MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Why is there always a knock down? No matter where you are on life's ladder, just when you think things are going well, the cooker breaks down, the bathroom floods, the gearbox falls out, a neighbour shouts at you, work is a disappointment, someone gets sick, the smug bastard across the desk pays off his mortgage, a crack appears in the wall behind the telly...
One day, I'd love to live a happy go lucky existence whereby I have no problems and wander through life with a style of relaxed ease, but I fear its just a mere #pipedream. Unrealistic expectations? Probably.
Sigh.
U ok hun?
Its OK, I'm hugging a cushion.
Oh, I get the shivers
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news...
Life....oh life
You can't control life, there is no point worrying about what others have done, the only thing you can control is how you react to things. Learn that and the rest is as smooth a anyone can make it. There will always be stresses, disappointments and angers but if something happens and you can do something about it, then do that thing and there is no need for angst...if you can't make change then just accept it and concentrate on the the important bits
So true and so difficult but that really is it
Oh, and buy less stuff. Everything has a small chance of going wrong and it all adds up. In the end you get to the point where something is always going wrong. It's just statistics really, not bad luck
Sounds like you could do with a holiday!
You can simulate what you are looking for, for as long as you are riding your bike on a nice country road, or out in the hills.
This??
Its a bit pants TBH, if you do watch it I’d suggest a bottle of really rancid cheap red wine from the co-op, some peanut MnM’s and a rubber 🐓
In the last ten days I've had my motorbike stolen from outside my house, had an uncle die buried him and dealt with my father having lost his last brother (Irish funeral from dead to buried in under a week) and been going back to a Psycologist for some reoccurrence of work related trauma. On the plus side I had a good bike ride with the Mrs and friends at the weekend, it's sunny outside, there's white wine chilling in the fridge so I'm quite happy all things considered.
@tazzymtb is a wise man on this occasion.
Think through your own expectations of and for yourself and others and perhaps consider what really is important in your life.
I follow a simple approach: Smile at the world and the world smiles back 😃
It works, with practice.
Life?
Don't talk to me about life.
Manjana man, manjana.
You think you’ve got problems. What are you supposed to do If you are a manically depressed robot.
I get where Kryton's coming from. If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all.
We decided to go part time in 2016 & all went well for 6 months till Mrs Egf got cancer. I got dismissed from work cos I told the boss where my priorities lay (for the time being/at the time) Mrs Egf then had to pack in altogether cos of her illness so I'm working just about full time again.
We have to take it on the chin though, life is what it is & fate is just that.
To quote a colleague: “your luck’s a disease”.
Sh1t happens, try and roll with it.
Otherwise you’ll end up a miserable, bitter and twisted git like me.
@slackalice what do you mean this occasion?! I'm always wise, well except for all those times when I'm a ****wit 🙂
Life is not easy, it's hard, bloody hard. Anyone that can get through it is tough, evolution wouldn't work otherwise. Often I think, "I didn't ask to be put here" and often I question whether I'd have agreed to it, if it was possible to have a choice. The conclusion we all have to come back to though, is suck it up, get your head down, and get on with it.
Why is someone paying off their mortgage a knock down? Get a grip FFS. If you want to live an easier life then do so, stop worrying about what other people are doing and trying to keep up and go find some joy and happiness in the simple things.
One day, I’d love to live a happy go lucky existence.
Start today then.
The stuff that happens to you is emotionally neutral. The universe doesn’t give a shit about you or your problems either way.
The emotional context that you attach to them is, to a large extent, up to you.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
I kinda think along these lines sometimes. My way of thinking these days has been affected heavily by the plight of those in the middle east or Africa (or anywhere) that's war torn. We are so <f-word> lucky to have our first world problems and don't mean this sanctimoniously and I don't include shitty family illnesses in this generalisation. Cracked wall? At least you have a house and the crack isn't a bomb hole or sniper fire. Bust cooker? At least you have food and clean water that doesn't need cooked, or is already cooked, or is delivered to you in the comfort of your home. You get the picture. It's not a dig because shit luck is shit luck, but remember where you are on the scale of things and, well, deal with it.
I'm sure your stereotypical Syrian refugee would love (y)our existence.
OK - seeing as I am in that kind of mood (see other post) here goes.
In the last 7 years and in brief and in loosely chronological order I've been dealt:
Unfair dismissal followed by lengthy and stressful legal battle whilst at the same time just being diagnosed with chronic ulcerartive colitis. Then starting a new job still with colitis and whilst going through the stress of IVF. IVF was thankfully successful but found out 10 weeks or so before the due date my only option for the colitis was to have my bowel removed. Had the surgery and 4 weeks almost to the hour my wife went in to labour.
New job was proving difficult for all of the above and ended up on performance management. One month in to the performance improvement plan my dad died completely unexpectedly from a massive brain haemorrhage. 2 days after than I was in hospital with meningitis.
Recovery was slow and ended up getting 'made redundant' from the new job (albeit with a fair severance package). Struggled finding a new job but in the end found pretty much my ideal position only to go to the hospital with my mum 4 days before I was due to start to find out she had terminal cancer. Started the new job anyway and my mum lasted about 16 days so had to deal with all of that with a feuding family to keep things nice and simple. Probate was a bitch and then we moved house.
Ended up in a mental mess and was signed off work for 8 weeks with depression. First day back I was called in to a mass meeting to be told in front of 200 other people my role was being made redundant and whilst I may have another position the role I was currently in was off the table. New role was shit, work was shit, life was shit. Started a new job which thankfully is going well.
In the meantime whilst all this is going on the MiL went from being the most lovely woman to raving alcoholic to total mental breakdown and in a care home. My wife could barely get a coherent sentence out of her. Various other relatives and friends dying on us and then eventually the MiL died end of March this year.
Now as well as fighting my own demons it turns out my wife is pretty seriously suicidal.
I can only concur with the OP.
This was intended a generic satirical thread, but I’d like to ask that we all pause this thread for a moment and direct out our more serious thoughts and energies on this subject to our forum fellow dannyb here
https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/suicidal-wife-wtf-do-i-do/
He needs our support
edit: sorry dannyb we posted at the same time.
Having come out the other side of it, i’d Recommend that at some point in your life, when you’re doing great, you should then lose everything but the clothes you’re stood up in.
Its quite cathartic. Very character building. Cheers banking crisis!
Once you navigate the resulting debilitating depression and constant suicidal thoughts then you’re laughing.
Literally!
There is now nothing that anyone can threaten me with, or can do to me, short of murdering my kids, that would result in me not laughing in their faces
It’s all about perspective. Take the positives. What doesn’t kill you, and all that... 😀
Rene has it.
If a cooker breaking down is the sum of your lifes problems, count yourself lucky.
cooker breaks down, the bathroom floods, the gearbox falls out, a neighbour shouts at you, work is a disappointment, someone gets sick, the smug bastard across the desk pays off his mortgage, a crack appears in the wall behind the telly…
If these kind of things have a detrimental effect on your mental wellbeing then life will indeed be a struggle.
Things to worry about are you and your family's health and the ability to put your food on the table and a roof over your head.
I think it's possible to live with a relaxed ease and have a broken washing machine. Happy go lucky means not worrying about things that will always go wrong out doesn't mean being lucky that things magically don't go wrong.
Wisdom = applied knowledge. The world would be a boring place if we were all consistently wise 😃
Only one thing happens, sh1t ! Just got to keep dealing with it. Might become a Monk.
Back to 1992 for you Krytz...
Just when everything is going great, your neighbour’s bin falls onto the door of your Skoda.
remember where you are on the scale of things and, well, deal with it
I can't remember where i saw that first but that is probably the best advice there is. Whenever life gets a bit crap I always stop and think to myself that I'm just a tiny little part of the world and there are literally millions of people worse off than I am.
I'm fit and healthy, so are my family and daughter, I've got a job that I enjoy (most of the time!) I earn enough to pay all the bills, other than that what is there to worry about!
Anything other than the above I just see as a minor problem, I know I sometimes annoy people by being so laid back and not giving a **** about some things but as they say "life's too short"
It's not always easy to stop a series of ripples from turning into great waves, but some people are able to keep those ripples from resonating together.
I'm certainly not one of the latter most of the time and even though it's almost mid summer, I'm currently letting stupid little stuff weigh me down mentally recently, as if it's mid winter.
It's down to me to stop my negative mental spiral. The days when I feel completely drained are the days I really must learn to kick myself out of the house and go for a ride, instead of giving in to the negativity.
Not every ride needs to be a training ride where I attempt to set a new PB up a hill, I need to accept that sometimes simply going for a gentle ride for ~30mins for the sake of going outdoors is a good enough reason to go out.
Every 6th former who had to study English knows this, amateur 😛
“That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "**** you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then right under that it'll say "**** you." I'm positive, in fact.”
Replace "somebody" with the "universe".
Entropy is a harsh mistress. There's only one thing you can do, laugh and stick your middle finger up at it all. Or just become religious, but I'd rather end it all than consider doing that.
i just see lifes knock backs as challenges, to get over/sort out, and get on with living.
had 10 years of ill health, now over it. worked hard to get well, did all my doctors said, now back on top.
crack on with living today, worry about problems when they arise and sort em.
I’m hugging a cushion.
Our rabbit used to do that.
I've re - learned to value the little things - small children, dogs, playing and a good night's kip. Good cheese. Cider.
Little, simple things done well. Today, I've cleaned two cars, done some gardening and cooked a meal. I decided that doing those things well would take my mind off other things and make me happy. And they did.
Slow your mind down. Live in the moment. Listen.
Strip away all the bullshit, the pointless toss about BMW suspension systems and what other people think about your coat.
And it is pointless. Use all your life experience to make your decisions.
Listen to old people.
"Remember, whatever the cost, you have to burn all the bridges you've crossed. Because the devils you've yet to behold are better by far than the devils you know".
Be here now.
First world problems
#railing against entropy because my nice things sometimes break.
Harsh? Maybe but there's plenty of perspective out there. If your family are healthy to the point where you aren't a full-time carer, and you have food and shelter then may I suggest also volunteering even a couple of hours a week to help the less fortunate? Those interactions go both ways and the positive effects are manifold.
Mazda MX-5.
I am not sure the western consumer based, work flat out until you are almost dead approach really makes anyone happy. Problem is it is difficult to break away from it.
Have you though about becoming a buddhist monk ?
Could be worse!
I've come to realise that part of the human condition is that we need something to worry about, something to obsess over. I find even if you get all the physical things sorted to a point where they are not a concern you start fretting about your interactions with other humans. And you do obsess over the negative things.... 10 people might be friendly to you in a day, say hello, get you a brew, ask how you are but one person might be a bit surly .... and it'll be the surly interaction that'll play on your mind... I think it's just the way we're wired. I can see why people become hermits. lol.
And you do obsess over the negative things…. 10 people might be friendly to you in a day, say hello, get you a brew, ask how you are but one person might be a bit surly …. and it’ll be the surly interaction that’ll play on your mind
Part of the CBT session I’m about to end has been about dealing with this. I thought I was a bit introverted, yet it turns out that I force myself into a closed defensive personality because I assume all these interactions to be my fault, rather than understanding that the surly person has a set of thoughts, feelings and emotions as well and just because they decide to project themselves toward me in that manner doesn’t mean it is.
Good example yesterday - tube station at rush hour my phone (nfc) failed to register at the barrier. The guy behind me literally forced, as in pushed and manhandled me out of the way. Now, my new found instinct let this go as “he’s the angry, impatient, selfish one”. Howevever as I reset my phone the guy behind me me tutted and said “for ****s sake, hurry up” - I turned to him and said politely, “it it was for that fellow, I’d have touched in a lot quicker, your delay is his problem not mine, yet I and you still need to travel to work”. I didn’t think about it all day, whereas in the past I’d have sat on the tube feeling embarrassed at the delay and angry at the cock that’d made me feel like an idiot.
Interestingly in parallel to where this thread has gone, my last two session of CBT - which focuses a lot on negative thought patterns - has been about understanding that I’m not responsible for actions of others during human interactions, neither should I assume blame about thier emotional, verbal but also non verbal interactions.
I found it fascinating that being a middle aged experience and fairly intellectual adult we allow ourselves to fall into these traps.
Wind it back to 99’ and listen to these lyrics Krytz..
a crack appears in the wall behind the telly…
Get a smaller telly.
Annnnnd again. Nice little bonus from work . Within 10 days a letter from HMRC arrives meaning the net effect of my bonus is £29.62.
On the plus side, I'm £29.62 better off than I was yesterday...
I think some of us are born to stuck mediocre, praise be. 🙂
Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; BASTARD!!!
Could start a thread for what performance enhancing component can I buy for my bike for £29.62?
Annnnnd again. Nice little bonus from work . Within 10 days a letter from HMRC arrives meaning the net effect of my bonus is £29.62.
wait to see what tomorrows post brings. a couple of years ago I got three letter in three days from HMRC, first one was a demand for ~£2500, second one a revised demand for ~£800 and the last one a cheque for £500.
Annnnnd again. Nice little bonus from work . Within 10 days a letter from HMRC arrives meaning the net effect of my bonus is £29.62.
On the plus side, I’m £29.62 better off than I was yesterday…
Think how much worse off you'd have been without the bonus
Not read the thread, but this is about your outlook, not what your life is like.
Think how much worse off you’d have been without the bonus
This.
Just for clarity, my post was light hearted. I've drawn out 30 Euro and treated the family to a boat trip around the Med 😀
Buy a vintage Audi brochure from EBay with that bonus. Riches indeed. My bonus was spent on an unexpected tax bill.
For 30 Euros you've got the take the whole family round the Med and your complaining about your luck!