[Closed] Just had row with next door neighbour

No offence, but this - "I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat", this - "My husband plays drums", this - "a barbecue which of course blows the smoke into our garden" and this - "unbroken nights sleep with their baby crying" make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

You need to start taking a more hardline approach

[img] [/img]

lol @

I often take in all the parcels full of tat that she buys from China

6/10 - no swearing or subtle hints at violence.

Sounds like you're not cut out for having a house adjoined to someone else's 🙂

I think i might be your neighbour, without the kiddy 🙂

Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control. Either that or have them....taken care of.

Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control.

+1

It's great this hot weather, innit. Brings out the best in people. 😐

I do hope bunnyhop doesn't revisit this thread, it's not going to be calming.

Need to start throwing used female sanitary products over the fence I reckon. Double points for getting them in the pond, Triple for the trampoline.

Do you want us all to come round for a massive all night party, with a whopping great big sound system on the back of a flat bed truck?

[img] [/img]

make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

That is why I rarely start a thread you often end up the victim of someone elses need to have a pop pointlessly

Agre ewith nip it in the bud though they seem a bit chavvy [ see I will take your grief now ]

That is why I rarely start a thread you often end up the victim of someone elses need to have a pop pointlessly

Coward.

🙂

[quote=theflatboy ]No offence, but this - "I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat", this - "My husband plays drums", this - "a barbecue which of course blows the smoke into our garden" and this - "unbroken nights sleep with their baby crying" make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

Gosh you've got a very active imagination.

Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control. Either that or have them....taken care of.

Tried that after falling out with my neighbours. They took the wine, slammed the door in my face, and haven't spoken a word since. Uneasy truce, I think.

I'm really not having a pop, but the bit about the baby crying was the tipping point, as the parent of an 11-month old. Not really much you can do about crying babies - coincidentally our neighbour above plays the drums. We never mention it, he doesn't seem bothered about the crying baby. Give and take, and all that.

We also have barbecues...

[i]Sounds like you're not cut out for having a house adjoined to someone else's[/i]

Is anyone?

Bunnyhop's neighbours, yesterday:
[img] [/img]

Agre ewith nip it in the bud though they seem a bit chavvy

kayak23 - Member

Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control.

Indeed, and when they've gone out, draw a big peenor on their lawn using vinegar.

Lets be honest a lot of the points raised in the OP seem pretty academic and irrelevant to the issue. I take the OP's point about car fumes filling the bedroom though as I suppose that could be a bit annoying.

Kayak23 is totally right imo and I would just go round and apologise and avoid the inevitable years of acrimony with a ten minute chat.

Regardless of whether you're right or wrong it will be for the best in the long run, maybe just make up some bullshit about some other stressful situation that tipped you over the edge or whatever.

make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

Leave it they are both lovely

What JY said...

"I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat"

Yes, that is stupid. Never talk about others' little preciousssssss ...

Let the child roast and boil until the fresh fall off like freshly roasted piglet. Then lick the tear off the parents cheeks for not taking your advice.

Alternatively, live and let live after all it's summer ...

My mate is a grumpy bloke but if he lives next door to me he would meet my mate Benelli M4 in the face. I told him that. 😆

go round with some wine? by the sounds of them a 4L bottle of cider might be more appealing.

'm really not having a pop, but the bit about the baby crying was the tipping point, as the parent of an 11-month old

Thankfully ours were deaf so it was a non issue but we did discuss it with them as we assumed it would be waking them

Sounds like they're more likely to appreciate a bag of skunk than a poxy bottle of vinegar. 😉

No need for nasty comments. 😐

Children's thermostats are different to adult thermostats. Bunnyhop was absolutely right to be concerned about the child.

patriotpro - Member

Sounds like they're more likely to appreciate a bag of skunk than a poxy bottle of vinegar.

Or get them hook on meth then treat/use them as slaves ... 😈

Go with the wine suggestion. Which one you opt for is the only dilemma

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[i] Bunnyhop was absolutely right to [s]be concerned about the child.[/s][/i] stick her nose in. 😉

lol@binners
Why was the kid in the car on the drive anyway? cooling down with the air con?

Start digging out for your new patio or under a pond is a good one too so I've heard

[i]cooling down with the air con? [/i]

but bunnyhop said the car windows were open?

maybe the kid was asleep when she pulled up after going out and she wanted her to sleep a bit longer?

There's a big section of people in here really don't like people who are "working class" isn't there?

Said it before and I'll say it again - your snobbery says a lot more about you than it does about them.

edlong - there's working class and there's scumbags.
Do you have to be working class to smoke and leave your kid in a car?
Get real.

Children's thermostats are different to adult thermostats

just to clear things up, your neighbour's toddler was sat in the car on the drive with the air con on keeping it cool because it was hot outside?

[quote=brakes ]just to clear things up, your neighbour's toddler was sat in the car on the drive with the air con on keeping it cool because it was hot outside?

with the engine running and the windows open, usually. And it;s not to keep her cool, it's the get her to sleep as "she sleeps better there", it's happpened all through winter too (although with the windows closed then)

Not really much you can do about crying babies

That is twaddle - There is shit loads you can do about crying babies.

Step 1 - Try to figure out why they are crying and fix it.
Step 2 - If you aren't able to fix it take the baby to the point of the house where it will least affect the neighbours

I've heard of some middle class folks leaving their children in far more vulnerable places.

edlong - there's working class and there's scumbags.
Do you have to be working class to smoke and leave your kid in a car?
Get real.

No, so perhaps you can explain where the assumptions about liking 4 litre bottles of cider, or Lambrini, smoking meth, "being a bit chavvy" or looking like Harry Enfield characters come from? These are the kinds of comments that get made, aren't they? That's the thing though, in here it seems that people are more offended by someone "being a bit chavvy". There's more snobbery than concern about a child's welfare in the thread I'm reading.

Children's thermostats are different to adult thermostats. Bunnyhop was absolutely right to be concerned about the child.

Apart from the aircon mentioned - which means it might have been the coolest place for him/her to be......

Neighbours - sometimes a strain, sometimes a pleasure. These days I have work colleagues for neighbours which brings its own peculiar issues. It's quite hard to take someone seriously in a meeting when you have seen him in his wife's pink frilly dressing gown nipping out to the bins 30mins before or (more worryingly) have a rational work conversation with someone when they have kept you up all night with a high volume door slamming, crockery throwing heated row.

ehhh, nbt = bunnyhop?

ehhh, nbt = bunnyhop?

A Couple

Thanks Jy and Teetosugars.

I have already apologised to the neighbour, however she's not having any of it. I even tried to put my arm around her as she was in such a state.

I also tried to quell her tirade by saying hello to the baby (of which I was accused of waking up, even though it was the mother who was doing all the shouting)and was told not to speak to her. Oh well.

Snob me never 😉

I'm just nipping out to the back garden now to throw back over the fence all the rubbish that they fling our way, you know fag ends, bits of old tat, plastic bags, cardboard etc.

Step 1 - Try to figure out why they are crying and fix it.
Step 2 - If you aren't able to fix it take the baby to the point of the house where it will least affect the neighbours

That's not exactly shitloads. And in a terrace, there aren't many places. Unless you stick it in the car with the aircon on...and look at the trouble that can cause. 🙂

Thing is - will it escalate?

Are these the kind of neighbours who'll glower at you for a while and then forget all about it, or are they Neighbours from Hell - who'll try to dismantle your lives until you move out?

Neighbours from Hell happened to my cousin... she and her family are out of that house, still trying to rent it to cover their mortgage.

Pah, kids stuff. I threatened to break my neighbours legs last time he was being an arse (damaging my garden wall). He hasn't spoken to me since but then he also hasn't damaged my property again so it must have done the trick. I think being unfailingly polite for several years and then going totally bats**t crazy at him provided a certain element of surprise.

Some people will be bad neighbours however polite and reasonable you try to be with them. The OP either needs to accept the fact she lives next door to inconsiderate chavs and get on with her life or she can take action such as speaking to the council about excessive noise from her neighbours at inappropriate times (there are laws against that sort of thing). Oh yes, and stick some sharp tacks or nails in your veg patch just below the soil. Similar approach stopped my neighbours cat digging up my pot plants and flower beds. They are sharp but because they aren't attached to anything they don't hurt the cat; just give it an unpleasant surprise and they soon learn to dig elsewhere.

And in a terrace, there aren't many places

Downstairs is a good start!

Can I just say - that I love babies and never have complained about it crying, the crying never bothered me, however it did and does keep our young nephew awake.

We had some pretty hellish neighbours move in next door a few years back. I was pretty hostile at first, and to be honest, it just starts eating you up. So now, we're all about the lovin'. Offer them a sausage and a beer if they're out when we've got the barbecue on. Generally shoot the breeze and help them if they're trying to clear any shit up from their overgrown back garden. Life is much more pleasant now. They're pretty agreeable to any requests e.g not to smoke under deadly junior's bedroom window, to clear their dog's poo up more than once a quarter and the tv gets turned down at night now.

now, we're all about the lovin'. Offer them a sausage

I have the strangest...

Downstairs is a good start!

Not in any terraces I know.

I have the strangest...

Yes i was reading about you earlier

[url= http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/15/fractured-husbands-penis-peyronies-disease?INTCMP=SRCH ]fractured his penis?[/url]

Its the guardian problem page sop probably safe for work

Anyone who thinks it is fine to play the drums at home has no right to complain about noise as it is the most antisocial selfish thing to do, most drummers would agree with that and play at studios etc, modern electric drum kits are more than good enough to practice with using headphones as it is practice after all not belting out to a crowd! (can you tell I live near one lol)

Also being a parent crying kids are a fact of life get over it (I make sure my kids are as quiet as possible and are in bed from 7pm so no trouble at all.

But taking your side for a minute parties, barbecues, smoking/drug taking around kids makes them A class ****s who I would be on to the social about (had that once where the mother use to abuse her kid as well, after lots of work with the police and social got the kid taken away and her evicted).

So as has been said already I am glad I don't live next to either of you lol

I don't get how people can't think of others, I have my TV quiet in the evenings, given up listening to music as I don't want to inflict that on people, when I used to work on my Landy with power tools I would go to all the neighbours and tell them when I was doing it to make sure it was okay and to apologise in advance, hell I won't even wash my bike in the garden until 10 am or so.

If everyone was considerate and thought of others the world would be such a nicer place

Car on the drive, engine running, baby inside; this bit worries me the most. It would only take a second for the worst to happen and it wouldn't be the first time.

hell I won't even wash my bike in the garden until 10 am or so.

Washing your bike involves making a lot of noise ?

Also being a parent crying kids are a fact of life get over it

Eh? In the politest way possible, being a parent is a choice and parents (a group I will soon be joining) should do their best as not to disturb others. I appreciate that this can be difficult but telling people to "get over" noise coming from your house demonstrates a pretty shit attitude.

[quote=feisty ]Anyone who thinks it is fine to play the drums at home has no right to complain about noise as it is the most antisocial selfish thing to do, most drummers would agree with that and play at studios etc, modern electric drum kits are more than good enough to practice with using headphones as it is practice after all not belting out to a crowd! (can you tell I live near one lol)

I'll bite 🙂

After a ten-year layoff, I started playing again last year so that we could do a few numbers at the works christmas do. Most practice was done in the office after working hours, but I did the odd half hour practice session at home, always using drum mutes, and always finished before 8.30pm. It was a good laugh and we've carried on - we've new found a rehearsal room to practice in, and I'm looking for a reasonable priced electronic kit to use at home. It's not my "main" hobby though, so I'm not about to spend a fortune on a practice kit.

In any case though, the complaint wasn't about noise - it was abut the neighbour leaving the car running to get the child to sleep. The noise was mentioned in passing is all

[quote=feisty ]
If everyone was considerate and thought of others the world would be such a nicer place

QFT.

Actually its plain dumb.
Engine overheats and car catches fire - seen it happen
Sun through glass burns baby so bad it needs hospital treatment - seen it happen
Idiot scrote steals car with baby in - not seen it but read about it
Plus environmental issues wrt noise and air pollution
It is also a road traffic offence to leave a vehicle running with no-one in the drivers seat on a highway

I used to turn my neighbours cars off outside my bedroom window at 0600 in the winter when they used to let them rattle away for 10 mins whilst they had their toast.

maybe best to leave it for today and write an apology BH ? even if you dont mean it

That is twaddle - There is shit loads you can do about crying babies.

Yes, there are all the things you try to keep you occupied until the baby stops crying of his or her own free will.

someone I know used to drive round in the car with their baby in the back because it was the only way that it would sleep during the day (and sometimes during the night). seems crazy, but parents do crazy things to get their kids to sleep.
sounds like your neighbours are doing the lazy/ dangerous version of this.

We were all babies once. We all cried. Probably to the point that we pissed someone off at some stage. So listening to another baby crying is life coming back round to get you. 🙂

brakes, there's a car advert running on the telly at the moment based on that exact thing (Dads out driving babies, they start crying when the eco-engine thing switches off at the lights).

It's all about being reasonable isn't it. My neighbour plays the drums. I have 2 kids. He apologies for the noise he causes. I apologise for the noise my kids cause. There's no doubt that they get pissed off with it from time to time, as do I. Tolerance of other people and understanding that they have the right to live their lives and you just might be slightly inconvenienced by them is where it's at.

Babies cry for a reason, you just have to figure out why. Some people don't figure it out or cba'd so fail to understand why everyone else should be tolerant.

Do parenting classes exist? They're clearly needed for some people, not everyone can be an Earth Mother!

I may or may not be trolling. 😉

Self confessed Troll. Reports to Moderator for immediate lifetime ban.... 🙂

Babies cry for a reason, you just have to figure out why.

My eldest used to cry in the car if it wasn't running. He'd stop once you set off.

Engine running ??
Child in the car ??

Easy option would be sneak in and drive it around the corner ...

Any help ?? 👿

Unbelievable to me the waste of fuel / damage to the environment running a car engine in that way. Get over it. We have had hot days before air con was invented. People who run engines just for their own "comfort" - grrrr.

ononeorange - couldn't have put it better myself.

clear any shit up from their overgrown back garden. Life is much more pleasant now. They're pretty agreeable to any requests e.g not to smoke under deadly junior's bedroom window, to clear their dog's poo up more than once a quarter and the tv gets turned down at night now.

Feisty - have you actually read the whole of this thread?

I hear ya Bunnyhop. To be fair, they do sound like hard work. Life in constant conflict is even harder though. I hope you and nbt get it sorted. 🙂

dd - thanks, as I said we are unbelievably lucky that all the other neighbours are great and get on, in fact can't do enough for each other.

The boyfriend isn't too bad, she wears the trousers, so he gets quite a bit of ear ache at the weekend.

Right off to invite all our friends round for a wild party at the weekend, you're all invited.
Binners - bring those loud speakers 😉

How horrid Bunnyhop! You just don't deserve any of that. Sounds like they have some really serious issues & I'm afraid I don't have much useful advice for you. However, I've had trouble with my neighbours in the past, albeit I live in a far less tasteful area, and I tried to communicate in an adult manner. Also tried to come to a compromise with the issue at hand. It ended up with them burning my fence down while i was at work!! If it wasn't for my neighbours ( the other side) making a human chain for throwing buckets of water over the fire to put if out, my house wouldn't be here!
What I'm saying is that if they're are the type to do those things then be careful how you tread with them - some people can be really nasty! I think an uncomfortable truce is maybe the best way??? By the way, I'm sure they won't burn your house down of course!

And if I may be so bold as to suggest.... Leave me the house for a week - it's been a few years since I've not cared about the neighbours when my music was on! 😈

Doesnt your bedroom have closable windows to keep the funes out ?

As above if you fight fire with fire, you could be fighting with a pyromaniac 🙁 Might have been better if you'd left it a few days to cool off before trying to apologise. In a totally sane world, she would have accepted her actions as less than perfect. In this one, your comment was viewed as a pretty personal attack. I'd pursue the uneasy truce, maybe via your respective partners 😉

I can empathise with this... it's not the issues, it's the disproportionate response blowing up and attacking.

Unfortunately that's the general uneducated response to a slightly confrontational situation.

Try and keep it civil and repare relationships when you can, no point living at odds with neighbours if you can help it.

I've mortgaged myself up to the eyeball to buy a detached house with big distances between me and neighbours due to similar experiences... annoyingly now I feel like I'm the nuisance noisy neighbour in my sleepy retirement suburb now and have to be really careful when using power tools late or early etc and feel guilty when I throw a BBQ.

ononeorange - Member
Unbelievable to me the waste of fuel / damage to the environment running a car engine in that way. Get over it. We have had hot days before air con was invented. People who run engines just for their own "comfort" - grrrr.

Turned the heating on last winter? Then you've not got a leg to stand on with that rant!

Solarpowered I remember you telling me about the fire. that really is terrible.

trail rat - why should I have to close the windows on one of the hottest days of the year when working from home?

Have spoken to another neighbour who overheard the shouting and was concerned about me.

A lot of you on here have been saying how you wouldn't want to live next to me personally. That's fine.
However as a person who has gone to look after neighbours when in need (they know I work from home), who is considerate about noise, always tries to cut the grass when it won't wake a baby up, lends bike tools and other equipment out to people and most of all is trying to live a green, quiet life, I don't think we're so bad.

Oh and thanks to all the lovely people who have personally mailed me with support and best wishes.

I've decided after apologising to leave things at that. I have to accept there are people (and luckily I don't know many) who are inconsiderate, selfish and will only ever care about themselves.

Five days till we move awAy from our nightmare neighbours.
HTH. 😉

Oh, and I just found out our adjoining neighbour is a roadie.
Best make friends with him by taking him out for a quick ride, aka the leg ripper