So what's the norm then? And at what age? And how did people that know you well react?
I'm 31 and to be honest, maybe it's just the last year that has changed me emotionally, but certainly I think differently about a lot of things now. I see lots of older guys suddenly getting tattoos and piercings, new wardrobes, a motorbike, a flash mountain bike, or whatever it may be, and in a way I can understand it now I think, cos I can't stop thinking I've become too predictable, too much of my own stereotype, and too bloody boring if I'm honest!
I'm not looking for ideas by the way, just keen to understand what has driven people to suddenly re-invent themselves in a way as an adult, and how they chose to do it, and whether they cared what anyone thought or not. And is it just me feeling the need to rebel as an adult, cos as a child I was pretty bloody tame, the worst I ever did was to get drunk a couple of times underage...
So who's gone home one day to their wife/husband/BF/GF covered in tattoos, wearing leather, riding a motorbike then? Or something similar... ๐
The thing is,
I've always expected it to be your second childhood. I turn 40 in about three weeks, and I'm still enjoying my first.
I'm still waiting for my mid-life crisis and I'm 53. I'm taking that as good news!
You need to wait another decade before the worry of your midlife crisis kicks in (unless blokes in your family die young)
I couldn't even start to tell you.......
I'm thinking of settling down, having kids and pushing for that board level job for my MLC.
Aren't they just for people who 'think' too much, who are a little too introspective, who worry about who they are or how they should be doing in comparisson to their peers. For those that really just aren't confident in themselves, who ultimately aren't happy?
already covered in tattoos and piercings, might actually go the other way during my stint of middlerage and become a townie, watch football and read the sun.
Think it's a bit of mythe! In my 30s left my wife and lived in a flat above a chipy. Changed my job. Started mountain biking when I couldn't climb anymore. Then changed job again, moved away. Didn't ever think I would have kids, met someone and had a little girl within a year at 40.
The point? I think we don't stop changing, don't suddenly begin an existence that defines our life from then on. My mate summed it up, am about to lose my job and in talking to him about it and saying I regretted taking a tempory contract he said something ... Every job is temporary! Looking forward to being a house husband and not having to take my little girl to the child minder every day. If the mid life cricis exists then I have had about 4!
I bought a fast and racey bike.
Also had a fling with someone 15 years my junior, my defence is that she started....
I had a rough period around 30. I'd started to feel myself ageing. Didn't do anything weird though. By 32 I'd decided that feeling older didn't matter - you can still live (it up).
41 today and it hasn't happened so far.
Had some serious psychiactric problems a couple of years ago, but all is good now ๐
In my opinion if you think it is going to happen then it will. However, if you accept growing old for what it is then it won't.
I reckon MLC (if they exist at all) are mostly people doing what they've wanted to for a while, now that their kids have grown up enough not to be scarred by their dad riding a harley, looking like tazzy ๐ , or whatever
Happy Birthday Ho Hum! ๐
You share a birthday with Baby Bullheart. Cool!
I fully intend to Grow Old Disgracefully. I started over twenty years ago. ๐
Happy birthday Ho Hum. ๐
Happy Birthday Ho Hum!
The thing is, I've always expected it to be your second childhood. I turn 40 in about three weeks, and I'm still enjoying my first.
Haha nice one. I've definitely already spent too many years in adulthood, so much so I'd had enough and have gone back to uni already. Problem is, nobody else wants to party! Seems I'm the only one... ๐
I'm thinking of settling down, having kids and pushing for that board level job for my MLC.
๐
Do it... That's so conformist it's actually non conformist! I like it...
Being serious for a moment now though, it's weird that now I've been single again for a while, ive actually thought that I may want to get married and have kids in the future. Something that never occurred to me really even only 12 months or so ago. Odd eh!
already covered in tattoos and piercings, might actually go the other way during my stint of middlerage and become a townie, watch football and read the sun.
They wouldn't notice the irony sadly tazzy, the sun is however worth a read once in a while anyway... If only to remind you that your life isn't as pathetic as you thought it was! ๐
Now, from someone with experience, do I start with the piercings or the tattoos? And where first for maximum ability to shock my friends? Is it rings in the nipples, or a massive mural on my back to start?
A James, you make an excellent point. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing...
As you get older it sort of dawns on you where you've been and what you've done. I think a mid life crisis is where you look back and recognise there were some things you never did, and then you do them. Each decade you will change. It's a fact. Once you get into the 30/40 stage many very serious things are likely to have occurred. Reflection might result in a rebellion... It might not.
Personally my reflection leads me to think my life has been pretty interesting, I am waiting for this mythical crisis but actually consider myself to have had one regularly throughout my whole life.
Live it and love it.
However, if you accept growing old for what it is then it won't.
TBH seriously struggling with this bit, the inevitability of a bleak and futile existence followed by a slow decline into waiting for the random chemistry of the body to fail seems a bit too much.
I reckon MLC (if they exist at all) are mostly people doing what they've wanted to for a while, now that their kids have grown up enough not to be scarred by their dad riding a harley, looking like tazzy , or whatever
Hmmm... I'd never thought of it like that, but now I have it does make sense.
Worrying the bit about secretly wanting to look like tazzy though, you'll give the man an ego!
No tats, but I have been riding a Motorbike since I was a kid. I quit my job at 44 and went back to Uni. So is all that a midlife crisis? - not any more its not.
Society no longer accepts the idea of a job for life, and the working week is 24/7. I now get to enjoy the company of like minded folk, and love the challenge of life long learning. I have also gotten to sit down and have dinner with my family almost every evening, something my previous role virtually ended. We may be poorer in the short(even long term), but I don't care - I get to sit and eat dinner with my family, chat about the day and am a hell of a lot more relaxed - mid life crisis!, Nah! just a wake up call to take hold of the day and be better for it.
Already been there and done that a long time ago tazzy...
Needs to be more shocking! ๐
Mid life crisis?
I'm still not out of that diffcult adolescent phase...or so I am told.
i started a new band. then another one. hadn't been in a band since 1990
i started a new band. then another one. hadn't been in a band since 1990
What do you play John? ๐
mboy i always thought so much more of you, probably through a musical impression, so disappointed your so boring ๐
All things are relative timc... I'm judging myself by my own usual high standards you will note, not those of anyone else... ๐
I think you have to have led a fairly boring existence before anyone notices if you have a mid-life crisis. I've always had dodgy old sports cars/motorbikes/bikes and as I've given up chasing women..............oh! maybe that's my crisis ๐
even your reply is boring, get a russia bride and tour the USA & be done with it 8)
and too bloody boring if I'm honest!
Stop being so honest then!
Glad that's sorted.
Tattoos and piercings? Never understood the need; I'm happy with what Mother Nature gave me thanks.
I'm also waiting for this fabled mid life crisis, however since I have everything I need and I'm fit and healthy I can't see the need for that either.
I nearly bought a motorbike last year but then I realised I had nowhere to store it so dropped the idea.
I've bought 20 motorbikes in the past 3 and a bit years... i'm not sure if any or which of them count as my mid-life crisis... i'm hoping none of them as i just like bikes... i'm planning on buying a Porsche for my mid-life crisis whenever that is ๐
I'm 42 and have been having one for 10 yrs i think...
But 42 is the new 21 isn't it?
I've been accused of going through one this year after I split up with my fiancee at the end of last year. In the last year I have a few more tattoos, been in two bands, taken to acting like a teenager on the weekends (I'm 31) and purchased what friends refer to as my boy racer car. I also bought a new bike, but that's just normal ๐
I think it was more a case of having some spare money for a change!
It all settled down at the end of August when I met my new girlfriend, but it looks like thats over and done with now, so who knows what the new year will bring!!
Biggest crisis fo rme is trying to balance teh difference in libido between me and the missus! seems to be going in different directions, but there's nothing new in life about that.
Seen some really messy results of "midlife crises" in the past. Have your flings with material goods is all i'll say!
My first mlc was the sudden realisation @ age 39 that i was chronically unfit & that i had to so something about it as 40 was just round the corner. Bought a BSO from Halfrauds & got my fitness back. Eventually bought a real mtb & started riding off road, i now ride as much as i can & i'm fitter now than i've ever been.
My second mlc was at 48 i was diagnosed with skin cancer which was a big shock & it made me realise how short our life on this planet is. I had two operations & now 2 years on my remission continues. I cherrish everyday now & try to cram in as much as possible. I'm far more relaxed about work & life in general, i'm more mellow & don't let things stress me out. No tats or motorbike yet i'll see what santa brings me this year.
For me the key to my mlc is being happy, relaxed & content with life.
I see lots of older guys suddenly getting tattoos and piercings, new wardrobes, a motorbike, a flash mountain bike, or whatever it may be, and in a way I can understand it now I think
I can't stop thinking I've become too predictable
So to avoid being predictable, you think you'd like to join in with what everyone else is doing?
Does not compute.
Dave
I think having fun through biking keeps you much younger physically and mentally than the sedentary lifestyle that most people lead. That and not taking work too seriously.
I've just been on biking holiday with my Dad who is 65, bikes well upwards and DH, likes a beer afterwards. Not much difference between us except he drinks more beer and goes to bed earlier. I plan to carry on in the same fashion and feel no need to inject further spice by having a fling or buying a sports car.
Mid life crisis are things tedious people have. As if they need some justification for doing something they actually enjoy. Normally in the most boringly predictable fashion imaginable. Oh look - another accountant on a Harley!
Normal people call it 'living'
Binners - I've messaged you on Facebook re a possible ride over xmas.
A 'crisis' is what other people call it.
The reality is you reach a time in your life when you have a raised a family, have a roof over your head & food on the table and actually have the time/money to think about yourself for a change.
might actually go the other way during my stint of middlerage and become a townie, watch football and read the sun.
I thought tattoos and piercings were all the rage for football watching, Sun reading townies? They are around here.
Too young to have had one yet (35).
Broadly, aren't they just a timing issue - you get to an age where you have the money to do the things you couldn't do when you didn't have it?
I know someone whose 40 yo/o husband has just been found out putting himself on a "dating" site for casual how's-yer-father. It's always the quiet ones you have to watch..!
when I hit 35 I gave up my (very fulfilling) life of drugs booze anarchy and mayhem and settled down with a nice wifey lady in the countryside to raise a family, bake cakes and ride bikes..
I'm 55 & still love riding bikes, flying kites & model Heli's so still a big kid really! No time for a crisis hopefully.
I had mine in my mid/late 20's, though in reality it was more of a crisis of confidence that led me to do some pretty stupid stuff. 40 now, and much more settled and happy with myself ๐
Mid life crisis are things tedious people have. As if they need some justification for doing something they actually enjoy. Normally in the most boringly predictable fashion imaginable. Oh look - another accountant on a Harley!
Normal people call it 'living'
Haha, that was the way I always viewed it Binners, definitely that kind of thing is ridiculously boring and predictable.
To be honest I'm more on about doing a few things I've always wanted to, but none of my close friends or family would understand. Something that more boring or mundane people would confuse for a crisis certainly, which is kinda the point I was getting at. It would just be me doing a few things (probably unexpected by people that know me cos I've never chatted about them with them) that I've wanted to do for a while I suppose. Lack of funds might preclude most of them for some time to come anyway, but never mind...
Oh and I'm not talking motorbikes, or flash cars, or another woman or anything like that for myself. Had a string of quick cars when I was younger, these days ability to get bikes in and be cheap to run is way more important. Have also had motorbikes for years anyway. And I'm single, so would be hard to have a bit on the side!
I don't think the 'midlife' thing is as stark as it used to be - there was a time when you got married at 20, had kids and then hit 40 seeing the kids grow up and question what you actually achieved in your own life as it felt like your job was done.
Nowadays people have far more life experiences (travelling etc) then get married later, have children later and probably feel more fulfilled as a result. And no-one bats an eye at a 40+ fat bloke on a mountain bike whereas a couple of generations ago that same bloke would have been working all hours and then going home/to the pub to relax in what time he had left.
Mid life crisis? I call it an awakening.
One day you look around you and realise you have been squeezed into a life you didn't choose. You look at the dispirited old grey men in your workplace and realise that once they were like you.
I remember the day well. Came back from lunch, did a bit of work, looked around at the dogm, and it hit me. I gave it half an hour's objective thought, packed up my personal stuff and walked out.
Best thing I ever did.
I aim to make a similar sudden resolution every few years. Keeps life interesting not knowing what you will be doing next year.
