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So,
When at home or anywhere without a urinal and in need of a pee I sit on the toilet. Logic being less splash back. Anyhow the teenage boy is peeing in the toilet this morning as I walk past the bathroom and it sounds like someone hosing the place down. Turns out he's a stander when he pees.
Asked him if he could sit as I'm the mug who has to clean the bathroom. Bit odd as we've taught all three of the boys to sit on the toilet when peeing. He's obviously decided that's not the done thing anymore.
Just wondered what the general modus operandi was for the men of STW when having a pee in a toilet?
Stand up. Only time I’ll have a sit down wee is when I’m sitting to do ‘the other thing’ and usually one follow the other
Stand unless too tired or drunk*... Or I'm having a poo.
* got told off by the GF for pissing in the bath tub when drunk/suffering from morning glory, hence why I now sit, but do sometimes still piss in the bath tub when she's out because I'm a rebel.
Stand - why would you waste time sitting?
I'm 50/50 on sitting or standing when peeing. Definitely less chance of splashback when sitting, and who doesn't enjoy a good sit down?
Night time, sit down. Daytime, stand. If I fail to get this the correct way round I may need a boat to get to the toilet in the morning.
don't think i've ever sat down to pee specifically... i think it's weird.
Stand-up unless:
- drunk & in need of a sit-down
- going in the night & don't want to turn the light (and hence extractor fan) on
- need a wee while my 5yr old daughter is taking 35 mins to brush her teeth in the bathroom
I only sit if it's night time and I don't wanna put the light on, or post coitus.
Let the boy spray, but teach him to wipe up after himself, the animal.
in need of a pee I sit on the toilet
Freak.
Men evolved to wee when standing up, it makes us more manly. Stand up and be proud of your masculinity.
Yep, stand unless it's night time and I don't want to switch the light on.
If I sat to pee, my cock would be dangling in the water
...depends if I have any text messages to reply to or a game to play! 🙂
I only sit when I'm pretending I need to poo in order to get ten minutes peace from the kids and girlfriend.
My life is quite pathetic, really.
But at least I'm not sitting down to pee every time, that would be really pathetic 🙂
I stand and use the opportunity to blast any fecal stickers away.
Goes to show how we all grow up with different ideas as families as I didn't even realise it was even a matter for consideration: always stand up (aside if its late at night and I don't want to turn the light on)
At home - Sit. Standing up piddling creates a horrible mess which is both unfair and downright disgusting.
For those that stand - Cover the toilet and floor around it in toilet paper in the morning and collect it an night. It'll all be damp and stink. Why would you want that or to trample it around your house?
I'm of an age where I sometimes need to get up in the night. I keep the lights off to give me a fighting chance of getting back to sleep, so sit to avoid pissing all over the floor. The rest of the time stand.
I've never had an issue with splash back in a domestic toilet. Urinals? Different matter - don't wear light keks.
Standing up to pee is one of the perks of being a bloke. See also not having to queue for public loos like the ladies do and being able to do it in various outdoor locations without dropping your pants to squat.
scotroutes
If I sat to pee, my cock would be dangling in the water
See, that's weird. Taking your pet chicken to the loo with you when you need to go?
I suspect the male stand to pee or you are no man approach might also come from most men not doing the cleaning!
For reasons I now forget we had paper on the floor around the bog. Could not believe the spatter patterns even a well aimed jet generated.
But......is that not what the sink is for? Stood up, the old chap flopped over the rim, no aiming, no splashback - nice and relaxed. Until you get caught obvs.
Not PC, but one of the first insults German boys learn for each other is Sitzenpinkler
I stand up and make sure it all goes in.
I like to experiment with angle and aim for silent running at night. Get a plash then edge it over until silence as it its the porcelain at the perfect angle.
Nothing wrong with a sit down though.
As an aside our dog loves licking all the stray piss up from the bathroom floor. It's his happy time! 🙂
For reasons I now forget we had paper on the floor around the bog. Could not believe the spatter patterns even a well aimed jet generated.
Yip, first time you wear a kilt and hoik it up for a piss is quite a surprise.
I quite like a posh wee, especially when it's quiet at work. I can pop in the cubicle and read the news plus comment on STW threads. I am a regular pooper so never need to go at work, so take full advantage of a wee break.
I never sit on urinals.
Bit odd as we’ve taught all three of the boys to sit on the toilet when peeing
What a bizarre sentence.
Isn’t the odd thing not teaching them to wipe any spills they might make?
– need a wee while my 5yr old daughter is taking 35 mins to brush her teeth in the bathroom
Tell me you're joking!!
Stand of course! Who sits down in the shower?
Never pass up the opportunity for a nice sit down.
Think of it as a luxury China cruise.
Always sit unless I'm using a urinal. Mainly for a chance to sit and think of nothing for a few minutes and secondly I don't like cleaning the bathroom afterwards and when at a fiend's house it's just common courteously to not leave evidence that you are a slob.
So looks like I'm definitely in the emasculated minority here then.
Yep, stand unless it’s night time and I don’t want to switch the light on.
+1
Also stand whilst watering the lavender, never bother going inside if need a wee when in the garden / workshop.
Sitters - if you unleash a powerful jet and you've not angled the dangle correctly, do you not occasionally get splashback through the gap between the seat and the loo?
this
As a youngster I didn't even lift the seat , my pee stream was so accurate but would never try that now
Anyone else have a bashful bladder? I need no one near me before I can go doesn't matter how bursting I am, maybe need therapy
I like to experiment with angle and aim for silent running at night. Get a plash then edge it over until silence as it its the porcelain at the perfect angle.
It’s like pouring a beer. Tilt the glass and pour onto the side and it’s a lovely quiet smooth beer. Aim straight down into the water and half of it turns to froth.
"OI ... ITS NOT A BLOODY STABLE !! "
Aim for the porcelain just above water's edge .... who doesn't know this ??
Middle of the night/ first thing of a morning sitting .... don't have to worry about aiming in the dark/gathering your thoughts for the day
Piss sonar at night
Stand, obvs. For both.
Since my proctectomy I've been unable to piss sitting down for some reason - just doesn't come out so stand up it is. Before then it was either or, whichever took my fancy...
Standing at all times. If it's dark use the force...
If I sat to pee, my cock would be dangling in the water
You need to get a plumber in to see to that overflowing toilet of yours.
Standing. As some one said above adjusting aim, spray pattern and blasting the last dirty buggers poo off the side can be quite satisfying.
Always give him a little wipe, and the toilet seat afterwards just in case of splatter.
I'm not a fan using urinals though, so I'll often use a cubicle in a public place, but they can be mankier than the urinals.
At the place I used to work at, they had these stickers in all the toilets.
Am I weird in that I've never even thought about sitting to pee?
Sounds like a good idea at night though.
The older I get, the more I sit!
Anybody else get into a plank position, knees on cistern, let it dangle? Make sure you're warmed up and loose before attempting.
Always give him a little wipe
Agreed.
No one wants the Spot of Shame
Am I weird in that I’ve never even thought about sitting to pee?
During my 50 years on this planet, Its never crossed my mind either.
Reading this thread, I don't think it's us that are the weird ones though 😀
Sitting's a comparatively new thing to me, used to be just to avoid putting the light on at night but over the last few years during daylight hours, free spirit that I am, I do whatever I feel like at the time.
Sit. But I see it has hinge training.
If you boy is anything like mine - if he sits in the morning he's likely to spray himself in the face. Testie level 1000.
Oh those were the days.
In my opinion the biggest mistake we made as a society is the flushing throne. If I've learned anything from years of camping its that we are adapted to squat to shit, stand (as men) to pee, and the two should be done separately, that way there's not really a need to flush away valuable resources to pollute the environment.
Stand. Unless I'm having a poo, then I'm already sitting and the thought of sitting - dropping a poo - stand up - wee - sit down - carry on with poo don't bear thinking about!
Since about 20 years ago, sitting.
Iake the weight of my feet, less chance of spray, no need to put light and hence fan on in the middle of the night, apparently (IANAD) better for long term urinary tract health....
I don’t think it’s us that are the weird ones though
The truly weird ones are the ones that put one hand on the wall, or both hands, or their forehead.
I have lost count of the number of drunk men I have seen, absolutely drenched after doing that in these toilets...
The Tunnel in Glasgow.
Those are sinks TJ, no wonder everyone’s getting in a pickle.
Usually a stander but the occasional sit down piss is a fundamental pillar of the art of workplace indolence.
Never even thought about sitting
Stand up - it’s in the Bible apparently... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qo3o4nfiG7A
Sit obviously.
Standing is for slobs who never actually have to live with the consequences. (Ie Clean it up)
I was a stander that had never considered seated male peeing as a thing until my children arrived.
A number of thing happen when you have small children.
1. You're more tired and grateful for the chance to sit down.
2. Curious toddlers like to try and catch your flow - sitting excludes this kind of risk.
3. You spend a lot more time in the bathroom with small children - see point 1 and 2.
4. I was made redundant in the credit crunch and swapped roles with my wife so I took on the cleaning. Theres nothing like getting up close and personal to your own dried piss-splash residue to make you realise how unsavoury and wide spread it is.
5. Sitting to pee extends the quiet time I get in a busy house of active teenagers and a dog.
In a similar scat vein, I remember being astonished hearing Chris moyles and his similarly unfunny posse talking about arse wiping
Most of them wiped sat down, so they'd take a dump then tilt their arse to allow access and then wipe on the toilet. There was one guy who, like me, said this was extremely weird and stood up to wipe. He was regarded as a weird exhibitionist who probably walks around the house naked etc
WTF!!! I remember this blowing my mind at the time. Surely everyone stands up to wipe? What is up with people? Is it uniquely British to be ashamed of pooing or something?
Why TF would you stand to wipe? The bog seat spreads the cheeks fully so all tagnuts can be dislodged.
Why TF would you stand to wipe?
He's probably some kind of a weird exhibitionist who probably walks around the house naked
Standing to wipe is bizarre as above... The sideways lean lets you in for max wipage.
I'm blown away with this apparent consensus, apparently I live on the fringes of society then
And yes I sometimes do wander around naked, in the house, what of it? Does that make me Buffalo Bill?
As an eBiker I’m clearly inherently lazy so obviously I sit to pee. Conversely, I stand to wipe, possibly a hang over from being a proper biffer when I wouldn’t have been able to get my hand into position because of my ample rear.
am I the only one who finds it a bit creepy and american to use the male pronoun for referring to one's membrum virile?
Sitting to wipe? Mind blown! Do people really do that? All that leaning and cheek lifting and contorting, it's an ergonomic disaster.
Every day is a school day, but some days you learn stuff you wish you hadn't.
Sitting to wipe? Mind blown! Do people really do that? All that leaning and cheek lifting and contorting, it’s an ergonomic disaster.
Every day is a school day, but some days you learn stuff you wish you hadn’t.
I'm the same, my life can be divided into 2 parts: before this knowledge, after this knowledge
– need a wee while my 5yr old daughter is taking 35 mins to brush her teeth in the bathroom
Tell me you’re joking!!
He's probably exagerating slightly, nobody needs more than half an hour to brush their teeth.
Feel better now?
Always give him a little wipe, and the toilet seat afterwards just in case of splatter.
Never put your tools away wet
If I sat to pee, my cock would be dangling in the water
you should probably get a plumber round to rod the drains...
scotroutes
If I sat to pee, my cock would be dangling in the water
Ooh waters cold
Yeah ..deep as well😉
(Not used that one for a long time)
In 48 years I had never realised that men stood to wipe. I feel both disappointed my education/ facts of life chat missed this out and also disappointed that I never considered experimenting to check out the option myself. Changing hands was about as radical as I've gone so far. I will give it a go next time the turtle's head emerges and work out if it's for me or not.
I will give it a go next time the turtle’s head emerges and work out if it’s for me or not.
TBF I think even standing wipers do so after pooing rather than at the start
All we need is the secret incantation that makes every chod a magic poo. That way there's no wiping needed.
Or this:
http://viz.co.uk/2014/09/24/clag-gone/
Stand to wipe! WTF.
Maybe that explains some of the oddness I've noticed at the back of toilet seats at work. How the hell do you sit and wipe without getting your hand/wrist of forearm on the toilet seat?
I really like going al fresco, so liberating to squat and enjoy the view. In that instance I probably half squat to wipe 🙂
Sitters – if you unleash a powerful jet and you’ve not angled the dangle correctly, do you not occasionally get splashback through the gap between the seat and the loo?
Judging by the mess that the females of my house make through that tiny gap, I don't think it's just a male problem. It's genuinely puzzling how much splashback they get under the toilet seat, and by extrapolation, their arses*. And that means that I'm not solely responsible for any spray around the toilet base.
*Presumably the sitting males on this thread will cleanse their backsides carefully of this urine aerosol, and not just pull their trousers up and stride away?