[Closed] How do I tell my wife her choice of B'day surprise for me is terrible?

"joint weekend in a wood making a willow chair?"

PMSL! 😆

So how the hell am I supposed to look happy and not be gutwrenchingly mortified at a joint weekend in a wood making a willow chair?

gutted for you mate!

Get out now!!

Could be cool - go with the flow. I'm biased though as I like making stuff.

As you grow older you will learn to realise you will never get the presents you really want - only you will give yourself those! Our family brought in a £25 max limit so you never get a proper worthwhile pressie but big money is not wasted either. It does mean a lot of thought is either put into making presents or thinking hard about how to spend it which is more the point surely. It sounds like she has thought about it - it's not a "first thing off the shelf" and fat face type gift.

Good lordy.

Just tell her what you want and don't drop hints. Looks like you'll have to take this one on the chin.

Epicly bad present. As above, genuinely gutted for you.

It's not funny!

OK well maybe it would be if it was someone else.

Come on guys, send me a fake invite to Buckingham Place, Kidnap me ANYTHING!

As per convert here..

Could you not make a love stool instead of a chair, would be more fun in the future! 😆

Go along. It's not worth upsetting your Mrs. You might enjoy it 🙂

Anyway what's wrong with the 5? I bet you could get STW to chip in and help get it on the road.. I'll help if I'm nearby.

It's not like I don't like making things- I am "Practical Matt", that's kind of my point. I can make something in my own time anytime - and I frequently do. Odds are I could lead the class not take part in it.

I can't magic up a Fox forks service kit and a middle ring with teeth on it though. Not to mention the bearings that have all been dutifully cleaned and oiled for three years now but are really due a change.

Am I living in a sitcom? - woodland crafts! FFS

As a female point of view I would say don't tell her! There is no way you'll be able to say it without her becoming at least slightly upset/insulted, especially when she's asked around for other people to help.

You never know you might enjoy it... My dad organised a "suprise" weekend for my mum for her 50th - she thought she was getting a shopping trip to New York when it was actually a stone wall building course in the Cairngorms somewhere. She was not too impressed but ended up having a fun weekend just learning something new and getting away from normal life.

Looks like shes getting a willow chair for her birthday then. 😆

Looks like shes getting a willow chair for her birthday then

Are you really that hard up Matt?

So how the hell am I supposed to look happy and not be gutwrenchingly mortified at a joint weekend in a wood making a willow chair?

Stop lying!

You could get "somebody" to send her a link to this thread? What's her email address?

Just get your revenge when it's her birthday.
There's an abundance of sh1t things to do out there, shouldn't be too difficult to find another one. Night fishing perhaps?

she thought she was getting a shopping trip to New York when it was actually a stone wall building course in the Cairngorms somewhere.

😀

I agree with Alpine girl. It looks like there was a lot of though put into it (but without considering Your hints) and I know that it would mean at least 2-3 quiet days if something like that happened between me and my girlfriend and she would never ever, ever forget that, would just be somewhere there in the back of her mind ready to pop up at the right time. 🙂 Plus everyone who chipped in might be upset as well.

Just go and make that chair if You still want to have a happy marriage ;-). That is all.

It's not like I don't like making things- I am "Practical Matt", that's kind of my point. I can make something in my own time anytime - and I frequently do. Odds are I could lead the class not take part in it.

Now you do sounds just a tiny bit arrogant there! OK, I'll declare my hand. I'm Head of Design at a very expensive independent school that specialises in the creative arts & my dept are probably the lead proponents of schoolbased furniture making at this level in the country. I have a first class Design degree and work in wood (amongst other things) every day of my working life. You call yourself "practical matt" - that makes me practical ben with knobs on! I once went on a course that did not sound that different to yours - making a ladder back chair using traditional arts and crafts techniques - based in a wood! I learnt stuff & I could not have lead the class. The only people who deem themselves too good to learn from others are those with closed minds....

Think of it another way - she has bought you an opportunity to spend some time together on neutral ground on something neither of you have done before. I would get worried when she buys you gifts that mean she doesn't have to spend time with you!

Go on the course, sounds like she has made a lot of effort and no point upsetting her

Anyway what's wrong with the 5? I bet you could get STW to chip in and help get it on the road

What you short of? i've got some new tubes you are welcome to and probably dig out some cables as well along with a SRAM PC59 chain if its any use
Don't ride much these days and got enough spares to see me out

What if... its a decoy, and she's leading you to think this entirely on purpose??

Am I the only one who saw the present and thought "that's quite nice, I'd like to do that"?

Though it's a bit different if you already have the skills!

[i] school that specialises in the creative arts & my dept are probably the lead proponents of schoolbased furniture making at this level in the country.[/i]

Sweatshop 😉

Am I the only one who saw the present and thought "that's quite nice, I'd like to do that"?

Quite probably, sounds bloody awful to me, now a wheelbuilding weekend

I wish I could think of something this elaborate to blag some spare parts for the bike.

If she's encouraged to believe you enjoy this sort of thing, I wonder what she'll come up with for next year?

You'll probably be able to adapt your newfound willow skills to other springy woods and make presents for all your loving in-laws.

I understand brambles are quite springy.

Make some wicker parts for your Orange.

Instead of a willow chair you could make a willow saddle. You get an upgrade and a happy wife-sorted!

Edit spongingmachine, you just beat me too it!

Funniest thread for ages. Thank you.

Its such a poncey laughable present that its got to be a wind up. Perhaps youll get there and she's really organised a weekends riding with your mates? If not, I'd consider divorce, she clearly dosent get you. 😈

try expressing your discontentment in the style of one of our ape cousins, scream, run around and fling poo at her. If she doesn't get the subtle hint that maybe you rather shave your eyeballs than make a chair with some beardy weirdies it's time to get a mail order bride 😀

Just send her on a bike maintenance course for her Birthday.

mate if its like this after 4 years together, the rest of your life is going to be a bitch...

Maybe it will be the only time your missus will get a nice bit of wood! 😉

Making pictures from old clock parts looks like fun too

Not much of a surprise present is it?

Compromise. Make a wicker wheel to the best of your ability...

Wife: But that's not a chair?!?

Hubby: No. But look, it's wheely good...

IGMC

Whatever happened to actually telling somebody what you wanted for your Birthday!!! LOL

Seriously though, I totally agree with the max spend of £25 suggestion mentioned above. I watched my housemate and his new GF spend over £200 on each other at Christmas (which kinda grated on me too as he couldn't pay his share of the bills because of this!), when they'd only been seeing each other 4 months, in a kind of "trying to buy each others love" way if you ask me... Now I like my bikes, but I also like that they're mine, and that I bought them... I don't need or want anything expensive off anyone else to be honest, so would much rather be bought a trip somewhere with my partner (if I had one currently) to do something interesting for the day/weekend than I would anything material.

That said though, can see where you're coming from on the making a willow chair thing. A romantic weekend away fair enough, but that's perhaps a little odd considering she should know you're a carpenter. Don't mean to be rude, but 2 years of marriage and only 2 years together before that, you sure you spent enough time getting to know each other inside out before tying the knot? My housemate (same one as above) is getting a divorce currently, as at 27 he decided that he couldn't be with his wife any longer as she didn't want kids and he does. Now call me naieve, but surely you'd have that conversation at some point before even considering getting married? I couldn't contemplate spending the rest of my life with someone that didn't totally understand me, and share similar wants/needs in life.

You know what?

You might actually enjoy it. It might be fun.

Please will you post a picture of the willow tree Chair when u have made it? I'm not into romantic crap but I do like to have my OH to myself, she's probably just wanting to spend time with u on your birthday and found something that u can both do together and take something away from so I can see where she's coming from. In 50 yrs time when your grandkids r playing on the chair ul look back and remember that wknd fondly and feel guilty as he'll about this thread. 🙂

mboy - Member
Whatever happened to actually telling somebody what you wanted for your Birthday!!! LOL

Where is the fun in that?

I really can't believe some of the responses on this thread. Talk about ungrateful....

actually crying with laughter...

crying

The chair building sounds sucktastic but it's a weekend away together and that can't be bad, get drunk and make a huge wicker phallus if it gets overly dull!

Right, tears gone.

I have a solution, you being a chippie and all that.

Make one of these [url= http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/WILLOW-WICKER-HOODED-GARDEN-CHAIR-SEAT-SHABBY-CHIC-NEW_W0QQitemZ110516899193QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Home_Garden_GardenFurnitureR2_SM?hash=item19bb520d79 ]ebay willow chair[/url]

Undercut and sell it for £90 or make a nice timber frame and sell for more £150

Use the money to buy some inertubes and have a nice day with you Mrs 😀

If it's not been paid for i'd talk to her. Good luck!

Tell her you'd rather have a weekend in a willow wood, making joints.

shag her sister

I was about to advise aphex_2k that willow probably wouldn't make a good choice for making joists... D'oh!

Well I was reduced to tears of hilarity from some of your responses and thought I'd best just admit to why I was sitting on the sofa guffawing and asked-
"Are we really going to make a willow chair or is it an elabourate cover?"

Turns out it is/was true, but I thought I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and just came out with the words.

Please,please don't make me do this.

Turns out the deposit was due in tomorrow so she has cancelled just in time.

I agree it could have been fun, but not on the one day of the year when you are entitled to put yourself first, I've spent the last two months doing DIY round the house every weekend. If she wants to do it for her B'day then fine I'll happily go and weave yoghurt wearing a hat made of porridge in the woods. But on my special day - no way.

It's not like I don't love her, but for once she has just got this so wrong, bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

As to getting the bike parts I need, let's not push it tonight.

[img] [/img]

****ing amazes me people can stand infront of every ****er they know and pledge undying love for someone they have no ****ing idea how to talk to.

😕

I must say its quite an odd choice of present given your a carpenter ! Its like me being given, I dunno, an IT course for a day !

Anyhoo sounds like you have dealt with it but i wouldn;t expect a wakeup BJ, cup of tea and extras on your bday now 8)

when my ex wife bought me a radio for the shower, i knew the marriage was doomed

she's probably thought a lot about it "hmm,he's a carpenter (making chairs out of wood). He likes going off into the woods (on that stupid bike). I KNOW... making a chair in the woods! HE'S GONNA LOVE IT! I#m so sensitive and thoughtful"

I'd just humour her, grin and be happy. Give her the willow chair on her birthday saying it reminds you of your special time together blaH BLAh.

nah, ****it. scratch that.

NZCol, in fairness, I'm a chippie (of sorts). All our work is done with chopsaws, jigsaws, electric planes etc. Whittling and green woodworking is a million miles away from what we do. I thought it was a nice present myself...in fact if the OP wants to borrow my bike (in perfect working order), I'll "whittle" away the day with his missus. 😉

Just start making and selling some of the chairs to the folk on here.

Buy her some cables and chain rings for her birthday.

If after you've finished the course you've really not liked it tell her otherwise you'll get something shit for xmas too, I put up with shit like that from my mother for 35 years, this year I finaly got something I wanted albeit didn't need and was happy as Larry.

I just want to thank you for brightening up what was otherwise shaping up to be a dull Friday morning at work.

I think next b/day you should spend the day sucking on a McDonalds milkshake 😉

Marvelous, what a wonderfully obscure present...

[s]How about:
"Darling, this is an excellent present, and something I really want to do in a few years time when I've mastered some of the other finer points of my trade. But, at the moment I really want to focus on my health and wellbeing, that being my bike and the fitness you then enjoy... any chance we can cancel it this year getting the cash back? We can then re-book it in a couple of years time when I'm more prepped for it"

So, not actually saying it's cr@p but at least getting yourself out of the hole.
Then, one drunken night in a year or so you can mention how it was a terrible present and the emotional pain will be less (the physical nutsack kick may still smart).[/s]

Just read your last post.
Well sorted.

Andy

mmm maybe she thinks, that you even though riding your bike is the best thing ever, you can do that whenever you want (in her mind) she wants to do something a little different for your birthday.
for my birthday, my wife let me take her shopping, buy her shoes and take her to the restaurant of her choice.

My missus, who bought me a saint rear mech for my last b'day is absolutely wetting herself with laughter at the willow chair story.

Divorce is the answer.

It's not like I don't love her, but for once she has just got this so wrong, bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

Sounds like you're a bit of a magnet for crap presents. Maybe it's you?

bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

Brilliant! PMSL!!

* amazes me people can stand infront of every * they know and pledge undying love for someone they have no **** idea how to talk to.

I'm sorta with you on that.

See, I'm a big kid. I like a surprise for a present, I don't like asking for stuff. In all the years Mrs PP and I have been together (11) she's only got it wrong once. She bought me a Playstation for Christmas, and I really didn't want one, so I told her nicely, we took it back for a refund and I put the money toward a digital SLR, which I still have. There was no problem with that at all

I simply cannot believe you'd post this on here without speaking to your wife FIRST. It's nuts. Crazy. Silly.

I simply cannot believe you'd post this on here without speaking to your wife FIRST. It's nuts. Crazy. Silly.

If everyone kept this sort of info to themselves while thinking it through before sorting it out in the real world, this forum would be pretty dull, no?

I got a calendar from my mum for Christmas - it's got kittens on it. Lots of lovely, sweet, fluffy kittens on it. I thought that she wanted me to find a woman and produce grandchildren?

Then again, she wouldn't tell me what she wanted herself for Christmas, so the at the 247th time of asking "What would you like for Christmas" and being told "I don't know at the moment, let me think about it" she was informed that she was getting a nice pair of spotlights for my Land Rover unless she had a better idea. It turned out that 200 quid to spend on clothes in the sales was a better idea. Job done.

Practical Matt - I sympathise, that doesn't sound like my sort of thing either.

However, have you considered that she did realise what you wanted for your birthday but with a present of something for you to do together she's trying to send you a message about you sodding off out on your bike all the time?

so she's cancelled the chair weaving class but;

1) was she pissed off, pleased or indifferent to be told you didn't want it?

2) are you getting bike bits instead?

I did think you could have set up in competition with broookes for most archaic saddle if you'd gone through with it.

Edit: and was she chuffed you'd asked on here before asking her?

On the flip side, I bought my wife some bits (pedals, grips and a new saddle) for her cannondale at christmas. She pi**ed herself laughing, and couldnt understand why I'd bought them, when 'it's already got stuff on that's not worn out or anything'. I guess it's just an example of the different ways that men and women think about 'stuff'. My wife's an occupational therapist, and scarily, I think she'd have enjoyed the weaving the moss underpants in a wood thing!

This thread is brilliant! I would seriously hope that other half would know what you do/don't like! Plus if it was something a little wrong i'd just tell Mr MC "I don't think so, but thanks for the care and thoughts" however it would NEVER happen!! Does seem an odd choice of present but hey like others said I understand where you are coming from but it COULD be fun ( or then again .....) :lol

So is she buying you anything now? or are you going to be sulking on your birthday? Dare I say it, but haven't got enough money to buy a few sprare inner tubes, maybe you should've bought a smaller house with a smaller mortgage! Sorry.

Don't mean to be rude, but 2 years of marriage and only 2 years together before that, you sure you spent enough time getting to know each other inside out before tying the knot?

When you're out on your bike, do you enjoy yourself only once you get to the place you're going, or do you enjoy yourself while your riding too? And while you're riding, are there good bits and bad bits, or is it downhill all the way?

(DHers are the equivalent of prostitute-using johns here, I suppose: they pay for the uplifts so that they can only experience the pleasure but they never really form relationships with the hills). (I'd better stop with this metaphor, I'm sounding like Swiss Toni).

"(DHers are the equivalent of prostitute-using johns here, I suppose: they pay for the uplifts so that they can only experience the pleasure but they never really form relationships with the hills"

As a DHer, I'd like to point out we often push up, and a day DHing can be a lot more knackering than a day out on the XC bike.

Well she's still talking to me so I think we're fine.
Of course she has no idea about this forum thread.

As for a smaller mortgage- yes it is something that I would have liked. But a two bed semi is hardly Buckingham place I just paid the going rate for houses in my area.

Basically we get on like a house on fire and spend pretty much every minute together doing stuff- we've been to the North pole together, we've hitch hiked to Morroco and I think she's amazing. She just has this bizare approach to present buying- her Dad and I bonded over it the first time we met. He'd asked for some DIY equipment so they got him an hour driving a 4X4 (he drives a van for the council).

The argument (on her part) seems to be if she can't find it exciting or interetsting she doesn't understand why anyone else would want it and if you ask for it- you wont get it as it wont be surprise.

I for my part just don't want her wasting her money which she works hard for on a woefully missjudged presnet which makes neither of us happy. I said to her I'd rather she just came out with me on her bike and we sat at the top of a hil and watched the scenery and she shared with me something that makes me truly happy for free.

And yes, I am a magnet for sh1t presents- I could fill a book with the well intentioned howlers of my parents. Just occasionally (like this) I it all gets to me and I just want something that makes me happy as I spend my whole time making other people happy and giving up my time to work for free for friends and family etc.

Anyway I'm sounding like Arther Fowler when he had his breakdown now so I'll shut up and say thanks everyone, feel free to keep this thread going for hilarity value but I think I've got it sorted.

Oh just for clarity value- I trained as chippie as a trade, but pay the mortgage being a Police Fraud Examiner- this should clarify a few contradicting threads out there.

It was only a matter of time before the "I've got the perfect marriage with the most amazingly in tune partner who knows everything I ever want and need" types appeared. You know who you are and you know what you sound like. Pfft.

As a DHer, I'd like to point out we often push up, and a day DHing can be a lot more knackering than a day out on the XC bike.

That's why you see DHers stopping for a fag every so often. Hard work this bike pushing.. 🙂

the mrs once commissioned a painting/print of me riding my jump bike at the local trails.

i have the first copy/print
replicas are for sale in glynncorrig (sp) cafe.

that's pretty cool. (i think)

Trying to hint to the wife that I want a track day next time she wants to buy me a day out 🙂