[Closed] Nicknames - any good ones?

If we are on sport ones, Dai Young Welsh prop known as Only the good 😆

I used to have a pal nicknamed 'Neck'. His surname was Payne. Payne in the neck. He was, too.

I used to know a girl known as "Eggs".
During an amorous interlude she and her fella experimented with fruit and veg, and eggs.
Cracking idea! A trip to casualty was involved.

Some good ones at work:

The guy who was hard to get hold of: Bin Laden
The guy who was always sat down: Ironside
The guy who lost a finger in an accident: Fingers
The fat manager: Boss Hogg
The fat bloke with the surname Hutton: Jabba the Hutton.
The sales guy who had to be first at everything: Aaron Aardvark

I just forwarded this thread to a friend, who gave me this contribution:

Mate of mine started work with me years ago. Before his first shift he asked what to expect. Only advice was chill, but you'll have a nickname based on something you say day 1.

He didn't say a word he didn't have to. End result - "the mime"

I think most of my friends still refer to each other by nicknames 20 years after we all left school.

The best being 'Cautious' - reason being that on the night he popped his cherry his girlfriend caught him filling up his used prophylactic under the bathroom tap to check for leaks!

My brother was called 'The Goat' at uni. His best mate was called Chops, when handing stuff round it always used to be 'want one Chops?', he was a Manc, Paulo Wanchope was Man City striker at that point, his strike partner being Shaun 'The Goat' Goater. Henace 'Chops and The Goat'.

Fella at work a few years back had the worst limp ever, one leg shorter than the other by a couple of inches. When he walked, his head would rise and fall by a good 3-4 inches. He was known as The Snipers Nightmare.

i know a girl who went round a group of friends of mine giving everyone a dose and is now referred to as 'the penis flytrap'

We call a lad at work Zulu. For that fact he is so slow and an hour behind everyone else.

I had a young Irish assistant called Arron. He was soon given the nickname "Chinese Allan" then just "Chinese".

Then I overlooked a trainee and his surname was Battman. He was a bit useless so was given the nickname "Boy Blunder"

First night of Fresher's week at university, talking to new people and making new friends, one of the guys in the group I was talking to suddenly loses grip on his pint and sloshes a load onto the floor. Spillage! shouts out one of the lads in the group. To my knowledge, he's never done it again yet 28 years later it stuck and is still what he's known as by everyone.

Another mate is universally known as Sharky. He reckons it's because he used to be a big hit with the ladies (which in the Uni lingo of the time was 'Sharking') but really it's because his initials are SH and it stands for S H's a right C**t, yeah.

My favourite is a lad I used to play football with who was reknowned for not being overly choosy about the aesthetic quality of the ladies he'd go home with at the end of a night out. He became known as Gravy, because gravy goes with anything.

My nickname is / was Shilts because I played in goal and have curly hair like his bubble perm from 1986. For a brief period after someone recalled the event when he was caught shagging a girl several years his junior in his car that nickname became Peter Pedo but thankfully it never really stuck once we became sensible enough to realise that a/ she wasn't that much younger than him and b/ calling your mate Pedo on a night out isn't funny or safe.

Another friend of mine is called Milk. I think he got the name allocated after eating a carton of Dich Milch (or similar) yoghurt on holiday. Consequently his next girlfriend (now wife) is called 'Yogsie' (Yoghurt). When on a bus with Yogsie and his brother they drove past a shop sign proclaiming 'Milk, Yoghurt and Bread', his brother is now known as Bread. His last house was named 'The Dairy' too (the name plaque was a wedding gift from one of my other mates).

Ugly chap at work nicknamed 'Isaiah', 'cos he had one eye a bit higher than the other.
Another known as 'three dugs' as his name is Bob Glenroy.

A bloke at work is called Guess because on his first day n
when asked his name he said Guess. It's stuck for 25 years.

Had a foreign guy at school called
Paul Luskinois.........

Well with our school boy humour ...it was soon changed to "Pull your loose skin back"
Another bloke called Chris Lamb.....of course we called him Larry
Till one day he he kicked the biggest kid at school in the nuts during PE.....in the changing rooms he was shitting himself....as the big kid was yet to enter...and we all was chanting..."mint sauce...mint sauce "" he got a proper hiding...and a new name ...minty...ha ha ha...great days!!

Mate is 'Tumble', surname Dwyer.

This is the best thread for ages PMSL here, 'Tumble Dwyer' FFS!! 😀

Fella in my work was telling me about an acquaintance in the shipyards called Campbell Baxter, aka Two Soups.

My halfwit brother had barely started primary school when he earned the nickname 'mowgli' no doubt due to his mop of a hairdo.

Occasional riding mate is called "Handbag". In the summer he's the first to get tanned, a bit leathery, and we end up carrying him all morning.

The lads at work are brutal with nicknames, these are to everyone's face, not behind their backs.

One lad who has an aversion to washing: Dirtbag.
Another with the mankiest, smelliest, rotten feet you've ever seen or smelled. He wore flip flops into work one day, it was questioned how he kept them on his feet, so was named "Two Toes".
A short, round, heavily bearded, miserable git: "Gimli".
An inbred local, looks like a redneck: "Billy-Bob".

Some of the others would result in the Ban Hammer being swung.

A bloke at work has been known as Omar for years, his surname is Gould.

Another one is an instructor called Plimsol, he's a crap trainer.

1st time I went to Les Arcs with TA I was put into a group that included a couple of lads, one "Bob". He was quite a handy rider, esp compared to me

Turned out he was "Bob Gnarly" 😀

Diesel. Standard nickname for those who lack 'spark'.

A woman at work is referred to as Lego Head on account of her very straight fringe.

Also had a boss with the surname Miller who earned the nickname Windy because he could never make a decision.

Two lads who are inseparable in our office are called Pat and Paul are now known as Bat and Ball because you never see one without the other.

We had a few based on appearance. Pinhead had a bizzarely shaped small head, and eventually evolved to be known as BJ... as in "a little head"
"Wingers" was another one with protruding ears, "Dump Truck" was a bit of a fat knacker, and so named after the Sumo wrestler and "Moose" wasn't the bonniest girl in the world.

Others were named after personality traits or habits. "Snorker" had a nervous tick which involved a noise which made him sound like he was hawking up phlegm, "W-w-wiggy" was bald as a coot and stammered, but also had the surname Wigglesworth, so a bit of a three-in-one there. "Dobber" liked scrapping.

"Shakey" was completely spineless, absolutely useless if not dangerous in any form of physical situation, but one of the more topical ones at the time was "Scud". Named after the missile, it was because he was universally unpopular. Apparently you could see him coming, and there was **** all you could do about it.

When I was living in NZ, the 'local' policeman living in Hast was a lovely guy and about six and a half feet tall. His nickname, known by all, was Stretch.

"Dobber" liked scrapping.

Obviously, Dobber means something else where I live.

I'd probably lamp someone who called me a Dobber TBH.

When I was at school, a "dobber" was a large marble.

Got a mate called "boxofrogs" self explanatory...

Hilarious.. Just hilarious.

😆

A short-sighted mate used to be known as "Buddy Yamaha", from his time labouring on building sites as a youth...

Glasses on = Buddy Holly; glasses off = caricature Japanese man.

Excellent thread!

On basic training:
Gimlet was a boring tool.
Leatherman was a useless tool that everyone carried.
A mate of mine was Ahab because of his penchant for spearing whales.
D the C was Dave the c***.

Lad at school was very proud of being in the Sea Cadets. He had an extremely round head & it was remarked upon that in his sailors cap he looked like an egg in an eggcup.
This caused him to go absolutely mental, so in reference to the popular flyspray of the day (being deadly) he became Mafu Egg.
Great fun was had pretending to sneeze in class "ma..ma..ma..MAFU!!" and he'd lose it big time, desks going over etc.
Cruel buggers we were 😆

Commonly known then as "throwing a Benny", after the bobble-hatted shitwit on Crossroads as I recall.

Or, less politically correctly, "having an eppy." Simpler times.

Our female HR manager was referred to as 'Nanna Lips' because of the face she pulled when giving talks.

Good friend piled his bicycle into the back of a very sensible Scandavian estate car on the way to school and opened his forehead on the name badge on its boot lid, requiring a couple of stitches. He still answers to the name 'Ovlov'.

Probably of RN origin, but the navigator on most yachts I've raced on is usually known as Vasco, after Vasco de Gama. The tactician and helmsman together are usually known as the Aft Heads.

Which reminds me of a story a former Royal Marine I sailed with told me about why the Falkland Islanders were known to them as 'Stills'.

Our HR manager is called 118, because she always gives you an advice line to call instead of dealing with it herself.

Which reminds me of a story a former Royal Marine I sailed with told me about why the Falkland Islanders were known to them as 'Stills'.

Coz' they're still "Bennies"

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My excitable calamity prone cousin was (unimaginatively) known as coco at one work, no biggee there but when he got a landrover his colleagues surpassed themselves by giving it the moniker 'coco's grassbox'

I just remembered another creative one.

A mate of ours (let's call him pete, because that's his name, and as it turns out, is highly relevant) had a girlfriend who by everyone's opinion was an absolute bunny boiler. Constantly moaning and complaining and making things duifficult for all of us. She was nicknamed Elliott*, because that's the name of Pete's dragon.

* maybe not to her face.

He still answers to the name 'Ovlov'.

I've got many many nicknames, but i'm not mentioning them on here, I hear enough of them! 😆

Few of my favourites of my mates are Gump(don't actually know the orgins, but it's obvious enough), Maddog(justified, once saw him scud a guy in the face with a fish supper one time, genuinely one of the funniest things I've ever seen) and the Shoodermonkey (shoulder monkey) (try chatting a burd up with this **** in the vicinity and you'll understand! 😆 )

The railway has always been a good place for nicknames, two of my all time favourites are Vidal Raccoon (the guy had a big ol' bouffant with a white streak running through it) and Telly Saliva (because he looked like Telly Savalas if Telly Savalas only ever ate pies, drank mild and smoked roll ups).

An old workmate who is incapable of doing anything quietly is called Caps Lock.

Bloke with disproportionately short legs in relation to his torso is called Cut And Shut.

Colleague with the initials KC found themselves lumbered with the moniker KFC after someone inserted the middle banhammer-worthy word whilst ranting about them.

A bloke at work who comes in the messroom and never speaks is called Sooty (he's also a steam railway enthusiast so it works on both levels).

A guy at college used to just hang around with us and never said much. Noone knew who he was so he was called Hover and it just stuck. He might still be called it now.

we had a bloke like that too...... Limpet