst I agree with the OP that it is rediculous that he is being denied holiday to go to an event he has no control of, this attidude...

If people choose to have kids the accompanying inconveniences are for them to put up with, not you.

and it's growth in society is a vile trend.

Not only does it perpetrate the myth that having kids can only be a lifestyle choice for the well off but it is also a very short termist selfish attitude to take.

I know it's obvious but if people did not have kids then this country is up shit creek. Who is going to pay for your pensions, public services etc when you are too old a decrepid to work.

Childless people... if us parents didn't have kids there'd be no-one to fund your pensions, care packages and wipe your back-sides when you are pensioners!!

I find that reference to this graph and a request that *their* little darlings pop around tomorrow morning with some Andrex generally shows up the lies in that sort of statement.

[img] [/img]

and it's growth in society is a vile trend.

Not only does it perpetrate the myth that having kids can only be a lifestyle choice for the well off but it is also a very short termist selfish attitude to take.

the-muffin-man - Member

FFS - It was a comedy statement

Oh yes, I missed the smiley face you put in......

Hey Weeksy - some people with six year olds will be actually at work on Christmas Day, not just on call 🙂

shifter - Member

Hey Weeksy - some people with six year olds will be actually at work on Christmas Day, not just on call

Rubbish in-laws too hey 🙂

First come, first served here, booking is no more than 6 months in advance unless for "special circumstances" that mean it needs to be planned further ahead than that (weddings generally, not much else has passed that test). Very few parents are unreasonable about this, those that are get very short thrift.

Like a few others on here, I don't have kids but am married to a teacher so I have the some restrictions on holidays, I see no reason I shouldn't have equal rights to those dates.

Bemuses me how people make it through days at a time without bbeing battered senseless... I can only assume they're not as arrogant in real life.

I suspect many people use STW as an outlet for their frustrations with life and as a place to smear their unhappiness where their real life friends and family won't have to witness it.

Should be sympathetic, but it's hard when some seem determined to be dicks about everything.

I know it's obvious but if people did not have kids then this country is up shit creek. Who is going to pay for your pensions, public services etc when you are too old a decrepid to work.

Or... If people didn't have kids then the planet might not be screwed. Bandying children around as if they're part of some noble sacrifice for the good of society is fairly ridiculous.

Perhaps there are things that are important and need to be respected, going away for a week isn't one of them.

Or... If people didn't have kids then the planet might not be screwed.

this attidude...is a vile trend

Breeding is selfish.
If you wanted kids for altruistic reasons, you'd adopt.

what is this, rag week?

there's some selfish sods in here.

I wanted mine just for picking up chicks at coffee mornings.

as somebody once said in an office I worked in if you want all the time off your kids do, be a teacher. 8)

weeksy - Member
I wanted mine just for picking up chicks at coffee mornings.

Living in Spain when my eldest was born - I got BANNED from going anywhere with her on my own....
Never seen a better way to be surrounded by lots of gorgeous women 🙂
Not even the Andrex Puppy comes close!

Why can't everyone just try and get along nicely?

That's what I try and teach my kids 😉

if us parents didn't have kids there'd be no-one to fund your pensions

I fund my own pension thank you very much

Imagine my surprise when I once had a minion ask me for time off to let his progeny ride a fat bike. You couldn't make it up.

As a general rule if "traditional holidays" need to be covered then it should be on a rota for everyone. For a lot of people christmas holidays are a time to catch up with family (parents etc). booking the year out on day 1 before anyone else gets a shot at the calendar is out of order too. Sob stories should also be reserved for real emergencies

This, FCFS is nonsense.

The fact your parents made sacrifices, financially, emotionally and physically is the only reason you even exist today !

Breeding is selfish.
If you wanted kids for altruistic reasons, you'd adopt.

It wasn't a sacrifice

Says the man without kids 😉

If we're getting into silly hypothetical scenarios. I wouldn't care if I'd never been born, because I would never have existed which is a prerequisite of caring about stuff.

I'm grateful to my parents for bringing me up but not for creating me in the first place.

a vile trend.

Not only does it perpetrate the myth that having kids can only be a lifestyle choice for the well off but it is also a very short termist selfish attitude to take.

I just don't happen to think the fact that somebody has chosen to have kids means it's more important that they get to go on holiday at a time that suits them. I don't feel that I or anybody else needs to make any allowances for that beyond simple courtesy that I'd hope would be extended whatever the circumstances.

I just don't happen to think the fact that somebody has chosen to have kids means it's more important that they get to go on holiday at a time that suits them

They don't necessarily go on holiday due to expense, however due to their child not being at school, they still have to take the time off either way at that particular time.

If you wanted kids for altruistic reasons, you'd adopt.

Want to explain that a bit more and tell me a bit of your understanding of adoption?

they still have to take the time off either way at that particular time.

I'm not aware of a legal requirement to attend the classics.

Having said that going on holiday minus the children does sound tempting.

Why the problem with people who 'choose' to have kids? You only exist because someone chose to have you. Being a parent is important, that can't be ignored. The country SHOULD damn well make an effort to support those who care for infants/children (e.g. parents).

I don't agree that holidays should be given to parents just to save them a bit of cash during expensive periods though. However I feel they should be given priority over 'normal' holiday requests if there are genuine childcare issues such as being unable to find someone to watch the kids during a particular period. Much in the same way that anyone with genuine pressing needs should get priority.

Exactly both are things people would like to do, not everyone gets what they want.

you need to organise their care but that's it.

@ £300-400 a week that's quite expensive though.

It's something to consider, especially as you would be very lucky to get the 13-14 weeks of leave to cover all the time your kids are off. It still doesn't mean you can have priority over somebody else for holiday time. Save the must have requests for when it's really needed.

@ £300-400 a week that's quite expensive though.

A couple of points:

1) Re the OP

apparently its discriminating against those with children

is clearly nonsense and in fact the opposite is the case - the assertion is that the childless have less "dibs" on those dates so if there's any discrimination going on, its against the childless.

2) There seems to be a lot of confusion in this thread conflating the need for parents to book leave during school holidays and "going on holiday" with comments about how much that costs. Do those making those comments not understand that, for younger kids, the need to be on leave may well have nothing to do with "going on holiday" and everything to do with the fact that the kids can't just be left at home alone to fend for themselves and so, in households were all the adults are in work, someone's going to have to take leave to look after them?

Same with the comment a page or two back moaning about parents needing time off at short notice if their kids have "a sniffle" or something - what are they supposed to do? If the school sends a seven year old home poorly, they need an adult there, don't they? You can't just tell the school no one's coming to pick them up until normal time because work are being a bit sniffy about it. And lots of schools have policies about not allowing kids back for a certain period. If my youngest pukes in the dinner hall today, they won't let her back in school tomorrow. Either me or the wife is going to be at home tomorrow then. Employers have to be reasonable about this (legal requirement).

None of which goes anywhere near justifying banning of leave for the childless during school holidays, as appears to be the OP's situation btw.

Steady on. I don't think nobody should ever have any kids. And I don't think I ever suggested it should be a lifestyle choice for only the well off.

That is what is implied in the statement made which basically boils down to "you had 'em so they're your problem".

Having kids is part of society and our society should be set up to enable people to have children. I'm not suggesting it's not at the moment. And the balance has obviously been skewed the other way in the OPs scenario.

But threads like these bring out the most vile options from some people and it apprears to be a gowing antisocial trend and therefore deserves to be spoken about in harsh terms.

Like anything else - consideration is where it is at. Being thoughtful and flexible should be our default mode IMHO. As a parent I wouldn't suggest that parents should come first with holiday requests and haven't expected that myself. I can honestly say I've walked the walk on this one.

People without children might want to consider that without parents and children the economic and social systems would grind to a halt. Choosing to be a parent isn't necessarily a selfish choice - it's a more often selfless choice that requires a lot of sacrifice. Every time you use a service you are being served by someones offspring. Without these future adults who will look after you when you are in your dotage...?

Be considerate. Be thoughtful. Care about others and their needs as well as your own. Life is honestly better for all of us that way.