[Closed] Neighbour noise!

What i have garnered from this is that you are complaining about approximately 1 in 40 nights bad sleep? More chance of getting woken up by a fire engine/ambulance/police car surely?

Lol, 6 parties in 10 months? Woe is you.
Get a grip or go live in the middle of nowhere.

tbh, if we were having a broken weekend one in six times we'd be pee'd off too, especially if there's no warning.

What i have garnered from this is that you are complaining about approximately 1 in 40 nights bad sleep? More chance of getting woken up by a fire engine/ambulance/police car surely?

Indeed, or about 1 in 7 saturdays..

Lol, 6 parties in 10 months? Woe is you.
Get a grip or go live in the middle of nowhere

Thanks for the comments, I will be trying to

We lived through this crap at our last place.
Trailer trash neighbours who alternated between load shagging and even louder fighting (sometimes in the same evening)
The final straw was him chucking her out at around 2am, and her breaking back in via the front window with a shovel.
I called the cops after she threatened me with it, and they took her away.
When she was released she came back and scratched 'PAEDO' across the bonnet of his car with her keys.
a week later she'd moved back in and was driving around in said car.
Our house was on the market a month later.

Its not the same as a fire engine is it? The fire engine doesn't stay outside your house from 9pm till 3am honking its horn. Plus I don't object to losing my sleep when someones life is in danger, but when someone chooses to keep me awake becasue it's fun.
It's mean. I would never do it to my neighbours.

We lived through this crap at our last place.
Trailer trash neighbours who alternated between load shagging and even louder fighting (sometimes in the same evening)

We've had similar, drunken arguments from them, he's taken off in the car after a skinful, heard him pushing her about whilst pregnant too.

He's an arrogant bully.

Just paints a bit more of a picture of who I am dealing with.

This is about your race prep?

Have you tried shouting:

"On Your Left!!" or "Podium Rider" or

"Straaaaaaavaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! at them?

I'm sure that would help them understand the gravity of the situation.

Edit: :lol:, still, once it's got to you , it's got to you and will continue to be a ballache until you get it sorted. Good luck.

realise I have lost their goodwill, they have lost mine after the first informal chat about it to be honest

I personally would go round with a bottle of wine, a smile and a "sorry I was a bit short on the e-mail, I was a bit tired" and try to talk to them again. You have nothing to loose so it's worth a shot. It may go against what you think is right (why should you apologise to them and not the other way round) but if it helps it is worth biting your tongue. And please, don't send any more e-mails, that is a sure fire way to wind them up more and get them firing up the stereo.

I suspect all those saying variations of "Live with it" would (or do) behave in a similar manner themselves.
Whereas those that have a more sympathetic view of the OP's situation may have suffered with noisy neighbours.

I'm in the second camp.

Loud music/party noise is not unavoidable in the same way that a crying baby is. I've been kept awake by both (when I've had to be up for work at 6) and I managed to have sympathy for the parents of the upset kid.

To those saying "just live with it", out of interest; where do you draw the line with antisocial behaviour?
If someone caused some purely cosmetic damage to your car by parking badly in a crowded street (and kept quiet about it) is that ok?
Bonfires in the middle of a lovely sunny day when you're out in the garden topping up your tan?

Si

I personally would go round with a bottle of wine

To those saying "just live with it", out of interest; where do you draw the line with antisocial behaviour?

I've been a noisy neighbour (still am occasionally) and I've been on the receiving end of noisy neighbours more than once..

It's about communication and being err, sociable (the clue is in the word).. You discuss behaviour with your neighbours, in a neighbourly way, work out what works best for everyone.. it's when the discussions become unfriendly that you have a problem..

Expecting everyone to simply conform to your own ideals is a bit myopic..

Expecting everyone to simply conform to your own ideals is a bit myopic..

This is twaddle, since when was it an ideal to want a decent nights sleep? I don't care what you do as long as it does not interfere with my life, make as much noise as you want, as long as it doesn't wake me up thats fine.

I'm alright Jack.. 😆

You'll be glad you're not my neighbour then.. cos I treat folk as i find them, and you sound like a right herbert 😀

"Expecting everyone to simply conform to your own ideals is a bit myopic.."

What, like the idea that other people don't matter as long as I can make as much noise as I like whenever I like? 😉

Thing is, we're not talking about not being able to park right outside your house or something along those lines - we're talking about stopping someone sleeping. It's just ****ing rude IMO.
Maybe I just value my sleep too much.

Out of interest, if this was a work night, would you say it was still acceptable? (I'm not being argumentative, I am genuinely curious).

Si

"Expecting everyone to simply conform to your own ideals is a bit myopic.."

What, like the idea that other people don't matter as long as I can make as much noise as I like whenever I like?

U wot mate? like I said.. It's about communication and compromise innit..?

Basic principle of social interaction..

No worries, give me your address and I'll pop round and randomly wake you up.
You might call me a herbert, but if you are happy to party the night away and keep your neighbours awake then you are an ignorant person with little consideration for others.

My desire for a decent nights sleep does not stop you from partying, just don't do it where I can hear you, what exactly is wrong or selfish about that?

it's difficult to compromise on a broken nights sleep though? You either have one or you don't.

you're missing the point kids.. some people 🙄

We get the point Yunki, we just dont agree with it!

we just dont agree with it!

where do you draw the line with antisocial behaviour?

Shots fired or family member being kidnapped.

Yunki, you seem to think it's ok to interrupt other people's sleep so that you can have a noisy party and that people that want an uninterrupted nights kip need to compromise.

Where does the compromise on the part of the noise maker come into it.
Surely that would be something like "Ok, we'll make a note to keep it down after 12" or something along those lines.

You seem to be of the position that "compromise" means "come round to my point of view".

I'm sure the neighbours that kept having parties and keeping me awake also thought "Ha! he's out of luck with us as neighbours, blah, blah!"
However their landlord didn't like being woken up by a ringing phone any more than I liked being on the phone to him.
The noise stopped and we now have much more reasonable neighbours.

Si

we just dont agree with it!

So you don't agree with reaching a compromise that suits everyone?
You believe that everyone should just agree with you!?

I don't believe you

err.. and Si and the dbcooper..

Surely that would be something like "Ok, we'll make a note to keep it down after 12" or something along those lines.

Yes, this is exactly what I'm advocating.. I think you may have missed your medication today 😕

I think there are socially acceptable limits to noise, and you should seek agreement to go beyond these

[i]So you don't agree with reaching a compromise that suits everyone?[/i]

But you haven't explained how you can 'compromise' a late night party in a suburban semi with neighbours who want a full nights sleep?

Are some of you having a laugh or what? Being loud enough so your neighbours can hear you* at any time is not on, especially when you know they could be trying to sleep.

I would be mortified if any party I had would be loud enough to wake my neighbours, especially if it was 1.30!

I don't see how it matters how many times a year it is either, it shouldn't happen.

*excluding doing noisy DIY or something like that in the middle of the day.

My parents have the same problem, so I sympathise strongly.

I really don't see how people make the decision to have a late night, loud, drunken party in a semi-detached or terraced house, then think they have a right to do so... go to a pub like normal people.

Really Yunki?

Ok, so you're not going to answer any of my points just insult me?
Fair do's. You've definitely convinced me you're a reasonable person and your opinion is worth something.

<By the way, that's not really true>

Si

wow

I'll repost the comment that seems to have caused you fellas so much distress, just to clarify..

err, which part of this idea is it that you find confusing?

It's about communication and being err, sociable (the clue is in the word).. You discuss behaviour with your neighbours, in a neighbourly way, work out what works best for everyone.. it's when the discussions become unfriendly that you have a problem..

Expecting everyone to simply conform to your own ideals is a bit myopic..

Where does the compromise on the part of the noise maker come into it.

I suspect all those saying variations of "Live with it" would (or do) behave in a similar manner themselves.
Whereas those that have a more sympathetic view of the OP's situation may have suffered with noisy neighbours.

I've had noisy neighbours and dealt with them by talking and engaging them. I did this as I hate loosing my sleep, I'm a horrible person with no sleep and get very angry very quickly. I also think people will help more if you talk with them and engage with them instead of just calling EH or e-mailing them. As mentioned above, your race is something important to you that you want to do, their party may mean the same to them. Our discussions ended with them agreeing to let me know a week or 2 in advance when they were having a gathering and me not knocking on their door before 1am earliest. This has, in the last 2 years meant only once did it go later than 1am and a quick text saying "any chance or turning the tunes down?" resulted in the stereo being off 10 minutes later and an apologetic text the next morning.

Oh, and don't bring crying babies into this. Our old neighbours had twins that cried pretty much every night for 6 months which was then followed by a discussion between the parents as to who would deal with them. We then had our annual gathering that was a touch loud and at 11pm they knocked on the door. I was not happy.

hora

You could also wait until the noise stops, wait an hour then knock them up. You need bigger balls to do this though.

Not that kind of party?

I read threads like this with a feeling of dread, having been forced to move house when violent drug dealers moved in next door with loud parties, Police raids, 24 hour dealing and lurchers that whined and an alsation that barked all night. Dread because if it happened again we would have to move, our nerves couldn't cope with a second episode.

Finishing a party at 1.30 (still plenty of time for everyone to get some sleep)

I would be calling the council before then - OP is more tolerant than me I think. I would discuss with neighbour first though.

I've also recently moved out of a rented flat due to noisy idiots.

Parties/house music until 7am every weekend. Sometimes twice a weekend. Occasional violent arguments. Initially talked to them and they were apologetic, but it carried on. Contacted council, they sent a letter, then my car got vandalised. Council wouldn't monitor noise due to the arguments. Rang police, they never came.

Eventually moved out.

Kept landlady informed of everything, she's now selling the flat.

Neighbour also sold up.

This was all a few months back. I'm actually training in law at the moment, and tempted to sue him for my lost rent and deposit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuisance_in_English_law#Private_nuisance

It tempting to say this is "only noise" but honestly, it ruins your life while its happening. I used to dread the weekends, because they'd almost certainly involve confrontation, stress and days without sleep.

It's shit when you have to live with it and IME any neighbour who does this cannot be reasoned with as someone reasonable would not do it in the first place

IME one of you has to move

For occasional things I would expect a notice of when and then go visit someone- my neighbour likes loud films he does this Tuesday as he knows I ride and wont be in

Finishing a party at 1.30 (still plenty of time for everyone to get some sleep)

Unfortunately sometimes I (or more frequently my wife) don't get the chance to lie in the next morning because we have to be up for work. I'd give people until midnight, then ask them to turn it down.

As was said earlier though, it's not actually the noise that keep you awake, it's the feeling of being annoyed and not being able to do anything about it. I live in London and noise at night is definitely something that comes with the territory, but it won't be too much longer before we move out somewhere nice and quiet with any luck...

It's about communication and being err, sociable (the clue is in the word).. You discuss behaviour with your neighbours, in a neighbourly way, work out what works best for everyone.. it's when the discussions become unfriendly that you have a problem..

But the antisocial behaviour was from the neighbours, they didn't communicate with the OP, how could he have dealt with not being told something differently?!

Had this before the divorce - next door were ignorant and their eldest more so to the point that him babysitting meant a full on house party till "whatever O'clock"
Cue him and multiple friends threatening physical violence over the fence, stuff thrown into the garden, etc.
CCTV camera front and rear solved the "it wasn't anything to do with us....." as his parents couldn't deny the damage.
They still didn't stop going out when ever they felt like it though and leaving him/sister to babysit.
Half a dozen friends who are all serving police/military solved the threats one evening when he thought he was being a "man" hammering on the front door with 7/8 of his mates after being asked to turn it down for the 6-7th time that night.... There's never been a party since.
Unfortunately it had taken 17 parties that year to reach that point, with police visits, arrests, etc before it stopped.
There are certain people that only understand/respond to certain "methods".

This actualy reminds me of a friends birthday party at Uni.

Probably 30-40 people in an average 5 bed semi, a few of us still sat out in the garden talking shit at about 3am and a neighbour from the house behind comes round completely off his rocker with rage, starts grabbing peoples pints and throwing against the wall etc etc. Once he's run out of beers to smash we point out to him that the noisy party is actualy coming from the (non student house) 2 doors up.

Him: you f* studnet know it all smart a holes, think you know everything

us: are you going to buy us some beers as an appology?

Him: your all the f***** same

us: what, as opposed to the other residents having loud parties or miss directed 3am shouting matches in the back gardens?

him: I'm calling the police

They never showed up, we never got our beer.

But the antisocial behaviour was from the neighbours, they didn't communicate with the OP, how could he have dealt with not being told something differently?!

that post was in response to someone asking me (as a live and let live neighbour) what I would consider anti-social behaviour.. quoting it out of context is a bit misleading..

I did mention earlier in the thread though, that the OPs approach could have been regarded as a little bit unfriendly