Subscribe now and choose from over 30 free gifts worth up to £49 - Plus get £25 to spend in our shop
Asking around a few mates and the variety of set ups is baffling me. There doesn't seem to be any ideal way.
Any thoughts?
I've never understood the separate accounts thing.
We have separate accounts. It's worked for 26 years!
We each had accounts that were joint. It seemed to make sense.
Joint account for running the house, shopping etc, separate accounts for rest. Obviously she just takes tenners out of my wallet if she wants cash 🙁
Seperate here. Both pay into the joint account that's for mortgage, food and bills. Everything else is done separately.
Works for us.
It's so much hassle these days to open / close accounts and set up direct debits etc that I'd go for what ever is the most painless option. As you say there is no right answer as everyone's circumstances are different.
We have mix. Can't see how it could realistically be fully shared. Joint account for all bills, mortgage, etc. Individual accounts for businesses (both self employed) and pension
2/3rds of income goes into joint account leaving 1/3rd to be spent by the individuals thats how we roll in this house!
Rich
Seperate accounts, married isnt actually a thing you know.
Done the fully joint thing previously in a past relationship it was terrible, felt guilty spending my own money and then ex would want to spend the same. Now separate works well for us, the mortgage and related costs is paid on the ratio of our salaries, whats left over is ours to do as we please, i.e. no asking permission to buy a new bike. I wouldn't do it any other way, might be diff if you have kids and one half isn't working though.
Similar to above. Joint account that we both pay into - covers mortgage, bills, food, housekeeping, etc. What's left in the individual accounts is saved/spent as ones wishes. Works ok for us.
Amount paid into the joint account depends on our wages. Do as my wife is currently just starting out as self-employed I'm paying in the lion's share. But in the past it's been the other way round.
My parents have been married for 61 years. My partner once asked my mum what was their secret to happy married life for so long. Her answer was ' have seperate bank accounts and never have breakfast together'
seriously though, it workd for them as they both had a similar income after my mum went back to work when I was 5, and they divided elements of expence (mum paid for food, our clothing and holidays amongst other things, dad the mortgage and the cars, utilities etc.) and then helped each other out if a big expense came in.
It has certainly worked for them.
The same as most on here. Joint account for house bills / mortgage and food etc. Separate accounts to get salaries into and spend each what we have left. Not that I don't trust wifey, but I work for a bank and I've seen a lot of messed up joint accounts when people split up etc. She actually earned more than me until recently so she didn't ever really understand it, but it's just me.
Till recently we had separate accounts and paid a certain amount into a joint acc for household stuff, bills, food, mortgage etc. With a kid on the way we've reversed it and put both our salaries into joint and then direct debit the same amount of spending money into our individual accounts. Seeing as we'll be spending most of our money on the infant seemed to make sense that way!
Both. We pay varying amounts into the joint household running account and savings from our own current accounts. In effect all income is pooled, though either of us can/will spend what we want from the pool within reason. Works for us as we both have a reasonable/similar approach to spending, except bike spending 😳
Not married but together 11 years, no kids - all finances pooled into one pot and she looks after it as I'm useless with money and we'd be broke in a week if I were in charge of it!
she looks after it
Same. Saves me a load of stress, and means we have food not just toys 😳
Separate accounts here. Been that way for 35 years. The only bill she pays is the cable TV bill, and that's only because I'd left my cheque book at work the evening the cable guy came round to sign us up and didn't have my sort code and account number to hand.
My money's ours and hers is her own it seems, but then she only works part time and didn't work at all until the children left school.
One account and we compete to spend it quickest.
We have joint account for household bills, mortgage etc, we pay a set amount into that each month.
Have our own accounts to do with as we please, been that way 20 years and works well for us.
We have a joint and separate
Good grief. Do you lot not trust your spouses or something? What happened to 'what's mine is yours' ?
Avoid guilt on spending money by agreeing a budget. We have spending money paid into separate accounts, but only to make budgeting easier.
She earns nothing, but she spends an equal share.
My recommendation would be a joint account for joint things, household bills, mortgage, holiday etc. Seperate accounts into which salaries paid and personal expenses.
Joint account for joint things - decide between you what they are.
Each pays in to that based on their earnings. So if joint costs are £1500 a month and he earns twice as much, he puts in £1000 and she puts in £500.
Whatever they have left over is "their own" money.
Just a joint account is a nightmare. Arguments about who can spend how much on what, no chance to even treat each other to surprises. It's also a perfect recipe for financial abuse and control within a relationship, when it becomes very, very damaging.
Joint for bills, mortgage and nursery fees.
Separate for the remainder.
I earn a little bit more so put in a couple of hundred quid extra as it evens it out more then.
Works well for us and if we need anything extra just transfer some more across
Both earn similar amounts plus have a rental property, all of the rent & 2/3 of our money goes into the joint account. That pays for all the boring stuff. I waste the rest of mine on bike stuff and beer, she buys coats and lots of tea & cake meetings with her friends. Every now any again if either of us has a reasonable surplus in our acc we stick it in the joint one, the surplus if that regularly gets used to overpay the mortgage. Has worked for 15 years.
Voice of experience here
Separate but with a joint account purely for bills that neither of you has a or at least uses a debit card for. I made the mistake of paying both salaries into the one account with an ex wife that re-enacted Brewster's Millions every month 🙁
Both our incomes go into a joint bank account. That account dumps a bit each month into a joint saving account. It also puts the same amount each into individual bank accounts. Those accounts pay for our personal spending. It means there is never a cross word about money spent on handbags or bike shizzle.
I seems to have more expensive tastes and spend most of mine, she squirrels quite a chunk away 'for a rainy day' - she must have thousands stashed...or a secret coke and hookers habit.
Always shared every account, penny and debt. I dont get why you wouldn't.
Joint account for all bills. Then we have our own each for spending/individual savings. The joint covers bills plus 20% which we can save or splurge on holidays. All good and both v happy with it.
Joint here. All in for the ride.
I dont get why you wouldn't
My ex spent ~£20k in 3 months from the joint account, unbeknown to me...
Joint and all shared from day one, never had a problem with it.
Separate.
We both pay a fixed amount in to cover the bills & we do whatever else we please with the rest.
Accordingly to some, this is an issue apparently.
Before/no kids - joint account that you both pay into for household bills and other shared expenses worked fine for us. Bigger things like holidays we'd just both top it up for that month.
After kids, it made more sense to make the joint account the primary one, pay salary into there, effectively anything necessary for day-to-day stuff goes out of that, for us or kids. Set up a budget and syphon off a set amount into each of our personal accounts each month for "fun money". It varies depending on how tight things are that particular month.
I can see the case for getting to the latter one sooner but until my wife was on maternity leave there didn't seem like a pressing need to make the joint account the primary one. But then we didn't feel the need to budget until then either, we were fortunate enough to both be earning decent money and not need to think about it too much. Plus we lived together for years before marrying, so it wasn't like we were changing our lives that much in one go. In hindsight it would have made sense to do it earlier, it does make a lot of stuff much simpler.
YNAB have plenty of good stuff about combining finances. https://www.youneedabudget.com/learn/guide/join-forces
joebristol - Member
Not that I don't trust wifey, but
Is that like "It's not that I'm a racist, but"?
Joint. Only my income coming in, from me, as the wife is a 'housewife' (or whatever the PC term is these days) so no need for separate accounts. Even when she worked it was one pot and when it's gone, it's gone.
Joint account only from the moment we got married. 21 years ago. Never, ever had a problem. We share everything, riches and debt.
Joint account from before we were married and bought our first place - 22yrs ago. Never a problem.
Similar to most here. Joint account for mortgage, bills, etc. that we both pay into from our personal accounts. Joint short term savings account for holidays etc. that siphons off from the joint account. Whatever's left in our own accounts is to be spent or saved as we see fit, no questions asked. Has worked fine for the 15 years we've been together (married 10).
All joint accounts, fewer worries with money access if one of us were to die suddenly. Herself does the accounts as I am one for shiney things.
Joint account that pays a fixed, equal amount into two individual accounts.
Joint accounts for everything, she spends more, but then again she also earns more. If I was in charge of finances we'd be broke very quickly.
Is that like "It's not that I'm a racist, but"?
Not one knows what lies around the corner. I expect that you'd walk away with just the clothes onot your back. Do the decent thing.
If you think you do, you're a bigger idiot than that comment makes you seem.
One joint current account, and joint savings. Only individual is an ISA in each name, but my wife has all the logins. Both of us earn and both of us spend? Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??
[quote=zanelad ]Not one knows what lies around the corner. I expect that you'd walk away with just the clothes onot your back. I'm right then.
[quote=oldschool ]One joint current account, and joint savings. Only individual is an ISA in each name, but my wife has all the logins. Both of us earn and both of us spend? Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??
I've seen "His" and "Hers" towels but maybe I need to look harder in future. Do folk go around writing "His" and "Hers" on all their possessions or, being IT folk, is it all kept on a big spreadsheet somewhere (presumably in Escrow)?
Joint. I'm responsible for the input side of the equation. It would probably be better if it were single based on my hobby expenditure!
She is very understanding and we aren't broke (largely thanks to her!)
oldschool » One joint current account, and joint savings. Only individual is an ISA in each name, but my wife has all the logins. Both of us earn and both of us spend? Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??
I've seen "His" and "Hers" towels but maybe I need to look harder in future. Do folk go around writing "His" and "Hers" on all their possessions or, being IT folk, is it all kept on a big spreadsheet somewhere (presumably in Escrow)?
We don't have his and her towels, we just have an amount of money that we spend, and if we are planning something bigger we both tighten the purse strings for a month or two.
Separate for us, couple of reasons but I never want to have to explain or justify a purchase and neither does my Wife.
We've got a joint household and savings account, but our disposable income is our own.
Separate accounts.. I pay the mortgage and utilities.. She pays for shopping. Pay for own vehicles.
Joint account for bills and food split in proportion to salary, no kids.
Do you spend similar, if you want a new bike would the other half be happy and not want to spend the equivalent on a handbag or vice versa
Interesting. The majority seems to be for separate accounts.
We've had a joint current and savings account since before we were married (10yrs), and both got rid of our separate current accounts soon after.
So how do people feel about even or uneven distribution of fun money? There seem to be some people here with separate accounts who have disproportionate amounts of personal money left after chipping into the joint bill paying account and also those where it's all in one pot but where one could dip in more than the other?
We give ourselves the same amount each by standing order every month despite contributing substantially differently financially. I chose the sell my soul to the devil and a work all hours career, she the easier path for better work life balance. Pretty even distribution of blue and pink household jobs too. Sometimes in wrangles. Is there anyone who is the lesser breadwinner who spends all the household cash and how do you feel about it (or vice versa)?
We give ourselves the same amount each by standing order every month despite contributing substantially differently financially.
Same here. Over the 20 years of marriage we've earned about the same, me much more, now my wife has retired so not putting anything in. We still take out the same each month. It may be a bit old fashioned but isn't that what marriage is about?
It may be a bit old fashioned but isn't that what marriage is about?
Yes, you are right and I'm in the big picture I'm glad we do it. Still doesn't mean I don't look at bikes and other shiny things and wish I could save for them a bit faster!
We have separate and joint accounts.
I had a moment of realisation - about 5 years ago - when it became clear that we make decisions about: my money (ours), our money, or my wife's money (ours). It's all basically [i]our[/i] money... it's just a matter of where the control is.
For what it's worth: I put about 1/3rd of my income into our joint account (bills, food etc) and pay the mortgage, cars and regular savings directly in my name. This leaves about a final 20% for spending on whatever I like. My wife's either been stay-at-home or part-time for the last 7 years, so it's important for her to have control over her income and she pays for most kids' clothing and presents...
...but it's still all "ours". 😉
Seperate accts, with a joint (DD's going into this every month). How the **** would I have a blingy carbon santa cruz otherwise?!?
The money is ours though, if wifey wants something and doesn't have the money and I have, I just give it to her. It's no issue at all.
Is there anyone who is the lesser breadwinner who spends all the household cash and how do you feel about it (or vice versa)?
Early on in our relationship I told my future wife that there was no balance sheet. Surely that's how it should be?
Join with seperates when I used to do it. Best system as the household stuff is covered but you treat each other like adults and don't have to jointly agree every single line item of expenditure. It's nothing to do with a lack of trust but sometimes good to have a level of surprise etc.
One joint account for everything.
We never ever argue or calculate the currency we've spent.
If we need to make big purchase (100 quid plus) then we run it past each other.
One joint account from which comes all the monthly households bills, car insurance for both of us and finance payments for her car. I pay for all of that, so the "joint" account is really only to separate the house bills from my own personal bills. She's got a current account that her wages go in to, I've got one that my wages go in to. She spends her wages on whatever she wants, I spend what's left of mine on whatever I want. Seems to work fine for us.
20+ years together, not married, separate accounts. Whoever earns more pays proportionately more of the shared outgoings. It's all 'our' money, we don't need permission from each other to buy anything, the big stuff gets discussed & agreed as necessary. Works for us.
our joint account is for mortgage, bills food, kids clothing etc. I do the finances and I put the majority into the joint and we both know what we earn, mrsEd covers the car (we are a one car family to make the numbers work)
We communicate: if either of us was taking the mickey we would know about it - and lets face it, disposable income isn't common across households in the UK at the moment, certainly isn't in ours!
disposable income isn't common across households in the UK at the moment,
I just don't think this is true. I'd argue what counts as disposable income expense and what counts as essential has shifted. Terrifyingly close to half of all UK houses elect to pay for Sky over and above free to air TV services. I struggle to imagine a commodity that fits into the disposable income expense column more than paying coin to Murdock. Also, 16 million people in Britian regularly buy coffee in one of the chains spending an average of over £400 a year each in them. I wonder if they all think they don't have much disposable income too.
scotroutes - Member
I've never understood the separate accounts thing.
Presumably you understood the separate accounts thing when you met, started dating, and throughout your engagement?
Tracey - Member
Joint and all shared from day one, never had a problem with it.
Which was day One, the day you met, your first date, the day you moved in together, the day you got engaged or the day you married?
I set up my joint account (to cover mortgage and utilities) when my partner and I bought our first house, we weren't married back then and had no children. Our salaries have always been paid in to our personal accounts and then both contributed into the joint account to cover bills.
There's never been any reason to change that system.
Separate would seem weird, what happens when booking a holiday if you earn different amounts? One fancies Barbados but the other can only afford Bognor??
Wife works part time in retail, I'm full time. When it comes to holidays I'm paying anyway so it doesn't matter. I want Bognor, she wants 5*. She wins.
MrsDummy and I ran basically joint accounts (I earned more, discretionary spending was roughly similar).
We are divorcing and are (thus far anyway) managing to separate out our finances equitably and without any ugly surprises.
😐
Joint account for everything. It's about trust and she is my wife. She has spent the last 3 1/2 years off work raising our children. How can she expect to live without my income? Should I give her an allowance? We have had a joint account since before we got married when we moved in together. It has created a little bit of tension at times but generally has brought us together through difficult financial times through unity and helping eachother out.
I wouldn't want it any other way. I still buy what I want as does she; providing we can afford it!
If both are working and have decent jobs then I think it makes sense to have separate accounts and pay into one joint account for household costs (petrol, shopping, insurances, mortgage etc). Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to share everything and can't have anything independent from each other. Basically this way there are no money arguments because all the essentials are covered, the rest is disposable income, she can't complain if I blow mine on bikes and I can't complain if she blows hers on shoes. Most arguments and problems in marriages are caused over arguments over money.
Obviously not so simple if one is the only breadwinner or one has a job earning alot less than the other - makes sense to have a common account then.
wobbliscott - Member
If both are working and have decent jobs then I think it makes sense to have separate accounts and pay into one joint account for household costs (petrol, shopping, insurances, mortgage etc). Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to share everything and can't have anything independent from each other. Basically this way there are no money arguments because all the essentials are covered, the rest is disposable income, she can't complain if I blow mine on bikes and I can't complain if she blows hers on shoes. Most arguments and problems in marriages are caused over arguments over money.
This.
We have always earned (as teachers with similar time in the job) within about 3-4k of each other, so roughly equal. Whoever earns a little bit more at a given time pays a little bit more into the joint account. Definitely cuts down (eliminates) arguments over money.
Completely separate.
I pay some bills, she pays some.... i pay more as i earn more...
The actual amounts and percentages of salary don't really matter... we're a couple... as long as we can both afford to live and be OK... then that's cool with me.
Separate but the wife is on my credit card and I pay all the bills. Not sure what a joint account would add, other than hassle of setting it up.
We do the three accounts. We each pay half of what it costs to live including food into a joint account. anything above that is in our individual accounts. If one of us runs out the other one is buying the beers simple as.
We have always earned roughly similar amounts and I guess this would be different if you earned vastly different accounts. At times when I have earned less she paid for the holidays and vice versa. Currently I am earning more - I have paid for a new bathroom. Occasionally we will even things out by giving each other a couple of hundred. We have no loans of credit cards outstanding.
We have never argued about money. Neither of us would spend ridiculous sums without consulting the other. We have been together 37 years so this works for us.
I find the idea of not having "my" money incomprehensible and I know Julie my partner feels this even more strongly. Not that either of us would hide spending or spend recklessly
we have one joint for bills - another specifically for the cars/car replacement and seperates for the rest of our cash.
the difference between my wage and the wifes gets put into savings for rainy days for either of us or on house stuff.
(Several) separate accounts. There is no other way
Scotroutes - its not about trust - or not in the way you think. Neither Julie nor I ever want to be beholden to anyone or have anyone dependent upon us. I know you find my position incomprehensible but remember - I find yours unfathomable 🙂
My mum who is now 82 and still married absolutely insisted on having her own money all her married life even tho she had to get my dad to sign to agree that he gave permission for her to have a bank account in her own name! She has decided to spend her "escape fund" now tho 😉
[quote="trail_rat"]
..........
the difference between my wage and the wifes gets put into savings for rainy days for either of us or on house stuff.
Thats a neat way of doing it.
We have separate accounts, no different to before we were married. I've had the same account with Barclays for nearly 30 years...
We have a joint credit card for house hold bills, which we split 50:50 and pay off each month.
No mortgage, as I'd paid that off before I met the wife and she moved in. She has her old house let out and keeps the rent from that.
Seems to work fine.