[Closed] How to be less shy?

You certainly are not introverted on here...

everything's great thanks, took a 10-day holiday, then decided to take another week off to recover... as far as i know i'm still employed but you never know!

LOL... which trail centres did you get to in Scotland?

Molly... I haven't worked out how to censor my fingers that's all.

But the fact that you WANT to type stuff out on here indicates extrovert tendencies no?

Errr, no? 😀

Phil.. when are you going to be up for sexytime with me and laughing boy?

Well I'm always here if you need me 🙂

Scotland was Kirroughtree, Mabie, Ae, Innerleithen and Glentress

Good luck with the shyness thing, the way I see it, you should just be yourself. If some people don't like you for who you are then they're probably not people you'd want to be friends with anyway.

planning on trying driving by end of next week, hoping to try riding on something flat and smooth shortly after, then gently easing myself back into rough terrain over a few weeks. dont want to make the same mistake as last time i damaged my shoulder and having it still hurting every morning a year after!

TSY use the patented tazzy trick of having such a crushingly low self esteem that you don't see it as being shy, you're saving people the inconvienience of having to aknowledge your existance.

Or hard drugs

Thanks Molly 🙂

Good plan Phil, must be doing your head in! Sounds like you need a.... du-duh-derrrr... road bike! 😀

tazzy - you should try my self absorbed arrogance, I'm not shy, I'm just so good I can't be bothered.

And hard drugs.

tazzy... hows the new business venture working out?

You can't make everyone like you. Some people just wont like you whatever you do - who cares? You don't have to mix with them. But others will like you, just fine. It's OK to be yourself, you're not a monster. So try not to worry and just express yourself.

Express yourself by MWA 😀

My ears were burning. 😉

Truth be told TSY many people are shy and, indeed, have admitted so on here.

I would say that jojo gives good advice. Very few people are naturally confident so most of us are winging it.

The fake it til you make it statement comes from my own experience. I wished I could be confident, then I watched people who I wished I could be like and 'acted' like them... things like using a clear steady voice when speaking in a group, smiling and putting others at their ease helps and also admitting that you feel nervous/shy at a particular time can bring down tension as others who are feeling equally shy relax arouund you. Inside I'm often a jelly, but the outside can be a screen onto which I project my desired confidence.

Think of it like going for a gnarly bit of trail/drop. It's never as bad as you thought it was going to be

Wise words jojo. 🙂

Hi TSY!!

I can only speak from my own experience but I like a lot of what TuckerUK said:

I guess the trick is to (sorry for the cliché) be ‘at one’ with yourself. You can’t expect others to like you if you don’t like yourself

If you love and believe in yourself, it's pretty amazing the places you can go and the situations you can be in and still interact with people you meet. Believe me, I know!!

Rachel

TSY earlier

😆 @ Kevevs - there is a large element of that behind my softly spoken persona

My problem is more that much of the world isn't quite right for me. The bit with people in it, mostly.

molgrips... I was having this discussion with a mate the other day... someone who very definitely is extrovert...

We concluded that actually a lot of people in the world are knobs and we wouldn't want to share time with them anyway.

Shyness with girls has been a major issue though, but I got lucky most recently and can hardly remember what all the fuss was about.

You need a good woman as well as good mates 🙂

Wear a mask, you can be whoever you want behind a mask.

[img] [/img]

Not when said mask looks exactly like me, only less gormless!

haha Molly. I covered that in another thread earlier this week. I'm pretty content at the minute.

All that time on the bike for LEJOG seems to have made me a tad introspective. Maybe I'll start a thread on that too...

Express yourself by MWA

Eh, who were they? I know of an "NWA" that recorded the same song though... 😉

Jojo makes a good point, but... Some people can't even bring themselves to fake it! And also some people really are so confident (read arrogant) that nothing phases them, trust me I know plenty of people like that and they definitely aren't putting on a show!

Confidence in social situations is an odd one. To some extent you get a bit more confident with age anyway, but only slightly. The biggest thing is the people you surround yourself by and the situations you put yourself in. I've always struggled a bit myself as most of my friends have always been taller, better looking and generally got all the girls, which has always knocked my confidence massively meeting members of the opposite sex. But having a sense of humour and being approachable does help somewhat in that respect. When it comes to work situations though, I've always believed in my own abilities (sometimes too much), and it shows in the work place, and people trust people with the self confidence to get something done (or at least be honest if they can't do it).

So for me a bit of a weird one, many people who know me can't believe I'm such a shy person in social situations when at work I can appear so outgoing.

The trick is, get good at something and you will get confident at it... So all it takes is practice!

mboy... that typo was intentional 🙄

Maybe it's the approachable thing... I'm just too damn [s]smoking hot[/s] shy 😆

I've been too shy to post on this thread until now.

<posts hoping no-one will notice>

Come and step into the light my children. Together we can take on the world...

"It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love."

Voltaire

Also shy here.

I try and put myself in to situations I can't get out of - helps with being sociable and outgoing. I put myself in an MTB holiday and would like to think I found it really easy to get on with the folks there and made a few friends who I've kept in touch with.

Also try going out in drag. It's a REAL ice breaker 😆 😯 8)

My real problem is developing a network of friends. The folks who I'd really call friends are pretty much all male and with young families. It means I'm not really part of their social circles and don't meet new people through them.

Be wary of labelling [b]yourself[/b], then living up to your label..

For example:
DrP thinks of himself as a shy person.
DrP goes to a party, and thinks "ooh, I'm shy, better not chat with anyone"
DrP IS behaving in a shy way.

Whereas the real scenario is:
DrP thinks he's the daddy mack shazam.
DrP goes to a party and thinks "bam-chica-wow-wow, I'm the daddy mack schamizze - laydeez and gents, bow down before thy".
DrP behaves like a tool, but at least he's not shy....

You can use that to a similar effect in lots of situations, gratis.

DrP

(there is a real element of truth in the above behaviour patterns - frequently shy people start off with an element of shyness, but can't think of themselves as an alternative person)

DrP

Another shy and inverted soul here. Being put in front of a couple of thousand IT techies and presenting the results of my years work helped get past some of that. However, I still struggle with one to one and small groups. I can't say you came across as particularly shy when I met you TSY.

Duuuuuude, you're a yeti. Being shy is part of your DNA. If yetis were outgoing and gregarious we'd have more evidence than a bit of mangy fur and an old photo of some footprints in the snow. Or do even the other yetis think you're a bit of a wallflower?

Gosh, TSY, didn't have you down as shy. I'm shy too, but I make myself go and do stuff (like group rides) and it always works out ok. The thing I simply cannot bring myself to do is that right now this minute I really fancy going out for a drink, except I don't know anyone and I have tried walking into pubs on my own and I really really hate it. People are not very friendly to a single woman, well, except for those very drunk old men who hang round the bar and have red beery faces. And I'm just about to run out of battery so that's it from me.

Batteries?

EDIT: wasted witty reply due to cunning edit above

Shakes fist

I strongly get the impression that people find me a bit annoying in group situations...

Karin you like Druidh have met the lad I send out to social functions... he's just a bit awkward as he tries to remember all the things I tell him to say...

schnullelieber - you make a good point. I'm struggling to meet other Yetis, our shyness could prove fatal to our species. 🙁 I'd be happy just to meet a sasquatch or even a brown bear.

Molly - I think you need a hug! Err... I reckon I go un-noticed.

TSY - next big adventure, try doing it on your own. While travelling with a bunch of mates is great, one of the joys of solo travel is chatting with the people you meet as you go. Waitresses, shop-keepers, fellow travellers etc. You are usually the "interesting" one as you are the new/unusual face and it's great to hear viewpoints from areas you don't know.

TSY, you're just a young pup. You'll mellow and be OK when you're older. I was shy, decided not to be and have loads more fun now. Wasted years being a bit defensively off-ish.

(not being shy is quite handy for totty interaction too)

There's a monsteryeti on here, currently got a thread going...

I have to admit i find yetis rather intimidating, ever since having the crap scared out of me as a kid watching the made for TV movie Snowbeast...

Looks like they've remade it too.

[Sent from behind the sofa]