[Closed] How to introduce myself to a hottie on my commute?

You could try doing a boom gnarly skid, but be careful not to get her pregnant.

'Hi I'm Kit, nice bike'

'Yeah my bf/husband built it for me'

*Akward Silence*

😛

pulls up leather armchair, dons smoking jacket, and awaits.........

Engineer a massive crash as she approaches you and as she tends you, tell her that you were lost in her beauty and utterly forgot to ride your bike.

Then pull a bunch of flowers from your bag and hand them to her, complete with a card containing your contact details...

Like that advert, write 'Hi' on the bottom a coffee mug and sit waiting for her. Drink it in perfect time for when she comes past.

Then knock her out with your wang.

1)Ride along behind her just keeping an appropriate distance.
2)Follow her wherever she's going.
3)Lurk around the Biffa bins allday whilst she's at work.
4)Follow her to wherever she goes in the evening.
5)Be there the next day when she leaves for work.
Repeat from step 1.

If it goes well you might even be able to steal some underwear from her washing line to add to all the headcam footage stills you adourn your bedroom walls with.

sobriety - Member
'Hi I'm Kit, nice bike'

'Yeah my bf/husband built it for me'

*Akward Silence*

Ditto

Or get ahead a bit, fake a puncture, stop her and ask if she has a pump 😯

Works for me

Scatter broken glass on her route, so that you can help her fix the inevitable puncture.

But never, ever mention that you've done this, even after you're married. She will never forgive you.

1)Ride along behind her just keeping an appropriate distance.
2)Follow her wherever she's going.
3)Lurk around the Biffa bins allday whilst she's at work.
4)Follow her to wherever she goes in the evening.
5)Be there the next day when she leaves for work.
Repeat from step 1.

Best thing Ive read on here all week.

get a mate to push her in the canal as she goes past so you can rescue her?

it does require fairly good timing and for your mate to understand *exactly* where he's supposed to be, though, or you just read about it in the local paper the followign day.

You ever seen the movie 50 first dates.
If not i suggest you watch it, he tries tonnes of ways to get her attention. SOOOOO funny

Try talking, it goes along way.

Start with the Contador style trigger salute as you blast past her. She'll like that 🙂

skills course required here i think.
this one is popular.
[url= http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/crime/santa-monica-bike-groper/ ]Cyclists guide to Chatting up the Women[/url]

I mentally formed the sentence "Hi. I'm obviously only starting this conversation because you're exceedingly good-looking, but that is a very cool bike." yesterday morning while waiting for the lights to change at Aldwych.

But it didn't come out of my mouth. Which is probably a good thing. 🙂

Wheelies... chicks love wheelies.

I'm surprised your fame (notoriety?) and good looks haven't already overcome her 🙂

You ever seen the movie 50 first dates.
If not i suggest you watch it, he tries tonnes of ways to get her attention. SOOOOO funny

I probably wouldnt bother. The chances of it as being as good as the reply from TS Yeti are slim

Or get ahead a bit, fake a puncture, stop her and ask if she has a pump

Kit: Would you like a pump?
Hottie: Sorry?
Kit: Er I mean, do you have a pump?

Is it a white diamond back? IF so I probably know her, seriously!

this her?

[img] [/img]

Her cup-holder contains a cup of piss, with a straw. Avoid. 😯

"Hey, that's a really nice, uh, saddle you've got there"

Her cup-holder contains a cup of piss, with a straw. Avoid

Or not....it might be the thing that drew Kit's attention to her.

Oh and [url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/anyone-in-the-surrey-hills-area-recognise-this-chap ]geetee1972[/url] to the thread please.

trouser malfunction

Kit. How were you thinking this would work? Just out of interest? 😀

this her?

Not far off, actually! I'm taking notes gents, cheers 🙂

Kit. How were you thinking this would work? Just out of interest?

I am assuming it will involve some of those tear off stripper trousers.

Kit
Have you seen
[url= http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/weirdo-on-my-commute-keeps-leering-at-me-should-i-get-the-bus ]this thread[/url]
😆

"Morning. You know that thing in the free papers where they have "I saw you on the tube and you were cute, call me"? It's kinda a shame they don't have one for cyclists, although I'm not really sure those things really work anyway. Anyhoo. The point I'm making is, if there was a section in Cycling Weekly like that, I'd probably be putting an entry in there to try and get your attention. But since there isn't I've engineered this trouser malfunction so that we could have this conversation and so that I could give you this card, which has my telephone number, my email address and my facebook and twitter accounts on it and I wonder perhaps if you'd like to maybe hang out sometime. Yes. Anyway. Think about it. "

Why not just take mental pictures for later use like the rest of us?

....or an actual picture. Just make sure the flash is turned off.

Well if you don't want to start with stalking her (I always call my [s]vicitms[/s] girlfriends Penelope BTW) then I have a Plan B for you.. it goes like this...

Pull a wheelie as you pass her, give her a massive obvious sideways glance, if you can take a hand off the bars to wave all the better, finish the wheelie still looking at her by crashing into a bus stop...

...if she keeps on riding go back to my plan A.

start by making eye contact and smiling.

if she smiles back, repeat once (but no more) then:

have a flower to give her as you pass? (no idea why, but flowers have ALWAYS been well recieved ime)

leave a note tied to the flower?

warning, i have no idea about women, but that's what i'd do under the circumstances...

Start with the Contador style trigger salute as you blast past her

Do not, I repeat, do not wear lycra!
[img] [/img]

Do you have to stop at any point during you journey together? (engineer it so you stop together)
Obviously easier to talk to some-one when you both stopped, then make a comment about the bike/riding/how goddam fit she is..

Last day of my commute (changed job) I had a nice young lady start talking to me @ the traffic lights, about how [cycle] fit I was, to blast past her everyday (it was a very short commute for me).
Compliments work well.. hope she didn't think she scared me off the commute as I disappeared after that, though she was probably just making conversation...

i cant believe you pass her...if it were me i'd just stay right on that back wheel, rohipnol blow dart primed and ready... 😈

Next week is also my last week at work, so unless I'm up early on my holidays I'm unlikely to catch her. And when I say 'catch' I don't mean with like a bear trap or something. Maybe a net though...

so you've not told us where you commute from and too and at what time....

I'm sick to death of Hora's rohypnol blow darts. Its not that I mind so much what he does to me to while I'm out cold. Its the bruises and scars I've got from constantly falling off my bike as i pass out.

Its worth remembering that.

Why no bear trap? She'll be much easier to keep if she can't run.

I'm a leg and bum man, myself, so I'd hate to ruin her.

Damn... I have a foot fetish...

I thought 'ruining her' was the ultimate goal?

Lets see how long Hora takes to chip in with reference to flash grenades etc. I'm surprised he's not already

**** it then, if you not going to be left with an embarrassing situation (doing the same commute every day with her, with awkward silences/glaring), then just ask her for her number (nothing else)... she can only say no, she may say yes!
.
I live with an extremely pretty and intelligent young lady, who I thought I'd never have a chance with.. I just asked in the end, and she (very) surprisingly said yes. Admittedly we did work in the same office, so I had at least a chance to talk to her first & not be a total psycho asking her out of the blue.. 😆

WTF @ the comments on the news story linked above:
[i]
It is a shame men and women can perform such ill mannered act of ill hated ethical demeanor. This is what produces a mean imaged humanity and creates just such ugliness within humanity as a whole entity[/i]

Ask her where she got the bike from as your workmate/sister is looking for somthing similar.. would she recommend the bike/shop she got it from etc thats a fairly harmless icebreaker and not too direct.

Or just pass her a nice note saying you would be available for coffee sometime if she is interested and this is your number or email.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Shyness can be very appealing to women - glossy and very confident implies you have made a similar approach to too many other women.

Squeeze a tit and go "beep beep"?

EDIT for tit read boob

Next week is also my last week at work, so unless I'm up early on my holidays I'm unlikely to catch her. And when I say 'catch' I don't mean with like a bear trap or something. Maybe a net though...

If its your last week, then just stump up the courage to ask her what her name is.

Hi there, this is possibly the last i'll be cycling this route, but anytime i've passed i've thought you were dead cute. Whats your name?

or

'ere doll, ah pure fancy you by the way, geez a gobble...

😯

[img] [/img]

Like so.

to be serious for a minute:
Just stop her saying "excuse me" . Then say something like "this probably sounds a bit strange but you look nice and friendly and I was wondering if you fancied a drink sometime". She will either say yes (good) or say no (but most women would be flattered regardless). Don't engineer something - it's probably go wrong and you'll end up looking like a ****!

aww, I like mastiles_fanylion's suggestion - flowers from a complete stranger would brighten my day, and I don't even like flowers.

Can't you just smile nicely at her - and judging by her response, (slow down to talk or speed away 'cause you're scary looking) follow on from there?

Stick a post it note with 'how about it luv' written on, on the end of a broom handle and wave it in her direction as you pass.

You have nothing to lose and you're running out of time. AG is spot on stop her, tell her you'd like to get to know her better and would she be up for a drink or coffee.

Worst she can say is no.

Yay, sensible responses! I am a coward, and I know its just a case of breaking the ice, so thanks for some tips from the ladies. Insider knowledge and all that 🙂

[i]Just stop her saying "excuse me" . Then say something like "this probably sounds a bit strange but you look nice and friendly and I was wondering if you fancied a drink sometime". She will either say yes (good) or say no (but most women would be flattered regardless). Don't engineer something - it's probably go wrong and you'll end up looking like a ****! [/i]

Oh be quiet, what would you know 😉

Seriously, massive skids. Chicks dig 'em.

Just concoct an imaginary fantasy about her and hold on to it for the next 10 years. The sex will be far better that way too 🙂

If you can't pluck up the courage to speak, just write it all down on one of those chalk boards they use at the TDF and flash it as you ride past. When she's ridden into the canal laughing at your pearls of wisdom, rescue her and bob's your uncle.

Try and remember that just cos she looks hot and rides a bike does not mean you's get on at all - i.e. it's not a big deal.

50 First Dates style: write something on your back/rucksack (that might mean stopping just before you get to her to attach it). Cycle past the first day with a "Hi, I'm Kit." sign and look back at her as you pass. The next day have a "What's your name?" sign and hope the next day she tells you.

just be like

"hey your saddle looks uncomfortable, how about sitting on my face?"

don't leave it as an option, make it a mandatory statement!

"Hi, I'm Kit."

"What's your name?"

Hopefully not Michael!

[img] [/img]

Hello Michael

either

a. Shy away from any actual contact, ask what to do on a bike forum, fantasise endlessly then go home and masturbate until your penis is nothing but a bloody stump.

b. Stiff arm her into the bushes and go out for a bike ride.

HTH

on sunday night chalk up "call me for a good time 079098xxxxxx etc" on the road in a big heart shape at the lights you always stop at.
monday morning make sure you get there just before her and subtley draw her attention to it and grin innanely whilst fiddling with something in your pocket

he won't do or say anything is my guess......

'Opportunities are never lost as someone else will take the one you missed'

he won't do or say anything is my guess......

Ah, riling me into making a move! You will be the first to know anyway.

PMSL @ Rubber Buccaneer! 😆

Just concoct an imaginary fantasy about her and hold on to it for the next 10 years. The sex will be far better that way too

Stop looking in my head 😡

Genius Thread!!

PMSL @ Rubber Buccaneer 🙂

Just do it.. nothing ventured nothing gained!

You know how sometimes you see a very good looking woman on the arm of a guy who looks like the arse end of a bus and you think, how did that happen? Most of the time it's because they are loaded and have a @@@k like a sheeps heart on top of a tin of vim, sonmetimes it's because they had the balls to talk to the woman.

@@@k like a sheeps heart on top of a tin of vim

Tea/monitor interface, and absolutely crying with laughter now. Superb!

Can we swap commutes? Why do you get hot chicks and I get old giffers in raincoats?

You know how sometimes you see a very good looking woman on the arm of a guy who looks like the arse end of a bus

Why do ..... I get old giffers in raincoats?

That's probably what Kit's would-be-bride is thinking.

Still in fits of laughter at Joolsburger too, that's the funniest thing I've heard for months 🙂

"Did my reputation precede me, or was I too quick for it?"

courtesy of Zapp Brannigan

[tears of laughter rolling down face in busy office]

..........please stop it........!!!!!!

[/tears of laughter rolling down face in busy office]

joolsburger you bastard! I'm freelancing in a place where no-one knows me. Everyone is now looking at me funny as I've literally spat coffee all over my monitor

Chapeau Rubber Bucaneer that made me laugh as well 🙂 I really need to grow up.