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You can borrow our highly trained hunter if you want to binners?
Moose
https://imgur.com/gallery/dC5Nq5H
Mouse cannon?
Peanut butter. Always use peanut butter. Mice love it.
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Your mouse needs to up his game - a mates cat once brought home a still warm roast leg of lamb. Wouldn't go through the cat flap.
A neighbour had left it to rest on the window sill, apparently. 😄
Binners will train his cat to raid Greggs!
Buy a Cali King snake.
The mouse will soon be gone.
Then you can lure the snake into a tank with a pre-killed mouse and a heat pad, and then you'll have a cool pet snake, and a funny story to tell.
Winner winner chicken dinner. Or Mouse dinner as the case may be.
Surely a steak bake, or a vegan sausage roll, will tempt it out into the open?
Morning all. Mouse update:
I let the cats in this morning and the other cat (Che) who is the polar opposite of Nelson - a big fat moggy who rarely bothers with anything as taxing as movement - goes straight in the front room, jumps up on one of the sofa's and is sniffing away at the corner like a police sniffer dog.
Obviously he's sourced the moose loose aboot the hoose. So I prepare a suitable receptacle to try and catch the bugger in as Mrs Binners whips the cushions off the sofa. And there it is! The furry little bastard!
The next second Che continues his transformation from sloth into panther and launches himself at it. Unfortunately, he's shit at this hunting lark, he misses it and the mouse immediately finds that gap at the corner where all your loose change disappears down and promptly disappears.
So I now need to update the original question:
How the **** am I going to get this mouse out of my sofa?
The next second Che continues his transformation from sloth into panther and launches himself at it.
Pwoud. Vewy, vewy pwoud.
Unfortunately, he’s shit at this hunting lark, he misses it and the mouse immediately finds that gap at the corner where all your loose change disappears down and promptly disappears
Not so pwoud.
When I was a kid I caught one in my dressing gown. It was in a corner of the lounge and I thought I might be able to grab it. It was a bit quick though and ran up the sleeve of my dressing gown, across my back and then back down the other sleeve. Before it could escape I pulled the cuff tight round my wrist and went out in to the garden and out it dropped and ran off.
How the * am I going to get this mouse out of my sofa?
It may help it may not...
I once sat on a sofa in a grotty bar in NYC that I rapidly determined contained no stuffing, only live rodents and cockroaches.
Some of those inhabitants scarpered fairly fast once I seated myself, some simply ran around inside the sofa.
Needless to say I left the establishment fairly sharpish, though obviously finished my [s] pint [/s] 16oz glass of beer first.
So maybe sit on it. What ever you do though clench for the duration of your sitting on the sofa. You do not want to go to A&E to have the rodent removed, "I sat on it by accident Dr" isn't likely to wash.
Awaits "How the * am I going to get this mouse out of my back passage?" thread
I feel I should be providing a commentary to this in hushed David Attenborough tones. Che has remained camped on the sofa, circling it then sticking his paw down the hole the mouse disappeared down. He seems to be enjoying his newfound 'Big Cat' role.
Nelson, who brought the bloody thing in, has been completely disinterested throughout.
I feel I should be providing a commentary to this in hushed David Attenborough tones.
We've never met, but in my head you're more David Bellamy
A fair point 😀
Humane trap(doesnt harm the mouse) Bait with chocolate and leave overnight.
What are you then planning on doing with a live mouse?
Ordinarily I'd say snap traps are the only way, Rentokill ones are good. But with cats in the house you'd want to be placing them somewhere the cats can't get to so that might be a non-starter.
You could, I suppose, bait the sofa with peanut butter to lure it out into the open to face kittygeddon so long as the cats don't eat the PB first.
What you want is a Rentokil Clean Kill Tunnel trap.
Stops cats / birds / kids / dogs accidentally getting their paws / fingers / wings / tails caught in it.
I can't see we've had any input from WCA, which worries me of he's been playing with power tools again....
After laughing at Binners' misfortune, today my cat directed me towards a mystery scratching sound in the kitchen. Which turned out to be from inside the bloody flat roof...brilliant...
Why do the buggers like the taste of Kingspan, anyway?
At least the mouse our cat brought in today was dead.
Why do the buggers like the taste of Kingspan, anyway?
More to the point, why did Kingspan evolve to be so delicious?
More to the point, why did Kingspan evolve to be so delicious?
Natural selection innit.
The mice that didn't like it all froze to death.
Natural selection innit.
The mice that didn’t like it all froze to death.
Excellent!
Have you thought about reading it a choice selection of your Corbyn posts?
The first thousand or so ought to do it. 🙂
And more to the point, buy an RC car to take your mind off it.
Put the cats into the sofa, they can catch the mouse. Then you put a dog in to chase the cats out .....
Watch my squirrel tap video and get the mouse version. Don't mention it on here though it you will get slaughtered
Not read all the posts.
We got one out with a cardboard poster tube sealed at one end, mouse ran in, sealed the other.
Put the cats into the sofa, they can catch the mouse. Then you put a dog in to chase the cats out …..
*awaits "How the **** am I going to get this horse out of my front room?" thread*
'Gerry, there is a horse in my pennine suite'
Just poison it. Way more effective than traps.
Oh, and just hope it doesn’t have worms which then eat the insides and eventually hatch into a room full of blue bottles. Happened to us two months after the cat had died. One final gift. Took a year to find the fossilised mouse 2 years later when I emptied the entire room for redecoration.
If you poison it and it then runs off and dies somewhere inaccessible, 6 months later you'll rip half the house apart trying to find out what that bloody awful smell is
I'm told by some that the poison desiccates it so that it doesn't smell. I've never quite believed it, anyone know for sure?
Poison aside, a dead mouse will stink out the place in days rather than months.
Good Morning all. Heres todays mouse update:
We're sorted. Last night he decided, probably spurred on by the ambivalence of the cats, to come out from the sofa and go for a tour of the house. Mrs Binners flicked the kitchen light on and there he was in the middle of the floor, like a rabbit in the headlights. Cue the Benny Hill theme tune again as we both pursue him around the kitchen. Eventually, we cornered him where he had nowhere to go (there are not many things to run underneath in a fitted kitchen - in fact there are none) and managed to pop a glass over him.
So, after his 24 hour holiday in our house, we managed to safely release him back into the woods behind the house, apparently none the worse for his experience
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The little bastard will be back in by now.
I'm waiting for Nelson to up the ante this evening and bring a massive rat in
Behind the house?!! Naw!!! as HTS says, part 2 of this classic coming soon. 🙂
it is mice or rats (or both) that have no bladder control and piss everywhere?
Remember that when you sit on your mouse-wee stained sofa tonight.
Isn't it illegal to release trapped pests? Also illegal to torture them by trapping their tails under the rims of glasses. You're goin' dahn for a long stretch son!!
Rats use latrine areas. Mice are incontinent so are more of a risk with that form of disease spreading. Cats on the other hand are just selfish b*****ds.
I’m told by some that the poison desiccates it so that it doesn’t smell. I’ve never quite believed it, anyone know for sure?
The theory is that mice are small enough to be sort of mummified quite rapidly by the desiccating poison. Rattsy, being larger, on the other hand, just dies and rots slowly. When we first move in here we found a desiccated rat carcass in the bathroom ceiling void, which was nice. I belt that ponged in its day.
The company line from poison makers is that the rodents flee your house in search of water and die somewhere else, but anecdotal evidence suggests otherwise
Watch my squirrel tap video and get the mouse version. Don’t mention it on here though it you will get slaughtered
I mentioned it already. Our A24 is currently sat in the loft eaves storage cupboard waiting patiently for the mouse to get hungry. However [disclaimer] I take no pleasure in killing mices, they are unhygienic, polluting vermin and make annoying scrabbling noises while they are eating bits of your house including electric wiring. Also, in all honesty, there are lots of them to go round.
Given the alternative seems to be lurking in the cupboard wearing night vision glasses and holding a glass like a slip fielder poised to strike, I'll stick with the A24.So far the bastard thing(s) seem(s) happy with a diet of Kingspan and whatever else they can find under the floorboards.
Do they not get thirsty though? Can't be much fluid in loft insulation?
Somewhat after the fact now, but a poster tube or similar is what you want - wait for them to enter and then quickly pick it up from horiztonal to vertical with a gloved hand covering your end of it. Source, having had to catch a few dozen jumpy laboratory mice.
Mice do indeed have basically no bladder control. With unlimited access to water they are capable of depositing a drop of urine approximately every 5 seconds iirc.
☝ Loving your work.
are you busy with commissions Binners?
I reckon you could do a good run of t-shirts with your stylised type drawings on of a northern looking couple staring at a mouse on a sofa while two cats sleep on the other end of it.
In Greggs colours, of course