[Closed] One sided relationships

I think it is sad though Druidh, you grow up with someone so there must be some kind of bond there? but I guess I'm just being sentimental.

For those that asked - no I haven't ever said anything because I think it is just a bloke thing by the looks of it, he's just very laid back and to be honest, I think he's like that with everyone. Like others have said I know he'd be there if I needed it, he's just completely useless at keeping in contact. I don't mind being the one chasing but just once every now and then it would be nice to get a response to a text!

My brother lives in Ireland. I reckon he moved there so he could detach himself from the family - I think he finds it easier that way. He never got on well with my Dad and we've always had a strained relationship. Sad really, he's a good bloke and if he wanted to talk about how he feels I reckon he'd get a positive response from us.
He made me Godfather to his two boys which was great and was a positive gesture but I'm b*ggered if I can get any communication from him at all. Text, email, Facebook. Nothing. He must just delete them without thinking... Had something of a personal crisis this year, got no message of support from him at all, except the time I called him... I have to say that's pretty poor, it only takes 30 seconds to send a text.
One of my best mates is a couple of years older than me. I've never said it to him but when we first met I saw him as a proxy older brother. He's not that close to his younger brother so I guess it's something that works for both of us.
I reckon happy and non-dysfunctional families are as rare as hen's teeth. Most people I know have issues at some level with siblings or parents.

emma82 - Member
I think it is sad though Druidh, you grow up with someone so there must be some kind of bond there? but I guess I'm just being sentimental.

I'd say it's sad because as siblings you might have a lot of shared experiences. When I think about the good things in my life, lots of them are related to my family in some way. If you don't have that outlook then yes, I'd say that was a shame because it's something precious.

It's precious to you because you have lots of shared happy memories. For me, those are with my folks and/or my friends. So, I haven't lost anything and there's nothing to be sad about.

I have 2 younger brothers.

One lives in Stoke and the other in Liverpool but I couldn't tell you where.

They never call me or get in touch with my kids.

We all like music but have nothing else in common.

It's a shame but thats life I feel.

Did your parents keep your brother in the basement or something? 😀

Did your parents keep your brother in the basement or something?

Was that for me Rich? He wasn't kept in a basement but actually there were a lot of unpleasant things happened to us as we were growing up courtesy of our bell end father, brother got the brunt of it though but weirdly has forgiven/forgotten and sees him quite often. I however cant be in the same room as said sperm donor without wanting to to physically harm him. I do sometimes wonder if that causes problems, it's an elephant in the room, we don't talk about it.

We were quite close as a family growing up. We stayed out of town and there weren't many other families about.

It started off with me distancing myself from my elder brother (and family) as they just weren't interested in me or my life. I was glad when they moved abroad but i do miss my nieces (who I love to bits) but hey ho I'm not that great an uncle to them. they usually say hi when passing through (bless 'em).

I guess that when I went through a rough patch splitting up with a long time partner I distanced myself from the rest of my family as I thought that I wasnt going to be about for much longer so it would be easier on them I guess.

Turns out I was a little premature on that score but the 'bond' has kind of been broken. I still make the odd token effort but I can't recall anybody really making an effort to contact me.

To be honest I 'cut out' a lot of people. I guess thats the way it goes.

That's my bed, so I'll lie in it.

I'm getting slowly a bit closer to my brother as we get older. But we have never been that close.
Haven't seen my father for 25 years - but may change that soon.

People who have entirely textbook families have real difficulty understanding that it isn't always that way as this thread shows...

I find myself agreeing with druidh. Must be an age thing. 😉

You can choose your friends but cant choose your family. Seems logical that you wont always like your family.

I think it is sad though Druidh, you grow up with someone so there must be some kind of bond there?

There is. I know this because when my sister was ill, close to death, I prayed for her. And am so grateful she has returned to health.

I suspect a lot of siblings have issues that derive from parental attention problems, perhaps that the elder envies the necessary attention paid to the younger. And this carries on hidden by layers of life-events.

I have no real memory of any kind of relationship with my sister when I was small - we just avoided each other. It was only after both our parents died that she and her new husband decided to care for me. It was a difficult situation to develop a relationship and there was a lot of tension. But I have not forgotten, despite the aggro, what she did for me.

We'll never be really close, but we get along better now then we ever have because we are older and can look back at events with better understanding.

I will ring her at the weekend. 😳

Like 'iseedarkness' i made a semi-consious decision to cut people out of what passed for my life at the time, although they weren't family but friends - i'd already cut the family away.

Like the above i think i was thinking similar thoughts for my sins.

Not good.

I called my sister last night to arrange meeting up over Xmas and what to buy the kids. It was during that conversation that we both realised we hadn't spoken since before their summer holiday. Nothing deliberate, just a failure to do much outside the day to day, week to week routine.