[Closed] Officemate who won't shut up

You seem obsessed. Is she hot?

^^^^^^ That

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dealing-People-You-Cant-Stand/dp/0071379444

Where I work, anyone found under the influence at work will pretty much get the sack. They literally bring the drink/drugs testing unit in if there's ANY accident these days, and I have no doubt that they'd do it as a preventative measure too....

Prawn - maybe. Kind of.

She is now calling me by my full name including my middle name - which I have never given her...

The sack? For being drunk at work? Whoah

Seriously, you sound like a right saddo.

You've got to be a troll.

But your imagination keeps the forum entertained which is a good thing.
Well done you.

maybe. Kind of.

She is now calling me by my full name including my middle name - which I have never given her..

[b]

[deleted as cba!]

I hope you're recording all of this as General Admin on your time sheet.

If she's getting blarted at lunchtime, why not have lunch with her tomorrow? She's clearly having more fun on the wind down to Christmas than you. She might show you a side of her you've never seen.....

[i]General Admin [/i]

'Core Business', surely 😉

She might show you a side of her you've never seen.

he's talking about her vag.

I'll describe the typical 'mental' at work..

- She thinks shes good looking.
- She talks about weight and dieting yet eats badly or drinks alot of alcohol.
- She thinks she gets alot of attention from men.
- She always mixes alcohol with first dates.
- She thinks gay men are great (almost as ****ing pets). How demeaning.
- She thinks her personal life is interesting to others.
- She was obviously never told by her parents that listeners are far better than talkers in a social situation.
- He dress/or skirt is almost too small.
- Why do we have to see your bare feet in summer?
- Shes got gym membership but it doesn't seem to be doing **** all for her figure does it.
- It takes everyone <1hr to get ready for a big function. Apparently it takes her upto half a day.
- She never has any money. Yet seems to spend a fair bit.
- See above she moans about money.

theprawn - Member

She might show you a side of her you've never seen.

he's talking about her vag.

Sporty olympic edition vag, I'd hope?

Or her cock 😯

[img] [/img]

Does she keep livestock?

this is either a troll, or JHW is a self important dickhead.

She is now calling me by my full name including my middle name

[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milhouse_Van_Houten ]Mussolini?[/url]

[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butters_Stotch ]Professor Chaos?[/url]

this is either a troll

Every company has a woman like this within proximity though. Sometimes its a man. A sort of Captain Flasheart 'look at me I'm irresistible to women whilst driving a Mondeo' cock.

The abuse included screamming that my son (pointing at him) was a bastard offspring, my wife is this and that, I was white trash.

Can I vote for this as thread of the year please?

really? has it been that sh*t on here?

[deleted as pure vitriol!]

Hora is showing quite a profound understanding of the human condition here.

Lots of Mondeos in our parking lot...and Specialized Sirrus hybrid bikes (it takes a special type of dullard to spunk £700 on a hybrid)

"Do you know what my brother's doing at the moment?"

Shagging a woman he met on a climbing weekend?

I'm going to go and have a cry in my office's Contemplation Room.

I heard that he's shagged her in his Mondeo...

(it takes a special type of dullard to spunk £700 on a hybrid)

Nice! 😉

Are you *ahem* taking her with you to the office's Contemplation Room?

she's mentally quite unstable and generally a very angry person (in an otherwise very low-key office) but I'm currently on her "good" side although I think she's picking up on frostiness lately
- is constantly on the phone shouting in a way that makes it impossible for me to do my job, even when I'm on sensitive calls myself (drowning me out). One time I did wave at her to turn her ****ing volume down (she is support staff; I was on a client call) and afterwards she got well pi$$y about it...
- we've recently installed new IT systems and this has been a particular catalyst for the telephone temper tantrums. Also it means there's been a constant flow of IT staff in our office which is very disruptive and unnecessary (everyone is having problems but she's the only one being a diva about it...)
- whenever I'm crazily busy she asks me to look at photos of her nephew or comes out with assinine mundanities like "JHW, I'm HUNGRY..."..."JHW, shall I have the salmon for lunch or penne arrabiata?" etc. When I'm 5 minutes off a deadline that's been building for months...

Bloody hell, my ex wife has finally got a job then, ..............................

If you spent £700 on your hybrid, I apologise...

At least you're not combining it with a neck brace

jhw - You really ought to stop posting about your job, office, and anything you do in a 'professional' capacity. Aside from coming across as a complete bell-end, there's probably something in your contract about bringing the company name into disrepute.

I'd also consider not posting an email address with your surname in it on another public forum, your forename on that same forum, and a Linkedin profile confirming both and your employer...

Dunno what you're talking about, but ta for the IT tip for future reference 🙂

hi,i have just realised i am "core"as i never get time to even look at these forums during working hours-can i have your job?As an employer i know you must tread lightly as tears are a powerfull weapon.I think the headphones sounds best but i bet you hook up at the Christmas party.This whole post has been histerical particularely as it is not me trying to sort it out for a change!Merry Christmas!!!

Whilst normally you seem to be a bit up yourself, in this instance I do actually understand your pain. Had a similar situation at a previous job. I was in the support team dealing usually with unhappy customers and this woman used to be VERY loud and hooty. Her line manager was a spineless little runt and didn't want to rock the boat. I tried. Being nice and asked her if she could keep it down, tried being rude when niceness failed. I left in the end!

Unfortunately I agree that putting up with it is the answer. Just part of life's rich tapestry...

There must be something in Peep Show about exactly this issue.

😉

Might I suggest some time management techniques if she's threatening your failure to meet a deadline that's 5 minutes away that's been building up for months?

Why is he bringing his company into disrepute?

He's not named his employer
He hasn't bitched about his employer
He's not complained about his hours, his contract, the ethos and ethics of his company

He's complaining about a fellow employees disruptive nature and (to me) lack of professional attitude.

If he wrote Mcdonalds make me work long hours and they rip me off on overtime

That's different...if its unsubstantiated..

In addition please guys stop the almost personal attacks on fellow posters letting off steam. Peace.

You have a parking lot full of mondeos, yet your office is in the City? Broadgate Circus?

In my experience, underground car parks in City buildings are mainy astons, mercs, range rovers etc. And that's insurance buildings, I guess law is even more prone to upper end car ownership.

Well, it's all about stealth wealth these days.

Nothing worse than capitalist running dogs who can afford to run a fleet of chrome plated flange magnets, yet choose to take the piss in family saloons instead 😉

I'm certainly with hora here ^. I can really understand what a pain working with someone like this can be.
Jhw, I suggest you buy her one of these and leave it on her desk as a Secret Santa pressy:
[img] [/img]

Nah opposite end Ned.

I did have a friend at another firm who excellently had to get a cab straight through the G20 protest (the one where Ian Tomlinson was murdered by the police) in order to go to her car dealership in Essex to pick up the Aston Martin she had just bought with her bonus.

Up against the wall chaps eh

That Spock is going to end up on an assualt charge.

Hey, I just realised I'm Core Yey me!!

But i wear short skirts and in summer you can see my feet. Boo.

😆

Damn, the pic I posted doesn't seem to have linked, unless it's just me, but I'll have another go, just in case. I saw these in a little shop in Bath that's a specialist tea emporium:
[img] [/img]

Great thread.

She's seeking your attention: either she fancies you or fancies promotion. Take her on a date, sleep with her, then break up. Enjoy the stony silence for a few weeks until she announces that she's pregnant.

It's your company's fault really - business core and support staff should never be mixed. Successful companies stick support staff in the basement.

Jaw - I'm fascinated to know who you work for.

Mainly so I can ensure that, whenever instructions need to be dished out, I can get you and Mrs Lippy working on the deal.... 😀

Pm'd omitn 🙂 Sounds like you've hit the holy grail of working for yourself basically or at any rate not in a massive organisation? Would be good to hear how you went about it...

I suspect that (a) what most of us really want is to be our own 'support staff' and (b) that more people than I would like to admit consider me as 'support staff'. There is a brilliant Onion article about this issue actually - it will come up if you google 'brass ring" 'plague'.

Fascinating...

I've worked in private practice and the observations are spot on. Generally it's an excuse for the partner and favoured very few to behave like tossers while the 90% remaining fee paying staff work towards making them rich.

Support staff are immune from the pressures of cost benefit analysis and tend to curry favour with those who hire them - usually partners. Yes, I've dealt with bolshy secretaries who've displayed atypical cup size and brashness.

The best solution is either to get the heck out of practice or start up your own elsewhere.

Jhw -I'll pick it up tomorrow. I work for a FTSE 200 telecoms company, so still a large organisation. I view private practice quite differently now I'm out (especially the large factories I worked for).

What PJM1974 says is true - remember your title: fee earner. You work, equity partners get rich. And the "jam tomorrow" bullshit is just that. A lie to make you kill yourself in the process - it's inefficient for you, but suits the EPs just fine. How do you think they afford those massive houses and a new S-Class every year?

Will PM you tmrw. Bed for me now..!

[i]She's seeking your attention: either she fancies you or fancies promotion. Take her on a date, sleep with her, then break up. Enjoy the stony silence for a few weeks until she announces that she's pregnant. [/i]

Well there you go. If a thousand STWers type away relentlessly, one of them will eventually come up with the ultimate answer. Brilliant!

I do love these distinctions though. Business core sounds awesome. Support staff sounds like a horrible, shit-shovelling type of job. No wonder they talk loudly.

Just checking.... I'm fundamentally a techie so that makes me support staff. Unfortunately I'm also a senior manager reporting directly to the board. Where does that put me? Just so I know who I have to doff my cap to and who I can spit on. It's terribly confusing. I'm assuming because I don't understand I must be support staff rather than core business. Yes. Now I know my place.

In true STW style, I haven't bothered reading the thread but has anyone suggested just setting up a bit of text-to-speech software that reads every post on this forum to her as they are made in real time in JHW's voice? You know, so she can feel a bit of affection back?

Hora is showing quite a profound understanding of the human condition here.

There is always the 'MTFU' solution and be as big a professional as you think you are and actually deal with it.

Or is STW a surrogate and you are really a simpering wetpants at work with gender issues?

konabunny you mean the bullshitter males? 😆

I suspect TooTall has it with

you are really a simpering wetpants at work with gender issues

www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u9JAt6gFqM

'look at me I'm irresistible to women whilst driving a Mondeo'

isn't this a description of any man in any car?

There is a girl in our office who is exactly as you describe. Everything and anything is treated as an interesting anecdote that must be broadcast at maximum volume to the entire office.

+1

Currently just experienced a whole day of "which dress" and "should I wear fake eyelashes" high volume conversation on the day of the Christmas party.

I experienced the OP's issue a year ago. I dealt with it by

a) Burying my head in my work and ignoring the issues
b) Dealing with her unprofessional behavior professionally and politely, but only when it directly and obviously impacted me
c) Not engaging in any personla social banter with her at all.

Unfortunarly shes the -s*xiest-dressing-best-looking-girl-you'd-most-like-to-sh*g-in-the-office also.

Kryton - how do you think that girl rates you?

Kryton - how do you think that girl rates you?

Hes doesn't drive a Vauxhall Corsa, wear £50 tshirts with a slack neckline that show his hairless chest and call his mates 'bruv'?

Hmmm... that seems like a rather [s]snobby[/s] STW perception of what she's actually thinking!

I'm incredibly aware of my surroundings. I'm always quite a critical/introspective sort of person about myself so when people say 'you are really grumpy, being a dick etc this morning' (I already know and it depresses me).

It's funny how people come across on a forum, isn't it!

heh!

The Southern Yeti - Member
Kryton - how do you think that girl rates you?

hora - Member

Hes doesn't drive a Vauxhall Corsa, wear £50 tshirts with a slack neckline that show his hairless chest and call his mates 'bruv'?

I don't know why? Are you suggesting her actions are a covert way of telling me she wants a night "in", or that she thinks I'm an idiot?

Bearing in mind I'm happily married rejection wouldnt bother me, but being demoted/losing my job cause I cant do my work properly does.

Response please, I'd like to know if I'm in with a chance 😀

Emsz but you are the sort of girl a man wouldn't mind seeing abit more of. I'm talking about the self important girls. A sort of Jewish Princess..

I've know a fair few of that type. Not sure if its a widely known term though?

Edit: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jewish%20Princess

Sorry Kryton I forgot about this.

I've been conditioned by Elfin and TeeJ not to be mysogimethingy anymore so can not comment. I respect all women for their brains no matter how stupid they are.

Hora, you're so on the money with this thread it's uncanny. That is all.

Which is absolutely not a comment on your last post. At all.

is this shit still going on?i thought by now you would have buried the body!
Jebus!

I am not quite sure you have understood the concept properly TSY

"business core" hah brilliant!