[Closed] Nurseries- a RANT

Sounds about right.

Split a nail Hora?

[i]WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? LEAVE WORK BECAUSE MY SON ISN'T FEELING HIMSELF?[/i]

yep.

we always went and got ours if the nursery said they weren't well - we trusted their judgment and they never called us unless the child was ill.

you're not paying nurses and how would you feel if your kid got ill 'cos some selfish ****er couldn't be arsed to to come and get their kid?

wwaswas its normally too late by the point (i.e. cross contamination). Hes generally been the last in his room to pick up what the others have just had.

We've had to take loads of time off work and it is irritating, but they get ill and perhaps they get upset that their parents see fit to dump them into the hands of underpaid teenagers when all they want is their mummy.

into the hands of underpaid teenagers

They don't have to do the job and minimum wage is paid nowadays.

Ontop of this the nursery gets paid regardless don't they? If there was a scheme where you only paid by the hour I bet the amount of calls to parents would drop....

Agree with wwaswas.

Nursery staff see many, many more kids than you or I ever will. If they have a concern about a child, be it a raised temp or rash or just acting unusually they will let you know.

Hora, your nursery are not surrogate parents. Just because you pay them it doesn't mean that you are absolved of responsibility when you are at work.

Dtfu

And yes you will be leaving early/coming in late and generally not working your normal hours for quite a while now. I'm sure your boss although pissed will get over it.

If you don't like it give up work and look after him full time..?

At home with hora

[img] [/img]

Hora, your nursery are not surrogate parents. Just because you pay them it doesn't mean that you are absolved of responsibility when you are at work.

Im sure you'll console yourself with the fact that you made the right decision when you're sat in A&E with a fitting child Hora.
Perhaps you'd rather they keep these things to themselves and wait until the child collapsed?
I'd rather know my son was unwell at the time than pick him up later and notice he was ill.

Yee gads. I've been swamped by bloody metrosexuals 😆

We've sat in A&E four times now because of his Mum being over-concerned.

'Fitting child'? Isn't that over-reacting? When you ride your bike are you worried about your legs falling off?

You get a call like that and you leave work and go and care for your child.

Simple.

Oh yeah, and you clearly need to change nurseries if you have such a low opinion of the people you pay to care for your child.

'Fitting child'? Isn't that over-reacting? When you ride your bike are you worried about your legs falling off?

My eldest had a serious febrile convulsion at 6 months. I got there 'extremely rapidly'.

crispedwheel - Member

Hora, your nursery are not surrogate parents. Just because you pay them it doesn't mean that you are absolved of responsibility when you are at work.

+1

+1 (or that +2?)

Having kids means lots of inconvenience and generally having to put them before your own problems which includes having to sometimes leave work at times that are really inconvenient/make you look unprofessional/cause other problems.

If you go an it turns out that your various accusations are true (which I doubt) then you should be looking for a different nursery really, shouldn't you 🙄

To be fair, the nursery person said "Your son isn't himself..."

I think that's fairly serious...was he replaced sometime after you dropped him off? I'd do some fairly strenuous identity checks on him before you pick him up.

Here's an idea. Pop up to the nursery, see the child and make your own decision?

Welcome to parenthood. Enjoy. They still cause lots of worry at 21 and sometimes they will even listen to reason!

You're child's well being is more important than ranting on the internet, in fact more important than anything.

Off to the nursery with you.

A mother in my team got a call from the nursery like that last week. She picked him up and brought him back to the dept office. He sat and looked a bit sad for 5 mins, someone offered him a biscuit, then a glass of squash. Had a scrawl on a book then got bored. An hour later she took him back as he was going mental and getting under everyone's feet.

She must get a call from the nursery once every 2 weeks along those lines. As mobiles don't work in the building and we very rarely work in the room where the landline phone is they can only leave a message. When she gets the message an hour or 2 later invariably which ever one was "ill" (twins) is ok again.

I guess it depends on the nursery but some do seem to like to off load at the first sign of trouble.

+whatever it's at now.

Surely you are not so bored of your kid already that you are finding them an inconvenience?! FS a child... offers? 😉

Seriously though the nursery (as has been said) is not there to be a surrogate parent. If they are not well then you get a call and you or your other half deals with it, thats what being a parent is all about.

but some do seem to like to off load at the first sign of trouble

This.
It is on the list to visit the nursery up the road. I have a number of concerns about this nursery which we've discussed. We chose this particular nursery as two friends recommended from their experience. Strangely its also the cheapest in the area.

So your rant isn't about how they treat your potentially ill child, but the fact you made a really bad choice and now want to blame someone else for the hassle?

Sorry hora, but I would drop everything for my nipper! But I would agree go to nursery and make your own mind up rather than sitting there ranting on STW

My daughter keeps leaving half chewed food on my left shoulder when I pick her up and snot on my legs when she grabs me. Sadly this and collecting her from nursery a lot due to high temperatures/not being her usual self are a part of parenthood...turned out the last one was conjunctivitis and a chest infection and the antibiotics lead to thrush in her mouth so me and MrsP were off for the best part of a week.

I am embarrassed for you posting this
My kids come first always
Ah well at least you have the time to moan on the internet whilst at your critical job that you cannot possible leave to check on his welfare 🙄

you must be a bad father, look at how many people have said so despite not knowing any more about the situation and the nursery than could be suggested in a rant.

i bet your kids grow up to be criminals or something now 😯

TBH though phil, he's hardly coming across as Parent of the Year at the moment, is he?

We use to get this, and they'd ring the other half too.

A fair bit of crying 'wolf' seems to go on, on both sides I may add.

As an aside - would the drop everythingers expect to make the time up/ take unpaid leave/ use holiday time or expect employer to wave it? If wave it how many wave its are taking the piss in a month?

I ask as head of department in a school. When a teacher has to drop everything I/the school now has 30 nippers without supervision to sort. Sometimes colleagues can hold the fort, at others a supply has to be brought in at the last minute (£30 ph+ travel). Some folks seems more lucky and have fewer required "drop everythings" than others.

[i]despite not knowing any more about the situation and the nursery than could be suggested in a rant[/i]

To be fair, this isn't hora's first post on stw and regardless of what's wrong if the nursery phones and says 'come and get your baby' you argue afterwards, not before you've got him.

TBH though phil, he's hardly coming across as Parent of the Year at the moment, is he?

in the context of the rant alone... no he's not coming across as the msot caring father, but i dont know the man, the situation or what kinda day he's having to lead him into the rant... so i'm not going to judge 🙂

To be fair, this isn't hora's first post on stw and regardless of what's wrong if the nursery phones and says 'come and get your baby' you argue afterwards, not before you've got him.

i'd like to think i'd do the same, but having worked in a nursery whilst training as a nurse i'm aware that you get good nurseries and bad ones, there are ones that will offload kids at any opportunity, shame really cos there's usually a couple of excellent staff members but management makes the decisions and management tends to be away from the shop floor and more concerned with moneyz

to be honest guys i jsut dont like judging people until i've met them, then i'll judge them all i like 😆

you must be a bad father, look at how many people have said so despite not knowing any more about the situation and the nursery than could be suggested in a rant.

i bet your kids grow up to be criminals or something now

Yeah I know. My Father died last Thursday and my immediate thought was to ring his sister (estranged from him) to make sure she was ok and my Mother (also estranged from him).

The fact that he embodied all that was wrong in parenting and more didn't stop me from forgiving him either.

Back ontopic:
A few seasoned parents have told me first time parents over-worry whereas when you are on your 2nd/third you tend to chill abit more (UNLESS you've had a scare etc of course). That is different. Peace folks.

I'll do things my way. 8)

I ask as head of department in a school. When a teacher has to drop everything I/the school now has 30 nippers without supervision to sort. Sometimes colleagues can hold the fort, at others a supply has to be brought in at the last minute (£30 ph+ travel). Some folks seems more lucky and have fewer required "drop everythings" than others.

Kids are all different, as are their needs, as are their parents. I imagine you already know this given that you work in education.

This issue of time off at short notice for kid related shizzle is no different to covering sick leave. Identify where the likely problems are going to be and ensure you've got the appropriate emergency cover in place.

It's forseeable and only down to the management if there's no cover.

I'm with H on this, they are paid to deal with it. I'd ask if mine were sick or injured and if not I'd let the nursery/school get on with it.

Kids are way too mollycoddled these days.

[i]Kids are way too mollycoddled these days.[/i]

although, ironically, when I was growing up pretty much everyone's Mum stayed at home and looked after them - there were very few nurseries - maybe the odd one or two for 'pre-school' but none goign down to 3 months old.

So, on the whole a kid at nursery is less mollycoddled than it's parents probably were.

Both my parents worked. Although wrong I spent most of every day out.

We used to live on a road called Woodhouse Hill in Fartown and I often road my Strika down this road at speed. Once I decided to ride off to Brighouse and back knocking on doors to rehydrate.

I imagine I'd have been 6 back then.

how old is your son hora?

42

9 months. Just going through/ticking off all the germs.

This issue of time off at short notice for kid related shizzle is no different to covering sick leave. Identify where the likely problems are going to be and ensure you've got the appropriate emergency cover in place.

It's forseeable and only down to the management if there's no cover.

Well obviously it's foreseeable, and the larger the organisation to some extent the easier it is to have cover in place. A good school/company and committed colleagues will make sure the gap is papered over.

But I'm really talking brass tax here. Covering cost money - who pays? Covering at the last minute can put a lot of pressure on colleagues - is that fair? Having a child is a choice thing and comes with lots of responsibilities, and just maybe one of those responsibilities is to your colleagues and employer who give you the freedom to be a great parent. Can sometimes be a bit of a one way taking street in my experience.

no one has asked the age of siad nipper?
can nursery put him on the phone to talk to daddy before dashing over to find nothing wrong?

no one has asked the age of said nipper?
can nursery put him on the phone to talk to daddy before dashing over to find nothing wrong?

cancel that post overtook me!

Who pays future taxes that covers the wealthy state for the elderly later on convert?

[i]9 months[/i]

so you're not expecting him to be whizzing up and down the road on his push bike scrounging off the neighbours quite yet then?

If you don't trust the nursery why do you leave your child with them at all?

If you do trust them why are you complaining that they've phoned you?

Who pays future taxes that covers the wealthy state for the elderly later on convert?

I like this. Not sure what it means though. 🙂

Having a child is a choice thing and comes with lots of responsibilities, and just maybe one of those responsibilities is to your colleagues and employer who give you the freedom to be a great parent. Can sometimes be a bit of a one way taking street in my experience.

My wife has just picked one of our girls from 'nursery' (grandparents) as she had a raging temperature, rapid breathing, quiet and listless. She is just going to the doctors with her now and I have my fingers crossed it isn't the same thing she narrowly missed a couple of weeks ago but her twin sister came down with - she ended up in hospital for two nights on IV anti-biotics.

Put simply - if they have concerns they have to give you, as the parents, the responsibility to decide what to do with your children - just the same as my mother-in-law did a few hours ago.

Having a child is a choice thing and comes with lots of responsibilities, and just maybe one of those responsibilities is to your colleagues and employer who give you the freedom to be a great parent. Can sometimes be a bit of a one way taking street in my experience.

But isn't that true about people in general on a range of issues in the workplace? I NEVER ask permission to go early or take time where my boys are concerned - I tell my boss that's what I'm doing and tell him I'll take it as leave. Most of the time he 'forgets' to tell hr that I've been off co's he knows I'll make the time up (was in at 4.30am with the estates blokes shovelling snow a week or two back for example)

MF if its a temperature thats different.

Stop hyperventilating folks. Hes going to be falling off bikes and breaking bones before hes 10.

[i]Stop hyperventilating folks.[/i]

You started it 😉

Hes going to be falling off bikes and breaking bones before hes 10

Lol

We've just taken our daughter out of her first nursery, she was only in for a couple of weeks but my partner got a nagging feeling that things weren't right, just didn't seem like a very personal (or professional) service which we felt it should be.

We're moving her to a childminder who can only ever care for a maximum of four children and we're hoping for a more personal experience from that.

Had you considered a childminder over a nursery hora?

But isn't that true about people in general on a range of issues in the workplace? I NEVER ask permission to go early or take time where my boys are concerned - I tell my boss that's what I'm doing and tell him I'll take it as leave. Most of the time he 'forgets' to tell hr that I've been off co's he knows I'll make the time up (was in at 4.30am with the estates blokes shovelling snow a week or two back for example)

I guess this was the point of my first post on the subject. Some people(like you by the sounds of it) are lucky to be in jobs where you can take leave here and there or make time up and if you are not there your in tray just gets bigger but the world keeps spinning. A flexible approach to work from employer and employee and provided no one takes the piss everything is great. There are other jobs (teaching one of them) where if you are missing there is a genuine hole that has to be filled and that will either cost money or colleague goodwill. Should colleagues who either don't have kids or who have got emergency measures in place (grandparents on call in this case) take the heat for you? Should the employer pay out to cover you being missing or should the parent? No answer or opinion as such, just interested what others think.

Good idea. I'll raise that with mrshora as well.

Evidently you are just being trollsome Hora, if you dont care then why rant.. oh right I see 🙄

Who from STW is going to ring Mrs Hora?

"Hora's not himself."

"Thank Chuff for that; bring him home"

FFS - fingers crossing didn't work - my wife now en-route to the hospital with suspected pneumonia...

m_f - my thoughts are with you. (I'd say prayers but I'm an atheist...)

Mastiles - has her GP sent her there? She will get excellent care if she goes to Harrogate after 7:30 (when Mrs FD starts her shift)

I can see Hora's point to be honest.
We're lucky - we have a great nursery with great staff. Very sensible and pragmatic. A sniffle, snotty nose, little bit under the weather etc, and they will still take them and give them more tlc than normal. Obviously if they are proper poorly they don't go/come straight home, and we have to be flexible with work. And they have been fab during the snow - working hard to keep the nursery open as many hours as possible.
Brother-in-laws nursery - the merest hint of a sniffle, pimple, runny snot and they get asked to pick them up asap. And they have to miss days and day of work.

Good luck M_F. Hope it all turns out OK

Jesus, what a load of sanctimonious rubbish!

He said the child was crying not turning blue! If the staff can't distract a child "that isn't feeling themselves" then they aren't doing their jobs. We've had this in the past when we've been called because one of ours "has a bit of a sniffle" - well WHERE DO YOU THINK THAT CAME FROM!!?

If they really think a child is ill they shouldn't mince their words. Most parents will then drop whatever they are doing and go and collect their offspring because they know a problem exists.

well WHERE DO YOU THINK THAT CAME FROM!!?

hope she's ok mastiles.

I know my ideals are probably way out of date with most on here but I believe that an infant's place is with its mother - that's my prerogative and I don't intend to get into any arguments about it.

I work in a nursery/playgroup providing funded morning-session pre-school education and would not expect to have to accept an ill child, possibly requiring one to one care, into our group on school premises to enable his/her parents to fulfil their seemingly separate commitments. Parents (or other named contacts) are immediately notified in the event of any illness/accident and collect their child as soon as they are able - in the meantime, the child is cared for sympathetically both by staff and his/her peers (valuable social education 😉 ). There have, of course, been occasions when we have been presented with an obviously poorly child at the gates and when suggesting that maybe the child would be happier at home, we've been met with the reply "But I have to go to work" 🙄

Ever felt really cr@p, rough, hung-over, depressed, ill, scared even? Wished you could stay at home? Yeah, I know, most of us will battle through, go to work, fulfil those commitments . . . a young child has no commitments only reliance.

I know my ideals are probably way out of date with most on here but I believe that an infant's place is with its mother

your spot on in my view,i am a stay at home dad but even i have to admit that it would be better if it was mum.

the teachers at our school say it is obvious which kids have a parent at home.

not everyone can do it though.

good thought's and my best wishes sent your way MF.

I believe that an infant's place is with its mother

i am a stay at home dad but even i have to admit that it would be better if it was mum.

not everyone can do it though.

No, I appreciate that Nonk - I've no wish/right to judge and as I said my ideals are just that - a personal opinion based on my own circumstances.

i am a stay at home dad

Enjoy!! Papadirt was able to be quite involved with helping out at school, etc, etc, as he worked shifts and has some lovely memories of our boys' early years as a result.

aracer - Member

I believe that an infant's place is with its mother

Sexist

Sorry, aracer. In order to be politically correct I shall try to edit my post to read 'primary carer' 😉 (blinkin' jargon 🙄 ). Forgive me - I'm old 😆

aracer

well i guess that there are times when i just feel mum would do a better job usually when i have just lost my temper.

I believe that an infant's place is with its mother

Well each to their own, but our little boy finishes nursery in two days time (off to school full time after Christmas) having been there 3 days a week since 8 months.

We've had the odd tearful day but generally over almost four years he has been very happy to go and very happy to see us in the evening - as soon as he could run he would run in.

Our school teacher friends tell us they can tell whose been to nursery because they socialise better and learn faster at school - to begin with anyway.

Personal view is that there is no right answer; all children and nurseries are different; generalisations are dangerous.

Hora - lean to live with (love even) having to run around after your children; 'cos you're going to have to for a bit.

thats a good point igm.

ours did an afternoon in nursery twice a week from one year old.

you dont want em to clingy do ya.

Couldn't agree more igm and nonk - toddlers learn valuable lessons when socialising away from their [s]mothers[/s] primary carers 😉 but I still believe that a primary carer is exactly that, especially if the child is unwell.

Hope everything works out OK, MF - best wishes to Mrs MF for a very speedy recovery.

I believe that an infant's place is with its mother

I think this, however my wife is working 3 days a week and the twins seem to love nursery. We make every effort to collect them early and we are routinely the earliest collectors getting there for 4:45-5 if we can. Luckily our respective managers are very flexible. my wife also took 6 months unpaid leave after maternity so they didn't have to go into nursery as babies. It's worked out well, but I'd never like to be in a position where I was dropping a 9 month old baby off 5 days a week 8-6 as some people do.

and i thought this was going to be a rant about some manc garden nursery

i'll never understand why people have children, then ship them off to nursery FT (don't know if spawnofhora is FT though) when they are still babies

This is genius hora. The rumours are in fact proven to be true.