[Closed] No kids & Having the snip

from my perspective
1) some of us actually mean it
2) doing something you don't want for somebody else sounds great but it should be a joint decision, been there had the conversation and we moved on with out lives, happy now with the decision
3) should we all go round running into walls, jumping in front of cars and doing an entire "Bottom" episode just in case it turns out to be amazing
4) why would you be lonely? on a planet with so many people you will always find people to get along with

and to quote Cougar

So comments along the lines of "I never wanted kids, but I changed my mind" are helpful. But you need to understand and respect that for some people "not wanting children" actually really is an absolute stance.

those who get drunk and forget about contraception.

Yes, that covers just about all people with children that never wanted kids but changed their minds.

Apologies, I should have made it clear my post was aimed at the OP, Mr Houns.

Phew that's gone a bit ... Houns, just crack on, you'll be right the GP up there ^^^ says so. And weirdly I think I am Cougar, word for word 😯

make a couple of deposits in a bank before you get the snip

make a couple of deposits in a bank before you get the snip

Now that is an excellent idea.

Mrs. C and I made the decision not long after we met that kids weren't for us, we like the freedom, flexibility and lack of pressure in our life that children can have a massive influence upon. Some 10 years later it's still the right decision as we are happy and have our dogs as our dependents which suits us. Having just turned 40 and Mrs C being 46 it's unlikely to change so very interested in this thread and to see how Houns gets on as it's been on my mind.
+1 for Cougars post.

+1 for Cougar's post from me too.

As a 32 year old female, I can't get a tubal litigation. So speaking from experience as a childfree woman, yes, it is difficult. But the "aww, but you'll change your mind" bingo gets chucked at women probably more than it does men, because we are seen as being more emotionally volatile and subject to the whims of our biology. My GP was shocked when I talked to her about sterilisation and I hadn't had any children. I was tempted to ask her which rock she'd been living under the past 20 years, and did she know how many people were choosing not to have children these days?

However, fortunately for me, I can take pills/shots/have an implant to have control over my own fertility (or, preferably, lack of it). Men can be subjected to "the oops" and therefore, for a childfree man who wishes to remain so and have an active sex life, whether inside a committed relationship or casually, or whatever floats your boat, the only way to make damn sure of it is to have the snip. There are women out there who will use a guy as a sperm donor and then sting them for child support 9 months later, and there are women who change their minds and either engage on a long and tiresome project to bring their reluctant partner around to the idea of having a child, or just go for the "oops" option and assume that "he'll love it when it gets here".

If you've had the snip, then you won't get the long and tiresome "babies are great" project because you don't have the capability. Therefore, she will go away and find someone else to produce a baby with. If a one night stand turns up 9 months later with a baby, well, the joke's on her and she needs to go on Jezza Kyle for a DNA test. And the oops option, unless for some unlikely reason the snip didn't work, or grows back together, is also not going to happen.

So yes, I absolutely understand why the OP would want to have the snip done.

Just seen this thread pop up again. I'll have a read through the latest posts and respond later, but for now just wanted to thank LMP above for your thoughts

Best of luck Houns.

I do understand what some people are saying about it not being reversible, but having a kid is not reversible either and I think people forget that sometimes. Once you are a parent, you are responsible for that child. I know some walk away, but they might still get an angry adult on their doorstep one day, and more than likely, the CSA will tap your bank account every month whether you wanted anything to do with that child or not. Despite all the precautions I take, I could get pregnant tomorrow. I still have the choice about not going through with it. A man does not have that choice.

In the end, the kids suffer from having a parent who doesn't really want to be a parent, and they are the innocent ones. My mum was an oops baby, conceived to try and save a failing marriage/reign in a straying husband, and it didn't work. The emotional scars left from that situation are many.

Houns, let me make myself clear, I support you to have the right to choose. I only asked those questions because I am interested in the answers from a learning/discssion point of view.

My choice to have kids, is mine only. As is yours, so I cannot cast any aspersions on your choice.

But I would like to know what you think of my points.

In the end, the kids suffer from having a parent who doesn't really want to be a parent, and they are the innocent ones

LMP this is an excellent point and has been related to the declining crime rate in the USA. Since the introduction of Roe Vs Wade, more unwanted preganancies are teminated and less kids are brought up as unwanted, unloved, unfed no hopes, so less of them are driven to crime.

[url= http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legalized_abortion_and_crime_effect ]wiki link[/url]

In the end, the kids suffer from having a parent who doesn't really want to be a parent, and they are the innocent ones

And let's be clear, that happens to plenty of kids that were "wanted" as well.

Unfortunately, it does darcy.

Have the snip as you have made up your mind. Your body so do as you wish. No regret.

No need to increase the gene pool because one less will not affect the world population.

I think there should be compulsory snip for certain people for their own good and the society.

🙂

I think the ironometer in the basement just clicked into life. I must go and check it.

I think there should be compulsory snip for certain people for their own good and the society.

I can't think of anyone better to make this point.

cynic-al - Member

I think there should be compulsory snip for certain people for their own good and the society.

I can't think of anyone better to make this point.

Yes, but let me populate the gene pool instead. 😆

Well, saw GP today, he was fine, just made me aware that there's no return once done (on the NHS), asked if I'd considered other options then just made me aware of the risk (general operation risks).

Just a case of sitting by the letter box waiting for the appointment to come through

I would ask you in the spirit of conversation/discussion to rise to my challenge, can you answer/rebuff/comment on these statements/questions? (I'm sure you can, but it would be nice to know..)

1) None of us really wanted them, not really... [b]never have, never will want them. Numerous reasons why[/b]
2) What happens if you fall in love (which is not the same as "progressing a relationship") and she wants kids. I would do anything for my wife. [b]i have ended relationships in the past due to the fact that the other person wanted children. The subject comes up in early stages of dating so easy to go our own ways[/b]
3)The best things that happen to you are often initally percieved, and prejudged, as the worst things. Do you want your life to be that predictable? [b]one of the worst things for me would be to get someone pregnant, so yes I'd like it to be predictable[/b]
4) I think it's going to be lonely when you are older. [b]be rather selfish of me to want children so I have company when I'm older. Not a great reason to have children really is it?[/b]

5) You might change you mind. [b]I know I'm never going to change my mind[/b].

And a local saying, "il n'y a que les imbéciles qui ne changent pas d'avis.

Snip finally done this morning. Sat here with an ice pack on my nuts and no pain (yet)

All went well bar some pain when the anaesthetic for the right testicle didn't go off, just felt like someone was flicking it.

Was done about 5 hours ago and no pain or owt yet, I am expecting it but so far seems to have gone a lot better than anticipated

I'm not near Houns, but if anyone is, can they kick him in the balls, please.

The ice pack is in the way 😡

It has to melt sometime.

*puts on winklepickers*

Or winkiekickers

You won't be saying that when you're picking them out of your winkle.

Jaffa Cake, anyone?
[img] [/img]

biscuits? nah, cooked breakfast would be more apt..
[img] https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQJbm7HE-cKKu26k3ecdueSGX6OQpwz_McU2oMOuvdxGcXlrzs1 [/img]

then again
[img] https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTQwLmNSu-XtZhVURb4ZGHiWn2iHi_BserNn-unSZ0kr9AZ8gXm [/img]

Well done I wish I was that brave.
At 43 I have no intention of ever having any either but am too much of a chicken.

Sat here with an ice pack on my nuts and no pain (yet)

[img] [/img]

All went well bar some pain when the anaesthetic for the right testicle didn't go off, just felt like someone was flicking it

You may be fine now, just wait for the itching when your pubes grow back 😳

Knowing Houns, he'll have been as smooth as an Oakley's lens down there as a default.

You know you could have just bought a really cheap saddle and put some more miles in right?

As Jamie said, no extra shaving needed down there. 8)

Right, 2 days later and no pain or discomfort. Could quite happily go for a bike ride (could've done on Wednesday) but have been banned from doing so by Miss Houns (who is a Nurse). So another day with my feet up drinking beer and watching the cricket.