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Joint. Can't see the point of anything else.
When married, joint account for bills etc and equal amounts to separate accounts for personal spending.
Living with partner and respective kids - joint account for household bills but separate accounts for less of other reasons. Large household expenses are addressed jointly.
Individual spending is our own so my watches and sports stuff v online shopping. No arguments whatsoever!
April 1990, the day we got our house, got married October same year. Works for us, probably not for everyone.
Our wages go in to our individual accounts and we then pay in to joint account which covers the mortgage and household spending. Above normal spending is agreed and more funds are then transferred to the joint account.
Since we had a baby I pay 75% so we're both left with similar amounts in our individual accounts. Having individual accounts make it easier to keep in control of spending without asking each other constantly if we can by new shoes or bike bits.
Mrs CD had some money issues when she met, she now doesn't have a credit card, I trust that she isn't going to run off with our money but I neither of us trust that she won't spend what we don't have.
Joint account since we were married(27yrs),after bills,most gets spent on our kids and fun things.
Works for us.
16 years with a joint account. Priority is the kids and house so it made sense to us that everything is shared equally even if one earns considerably more than the other.
IMO separate accounts just muddies the water.
Had a joint account - caused arguments.
Now have separate accounts, mygood lady tells me how much she wants each month to cover stuff and I give her it.
No more arguments - which is nice.
We have separate accounts but as I had an offset mortgage current account when we got married it was tricky to change. But all our money is ours really as money just gets moved between accounts to suit, I earn twice as much as her, I pay all bills, I set up savings, investments, pension whilst she buys clothes ... lots of clothes.
One issue I haven't seen mentioned in this thread is how to deal with saving for the future and pensions. Do people sort that out jointly or just rely on each other to do the right things?
It's not that straightforward though is it? Depends on the relationship dynamic, if kids are involved, salary rates etc and if the partnership is a patriarchal dictatorship of a bygone age or not.
One issue I haven't seen mentioned in this thread is how to deal with saving for the future and pensions. Do people sort that out jointly or just rely on each other to do the right things?
You can't have a joint pension...
It makes sense to maximise tax relief, so if you pay tax at 40%, make maximum payments to that person's pension as you get 40% back.
We both have company pension schemes, so each pay into those as we both get employer matched contributions.
We're one family unit so the money all moves freely between our accounts. Wages and customer payments go into our own accounts, bills and almost everything we buy comes from the joint, which we fill as needed.
Both of our wages get paid into the joint account each month, bills all come out of that joint account, then money for "living" is moved to a different account we can both see then usually taken out and held as cash in the house. Then in an attempt to maintain the illusion of independence we both get the same x amount a month "pocket money" that is not accountable moved to our own individual accounts. Whatever is left after all these deductions goes to savings.
We stick with this regardless of who is earning more at any given time.
separate - when i met my wife she was a credit disaster, county court judgements, the lot (CCJ not [i]really[/i] her fault other than ignorance to be fair)
As I was in the process of buying a house we may have fibbed about cohabiting and the mortgage was applied for and granted to me alone. Remortgaging, once we were married, i didn't need to use her salary to get any extra so didn't. Hence all the mortgage, and the associated endowments to pay it off are in my name still.
We just haven't got round to having a joint account since, but given I pay all bills apart from the pet insurance - it's her dog she can pay for it - and then give her a housekeeping allowance every month for food and stuff, we don't really need it. What she earns she keeps, what's left for me after the bills and HK is mine. We 'share' discretionary expenses thereafter.
I even pay for her PCP on the car (another historical one)
Hang on - I'm being mugged monthly here aren't I 😉
Not married but.....
A joint account into which we both pay an equall ammount each month to cover mortgage, bills and savings, and the rest is our own.
Worked well untill I lost my job, and she still has her old flat which will likely be sold next year. So at some point soon I'll run out of (personal) savings to pay into the joint account, and she'll have a chunk of money to pay off about 25% of the mortgage.
So far it's worked well because it means there's a buffer in my savings that I can manage before it becomes a household issue. And I suspect what will happen is we'll switch to paying in proportion, she'll pay more in the short term, and I'll catch up when we have kids.
been together 10 years, but not married (mrs has been married before, and has no interest in doing so again!). no kids on either side, hoping to have a kid in near future. don't know that that'll do to finances..
we have a joint account to cover mortgage, food, bills. we each put in the same each month. (she earns a good chunk more than me). as i work near a supermarket i do most of the shopping, so i'm the only one that spends the money and keeps an eye on it. she doesnt even know the PIN for her card.
so we have a roof over our heads, and bills, food covered..
all other money is left for us to do whatever we like with. thats mobile phones, cars, petrol, toys etc..
so i'm saving for a new car, (which in turn will save me money long term) then a new bike (as a reward for saving for the car of course!) 😀
To answer the OP then...
...just do what feels right to you!
😀
Hang on - I'm being mugged monthly here aren't I
Yip!
patriarchal dictatorship
Sexist!
You've not met my wife then?
I've never understood the separate accounts thing.
I've never understood the joint account thing. We opened one to put cheques in that were addressed to both of us (towards our honeymoon etc.). I now put some money into her account each month (I work, she does a bit of childminding but primarily looks after our kids), but that includes fuel/food money that she has to manage.
I'm not always the best in the world with controlling my spending, but she's on another level, and there's no way I'd have a joint account with all our money in it.
20+ years together, not married, separate accounts. Whoever earns more pays proportionately more of the shared outgoings. It's all 'our' money, we don't need permission from each other to buy anything, the big stuff gets discussed & agreed as necessary. Works for us.
Pretty much the same here, only over 10 years, because we're two people and not a homogeneous mass.
It seems a lot of people here are moving money between personal and joint accounts just to move it straight back out again; what on earth is the point of that? It's just adding an unnecessary extra step, am I missing something?
The household bills all come out of my account. Over the years our earning ratio has shifted, my OH has at various times earned considerably more or considerably less than I have. When she was earning more, we had a standing order set up for her to give me a contribution; when she was out of work due to ill health we had a SO in the other direction to cover her outgoings plus a bit extra to do what she wanted with. In the rare cases where at the end of the month one of us is a bit short, or wants to do something special like book a holiday, then we just transfer money.
We just find it easier with one account. Everything goes in it, and everything that needs to be paid comes out of it. That means bills, mortgage (when we had one) cars and savings. My wife manages the savings, setting up isa's, etc and it makes sense to do it from one account.
Interesting topic! Why just because you earn more should you pay more into a joint account? Crashtestmonkey and I were on the same pay for the last 12 years. I have recently had a career change and taken a £12k pay cut. I don't pay less into the joint account and neither should I because I earn less. We spend the money in the joint account on what we can afford with the money we each put in. I have less money to spend on my stuff but that's tough, as thats' my job.
I accept it's different if you have children and one party is the child carer instead of working, but in a normal adult life it's different. We have our own seperate accounts for spending on bikes etc.
Joint account for everything. It's about trust and she is my wife.
How do you buy her a secret present, if she sees the bank transaction for "Handbags'R'Us" or whatever?
It seems a lot of people here are moving money between theirs and their spouses separate accounts. It's just adding an unnecessary extra step, am I missing something?
Why just because you earn more should you pay more into a joint account?
for better or worse, for richer or poorer. etc etc.
Early on in our relationship I told my future wife that there was no balance sheet. Surely that's how it should be?
Agreed
I used to earn a lot more than I do now but now I reckon Mrs PP must earn double what I do, although I've had several decent bonuses and one big redundancy payout over the years.
Our salaries go into one account. All the bills, shopping, fuel , eating out, pocket money etc comes out of that. I'm crap with money and knowing there's someone else looking at the account keeps me on the straight and narrow. If there's anything left at the end of the month she shuffles it away into a savings account. I dunno how much she's got tucked away but £2400 for a new-used car when ours went pop was no issue.
I have a separate account that I use for eBay and other sources of income. I paid for my motorbike out of it, I pay for shiny bike bits out of it and probably 1/3 of my pocket money too, and sometimes some holiday spending money.
As far as I can see 'our' money is one pot and we're both sensible with it.
I've seen a few mention 'I give her a housekeeping allowance' or words to that effect. That just sounds so alien to me, like from another age. I'm surprised there are still folk that use that language.
We just have joint accounts. Missus does an amazing job of running the finances and tax each year. Works for us.
It's not a 'housing keeping allowance'. it's an allowance. We both get one, the same amount, paid from the joint. It's for personal stuff (including christmas presents). It's about 10% of the net amount going in.
I'm more surprised that some people can't fathom the fact that other people don't run their lives exactly the same as they do. It's almost like they haven't worked out that we're all different....
It's not a 'housing keeping allowance'. it's an allowance.
Not you, but read back - there are a few that talk about giving their partner an allowance to run the house. I suspect my grandparents had a similar arrangement. But then again my wife does not 'run the house' - it's a shared task (this does not mean that I don't realise she is in charge - I know my place!).
Separate accounts and a joint savings one. Outgoings are shared out between us proportionately according to the difference between our earnings. Obviously we both had our separate accounts before we got together and haven't felt a need to change so we haven't.
Both wages paid into a joint account to cover bills etc.
We both have individual accounts and the joint acct pays us both monthly allowance/pocket money to spend as we wish. Mainly haircuts for the missus judging by the priceless on the counter 😯
Occasionally certain items will be classed as 'joint' elements and not paid out of pocket money (mostly chains and other bike wear and tear for me as I ride to work every day, she gets her petrol covered).
Fascinating....
In my marriage we had 2 joint accounts and 2 joint credit cards. Amicable separation and divorce, we each got custody of one account and one credit card. She earned and earns well, and now I am paying maintenance for kids to her account . But a mate got taken to the cleaners by his ex partner to near the point of bankruptcy... and it is difficult to close or get your name off an overdrawn account...
Now, with my partner 2 years, but not living together full time yet, and we will get married sooner or later. I earn rather more than her and her divorce is not yet finalised, At the moment we have our own individual accounts and a joint account which I put money in, and is mainly used by her. I suspect this may be the way we run things till at least her kids have flown the nest and she stops getting maintenance from her ex.
For me I'm cool about the trust thing, and would go to fully joint accounts, but I think separate credit card accounts to keep some privacy would be good.
breatheeasy,
That sounds the same as our set up. I have a few discussions on what is classed as 'joint' expenditure. Bike stuff is if it's for the commuting bike!
Personal account(s) each for salary etc., and a joint account for household costs (mortgage, utils, food, nursery, occasional treats). The joint account funding is pro-rata based on net income.
Big purchases that are a joint benefit (e.g. holidays or a new telly) are usually split 50/50 for simplicity.
Whatever's left in our personal accounts is spent however we like, no questions asked. If my wife wanted a spanking new car why should I pay for half of it when I'm still running round in a banger ? Why should she pay for more bikes that don't even get used ? I'd feel uncomfortable in both cases.
Obvs if one person is not earning then this model doesn't work, the breadwinner's account becomes the de-facto joint account and needs to cover everything (inc. "pocket money" for the non-worker).
Slight aside - when one person changes jobs or gets a pay rise we treat the other person: the extra money from the first month in the new job has to be spent on a meal. Sometimes it's just been a takeaway, sometimes it's been a whole weekend away. However we had to clarify the rules last year when I went from unemployed to employed and my wife suggested I should spend the difference between new income and previous income of £0 ! Nope...
It's not a 'housing keeping allowance'. it's an allowance.
As one who is 'guilty' of using the phrase - frankly that sounds more alien to me, that i should define how much my wife is allowed full stop.
It's just terminology, but as i earn more than her, particularly when she was a stay at home / part time working mum, it's only right that i should contribute more. Equally, there's no point giving me the job to do the food shopping because she generally does the cooking, plans the meals, etc. and therefore goes and buys the food shopping with money that i provide. She also pays the kids' school meals, childminder, etc. It's the money she uses to keep the house running, what else should i call it?
It's the money she uses to keep the house running, what else should i call it?
The household account?
It isn't a household account. It's money i give her, to supplement her wages, so she's got enough to cover the housekeeping bills and anything left over is hers.
If the kids need school shoes this month, she'll have slightly less* for herself. If I go away on a week's business trip and don't eat the contents of the fridge daily, she's a bit better off.
* who am I kidding - have you seen the price of school shoes?
[quote=theotherjonv ]If the kids need school shoes this month, [b]she'll[/b] have slightly less* for herself. Wow!
what else should i call it?
Call it whatever you like, it's nobodies business other than your own!
theotherjonv - the more you type the more it sounds like an account from the 50's - but as footflaps says it's your business and you can do as the two of you like.
We've been together 20 years, though not married.
Until we bought our current house 5 years ago, we had always had separate accounts. I guess it stems from having met young enough that having one's own account was still an indication of independence.
On taking the mortgage for this place, we also opened a joint account for fixed and joint responsibilities. I funded it. She spent from it.
Over time I've managed to nudge her towards shoving into the joint account some financial liabilities she was paying. And recently she's also started punting money into it - too much TBH, leaving stray money each month. The trouble is, I don't feel I can claim it as mine (so don't sweep it into savings for example) and she isn't sufficiently organised to know whether the debit card she is using for her discretionary expenditure is for her bank account or the joint account.
But, in spite of this recent balance I continue to bear a disproportionately large financial responsibility. I think it's psychological: because I earn more and therefore have more disposable income, the significant majority of non-fixed and discretionary expenditure always falls to me. Can be frustrating at times.
We enjoy a very equal relationship, but in many ways our money would be better organised by just one of us and not left to a couple of reasonable earning but disorganised individuals to manage.
We have a joint account that we both contribute equally to (we work for ourselves, and both 'earn' the same). This joint account is used to pay for anything that is a DD/standing order.
We then both spend using our own accounts/credit cards. If one of us pays for something that we both think is a joint thing, we then take (1/2) the money back out of the joint account.
All car expenses (except fuel), house renovation, gardening etc is deemed joint. And I usually pay the majority of the shopping, as I do it as my OH has a long commute, while she balances it with her horse costs.
Neither of us really care about who pays for what, or whether it's "fair" - as luckly we live a decent lifestyle.
The kids are all working now, but when my OH didn't work I just paid for everything - she just told me how much to transfer to her.
Although talking to my Dad, he went from giving all his wages to his Mum and getting some back to been married and doing the same with Mum. Never bothered him, and also meant he didn't have to worry about money as Mum just sorted it - and she still does, +50 years later 🙂
theotherjonv » If the kids need school shoes this month, she'll have slightly less* for herself.Wow!
Oh FFS. Is it because it's a 'childcare' cost? - i am already giving her 1/3 of my salary a month on top of her earnings exactly so she has money to cover this sort of thing. If it was in a joint account you wouldn't even comment, the fact I give it to her with the discretion to spend it how she wants - that makes me controlling or something?
When the CH pump packed up and cost a couple of hundred to replace i didn't dock 'her' money to compensate. That's on my side, and I paid it. Meant i had to cut down on some of the stuff I'd have liked to have done this month.
We've been together 21 years now, married 16, kids for 13 of them and it works just fine. Thanks very much.
Oh FFS. Is it because it's a 'childcare' cost? - i am already giving her 1/3 of my salary a month on top of her earnings exactly so she has money to cover this sort of thing. If it was in a joint account you wouldn't even comment, the fact I give it to her with the discretion to spend it how she wants - that makes me controlling or something?
I think it's because fundamentally, you see it as "your money" and "her money".
Joint account for everything here I cant see why you wouldn't from a simplicity point of view.
If we want to buy something we just go ahead and buy it, unless its an expensive purchase.
I work slightly reduce hours too, and earn probably 1/3 what Mrs FD does, but we share it all equally because the decisions about the hours I work and the type of job I do were decisions made jointly.
fascinating thread.
all joint and shared here, although i do skim £50 a week into a personal account for all bike shiz
But we have hers, mine [u]and ours[/u], just that some of ours (the bit that pays mortgages, insurances, utility bills, her PCP, the phone bill, the TV licence, the......) comes out of my account and some of it (the food shopping, the school costs, the pet insurance) comes out of her account which I top up anyway.
As said before, when first together we had to keep accounts separate for very good reasons. And having worked this way since 1995 the only reason to start her paying a chunk of her salary and me paying a chunk of mine into a joint account, and moving all of the DD and SO's over to that account, and then determining the disposition of any excess or shortfall depending on 'non-recurring' costs that may or may not come in seems to be that it'll keep some people on here happier?
I think it's because fundamentally, you see it as "your money" and "her money".
This is why we now have a joint acc which the salary gets paid into, as times gone on the concept of seperate money has faded into just 'ours.' For me, this didnt happen when we got married, but when we bought a house that needed a lot of work on it it got too complicated to be working out who spent what and divying it up fairly.
Mrs Eyepic gets paid into a joint account... this account pays all the bills ... mortgage, electricity, phone ,tv ,everything that can be put onto a DD. There is always some money left at the end of the month.
I get paid into another joint account... tis is for food, fun, petrol, bikes etc.... there is sometimes money left at the end of the month.
Periodically we take the excess money and put it into joint savings.
Been like that for 32 years... don't do separate.
I [s]earn[/s] get paid the most but it all goes in one pot. Couldn't imagine any other way. Both work hard and neither of us have expensive habits so it works fine. Sometimes "we" have money sometimes "we" are a bit skint, slife innit.
SIL and BIL have theres separate and from the outside it looks weird and I know it causes friction. For example if something needs paying for that is classed as "family" then each avoids paying. Maybe its more to do with the relationship than the viability of seperate accounts.
Joint account for everything here I cant see why you wouldn't from a simplicity point of view
Simplicity? Telling your work to change the account you have your salaries paid into? Change all your personal direct debits to the joint account? And no doubt other, tiresome bureaucracy that just reminds you that every minute filling in a form is a minute closer to death.
Far better to do nothing for as long as possible IMO. and that means separate accounts with a direct debit into a joint one for bills, meals out, holidays and stuff.
But we have hers, mine and ours, just that some of ours (the bit that pays mortgages, insurances, utility bills, her PCP, the phone bill, the TV licence, the......) comes out of my account and some of it (the food shopping, the school costs, the pet insurance) comes out of her account which I top up anyway.As said before, when first together we had to keep accounts separate for very good reasons. And having worked this way since 1995 the only reason to start her paying a chunk of her salary and me paying a chunk of mine into a joint account, and moving all of the DD and SO's over to that account, and then determining the disposition of any excess or shortfall depending on 'non-recurring' costs that may or may not come in seems to be that it'll keep some people on here happier?
Do what you like, but you did ask the question...
i am already giving her 1/3 of my salary a month on top of her earnings exactly so she has money to cover this sort of thing
Personally, the concept of you giving her money so she can buy school shoes for your child seems completely alien.
It seems a lot of people here are moving money between theirs and their spouses separate accounts. It's just adding an unnecessary extra step, am I missing something?
Yeah, I wondered if someone would call me out on that when I was typing it. Thing is, it's a relatively rare occurrence.
All the household bills come out of my account, so there's always the right money in place (I don't have to worry that we've over/underpaid into the joint account on a given month). Lump spends like holidays are coming out of hers.
The only benefit I can see to having a joint account is to use it as a stealth savings account by overpaying each month. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not saying there isn't other benefits, I just can't see what they are.
Personally, the concept of you giving her money so she can buy school shoes for your child seems completely alien.
+1
[quote=Cougar ]
It seems a lot of people here are moving money between theirs and their spouses separate accounts. It's just adding an unnecessary extra step, am I missing something?
Yeah, I wondered if someone would call me out on that when I was typing it. Thing is, it's a relatively rare occurrence. 😆
TBH, some of the previous replies to yours suggested it was happening every month.
If you do have separate accounts and your Wife doesn't work much, what IS a reasonable amount to give them for them to pay for fuel, food, kids stuff and her stuff per month? No household or car bills included.
It's clearly not a black and white situation. Some people are just terrible with money. My ex was. Earned well but spent every penny she earned, every penny I earned and racked up debts on credit cards that I had to pay off every year. If two people are fundamentally different in their approach to managing money then a separation of funds is key.
If however both of you can be sensible or you both equally as reckless then by all means a truly joint approach will work.
What works for you doesn't necessarily work for others. Would be good if folk remembered that...
Personally, the concept of you giving her money so she can buy school shoes for your child seems completely alien.
+1
Whereas if i put it into a joint account so that we can both buy them together then that would make you happier?
It's the same money from the same source being spent on the same thing - why does it matter what the number on the bank card is?
convert - MemberI've seen a few mention 'I give her a housekeeping allowance' or words to that effect. That just sounds so alien to me, like from another age. I'm surprised there are still folk that use that language.
I know what you mean, in my house we have a 'household' account (sub account of Mrs current account as it goes) it pays all the bills, it's separate from current accounts, for me it means I won't accidentally spend the Gas Bill money on a pair of tyres or something, for my Wife it means she doesn't have to keep a tally of how much she has left - slightly different due to the way our brains work.
It is my Wife's job to manage it, I put in more than her as I earn more, it leaves us with the same amount of disposable money-ish, but she makes sure the bills are paid, on time etc as that one of her jobs.
If it makes you feel any better my jobs include the food shopping, cooking and dishes.
If you want to know how we allocated the 'jobs' when we moved in together, on the day I moved in, I was earning more than the national average and on the verge of bankruptcy, She was a student, single Mother who had/has a perfect credit history and has never got so much of a reminder letter for a bill, but she can't cook for shit 😉
If you want a degoratory term, my Mum has a 'pin money' account my Dad pays her pocket money into.
If you do have separate accounts and your Wife doesn't work much, what IS a reasonable amount to give them for them to pay for fuel, food, kids stuff and her stuff per month? No household or car bills included.
My wife works as an admin / TA at a school for SEN kids. Pay isn't huge and it's on a 40/52 basis - so her annual salary is multiplied by 40/52 to account for the weeks off but then paid in 12 monthly instalments.
I then put about 1/3 of my after tax pay into her account as well, which pretty well doubles it.
I'm not saying what i get, but the maths astute will soon work out if I give her 1/3 of my after tax and that doubles her up, then what i have left is broadly the same as she has.
As said before I pay pretty much all of the household bills; she pays for food shopping and school / childcare stuff. Yes, including their ****ing shoes!!
If you wrote down all expenditure, after all 'fixed' costs are accounted she has far more discretionary spending than me anyway, and it's not as if they have shoes every month (it just seems like it). That seems fair to me as i have enough to keep me happy in general (CH pumps aside) and she can stack some back so that when holiday time comes and they go places and do stuff she has the money for it.
I know it's not a number which was the question - unless you're aware of SEN school admin staff pay scales - but of course you have to cut cloth to suit. If we had less, we'd buy cheaper stuff and give up some of the luxuries.
TBH, some of the previous replies to yours suggested it was happening every month.
We had to do a bit of creative juggling when she was out of work for health reasons, but haven't done it at all since she started back at work.
Whereas if i put it into a joint account so that we can both buy them together then that would make you happier?It's the same money from the same source being spent on the same thing - why does it matter what the number on the bank card is?
As I said, do what you like, but the idea of my/ her money seems very odd - it's ours and has been since before we were married. I do earn a fair bit more than my wife btw.
Don't worry Jonv, you're not the only one. My first marriage we both worked and had our own accounts and a central account we both paid a fair proportion of our salaries to cover all the bills.
The current Mrs R (of 20 years) never wanted that arrangement and so she's kept her account and I keep mine, paying a sum into her account to keep her in Chanel No. 5 and other essentials such as kids stuff and food. Also, I'm pretty good with money, so able to budget and decide what we can can't afford to do.
Yes, I'm IN CONTROL...but we've never had money problems, overdrafts or credit card debts.
As I said, do what you like, but the idea of my/ her money seems very odd - it's ours
As i said, we have mine, hers [u]and ours[/u], it's just ours is split between our two current accounts rather than in a third one just to conform to others expectations.
It's not hard to work out which 'ours' is because it's whatever gets spent on stuff 'for us'
I've seen a few mention 'I give her a housekeeping allowance' or words to that effect. That just sounds so alien to me, like from another age.
It does but I understand it too. Where we live, a lot of women are stay at home parents / ladies who lunch and their main responsibility is to manage the 'household' funds.
My salary is paid into my wife's account simply because when we got married her bank was paying better interest than mine. She earns more than I do. We have no individual savings (ignoring ISA allowances etc) which she organises. I have no idea how internet banking works and have no desire to. My wife often jokes that if something happened to her, I'd be asking friends to borrow a few quid until I'd worked out what banks we use.
I know our PIN. I assume there's a cash point card in her [s]pit of hell[/s] handbag.
Relish in the lack of responsibility.
I do do all my 'turns' be it attending children's friend's birthday parties, tax, MOT, lawn mowing and dish washing etc. I do what I'm told!
I'm also available for advice on how to tidy so abysmally you'll never be asked again 🙂
As i said, we have mine, hers and ours, it's just ours is split between our two current accounts rather than in a third one just to conform to others expectations.
We're going round in circles:
1. You are allowed to arrange your finances as you wish.
2. I am allowed to think that your arrangements are weird.
Coldplay > how on earth do you buy anything? Do you just ask your wife to order it if you want a new bike or, I don't know, a sandwich or something?
3. I'm allowed to point out why it isn't, and it is in fact just as equitable as anyone else's and I don't need to feel like Victorian husband.
3. I'm allowed to point out why it isn't, and it is in fact just as equitable as anyone else's and I don't need to feel like Victorian husband.
4. I'm allowed to point out why I think it is, and from what you've said is about attitude rather than practicalities.
Anyway, you seem quite sure that you're right about all this, and certainly don't need my approval, so what's the problem?
No problem at all. Just wondering why you keep having to have the last word. If my wife did that i'd dock her a day's allowance 😉
(and it's pure practicalities - initially we had to have separate finances and now we just can't be arsed to amend them and move dozens of DD's and SO's and employer details and..... when what we have works just fine)
The banks will very happily move all your DDs and SOs for you. It's not difficult, and given how gash some banks are these days, and how good others are...
3. I'm allowed to point out why it isn't, and it is in fact just as equitable as anyone else's and I don't need to feel like Victorian husband.
Maybe it's the way you explained it. But your wife juggling the money needed to run the house, feed the kids and put shoes on their feet and that having a direct correlation to what she, [u]and only she[/u], has left for her own needs does make it sound that way.
"Welcome home darling, here's your dinner. The children ate earlier - I made them a mutton broth and darned billy's socks instead of buying new so I had enough left over to buy myself this pinafore - I hope it meets with your approval" 😉
Get rid of the blue bills and the pink bills - lob both your cash in one pot and welcome to the 21st century. 🙂
No problem at all. Just wondering why you keep having to have the last word. If my wife did that i'd dock her a day's allowance
Well you could do that, but then your children might have to go barefooted 😉
@Cougar - envelopes.
At the start of the month multiple envelopes are filled with money.
nanny salary
elec. bill
water bill
4 x petrol for motorbike
4 x diesel for truck
4 x grocery
4 x wife and my socialising
4 x family meal out
4 x beer after Friday ride money
etc
If I were to want to buy a bike I'd ask / discuss it with her. I've always got what I wanted as I don't want the latest a greatest.
My life is very boring (but I like it). I pass a single shop riding to school (where I teach). Free coffee and meals at school. Ride home. Play with the children / study. Have tea. Bed. Our weekends are spent as a family. Beach usually. I don't have a need to spend money.
Enveloping has helped us save well over the years.
Anyone's partner not work? Not including disability etc.
Haven't read through whole thread but...
My partner and I have both been married before. We have no desire to be financially obliged to each other, like we were in our marriages.
I transfer her my share of the bills every month and she pays them. No need for joint accounts.
I did joint accounts with an old girlfriend years ago. I hated it being her business what I spent, and my business what she spent. Just split the bills (in a ratio that works for you) and keep your own money 🙂
We have no desire to be financially obliged to each other
Why would you feel that way anyway?
I think the critical thing is to have a deal that works for yuo and that you both are comfortable with. I know ALL the women I know would not like not having their own money.
Molgrips - if you don't have your own money then you feel you have to ask the other for "permission" to spend money - hardly equitable.
I like to have a partnershp of equals