[Closed] Next door's dog shiting on my patio

4. Add some of your own as "interest"

4.

4, obviously, because:

- when it arrives in your garden it's in a small, neat, tidy, scoopable and easily lobbed package

- when it arrives back in their garden it's a hand-grenade explosion which covers the washing-line, the barbecue, the backdoor handle, the shed windows, the kids' toys, the trampoline, the patio/decking

Spray it about, man!

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Balls!

5. Wrap said offending curly wurly in a newspaper, take round to neighbour's front door and set alight. Ring door bell and retreat to safe distance whilst neighbour opens door and stamps said parcel out!!!

I hope it is next doors...

Some cats, badgers and foxes can make a hell of a mess sometimes...

sure it's dog crap? It's unusual for dogs to stray from their normal shitting place. Cats like to bury it so it's unlikely it's one of them, foxes are quite happy dropping where they feel like, is that a chance?

edit: fox poo looks a lot drier than dog poo normally but is the same size.

zaskar - Member
I hope it is next doors...

Some cats, badgers and foxes can make a hell of a mess sometimes..

Not to mention inconsiderate humans.....

Fox shite is soft and very smelly like cat crap, but they do it in the open unlike cats (e.g. on my lawn). Dog crap isn't usually that soft. I think I may know too much about shit.

First speak your neighbours about it, so as not to put there backs up. Then maybe add some trellis to your fence to add height to the fence, to stop it jumping over but still be able to see through it to say hi to your neighbours.

oooo u is scary 😯

6. Acquire larger python.

Ask said neighbours whether they have any poop bags or scooper as there is a dog dump on your patio.

Make sure it doesn't do it again by using some sort of spray deterrent. This usually has lots of citrus in it which pooches dont like. Dogs normally sh1te in certain areas so using a spray will put the dog off sh1tt1ng there. You will need to spray this regularly for a while.

I'm a dog owner and my dog would regularly crap in the next doors neighbours garden much to my horror. I'd pick this up and dispose of it, apologise and let her know that if she ever found any to knock on my door and let me know. Luckily we get on and she likes my dog.

In the end though she put up a gate to block access as she is keen on her garden. Problem solved.

I'm sure if you let your neighbours know that this has happened they will be mortified. Simples.

Of course as you sound a bit tense you could always take the largest kitchen knife round and kill the whole family before setting fire to the property to hide your crime.

Nico "Dog crap isn't usually that soft" seems pity soft to me when stuck to tyres or frame even worse end of your nose or camelbak nipple. Before you knock on the door you need to make 100% its their shit machine , hang back and see if it happens again could be a 1 off but upsetting next door could bring years of agro

6. Acquire larger python

Bugger, beat me to it.

Front wheel of my roadie bike manged to spray dog shite up my leg the other day, thought it was a lump of mud a wiped it off. Directly after i wiped the sweat off my forehead, obviously i then noticed the smell & still had to get home to clean up. eeeewwwwwwww

As much as i love dogs their sh1t stinks.

fizzer
i've had similar probs
all our front gardens are " open plan " ie unfenced and the old bag that lives across the road with her daughter and hubby lets her lab and scottie crap on my lawn, caught her at it a few times

last time i donned a rubber glove, picked up the shit, rang her door explained that i was slightly pissed with her lack of attention and then promptly dropped the crap all over her front door

less to say she was most appologetic and now knows ill be on the phone to the council enviromental health team in seconds if it happens again

i tried the softly softly but the get in there and take your crap back approach seems ...so far .... to have worked

Go and crap on there patio/lawn.
If they confront you about it,just tell them your returning the compliment left from there dog.

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Invite them round for a Korean themed BBQ.

I do no. 4 but make sure it lands on their car. I tried asking them to stop the dog dumping on our lawn,but they see it as easier than clearing it up off their own.

I have heard them pondering how the dog is crapping on their car though! 🙂

Catapult the shit back at their windows. It may take ages before they understand the relationship between their dog pooing and their windows covered in poo but who cares.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, if it is their dog then I do think they could be liable to have a visit from someone in authority as they are not keeping their dog under control.

Mind you, to get anybody in such places to take notice is another thing as we have recently found out when we tried to get help regarding a puppy farmer/messer 👿

They probably aren't even aware it's doing it and would probably be mortified to find out.

Pop round, explain that you think this is what's happening & would they mind keeping an eye on the dog when he goes into the garden to see if it really is him that's doing it.
You'd look like a bit of an idiot if you storm round there all guns blazing & pepper the house with dog cak and then find out that it's another dog.

Gotta be the old dog poo in burning newspaper trick outside their front door.

Wrap dog poo in newspaper, set it on fire, ring door bell and run. Whoever answers will see the fire and stamp it out. 😉

My first thought if it happend to me is, would I really need to post on an internet forum to ask what to do?

But then I bothered to reply so there you go!!

Just report it to your local council community safty partnership team ASB Manager, an ASB officer will visit you to investgate it and probably install CCTV and issue log sheets (which you can use to pick the shit up with!!.

Many happy hours can be spent re-delivering said dog-eggs once you have acquired an old sand-wedge.

To mine clear my lawn prior to mowing I have a specially designed tool. A garden hand trowel on a 3 foot piece of springy hazel. you can flick a turd a good 50 metres with it. Over time you will develop an understanding of the finer points of turds and what flies best and what self destructs when touched. I know this doesn't solve your problem but it might help with the disposal.