[Closed] How do I tell my wife her choice of B'day surprise for me is terrible?

The chair building sounds sucktastic but it's a weekend away together and that can't be bad, get drunk and make a huge wicker phallus if it gets overly dull!

Right, tears gone.

I have a solution, you being a chippie and all that.

Make one of these [url= http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/WILLOW-WICKER-HOODED-GARDEN-CHAIR-SEAT-SHABBY-CHIC-NEW_W0QQitemZ110516899193QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Home_Garden_GardenFurnitureR2_SM?hash=item19bb520d79 ]ebay willow chair[/url]

Undercut and sell it for £90 or make a nice timber frame and sell for more £150

Use the money to buy some inertubes and have a nice day with you Mrs 😀

If it's not been paid for i'd talk to her. Good luck!

Tell her you'd rather have a weekend in a willow wood, making joints.

shag her sister

I was about to advise aphex_2k that willow probably wouldn't make a good choice for making joists... D'oh!

Well I was reduced to tears of hilarity from some of your responses and thought I'd best just admit to why I was sitting on the sofa guffawing and asked-
"Are we really going to make a willow chair or is it an elabourate cover?"

Turns out it is/was true, but I thought I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and just came out with the words.

Please,please don't make me do this.

Turns out the deposit was due in tomorrow so she has cancelled just in time.

I agree it could have been fun, but not on the one day of the year when you are entitled to put yourself first, I've spent the last two months doing DIY round the house every weekend. If she wants to do it for her B'day then fine I'll happily go and weave yoghurt wearing a hat made of porridge in the woods. But on my special day - no way.

It's not like I don't love her, but for once she has just got this so wrong, bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

As to getting the bike parts I need, let's not push it tonight.

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****ing amazes me people can stand infront of every ****er they know and pledge undying love for someone they have no ****ing idea how to talk to.

😕

I must say its quite an odd choice of present given your a carpenter ! Its like me being given, I dunno, an IT course for a day !

Anyhoo sounds like you have dealt with it but i wouldn;t expect a wakeup BJ, cup of tea and extras on your bday now 8)

when my ex wife bought me a radio for the shower, i knew the marriage was doomed

she's probably thought a lot about it "hmm,he's a carpenter (making chairs out of wood). He likes going off into the woods (on that stupid bike). I KNOW... making a chair in the woods! HE'S GONNA LOVE IT! I#m so sensitive and thoughtful"

I'd just humour her, grin and be happy. Give her the willow chair on her birthday saying it reminds you of your special time together blaH BLAh.

nah, ****it. scratch that.

NZCol, in fairness, I'm a chippie (of sorts). All our work is done with chopsaws, jigsaws, electric planes etc. Whittling and green woodworking is a million miles away from what we do. I thought it was a nice present myself...in fact if the OP wants to borrow my bike (in perfect working order), I'll "whittle" away the day with his missus. 😉

Just start making and selling some of the chairs to the folk on here.

Buy her some cables and chain rings for her birthday.

If after you've finished the course you've really not liked it tell her otherwise you'll get something shit for xmas too, I put up with shit like that from my mother for 35 years, this year I finaly got something I wanted albeit didn't need and was happy as Larry.

I just want to thank you for brightening up what was otherwise shaping up to be a dull Friday morning at work.

I think next b/day you should spend the day sucking on a McDonalds milkshake 😉

Marvelous, what a wonderfully obscure present...

[s]How about:
"Darling, this is an excellent present, and something I really want to do in a few years time when I've mastered some of the other finer points of my trade. But, at the moment I really want to focus on my health and wellbeing, that being my bike and the fitness you then enjoy... any chance we can cancel it this year getting the cash back? We can then re-book it in a couple of years time when I'm more prepped for it"

So, not actually saying it's cr@p but at least getting yourself out of the hole.
Then, one drunken night in a year or so you can mention how it was a terrible present and the emotional pain will be less (the physical nutsack kick may still smart).[/s]

Just read your last post.
Well sorted.

Andy

mmm maybe she thinks, that you even though riding your bike is the best thing ever, you can do that whenever you want (in her mind) she wants to do something a little different for your birthday.
for my birthday, my wife let me take her shopping, buy her shoes and take her to the restaurant of her choice.

My missus, who bought me a saint rear mech for my last b'day is absolutely wetting herself with laughter at the willow chair story.

Divorce is the answer.

It's not like I don't love her, but for once she has just got this so wrong, bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

Sounds like you're a bit of a magnet for crap presents. Maybe it's you?

bit like the time my mum saved money at Christams and made my Action man some clothes instead of buying them- Action Man off duty male nurse anyone?

Brilliant! PMSL!!

* amazes me people can stand infront of every * they know and pledge undying love for someone they have no **** idea how to talk to.

I'm sorta with you on that.

See, I'm a big kid. I like a surprise for a present, I don't like asking for stuff. In all the years Mrs PP and I have been together (11) she's only got it wrong once. She bought me a Playstation for Christmas, and I really didn't want one, so I told her nicely, we took it back for a refund and I put the money toward a digital SLR, which I still have. There was no problem with that at all

I simply cannot believe you'd post this on here without speaking to your wife FIRST. It's nuts. Crazy. Silly.

I simply cannot believe you'd post this on here without speaking to your wife FIRST. It's nuts. Crazy. Silly.

If everyone kept this sort of info to themselves while thinking it through before sorting it out in the real world, this forum would be pretty dull, no?

I got a calendar from my mum for Christmas - it's got kittens on it. Lots of lovely, sweet, fluffy kittens on it. I thought that she wanted me to find a woman and produce grandchildren?

Then again, she wouldn't tell me what she wanted herself for Christmas, so the at the 247th time of asking "What would you like for Christmas" and being told "I don't know at the moment, let me think about it" she was informed that she was getting a nice pair of spotlights for my Land Rover unless she had a better idea. It turned out that 200 quid to spend on clothes in the sales was a better idea. Job done.

Practical Matt - I sympathise, that doesn't sound like my sort of thing either.

However, have you considered that she did realise what you wanted for your birthday but with a present of something for you to do together she's trying to send you a message about you sodding off out on your bike all the time?

so she's cancelled the chair weaving class but;

1) was she pissed off, pleased or indifferent to be told you didn't want it?

2) are you getting bike bits instead?

I did think you could have set up in competition with broookes for most archaic saddle if you'd gone through with it.

Edit: and was she chuffed you'd asked on here before asking her?

On the flip side, I bought my wife some bits (pedals, grips and a new saddle) for her cannondale at christmas. She pi**ed herself laughing, and couldnt understand why I'd bought them, when 'it's already got stuff on that's not worn out or anything'. I guess it's just an example of the different ways that men and women think about 'stuff'. My wife's an occupational therapist, and scarily, I think she'd have enjoyed the weaving the moss underpants in a wood thing!

This thread is brilliant! I would seriously hope that other half would know what you do/don't like! Plus if it was something a little wrong i'd just tell Mr MC "I don't think so, but thanks for the care and thoughts" however it would NEVER happen!! Does seem an odd choice of present but hey like others said I understand where you are coming from but it COULD be fun ( or then again .....) :lol

So is she buying you anything now? or are you going to be sulking on your birthday? Dare I say it, but haven't got enough money to buy a few sprare inner tubes, maybe you should've bought a smaller house with a smaller mortgage! Sorry.

Don't mean to be rude, but 2 years of marriage and only 2 years together before that, you sure you spent enough time getting to know each other inside out before tying the knot?

When you're out on your bike, do you enjoy yourself only once you get to the place you're going, or do you enjoy yourself while your riding too? And while you're riding, are there good bits and bad bits, or is it downhill all the way?

(DHers are the equivalent of prostitute-using johns here, I suppose: they pay for the uplifts so that they can only experience the pleasure but they never really form relationships with the hills). (I'd better stop with this metaphor, I'm sounding like Swiss Toni).

"(DHers are the equivalent of prostitute-using johns here, I suppose: they pay for the uplifts so that they can only experience the pleasure but they never really form relationships with the hills"

As a DHer, I'd like to point out we often push up, and a day DHing can be a lot more knackering than a day out on the XC bike.

Well she's still talking to me so I think we're fine.
Of course she has no idea about this forum thread.

As for a smaller mortgage- yes it is something that I would have liked. But a two bed semi is hardly Buckingham place I just paid the going rate for houses in my area.

Basically we get on like a house on fire and spend pretty much every minute together doing stuff- we've been to the North pole together, we've hitch hiked to Morroco and I think she's amazing. She just has this bizare approach to present buying- her Dad and I bonded over it the first time we met. He'd asked for some DIY equipment so they got him an hour driving a 4X4 (he drives a van for the council).

The argument (on her part) seems to be if she can't find it exciting or interetsting she doesn't understand why anyone else would want it and if you ask for it- you wont get it as it wont be surprise.

I for my part just don't want her wasting her money which she works hard for on a woefully missjudged presnet which makes neither of us happy. I said to her I'd rather she just came out with me on her bike and we sat at the top of a hil and watched the scenery and she shared with me something that makes me truly happy for free.

And yes, I am a magnet for sh1t presents- I could fill a book with the well intentioned howlers of my parents. Just occasionally (like this) I it all gets to me and I just want something that makes me happy as I spend my whole time making other people happy and giving up my time to work for free for friends and family etc.

Anyway I'm sounding like Arther Fowler when he had his breakdown now so I'll shut up and say thanks everyone, feel free to keep this thread going for hilarity value but I think I've got it sorted.

Oh just for clarity value- I trained as chippie as a trade, but pay the mortgage being a Police Fraud Examiner- this should clarify a few contradicting threads out there.

It was only a matter of time before the "I've got the perfect marriage with the most amazingly in tune partner who knows everything I ever want and need" types appeared. You know who you are and you know what you sound like. Pfft.

As a DHer, I'd like to point out we often push up, and a day DHing can be a lot more knackering than a day out on the XC bike.

That's why you see DHers stopping for a fag every so often. Hard work this bike pushing.. 🙂

the mrs once commissioned a painting/print of me riding my jump bike at the local trails.

i have the first copy/print
replicas are for sale in glynncorrig (sp) cafe.

that's pretty cool. (i think)

Trying to hint to the wife that I want a track day next time she wants to buy me a day out 🙂

Thanks Matt for sharing...this thread's really made me chuckle this morning! 8)

I think going to a wood and making a chair together sounds quite relaxing. You'll bond and become closer, instead of getting those selfish bike parts and going off on your bike ON YOUR OWN!!!

Just because it is your birthday doesn't mean that you have to be selfish.

Konabunny -

When you're out on your bike, do you enjoy yourself only once you get to the place you're going, or do you enjoy yourself while your riding too? And while you're riding, are there good bits and bad bits, or is it downhill all the way?

(DHers are the equivalent of prostitute-using johns here, I suppose: they pay for the uplifts so that they can only experience the pleasure but they never really form relationships with the hills). (I'd better stop with this metaphor, I'm sounding like Swiss Toni).

This is the best metaphor for bike riding ever. FACT.

"As a result we have little cash to spend on oursleves and my beloved Orange Five is drifting into diss-repair due to lack of mechanical skill on my part and the ability to even stretch to basic supplies like inner tubes some months.

I don't think she really appreciates that I genuinly do find one of my few life affirming sollaces to be riding my bike and cutting through single track in 'the zone' etc. Not to mention the sorting-out-your-head joy of many hours on your own just turning the pedals and getting the world to make sense whilst you do it.!"

im so glad you wrote this matt.im in excactly the same life situation.but riding hepls make it all bearable.i asked for some cash towards bike bits at xmas (as the things i need are so random)did i get any?not a penny.go loads of other crap i dont need tho..
i actually dont look forward to birthdays because of this dilemma coming up, but when i get a nice fat parcel fro CRC that I have ordered, im like a five year old on xmas day all over again...
It was such an issue on year i just said "give some money to charity" as i have all the things i need (which means-i buy what i need!) they couldnt even do that!

if she's so into suprises, how do you know what it was going to be?

Wow, 2 years into marriage and she can't get a b'day present right?

Early days yet, you'll get to an (inevitable) point where nothing is a surprise, nothing is novel, and even that your relationship means you don't particularly bother with none-essentials like presents.

T'was my 40th last year, got a medium sized camelbak, still "on a promise" for my proper present, doesn't bother me what/when, it'll arrive at the right time.

If you can't see you chair making workshop adding anything to your life, then go on it, use the weekend as an excuse for a prolonged piss up, or, use the skill, sell some of the product, spend hard earned on the bike stuff you require.

PMSL too..... :lol:check your paypal mate £5 sent towards your bike parts cause that was an Ace story!

😛

[i]But on my special day - no way[/i]

How young do you have to be to still think of your birthday as "my special day"? (12?!)

Brill thread. 😀

That'll be you not getting an invite to his party then dez. And there'll be trifle and everything. Har-har!

Gents (and I think it is mostly gents here that will benefit...). I really do recommend suggesting the £25 present max thing. It stops excessive present inflation (was it £400 pp that we were all meant to have spent last xmas?) and makes it more personal with small thoughtful gifts rather than overblown expressions. "Big" presents were cool when you were a kid and had little access to your own money, but when you are older and have your own disposable cash it's far more meaningless and really a bit silly with everyone more or less spending the same on each other but spending more than they should. The added spin off is that as a couple we have more cash spare to spend on joint things when the time is appropriate rather than because it falls on a particular date. Oh, and yes, there is more in my pocket for that cheeky bike purchase 😉 .