generally the breaders don't get it.
Generally people who wish to make themselves feel better by denigrating the choices of others don't get it, whicever "side" they inhabit.
Can't you just wrap your present? I've no interest in having kids but the snip is pretty extreme.
DD I quite understand people desire to procreate and have little things to dote on, it's just in modern society deciding not to bread is seen as failure either as you are broken medically or mentally.
Some people on this thread are hammering on how the OP might change his mind and he should wait and see, just in case but some of us just don't want to.
Yes mike, and some people make patronising comments, like, say...
have little things to dote on
Why not make your choice, be happy with it and not worry about what "everyone" else thinks.
Without going in to details I've been through a couple of scares in the past whilst using contraceptives. Another reason why I want this done
This thread has taken a sinister turn ...
Has it?
I think so, some are getting quite het up. I'm oot.
Has it?
Yup. I'm hiding under your bed.
Looking for Wordsworth?
you could always "take" your "business" "elsewhere"*
nudge nudge
wink wink
*crafty butcher
^^^not read all that^^^
A friend's wife has a heart condition which meant any unplanned pregnancy would be fatal, and even a planned one would require surgery first, and still be very risky. They discussed it and decided it wasn't worth the risk. He got referred for a vasectomy after explaining his reasoning; I think he would have been 30 or so at the time.
What is a "breader"?
What is a "breader"?Posted 37 seconds ago #
Hopefully they mean breeder.
Ah! Thought it was someone who slings dough around 😉
At 25 I was pretty sure I didn't want kids and I had considered having the snip - didn't have a hankering for someone taking a knife to my tackle but contraception is a pita. 38 now and 2 kids later I'm considering the snip again 🙂
I'd say consider it carefully but I can fully understand the "no kids for me thanks" sentiment.
Interesting thread, this. I'm both disappointed and reassured by some of the comments here.
I don't want kids. I've never wanted kids, and at 42 and counting I'm confident that this isn't going to change. People bring their kids into work sometimes; the (largely female) half of the office grinds to a cooing halt, my reaction is "take that bloody thing away from me" and I'll go and find somewhere else to be. I simply don't have the parental gene, there is no child-shaped hole in my life and the ever-so-predictable bleating of "but WWHHHHYYYYYY?!" isn't going to change that.
It's a similar reaction to the one I get sometimes when people find out I'm vegetarian. I've been veggie for over half my life, and in hindsight I never really wanted to eat meat even before I knew what a vegetarian was. So to suggest that I'm somehow in a massive ball of denial because I saw a dead cow when I was six or some other hokey logic, and that I might wake up tomorrow with a sudden craving for a Big Mac with extra bacon, is frankly condescending.
A couple of points:
1) Just because I'm veggie, or childless, does not mean that I expect you to be. You don't need to get defensive and you don't need to justify doing something different from me. You don't need to tell me how you couldn't possibly be vegetarian as you love chicken too much, triumphantly point at my leather shoes and tell me I'm doing it wrong, or try to persuade me that removing crayon from the carpet and baby sick from car upholstery is your favouritest thing in the whole world. I didn't ask you to do any of those things; you want 2.4 children you can take to a steakhouse, knock yourself out, I don't care.
2) Similarly, I do not have to justify my lifestyle choices to you. The answer to "why" is "because I want to." Do you honestly think that in the four decades I've been on this planet I've given less thought about my own life decisions than the 30 seconds you've just given it? Bog off and leave me alone.
I do take the point of course that any irreversible decision needs to be thought about very carefully. Having a foot high back tattoo of Walter White from Breaking Bad might seem like a fantastic idea when you're 18, but it's going to look like Michael Jackson's sat too close to the fire by the time you're 80. So comments along the lines of "I never wanted kids, but I changed my mind" are helpful. But you need to understand and respect that for some people "not wanting children" actually really is an absolute stance.
But you need to understand and respect that for some people "not wanting children" actually really is an absolute stance.
Sure, but the poster has asked for advice, so I'm assuming his stance isn't absolute and so the question is open.
Sure, but the poster has asked for advice, so I'm assuming his stance isn't absolute and so the question is open.
Did you actually read anything that he's written in the thread before presuming that?
Badnewz I was asking if anyone faced any issues with having their GP refer them. The question is certainly not open
Tsk,people that don't read the original post ,tsk
[b]Anyone had the snip without having children? Any problems getting your GP to refer you?[/b]
To all the people saying you shouldn't have this procedure done in your 20's and 30's but wait 'cos you might change your mind in your 40's.
You could apply the same argument to having children!
I've got no beef for those with kids, in life you do what makes you happy. If kids tick that box go for it.
I just couldn't think of anything worse, don't have enough hours in the day as it is. When someone unexpectedly tells me their having a kid it's just not something that even raises my eyebrow, my overall reaction is usually "meh"
Tell me you've got a new bike then I'm interested lol
I got a new bike for my kids to ride...
I'm in the no kids camp as well. 34, wife is 29 and a teacher and between the 2 of us there is not a single parental desire. I do quite like spending time with my niece but am very grateful when she departs. If I could have the snip without surgery I would but I'd rather keep the surgeons knife away from that area thank you.
No probs getting the referral from the GP here. Referred to another GP in town who does them under local, in the clinic rather than hospital job. Maybe three days of manageable pain with no bike for a week, no riding for two. 😉
Opted for mine after my third child, felt the family was complete. If I'd felt it was complete before the first, I'd have happily gone for it in my twenties.
No probs getting the referral from the GP here.
Having 3 kids puts a different spin on it - The OP is questioning the GPs attitude to him and his situation & choice, and I can see he might have a slight issue as the GP has a duty of care to explain it is considered non reversible. I think age has a large bearing too.
Of course the obvious question is why aren't you just asking your GP?
Got snipped in my thirties, now late forties and absolutely no regrets. I'm in a different relationship now to the one then, which at the time seemed to be a permamant relationship. But still no regrets. No difficulties with health professionals; they asked questions, accepted the answers.
Procedure done at hospital under general, had some bleeding and swelling after so must have been a bit rushed. Otherwise fine, then one morning my 9kg cat decide to jump onto my lap as I woke and sat up in the mnorning. He landed right on the critical zone. I wasn't impressed.
erm, changing your mind is physically very easy, vasectomies OTOH are pretty tricky to reverseYou could apply the same argument to having children!
No experience to add. Just noting that it isn't my business but I can understand how you'd feel that way. I'm your age.
Again just to note, in my OP I state I have my GP appt. In 2 weeks where I'll be asking my GP, just wanted to know about any potential questions/hoops I'll have to jump through with the Dr.
I've already had an op down there under local so doesn't bother me. Smarted a bit when the surgeon started cutting and the anaesthetic hadn't fully kicked in!
Can they refuse?
If they do I'll have to look at going private
I was just bemused that you think you might be refused. I had a look at the NHS website and it says:
Can I have the operation if I am single?
[i]Yes, but if you are under 30 you will find many surgeons are reluctant to do it in case your circumstances change and you regret it later.[/i]
I also noted that:
[i]Long-term testicular pain affects around one in 10 men after vasectomy. The pain is usually the result of a pinched nerve or scarring that occurred during the operation. You may be advised to undergo further surgery to repair the damage and to help minimise further pain.[/i]
But really it does sound like you go see your GP and a few weeks later it's all cut and dried… 😉
Ha!
To all the people saying you shouldn't have this procedure done in your 20's and 30's but wait 'cos you might change your mind in your 40's.You could apply the same argument to having children!
erm, changing your mind is physically very easy, vasectomies OTOH are pretty tricky to reverse
Not as tricky as getting rid of the kids you had in your 20s or 30s then decided you didn't want in your 40s.
If they do I'll have to look at going private
Going private for your privates, eh?
*walks off whistling*
soobalias
eventual stumbling block was the wife - no idea why, but shes dead against it? bought shares in durex instead which is my pension plan.
you can get condoms free from your GP or family planning clinic.
just seen this.
i have to say that i entirely agree with houns's stance on the matter, and have just been lazy/busy/worried so not spoken to my GP about it yet. i am 10 years older, but have never wanted kids and i know i never will. i think i'll give the doc a call tomorrow...
I'm 50, always knew I didn't want kids. Started asking for the snip at 21, no joy in Liverpool. Moved to Scotland at 30 and straight in no worries. Some of my mates have kids and some of them are wee shites, some are great and one or two I love. But Ive never regretted my decision for a heartbeat.
When you're being repeatedly punched in the face by your "carer" in a old people's home, because you've shat your pants again, then you'll regret not having kids.
Won't the pain be worse for knowing your uncaring kids put you there?
I'm a GP. I'd check you were sure, make sure you knew the risks, then refer you... Same as if you had had kids actually...
Why would anyone wait till your contraception had failed to allow you to have the snip?
rureadyboots - Member
When you're being repeatedly punched in the face by your "carer" in a old people's home, because you've shat your pants again, then you'll regret not having kids.
Not really as with all of the super cheap holidays we can afford we will be in a posh retirement home somewhere sunny staffed by playboy bunnies
I say plough your own furrow mate, if you feel this way then it is your choice, and possibly your right.
I would ask you in the spirit of conversation/discussion to rise to my challenge, can you answer/rebuff/comment on these statements/questions? (I'm sure you can, but it would be nice to know..)
1) None of us really wanted them, not really...
2) What happens if you fall in love (which is not the same as "progressing a relationship") and she wants kids. I would do anything for my wife.
3)The best things that happen to you are often initally percieved, and prejudged, as the worst things. Do you want your life to be that predictable?
4) I think it's going to be lonely when you are older.