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It's only 10:29.
I panicked.
I always tell them "Sorry, someone claiming to be Christ already came this morning and told me not to listen to you guys."
Least they left me with some cheery reading material.
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[img][url= https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3869/32530802424_682d756849_z.jp g" target="_blank">https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3869/32530802424_682d756849_z.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/RyCScS ]Nailed it[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/126516346@N08/ ]Phillip Dalton[/url], on Flickr[/img]
5 pages once the uber-atheists join in.
I just say no thank you and close the door. Not hard and no need to be rude.
I just say no thank you and close the door. Not hard and no need to be rude.
Oh I was polite, always am, but after a minute of talking about teen suicide I made my excuses and left.
Just picked a pretty shitty one. She even wished me a nice lunch.
Just picked a pretty shitty one.
Not to anyone who has tried one of Jamie Oliver's 15 minute recipes.
I'm an intelligent atheist who enjoys nothing better than spending half an hour on a Saturday morning, stood at the door debating and debunking a "believer". It really sets me up for the weekend.
I also enjoy "stringing along" telephone marketeers & cold callers.
My old boss once told me an amusing tale, although I have no idea whether it's true or not. He was house sitting for a neighbor who lived two doors down. Jehovah's Witnesses called and he politely told them he wasn't interested.
He then legged it around the back of the houses to his own. They knocked on his door and allegedly looked utterly shocked to see him. He said "what did I just say? " then shut the door.
I've always really hoped it was a true story.
I have a couple who visit quite regularly - every 2 months or so. They're very nice people and I just don't have the heart to say I'm not interested and please don't come back.
They usually stop by on a Saturday so now I'm wary if the doorbell rings and I won't answer if I suspect it's them 😉
I'm looking forward to your next exciting adventure.
They always pick the most vulnerable people in society to try and turn don't they? The "no-hopers". I almost imagine i'll fall off my bike one day and be lying on the ground and someone'll come up and say "Have you thought about believing in God?"...
Just tell them you've been disfellowshiped.
I once met a small group of Mormon missionaries in the town centre on a Saturday evening, poor souls looked so out of place amidst the drunks.
Had a fairly long chat/discussion/argument with them, my premise being that Christianity in general was descended from older religions & that the Mormon faith was based in the American desire to be at the centre of everything even a 2000yr old Middle Eastern faith.
In the end they said they would look up the histories of the older faiths & gave me their book - its an odd belief system & I found it extremely self-congratulatory in the idea of Americans* being a 'chosen people'.
*Mormon Americans of course.
They all seemed very nice, very earnest middle class Yanks, like sheep surrounded by wolves in Rochdale on a Saturday night of course!
'No thanks, we're Satanists'.
beaker - Member
Just tell them you've been disfellowshiped.
This or saying you're an apostate will make JWs go away pretty fast if they're persistent.
Least they left me with some cheery reading material.
That's your first mistake. Accept their pamphlets and they think they're 'in', they'll be back every other week for months.
The last one I had woke me up one Sunday. I had a stinking hangover and woke up with a dead leg. I fell down three times hobbling to the door and almost went full length down the stairs. Opened the the door to be met with two besatchelled JWs and some kid. "Tell me sir," they said, "what do you think is the cause of the problems in the world today?" I managed, "lack of sleep on a Sunday morning" before shutting the door.
I've not had one in years now. I expect they don't get a high degree of conversion in a largely Muslim area.
'No thanks, we're Satanists'.
Then you're definitely in need of salvation. (-:
Mate of mine years ago answered to the door to the JWs. He had a Megadeth tee-shirt on and some death metal blasting out. They took one look at him, went "er, sorry, wrong house" and scarpered.
They always pick the most vulnerable people in society to try and turn don't they? The "no-hopers".
It okay you can say fat bike owners
saying you're an apostate will make JWs go away pretty fast if they're persistent.
Yep. Their mortal enemy is the Royal Mail 😉
I had a stuck tensioner bolt on an alternator.
2 Mormons stopped on the drive way to ask if my.mate and I needed the help if Jesus or Christ something along those lines
For reasons they could not fully explain they didn't think it was appropriate that God helped us with the stuck bolt.
If ever there was a moment where they could have swung our belief it was then.
We eventually gave up and took it to Geoff in the town who sorted it out
At least you won't be hungry when you burn in hell...
Edit. Turns out I agree with them on one thing...
Jehovah's Witnesses believe death is a state of non-existence with no consciousness. There is no Hell of fiery torment;
JW's appear every couple of weeks around here, one said to me last Summer "you really look after that car don't you"
It hadn't been cleaned for a few weeks.
for those that haven't seen it
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They always pick the most vulnerable people in society to try and turn don't they? The "no-hopers".
Bit harsh on Jamie. 🙂
Or were you referring to STWers in general?
Interestingly the Jw who stand around Munich in the pedestrian zone have similar pamphlets about teen depression.
Last summer one young girl fainted outside the bakery.
Years ago, my mate Alex's older brother answered the door...
"Have you seen the light?"
He turns round, flicks the light switch and says "100 watts", smiled and closed the door. Had us in stitches.
Years ago, my mate Alex's older brother answered the door...
"Have you seen the light?"
He turns round, flicks the light switch and says "100 watts", smiled and closed the door. Had us in stitches.
Reefer madness....
I had a visit from those two nice young men up there. They had a rucksack with a projector in it and offered to show me some films!
Love the story about the guy nipping between houses. I too have a JW story and you lucky people are going to get to read it, hold onto your hats!
Years ago I crashed at a mate's flat after a Friday night on the beers. He was working overtime on the Saturday morning so with a "shut the door on your way out" he left me lying on the sofa watching telly. Little while later a there's a knock on the door, lad and Dad JW's, keen as mustard the pair of them. Quickly tried to think of an excuse to get rid of them and had a flash of inspiration and told them "look, it's my flatmate. His life is spiralling out of control, he has a problems with drinking and gambling. All his friends and family have tried talking to him about it but he's in denial".
Their eyes were lighting up with delight hearing this.
"He needs some direction in life and I think people like yourselves have the best chance of getting through to him and helping him turn his life around. The thing is you'll need to be persistent, like I said he's in denial. He's in tomorrow morning but he's going out early so you'll need to call around half seven, is that OK?"
Of course they were almost hopping with joy at the prospect. The added bonus was that my mate had been seeing a girl for a few weeks and Saturday night was the first time she was staying over at his.
The next morning at about quarter to eight my phone rang - "you UTTER, UTTER ****!". When he'd finished swearing and I'd finished laughing he told me that one of them even put his foot in the door and he had to shut it on him quite hard to force the door closed. He also had some explaining to do to the new GF who was lying in bed listening to them imploring him to accept help for his problems. What a fun wheeze eh? Mega chortz!
Interestingly the Jw who stand around Munich in the pedestrian zone have similar pamphlets about teen depression.Last summer one young girl fainted outside the bakery.
The EU in a nutshell, the sooner we take back control the better.
I was always fairly polite with door knockers, until a bunch turned up a few weeks after the Asian tsunami saying that was a sign that the world was about to end and it was time to get on their bus.
Making a disaster like that a selling point was a bit dispicable.
Mind, I used to work with a real christian. He came into the office beaming one day saying "Christ has risen".
One of the old lags said "It's half past one; is he on nights?" and it was never mentioned again.
I've not had one in years now. I
Witness Protection Programme?
just had microsoft support on getting me to type in enentvwr....dragged it out for a good while before hanging up
The new part was the guy at least rang me back to tell me to suck his .... for wasting his time
nearly let out a little wee laughing
alpin - Member
Interestingly the Jw who stand around Munich in the pedestrian zone have similar pamphlets about teen depression.
They have the same magazines worldwide, local printing operations in many countries, and a big HQ in Brooklyn. They also recently switched focus to street preaching like that after decades of not many people being at home during the day.
I was raised as a JW, and exited sharply after reading a load of Kurt Vonnegut in my teens. I have absolutely no time for their beliefs, some of which are deeply harmful to people. Here's the funniest thing the happened to me while knocking on doors though:
One guy I used to drop the magazines with was a little odd, but always very enthusiastic. This one time he was a bit jumpy, wearing a grubby t-shirt and jorts. He opened with a suspicious "Hello? Who is it?" from the other side of the door, and when he realised it was me "Sorry, it's just your friend looks like a policeman". As the conversation went on I noticed his flies were low and bulging a bit. He then stops us mid sentence with "just so you know, when you knocked on the door, I wasn't doing anything untoward".
We eventually gave up and took it to Geoff in the town who sorted it out
Geoff Vader?
Reefer madness....
I lolled
A mate of mine opened the door to lads who introduced themselves as Jehovas witnesses , his response,
" I didn't even know he had an accident"
From the Jehovah's Witness...
The Bible commands us to avoid sexual immorality. This includes not only intercourse but also other unclean acts between unmarried people, such as fondling the genitals of another person or engaging in oral or anal sex.
...I'm out.
I think that a persons religeous beliefs are a very personal thing and not something that should be sold door to door like double glazing . That said I have always told Jehovas Witnesses that I am a blood donor which usually gets them gone .
It's not a religious belief though, it's a business model, like selling knock off dysons.
I feel left out, I've never had the crazies knock on my door.
If there is a God I bet he hates these mithering,exponents of weird bellendry
Quirrel - MemberI had a stuck tensioner bolt on an alternator.
2 Mormons stopped on the drive way to ask if my.mate and I needed the help if Jesus or Christ something along those lines
Weirdly I had exactly the same thing with a stuck bolt on a wheel bearing.Had the blowtorch on it and the impact out, they asked if I'd ever thought about what Jesus could do to help me in my life, I said could he send me a well aimed lightning bolt? To their eternal (possibly) credit they said no, that's not really a Jesus sort of thing, Jesus is more about pamphlets.
Jesus is more about pamphlets.
I thought that was Om.
I can retell my JW story at last!
I had to visit a property in a nearby suburb. Drove past it to park up just as some JWs marched up the drive.
Once I'd grabbed my papers and got to the house, the two JWs came rushing back out the house looking flustered.
The lady of the house had assumed that the people on her doorstep with clipboards and a briefcase must be the man from the council she was expecting, and had ushered them in and through to her front room. Which had been cleared of all furniture and fitted out as a pole dancing studio, with said pole taking pride of place in the centre of the room. Not quite what the JWs were expecting - or me for that matter.
I reckon the tenant could have converted at least one of the JWs!